Disclaimer: I do not own MGLN but my girlfriend reckons she should!
Author's Notes: Hi guys, I know I keep apologising for my haphazard update but I am truly sorry. Having several jobs is definitely not conducive to regular updates. Please do not worry though, I will finish this story.
Thank you to FateKitty; Zarosguth; Lance58; Vylria; Guest; Gin Alucard; ForeverYoung97; nanofatehere and kurosunoiku for your reviews as well as to all those who are reading, have favourited and are following this story.
FateKitty: I hope this is a better chapter. It will start progressing faster in the 2nd Arc. I will strive to update as often as I can.
Zarosguth: Thank you for spotting that Linith/Lindy name confusion. I have changed it accordingly :-) I don't know how many times I have read that without picking it up. We will find out in this Arc how some characters will react to who Fate is. Arf is unknowingly getting closer already… ;-) spoiler for this chapter.
A very special shout out to ForeverYoung97 for your beautiful PM :-)
Without further ado here is the long overdue chapter with some Fate-Nanoha interaction as well as Fate-Arf interaction.
WARNING: Profanities!
2nd ARC
Chapter 30
Enemy
Fate's POV.
The week-end with Nanoha and her family was out of this world. I have experienced so much that it feels like I have lived a lifetime in those few days. My eyes and broken heart have been opened. I am not sure how I can go back to my life after what has happened. I have only been existing until now. I am not sure I want to go back to my old life… but I haven't yet fulfilled my duty to Mother…
I glance at Nanoha and my lips instantly curve upwards. We have just come back from the hot springs. Nanoha's parents having dropped us off in front of the apartment complex we stay in. I watch as she says her goodbyes. I had already thanked them profusely for having let Linith and I come along. Linith, Hayate and Yuuno haven't arrived just yet but they should be here shortly.
Being able to watch her family interact has been surreal to say the least. It has taken what I know and turned it upside down. I have so many questions I wouldn't dare voice aloud.
I feel so vulnerable in front of Nanoha, under her gaze. I temporarily lost myself to her this week-end. She made me forget for a brief moment, forget everything except the depth of her eyes, the feel of her embrace, the gentle caress of her lips, the warmth of her tongue. I shut my eyes at the sensation this memory elicits. How I ache for more…
I feel a slight quiver run through me. I recognise it not as longing but as fear. I am afraid. I am afraid of what it means to be back in the city. I am afraid of this new found relationship with Nanoha. I am afraid of the fact that I don't want it to end. I am afraid of this need that I have for her.
I fear Mother finding out.
I fear Nanoha has become part of the air I breathe. Stronger than an addiction, I need her. I feel the pull of my heart towards her. That feeling alone scares me. I fear her reaction to the real me. Would I tell her? She deserves to know. I want to but Mother would never allow it and what would Mother do if I did?
I take in a breath and hold it briefly. I need to end what we have. What is it that we have exactly? I only needed the memories as Linith said. But… my heart is begging my mind not to sabotage this. Why?
Could I keep it secret from Mother, from the Project? They are everywhere… but I have been taught by them so who better than me. No this isn't fair on Nanoha, not to mention dangerous. She wouldn't engage in this, whatever this is with me, if she knew about me, about the Project, about Regius. Regius…
I was so lost in the moments with Nanoha that I hadn't anticipated his text message. Figures my life would always come back and remind me of my true nature. I can't help the involuntary grimace on my face at the thought of it.
My jaded vixen, how I look forward to our promised meeting. A car will be over to pick you up next week, I will confirm date and time in the upcoming days. Oh how I look forward to it, it's making me rather excited. I am keeping myself entertained in the meantime with thoughts of your delicious body breaking under mine. R.
My hand instantly makes its way to my injured arm. I grasp it and squeeze. It has heeled a great deal, however, I can still feel it. The pain makes me cringe and I close my eyes but it's a welcome distraction from the thought of him and our eventual meeting. How I wish to escape this world sometimes. Things were so much simpler when I was at the Fortress but then I wouldn't have met Nanoha. I dig my nails further into my arm. The pain is definitely a welcome reprieve.
This can't be what Mother had intended I do with Regius? I am not so sure anymore. What is my role in the Project? To serve and obey; to be a puppet but… this isn't really what I want. Guilt immediately floods my system. What I want should not matter yet indulging in Regius's fantasies… surely Mother wouldn't allow it. I don't want that. I open my eyes again.
I want to be with Nanoha. The thought of him touching me... I must do what Mother tells me. Yet a little voice within me is screaming no.
Never in my life would I have thought I would be this conflicted over so many things.
"Everything alright Fate?" Nanoha breaks my inner turmoil whilst placing her hand gently on mine that is gripping my arm. Her simple touch, her calming voice sets me almost instantly at ease.
"Yes." It is now, although for how long? If only I could be by your side forever and start my life anew with you. "Have your parents left?" I ask to which I get a nod. I notice she is carrying her bag in her other hand. I smile at her and move closer to her. I reach for her bag and gently caress her fingers as I take it. "Let me."
"Thank you Fate." I would do anything for her. Anything for her to look at me the same way she is now, forever, with utter trust and devotion.
Would she still look at me that way were she to know my true identity? I can never escape the dark thoughts and questions from polluting my every moment of calm.
I grasp my bag with my other hand and let her lead the way into our apartment complex. We make our way in comfortable silence. I drop my bag just outside the door of my place as I wait for Nanoha to open her door. We both make it in her apartment. I gently drop her bag in her main area and slip my hands into the back pockets of my jeans. I don't want to say goodbye. I don't want to leave the magic of the week-end just yet.
I turn to face her only to realise that she is now right in front of me. My face flushes at the close proximity. I wonder if I will ever get used to it. Nanoha smiles and wraps her arms around my waist effectively trapping my hands in my pockets. She rests her head in the crook of my neck. I feel her eye lashes tickle my skin. I like the proximity this week-end has brought us.
"I'm thinking I won't let you go." I hear her say. "I'm thinking I will keep you here forever, right in my arms." I don't doubt that she certainly would try. I would gladly stay. Her warmth reaches every crevice of my soul.
"I would very much like that." I softly reply, extracting my arms and returning her embrace. It is funny how such a simple gesture has become so natural, so welcomed, so needed.
We stay like this for a few moments, relishing in each others presence and touch when I feel her slightly shift. I glance down at her. Her eyes are searching mine. There is worry in them. I don't like to see her worry.
"Hey Fate, you don't find me too clingy do you? Because I realise that I probably come across that way and I also realise we don't know each other terribly long but I feel so connected to you, like we have known each other since forever. Oh my goodness that sounds even clingier. I hope I haven't effectively scared you away because…"
I know of one sure way to quell her worries and show her that she couldn't possibly scare me away. If anything it would be the other way around. Normally I would never dare to be so bold but with Nanoha it's different. I am a different person with her. I am not property of the Project. I am just Fate. I cut her off by gently placing my lips on top of hers. Nanoha gasps at my surprise action. Her arms tighten around me trying to pull me closer. I want to be closer.
Her lips are so very soft. Right at this moment I am just Fate and the shards of my heart belong to Nanoha. I wouldn't want to be anywhere but right here with her. I pull back and ask her: "Does that answer your questions?"
"Well I may still have a little question that needs clarification; perhaps you'd be so kind as to answer it for me." She says with the most radiant smile and faint blush painting her cheeks. Who am I to deny her? I feel my heart beat strong and sure. I feel the happiness coursing through my veins and arteries. I feel the palms of her hands move from my waist up to my shoulder blades. I feel the heat radiating from them. I feel her thighs right up against my thighs. I feel her hips against my hips. I feel her warm breath. My eyes travel from her eyes that are waiting in anticipation to her lips that are begging for attention.
I lean in and close my eyes. The kiss is a little more demanding. My tongue brushes her lips asking for permission. Nanoha grants it. I feel almost light headed as my tongue caresses hers. I can feel her fingertips as her palms close and grip the fabric of my shirt. I let go and let passion take over pouring everything into the kiss. I can't get enough of Nanoha. She has ignited this fire within me that only burns for her.
My lips make it to her neck and collar bone where I draw patterns with my tongue and place gentle nips with my teeth. Nanoha arches into me and exposes her neck granting me better access. I feel her heart beat pulse rapidly against my lips on her soft skin. Our bodies try to mould as one. I place soft kisses below and behind her ear and am instantly rewarded by an appreciative hum.
It is clear to me in this moment that I cannot give this up, that I cannot give Nanoha up. That thought excites yet terrifies me all at once. The tenderness yet passion consuming the room is palpable. The spell only broken as I remind myself that we are expecting Linith and Hayate at any moment. I don't want them to see us this way.
Nanoha and I had agreed that we would keep our relationship to ourselves for a little bit. We want to be together without the pressure of people knowing just yet. Of course this is also beneficial to me as I need to figure out what I am going to do. I think Nanoha somehow understood this. Clearly not being with Nanoha isn't an option; however, it doesn't make any of the other options any easier. I need to figure this all out quickly.
"You make it incredibly hard to go but I have to. Hayate and Linith will be here shortly." I whisper in her ear. I feel her arms tighten in response which makes me smile. The feeling of being wanted although quite foreign warms me. "I promise I will be back later." I tell her to which she nods and relaxes her hold. I give her a quick peck on the lips.
"You better be quick. I am not sure how long I will be able to hold out without you." Nanoha replies, giving me a lingering kiss on the cheek as she reluctantly releases me. My heart flutters. My desire to stay and hold her for the entire afternoon almost wins; however, I do have things to discuss with Linith.
I take a step back from Nanoha and head to the door. As I open it, I say to her, "See you soon." I do hope to make it back as soon as possible. I close her door behind me and make my way to my apartment. I fish out the keys from my bag on the floor and proceed to put it into the lock only to notice that the door isn't locked at all. Strange! I know we locked it before we left for the week-end.
I carefully open the door and am instantly hit with a pungent stench that makes me cringe in disgust. The door swings open fully and I find myself standing in complete shock. The apartment I share with Linith has been completely vandalised. I take a step inside.
The sofa has been ripped in several places, the stuffing pulled out and what looks like oil spilled all over it. Plates and glasses lay shattered on the ground. Drawers lie upturned on the floor, most cupboard doors are either precariously dangling from one hinge or ripped off completely. Anything that can be broken is broken, bar the windows for some strange reason.
I will myself to take another step inside and hear the near deafening crunch of debris under my shoes. What the hell happened here? Table legs have been broken, the lampshade lies cracked by my foot, its bulb probably in a hundred pieces somewhere in this mess. Any type of food that we had in the cupboards or fridge has been opened and from what it would seem thrown against the walls.
It doesn't look like a robbery. We wouldn't have had anything to steal anyway not to mention thieves probably wouldn't spend time trashing a place for fear of getting caught. Whoever it was knew we were out of town.
I feel anger and sadness. Someone has come into Linith's and my living space and desecrated it. I feel oddly violated. I am about to move when I hear Nanoha's apartment door open. "Ah Fate, your still there, I just wanted to tell you… Oh my! What happened?"
My shock prevents me from reacting in time. I should have closed the door behind me. I find myself, however, unable to move. Nanoha closes her door and makes her way to me. She places her hand on my shoulder.
We survey the mess together in silence for a few moments when Nanoha breaks it, "What is that smell?" I look around but can't make out where it is coming from. My bedroom door is ajar and I can barely make out the bed but from the looks of it, it has also been tampered with.
I move towards it. Nanoha's hand slips off my shoulder as she follows me. I make it to the bedroom door and instantly know that the smell is coming from here. I sweep broken shards of debris with the door as I push it open with my boot. I am not prepared for what greets me. I have never had an attack on me personally, with the Project I am normally the one inflicting it. This is completely foreign ground. I hear Nanoha catch her breath behind me.
The mattress of the bed has been ripped in several places. The sheets seem to be in pieces. I assume the cotton I see around the room is from my pillow. However, that is not the worst part. From the stench, the telltale colour as well as the obvious evidence lying on my bed, it would appear someone has defecated and urinated right where I sleep. To add salt in the already gaping wound this mysterious enemy has also left a message above my bed in what appears to be faeces as well. The glowing, glaring letters spell out: Weak.
I feel bile rise up in my throat but I force it back down. I clench my first. My nails dig into my palms. I have the niggling suspicion I know who did this. The message is specific. Only one person would have the stupidity and audacity to do this. She is a complete loose canon.
"This seems like a really vicious personal attack." Nanoha states. How do I explain this mess to her? My life to her is already shrouded in mystery and now with this it will just add to it. "We should call the police." I see her pull out her phone and get ready to call.
"No. No police. I…" I am cut off by voices entering the apartment.
"Guess who we ran into downst…Holy shit! What the hell happened?" Hayate walks in and as she spots us makes her way towards us. "Are you guys alright?" She asks.
"We just got here and found it like this." Nanoha answers for us both. I hear more voices in the corridor leading up to our place and suddenly see Linith appear, carrying Yuuno and right behind her Arf. What is she doing here? This just got far more complicated…
"Oh my goodness!" Linith exclaims. Her hand coming up to her mouth.
"Wow!" Is all Arf manages as she walks around taking stock of the mess surrounding us. No one says anything for a while, not knowing how to process this information.
"Fuck!" Hayate breaks the silence. "Is that shit we are smelling and in your bedroom Fate?" All I can do is nod in confirmation. I watch Arf disappear briefly into Linith's bedroom. I glance back to Linith. My mind is going far too fast. I see the realisation of who this probably was in her eyes but I also see the apprehension of how to explain this sufficiently to the others so as not to attract suspicion and more questions. I watch as Linith squares her shoulders and places Yuuno's cage on top of her bag. We both nod to each other. We know that however we handle this will ultimately define future outcomes. No one can be involved with the Project. If Hayate, Arf or Nanoha suspect anything, the Project will have them eliminated. We can't let that happen.
Linith turns away to shut the door from any more prying eyes. All eyes are on her as she makes a bit of noise trying to move some glass out of the way to push it closed. Arf has reappeared and she is about to say something but it's forgotten as we are all fixated on the back of the now firmly shut door.
In vibrant blue and from the looks of it spray paint, taking up most of the door is a large roman numeral. This is all the confirmation I need. I definitely know who did this now not that I had any doubts before.
"Is that the letter four in roman numerals?" Hayate asks rhetorically.
Quattro!
Arf is the first to move, she walks right up to the door. Her eyes are scanning the signature. She is looking for clues. Her presence couldn't have come at a worse time.
"I will call the precinct and have the finger print guys come in and do a sweep of the place as well as the crime scene department. Judging by the mess it is almost impossible that they hadn't left some sort of print not to mention the DNA smeared all over your bedroom. This certainly isn't your regular breaking and entering." Arf says in full police mode now as she looks directly at me.
This is bad. I have to think fast. "Please that won't be necessary." I try.
"Nonsense, a crime has been committed here." Arf counters, her phone now in her hands. She starts unlocking the screen. My mind starts to panic. Linith is about to take a step forward but I beat her to it and place my hand on Arf's phone. All eyes are on me.
Arf looks up at me confused. I need to come up with something plausible. Maybe a half-truth will be adequate here again. "I don't want to make a fuss about this. Nor do I want to involve the police." Arf's frown deepens. "I know the person who did this," I continue, "She is a little crazy." I chuckle because really she is completely insane in my opinion.
"A little crazy? Forgive my bluntness but she shat on your bed and smeared it on your wall, not to mention trashed your place. The other bedroom is damaged but not to the extent yours is. This attack seems to be aimed at you. This borders on madness and obsession not to mention incredibly vindictive. Has this person done this before?"
"To an extent yes." I answer truthfully.
"Well then they must be stopped." Arf states righteously. If only…
"They are getting help," I lie, no amount of help could change Quattro. "But you see they are family." Not exactly a lie this time, we both belong to the Project.
"But…" Arf tries again. However, I cut her off.
"Please." I am appealing to her better nature in the hopes that she will drop this. I watch as she ponders this.
"Fine but I do this reluctantly; however, it's clear from this that this person is out of control. They should probably be warned of the severity of what they have done and how close they were to having police intervention."
"Thank you, I will tell them and make sure this doesn't happen again." I say whilst removing my hand from her phone.
"I am surprised that you are protecting them considering the damage and violation to your property. From the mess, I can't imagine them protecting you. They should take responsibility." Arf continues.
"I know but family is family and their mental condition is quite complicated." I hope my answers and reasoning does enough to placate her.
"Alright I won't pry any further and I will leave it to you." Arf concludes and makes her way towards my bedroom carefully stepping in and crinkling her nose at the strong smell. I release a breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding. A hand makes its way onto my shoulder offering a comforting squeeze. I look to my side at Linith. She offers me a reassuring smile. I catch movement in my bedroom and just manage to catch Arf taking a photo with her phone of the faeces message. A sigh escapes my lips. I can't do anymore without drawing suspicion.
"You know I knew that we all had someone a little crazy in the family but Fate yours takes the icing on the cake. They must really be mad at you." Hayate says trying to lighten the tone in the apartment.
I offer her a smile, "I am pretty sure she was born mad at me."
Linith makes her way towards the kitchen and starts picking up potentially salvageable objects but knowing Quattro she has probably made sure everything is broken and unusable.
"Well whatever the reason, it shouldn't be justified this way. What she has done is awful." Nanoha chimes in after staying quiet for a while. I hear the anger in her voice. She slips past me and into my bedroom. I watch as she crouches and starts picking up some of my clothes off of the floor and inspects them.
"What are you doing?" I ask her.
"Hoping she hasn't destroyed all of your things." Nanoha answers as she picks up a shirt that Quattro must have missed and places it over her arm as she reaches for another. "I have a small washing machine I will pass these through to make sure they are clean and enough space for both Linith and you to stay with me." She says as she discards an item with a big rip in it.
I am speechless for a moment at her gesture but find my voice again. "You don't need to do that Nanoha. Linith and I will get to cleaning straight away and we will most likely throw out everything. We can at least have her room done and both bunk in there." I don't want her to have to go out of her way for us.
Nanoha stands and comes near me with a small smile. "I want to do this for you both. You can't possibly stay in here with this stench and mess. It will also take a while to clean which I will gladly help you with. I also don't feel comfortable with you sleeping in this room after what has happened in it without disinfecting it completely and possibly repainting it. It would make me happy to have you two stay with me. I know you would do the same for me in a heart beat." She gently tells me. If roles were reversed I would hunt the fool who dared to mess with her down and make sure it never happened again.
It doesn't take much convincing. Admittingly it would also make me happy being nearer to Nanoha but it also means she will be closer to the Project. Linith and I will just have to be careful. My desire to be with Nanoha out wins my concerns about the Project and I give Nanoha an agreeing nod to which she smiles and continues searching for salvageable items.
"I will help you guys as much as I can too." Hayate voices. "With the four of us it shouldn't take too long."
"Thank you Hayate." Linith gratefully responds.
"Anything for friends. Nanoha, I am just popping over to your place to drop Yuuno off and make sure he has some food and water before we get our hands dirty, be back in a second." Hayate throws out as she picks up Yuuno's cage, carefully opens the door and heads out.
I turn towards Arf. To be honest I rather she didn't stick around. Her presence has me on edge not to mention fills me with longing and guilt for my former friend. I don't think I can handle any more confusion and complications. Our eyes make contact. I see the million questions she wants to ask but refrains due to politeness and circumstance. I see the hope lingering of Alicia's fate. I see the proud and determined woman she has become. I see the pain she must have gone through after my disappearance. I see my former self's best friend searching my eyes for all her answers. My guilt consumes me. I feel it devour me completely. I blink and slightly turn my head to break the connection.
"You probably came up to either see us or Nanoha and Hayate before we all got distracted with this mess?" I ask Arf. My suspicions tell me she came for me.
"Ah, huh, yes. I came to chat to you actually. I have some questions about…" She pauses, as if uncertain about saying the name aloud, "Alicia. However, I think in light of everything that has happened, now probably isn't the right time."
I can only imagine her frustration at having to wait some more for answers which unfortunately will probably have to be lies. She can't be too close to us, being a police officer means that her proximity to me will put her automatically in danger from the Project.
"Yes. This certainly isn't the best setting. Perhaps we can chat some other time maybe after we have this mess cleaned up?" I realise that our conversation is inevitable yet this should buy me more than enough time to think about the best possible way to answer her questions without drawing suspicion.
"That sounds good." Arf offers with a smile. "Would you like some help cleaning up?"
"Thank you but I think we should be fine. I don't want to have to subject anyone else to this stench." I chuckle. The less time I am around her, the better.
Arf in turn laughs. "Yes, it is indeed quite a strong smell. Well then since everything is under control I will head out. Bye Nanoha and Linith." Arf turns to them respectively and gives them a wave then she turns back to me. "Til the next time Fate, good luck with the cleaning. And Fate, whatever issue they have with you should be looked at seriously." She waves a hand towards my bedroom. "It can quickly escalate." I give her a nod and with that she makes her way towards the door.
I glance back towards Nanoha who is still diligently sifting through my clothing. Surprisingly she has managed to find a fair few items that haven't been shredded. I realise I haven't heard the front door open. Our space isn't that big that it would take time to cross the distance. My gaze makes its way towards the main door of the apartment to see if maybe Arf has had a problem with the door. At this exact moment Linith makes her way to me and partially blocks my view. I turn my head slightly and spot Arf taking another picture of the door with her phone.
My hand makes its way to my temple. Something I have been doing a lot lately. A gesture that is synonymous with stress. She has evidence of Quattro's mess. Will we need to tell Mother about this? Would it put Arf's life in danger? However, if she doesn't suspect anything and takes my explanations as truths then the photos are harmless. Yet she has them making the Project vulnerable. Damn Quattro!
Linith offers me a reassuring smile, however, my attention is taken away from me when I notice Arf bending down. Linith turns slightly to see what has caught my interest. We watch as Arf crouches in front of the lamp shade and pulls out a tissue from her pocket.
Realisation downs on me making my blood run cold. We watch as she picks up using the tissue a small item from the floor and inspects it carefully. Arf gently wraps said item in her tissue and stands. She briefly turns towards us to which Linith stands completely in front of me giving the impression we didn't see anything. I catch a movement from behind Linith and assume she has pocketed the tissue as she makes her way to the door, opens it and heads out.
A cold sweat has formed on my neck as well as under my armpits. I had completely forgotten that the Project had probably stashed listening devices all over the apartment to keep tabs on us and make sure we are behaving. It must have been on or in that damn lampshade. I cup my face with my hands. How are we going to get out of this one? Arf definitely suspects something now. How can she not? It isn't normal for two women to have a listening device in their place that coincidently was trashed. Mother will be so angry.
How can I keep everyone from getting hurt? How can I keep Mother happy? How can I keep fulfilling my duty to the Project? How do I fix this?
There is no escaping this. Arf's curious mind will question the listening device and probably track it back to its source. She won't let this rest.
I feel two hands grasp mine and gently pull them down whilst maintaining their hold. I look up to meet Linith's gaze. She takes a step closer to me and whispers so softly I have to strain to hear her, "It's okay Fate, I will take care of this. Don't mention it to anyone, okay? I will look after this." How could she possibly do this? The only way would be to wipe Arf's memory and seeing as that isn't a realistic option… to take Arf out. No! That can't even be considered an option, I refuse. Who am I kidding? This will not end well for someone.
Linith sensing my internal struggle tries to reassure me. "No one will get hurt, I promise. Nothing will happen to Arf, okay? I promise." I weakly nod at her. How can she keep such a promise? How will she sort this out? This has rapidly reached a point that is out of our control. I have completely failed Mother. Will Linith tell her? She is under obligation to but…something in the way Linith is looking at me tells me otherwise. I have a bad feeling about this. I can see from the look in her eyes that she is begging me to trust her. I nod again to her and take a deep breath.
This feels like the culmination, the culmination to our eventual downfall. The Project and I are truly running on borrowed time.
To be continued…
