Author's Note: If you haven't done so already, please also read a one-shot I wrote today called His Dawn in Darkness. If you like Severus, you'll like it. Happy New Year, everyone!
Chapter Forty-Eight
"You are sure you'll be okay?" Severus asked for the third time.
"Yes, Severus, I promise you," Tobias replied adamently. "I'll behave this time."
Severus gazed at his father quizzically, only half-convinced, but what good would further arguing do? He had picked Tobias up from the rehabilitation facility only an hour ago, and now they were back at Tobias's old apartment.
An awkward silence fell between them.
"Well, I won't be seeing you until Christmas, then," Severus said, making his way toward the door.
"Severus-"
"Yes?" Severus said, stopping in the doorframe.
"I- I can't thank you enough for... for everything," Tobias choked.
Severus tried to keep his face impassive, his demeanor cool and calm, but his chest clenched despite his best efforts. He mentally cursed himself, then forced a smile.
"Yes, well... don't let it be a waste," Severus said gruffly, stepping out into the hallway. He closed the door after him and quickly exited the building. Wanting to return home as quickly as possible, Severus found a deserted alley and Apparated directly into his sitting room.
Heaving a sigh of relief, he collapsed onto the couch and threw his head back, resting it on the cushions. He pinched the bridge of his nose. He couldn't afford to become too emotionally attached to his father; he just couldn't... not after everything that had happened. Grateful to be returning to Hogwarts tomorrow, Severus hoped his father would be safe, as he had personally set some wards around Tobias's flat, but more than that, he hoped Tobias wouldn't resort to drinking again. If he did, he would lose his apartment, his safehaven, and on the streets, his life would be endangered in more than one way.
You can't claim responsibility for the actions of others, Severus told himself. You can only do the best you can for them and hope they don't mess it up.
This had been a hard lesson for Severus to learn. In this life, he had already tried to save his mother and had blamed himself for months afterward for her death, but seeing the choices his father had made, he knew better than to blame himself for any relapse Tobias might have. Severus wondered how he might use his knowledge from his previous life in regards to others, especially someone like Peter Pettigrew, who had betrayed the Potters and joined the Dark Lord without anyone knowing. As much as Severus hoped to stay uninvolved in this war, he had a sinking feeling that was as impossible as the Chudley Canons winning the World Cup.
Later that day, Lily and he took one last walk through the old park, reminiscing about their younger years. Holding hands, they strolled past the abandonned swings, the overgrown bushes Severus had hidden behind, and into their favorite spot of green among the trees. The brook babbled softly in the background as they found solace under a sturdy maple tree, and Lily leaned against Severus's shoulder. He held her close and felt his eyelids grow heavy. He fell into a light sleep for a few minutes, dreaming about what seventh year would be like. He was awakened out of his reverie by Lily's voice.
"Sev?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you feeling any better about being appointed Head Boy?" she queried.
He shrugged. In the past few days, the idea had somewhat grown on him, and Severus found it was really the least of his concerns. "I suppose," he muttered. "At least we get our own private rooms."
"Yes, that'll be nice," Lily mused.
Her hand roamed slowly to his side and then under his shirt, snaking its way across his stomach and up to his chest. For a moment, Severus tensed, elated by her touch, but unaccustomed to physical touch there. It was ridiculous, he knew, but any time Lily had tried to get more physical with him during the past few months, he had awkwardly stopped it, telling her that kissing, holding hands, and feeling over clothes was as far as he would go. The nearly forty-year-old man inside him still felt it somehow wrong to violate a seventeen-year-old girl.
Lily giggled and then tickled him. Severus let out something between a squawk and a huff, embarrassed she had found his most sensitive spot. No one knew that Severus Snape was ticklish, after all.
"Lily, stop that!" he exclaimed indignantly.
"Oh, don't be such a spoil sport, Sev!" Lily retorted. "Have a little fun!"
"What if- what if someone sees us?" he sputtered.
"No one's going to come back here," Lily groused, rolling her eyes. "You really need to lighten up."
Smirking, Severus suddenly grabbed her foot and pulled her sock off. His long, deft fingers slowly moved across the ball of her foot, and then he tickled her with further intensity until Lily was absolutely squirming in his hands.
"Now who's ticklish?" he said silkily.
With a jerk, Lily tugged her foot out of his hands and lept on him like a cat pouching its prey. Severus hadn't been expecting this, and so, he was pinned to the ground, his arms above his head.
"I'm going to kiss you now," Lily stated matter-of-factly. Leaning in, her mouth grasped his with such ferocity, Severus wasted not a moment returning the favor. His hands were now on her back, massaging just under the shirt where her jeans' waistband was. He could blame it on hormones, but Severus and Lily made out on the green grass, their sacred spot, making a memory neither of them would forget.
The following morning, Severus rode with the Evanses to London to catch the Hogwarts Express. They said their goodbyes on the platform, and Severus and Lily stepped onto the train to head off to Hogwarts one last time.
Severus didn't see the Marauders, and of course he didn't see his old Slytherin friends, as they had all be expelled the previous year. The ride was mostly uneventful and pleasant, and he had the compartment alone with Lily. They did, however, have to join the prefects at one point to go over helping the first years as they exited the train. Only then did Severus see Lupin, who gazed upon him with large eyes, no doubt surprised by Severus's appointment of Head Boy.
Much to Severus's dismay, Lupin approached him and said, "Congratulations, Severus. I see you've made Head Boy."
Severus glared suspiciously at Lupin and frowned. "What's it to you, Lupin?" And why are you addressing me by my first name? We aren't friends. Then again, you had the audacity to do so when you were a professor at Hogwarts before.
Lupin now frowned, too. "Can't you take a compliment?"
"I wasn't aware you were complimenting me," Severus replied truthfully. "I thought you were surprised in a negative way."
Severus wanted to kick himself for admitting as much.
"Well, it was a compliment, but take it how you like," Lupin said with a shrug. "As Head Boy, you will have to cooperate with the prefects from all the houses."
"I don't foresee a problem," Severus stated stiffly, stepping away and finding Lily.
"What was that all about?" she asked.
"Lupin trying to dish out compliments," Severus muttered.
"That was kind of him."
Severus crossed his arms and set his mouth in a firm line, refusing to comment further. He was glad to be off the train when they finally arrived at the Hogsmeade station. Following Lily, he stood with the prefects and waited for the first years to congregate in a messy crowd outside the train. They kept them in line until Hagrid took them to the boats, and then they joined the rest of the students on the thestral-drawn carriages to the castle. Severus was oblivious to the stares he was receiving through the whole process, and as he stepped out of a carriage and herded the younger students inside, he finally noticed a group of second or third year Hufflepuffs who kept glancing back at him.
"You're famous, Sev," Lily whispered into his ear, lightly teasing him.
"It's probably more the fact they can't believe I was made Head Boy," Severus mumbled.
When a Hufflepuff boy who was walking not too far out of ear-shot heard him, he exclaimed, "Oh, but it's just that you, er, you... Did you really escape from You-Know-Who's clutches last year?" he asked in awe.
Severus stopped walking, shocked. He forced himself to keep moving a moment later. The boy was giving him a look of admiration he had only ever seen directed at James Potter or Sirius Black. Never at him!
"Yes, that's right," Severus replied repressively. "Now, that's enough."
The boy joined his friends again, and Severus noticed they were whispering among themselves, and some of the girls were giggling and glancing back at him.
"See, Sev, you are famous," Lily quipped with a smile, taking hold of his arm as they entered the castle.
Upon his initial step into Hogwarts, Severus felt his seventh year at Hogwarts in this life would be unlike anything he had ever known before.
He was admired. He was famous. He was a leader.
