Chapter Thirty-Seven
"Ah, welcome, Severus Snape," Voldemort said smoothly. "Your friends have told me much about you."
A part of Severus wanted to sneer, "Oh, really?", but he kept his mouth shut. He had nothing pleasant to say to this murdering, evil overlord who stood in front of him. If Severus's friends thought they were doing him a favor, they couldn't have been more wrong. His days of hiding his emotions behind Occlumency and pretending to be a loyal Death Eater were done, forever, and he had no inclination to return to them.
Severus simply glared at Voldemort defiantly, making sure to block his memories of his past life.
"I sense much anger and darkness inside of you, young Snape," Voldemort said, smirking slightly. "Your friends have obliged me with the details of your tragic life thus far and how the recent loss of your dear mother fueled a raging attack upon another student. I know of your knowledge and skill with the Dark Arts. Someone like you would be a valuable asset to the fold, and I promise you, you would be amply rewarded."
Severus knew it was pointless, but he tried to Disapparate regardless. He couldn't spend another moment looking to the face of the man who had murdered him (and so many) and who he had foolished served before. This was one mistake he wasn't going to make again, no matter how messed up the rest of his life became.
"Like hell," Severus whispered.
"What's that, Snape?" Voldemort asked, his voice hinted with malice, on edge to strike.
"You heard me," Severus ground out. "Like hell you would reward me."
Voldemort released a high-pitched, cruel laugh into the air. "Such spirit. So furious and bitter at such a young age." He laughed some more, but then sobered, hissing, "And trying to Disapparate? You little imbecile! Do you not think I wouldn't be prepared for such things? I can't have people simply vanishing whenever they wish to depart."
Severus's hand was grasping hopelessly for his wand, which he knew had been taken from him upon his arrival. If he had it, he would have felt marginally safer, and doing wandless magic was draining. He closed his eyes, ignoring those around him, willing himself to escape. He might not be able to Apparate, but there were other means...
Just then, he felt his left arm being roughly grabbed and his sleeve being forced up. He struggled and tried to pull away, but to no avail. Opening his eyes, he saw the tip of the Dark Lord's wand an inch from his unmarked skin.
No, no, no... Then, his thoughts became vocalized. "No, no, no," he muttered wildly. His heart was pumping quickly, and adrenaline was coursing through him. "No!" he bellowed, somehow finding the strength to pull his arm away.
Everything happened so fast. Severus began running in the opposite direction, knowing he wouldn't escape if he kept merely running. He was severely outnumbered. Thankfully, they were gathered outside in a thick forest, and so, Severus closed his eyes, thinking of the first thing that would give him the power to do what he must... Lily. He felt his feet lifting off the ground, and as he ascended, he released a triumphal laugh.
He'd done it! He was flying!
"Accio my wand!" he shouted, and the Death Eater who was holding Severus's wand stood in stupid shock as he watched the ebony piece of wood fly out of his hand and toward the flying man.
"You fools!" Voldemort shouted. "What are you just standing around for? Get him!"
Now that he had his wand, Severus felt more confident in his abilities. He hastened his speed and disappeared into the canopy of trees, but flashes of light from spell after spell and shouts of frustration followed in his wake. He didn't dare look back, lest he lose his concentration and hit a tree. Finally, he was free of the forest and was soaring above the trees, leaving Voldemort and his followers behind.
His heart still thudding in his ears, Severus felt the adrenline slowly begin to wear off. He had escaped! It seemed too easy, though. One thing he could thank the Dark Lord for was teaching him how to fly, and that wasn't an ability Voldemort had acquired until after his resurrection. Few wizards could pull off a feat like that, but he had already used it to escape from Hogwarts when the teachers had turned against him. Feeling exhausted from the sheer amount of power it had taken to do wandless magic, Severus surveyed his surroundings and found a safe place to land. He closed his eyes and tried to regain some of his strength. Feeling drained, he leaned against a tree. He would need to wait a little while before Apparating back to the Forbidden Forest.
Knowing how close he had come to being marked again, Severus reflected on why that had happened. He had perhaps come too close mentally to turning to the Dark side again in his life. Lately, his relationship with Lily was almost nonexistent, and he knew he was throwing away his chance at life.
What is wrong with me? What am I doing with myself and to others? This isn't how it was supposed to be!
Now he had the added problem of having made an open enemy of Voldemort. When he hadn't been face-to-face with his killer, Severus could go about his life without too much thought about the Dark Lord, but now all of that had changed. He had told Dumbledore that the war didn't concern him, that he wanted to live his life and be left alone, but was that realistic? The unfortunate reality was that Voldemort now knew his name and face, and Voldemort never forgot those who so openly defied him.
The weight of everything was settling in, and Severus's momentary euphoria at escaping the Dark Lord was gone. The only thing he could have done that would have enraged the Dark Lord more toward him would have been if he had tried to kill him, but Severus knew the Dark Lord had protection against being so easily killed.
Gathering himself, Severus stood and Disapparated. When he opened his eyes, he was back in the forest near the thestrals. He looked around for Hagrid, but the half-giant was no where in sight.
"Hagrid!" Severus called out.
Hagrid appeared from behind some trees, clearly worried and upset. "Where have yeh bin, Snape?" he demanded. "I was lookin' all over for yeh!"
"No time to explain right now, Hagrid," Severus replied impatiently, forgetting he was a student. "I need to see the headmaster."
"I'd say yeh did," Hagrid said gruffly. "Runnin' off like that durin' detention. Dumbledore's not gonna be happy."
Severus followed Hagrid back to the grounds. When they arrived at Hagrid's cabin, Hagrid asked suspiciously, "D'you need me to go with yeh?"
"No, I'll be fine, thank you," Severus said curtly.
Without another word, he made his way back to the castle. He would talk to Dumbledore, but first, he had someone more important he needed to see. He sought out the portrait of the Fat Lady.
"I need to see Lily Evans," he demanded.
"You're not a Gryffindor, young man," the Fat Lady sniffed distainfully.
"I'm quite aware of that," Severus replied hotly. "But this is important."
"Oh, it's always important, isn't it?" the Fat Lady replied. "Do you have any idea how many students come here, bothering me incessantly, asking to be allowed in?"
Severus was about to say he didn't care, but then the entrance swug open, and as a couple of second years stepped out, Severus pushed his way past them, not caring if he knocked them over, and rushed into the Gryffindor common room.
"Young man!" Severus heard the portrait exclaiming indignantly as it closed. Whatever the Fat Lady said after that was lost.
Severus's arrival was met with looks of shock and cries of outrage from several Gryffindors.
"What's he doing in here?"
"You're not allowed!"
"This the Gryffindor common room!"
"Severus?" he heard a sweet voice ask.
Ignoring all the protests and scornful remarks, Severus made his way toward Lily and grabbed her by the hand.
"You must come with me, Lily," he said.
Lily, noting the urgency in his voice, replied, a little afraid by his actions, "All- all right."
Glad the Marauders weren't around, Severus and Lily left the common room and found their broom closet.
"Sev, you're breathing awfully heavily," Lily said, concerned. "You look a right mess. What's the matter?"
Before he would say anything, Severus engulfed Lily in a rib-crushing embrace. "I'm never, ever, ever going to let you go," he said, his voice raw and despondent. "Lily, I'm sorry, so sorry, for everything I've done."
His apology was all-encompassing. Severus wasn't just apologizing for his recent stubbornness and coldness. He was sorry for his rejection and betrayal of her in his past life, which had ultimately led to her death, and coming fact-to-face with Voldemort today had reminded him of how precious Lily was to him. He would not lose her. Not again.
Not ever.
Feeling Lily's arms come around him and holding him just as tightly, he thought his heart might give out when she breathed into his ear, "There's nothing to forgive, Sev. Didn't I tell you I'd never leave you? I meant that, Sev; I meant that."
