Thursday Afternoon

The pile of letters, small boxes and long stemmed roses sat in one corner of the apartment conveniently situated by the fireplace. They left the balcony door open so the owls could just fly through and left a dish of owl treats close at hand.

"Hermione, I'm getting a little tired of handing out memory loss charms all over the place. People are noticing that the square is filling up with owls," Grace observed.

"So let them notice." Hermione scooped some letters and made a statuesque pyramid of them in the hearth.

"I would were it not for one of our world's little obstacles - the need to keep our presence out of the muggle newspapers."

"Don't worry. They'll probably think it's a freak accident of nature." Hermione set a slow flame in the hearth. No bonfire for her. A part of her wanted to savor these moments.

Madeline fingered one of the envelopes - a long gold envelope trimmed in red attached to a long stemmed rose. "Severus was quite sorry, Hermione. I could just hear it in his voice."

"Do I care?" Hermione brutally tossed a bouquet of flowers into the fire.

"Aren't you at least going to open a letter or one of those gifts like that big box over there? It came about noon today." Madeline pointed to a large white box with a flamboyant red bow that was sitting on top of the dining room table.

"No. In fact, you two may have the gifts."

"You mean it?! Severus looked like he had great tastes. These presents have to be good." Madeline bounded over to the dining table. "Me first. I get the big one!"

"Isn't it time you talked to him?" Grace asked.

"I tried didn't I, at the restaurant? I looked for him at the theater. His one look froze my insides," Hermione admitted. "Then I tried again on the balcony but what did he do? He slammed AND locked the door on my face literally. I am cried out. I am through with him. I am free at last!"

"But didn't you listen when Miranda came by and tried to explain- " Grace persisted.

"That's not the point, Grace. It's not Miranda's fault. Severus didn't trust me." Hermione added a few more letters to the burning pile. "He jumped to the wrong conclusions."

"So did you."

"That's different. I at least tried to find him and talk to him. I tried to do the mature thing." Hermione sat by the fire poking the letters about. "I was dismissed. I was made to feel that I was of no account whatsoever. He made his feelings very clear when we were on the balcony."

"Don't you owe him a fair hearing? Just once?"

"I didn't get one. He was the judge, the jury and the executioner. I was judged guilty and sentenced even before the hearing."

"Admit it, you both let your emotions get the best of you," said Madeline removing what looked like an antique lamp from the box. "Funny as you're usually the one who tells me to be more-"

Her words ended in a yelp of surprise as a cloud of blue smoke rose out of an opening in the lamp. The smoke settled in a mass on the sofa and assumed the shape and outline of Severus Snape complete with long but wavy hair, black buttoned vest, high starched collar, black pants and black shoes.

"Finally, I was starting to develop a case of claustrophobia in there," it said. The ladies gaped. "What, haven't seen a phantasm before? Well, don't worry I am really not Severus Snape. Couldn't pay me all the galleons in Gringotts to be him. But I digress, I am simply assuming his form while I am contractually obligated to do so."

Hermione had been through many things during her years at Hogwarts and the war, but this was unique in her experience. Her mind rapidly brought up the definition of a phantasm - " An apparition which can be seen but has no corporeal reality. A phantasm was more than a poltergeist and less than a full ghost. An object that can take on the mental projections of a living entity." She had to admire Severus' ingenuity. He had found a way around her 100 meter ward. He had probably guessed that she had used something of his to allow the ward to identify his presence other than by sight. So, he sends a phantasm in his place. "How long is your contract?"

"Oh, he elected the maximum time period, miss - 24 hours from the time I was released plus a nice bonus too if I could start right away. I have rather fancy tastes so of course I left my other-"

"What are the other terms of this contract?"

The phantasm tapped his lips lost in thought then counted off his terms on his fingers. "Let me see. I was supposed to take his appearance. It's not too bad really. The height is good. He's not grossly flabby either. Do you like what I did to my hair? I just could not stand it hanging over my face like his does. It reminds me of my last job as a stand-in-place guard in Gulliver's-"

"What else?" Hermione sat down and looked at the phantasm. "There has to be more to this."

"Oh, yes. I was supposed to keep you company so you wouldn't forget about him. I was to make sure you read as many of the letters as possible. I was supposed to emphasize all his good points. There was one more thing but I have such a bad memory."

"Whatever he's paying you, I'll double it. Just get out."

"Sorry, a contract is a contract. Very binding. I'd get thrown out of the union for breech of contract. Nothing is worth that."

"So, you hang around here for the next 24 hours?" asked Madeline. "Might be fun having a man around."

"As to that, no. Where Ms. Granger goes, I go."

"You have got to be kidding?" Hermione sat back on the couch her eyes wide with disbelief.

"No, the terms of the contract were very specific. My boss said that Snape was quite a negotiator. Guess he wanted his money's worth. Considering my rates I completely understand."

"Your rates are very high then?" asked Grace.

"You are looking at the best, THE best in the business. I have no peer. None." The phantasm preened. "I've won awards."

"Any we've heard about?" asked Madeline.

"Well, no. I didn't mean really big awards. Just industry stuff, you know. They're the ones that really matter," the phantasm sniffed.

"I cannot have you around. This is intolerable!" Hermione shot out of the sofa and began to pace.

"That's exactly what he said you would say," said the phantasm. "Where are my manners? I know who you all are but you don't know who I am. The name is Guido, Guido St. John, very pleased to make your acquaintance Ms. Granger. How would you like me to address you?"

"Guido?" Grace couldn't contain her laughter.

"The name sounded exotic. Sue me. Someone was already registered at the union under my real name Alfred. And George and Wallace were taken too. So, Guido I became."

"You may not address me as anything at all." Hermione fairly snarled. She scooped up another handful of letters and tossed them into the fire. "You are not staying."

"He did say you were going to be difficult and I was not to be intimidated. It's in my contract."

"Did he now?" Hermione rounded on the phantasm. Guido flinched but only a little. He was a professional after all. She brandished her wand menacingly. "You are going back into that lamp right now. It will be sent back to whence it came. Otherwise I will have no choice-"

"You know you do that intimidating bit really well. I see you've picked up pointers from Snape." Guido relaxed into the sofa full length with his hands crossed behind his head. "I'd be really scared if I were less experienced in the business or if I wasn't already more scared of Snape than I am of you."

"What makes you think I wouldn't do something worse to you?" asked Hermione taken aback by Guido's nonchalance.

"You just don't have that "don't mess with me" aura that he does. And his reputation for the Dark Arts is real not some paper diploma from some fly by night school. I have no desire to test his practical experience."

"I will not put up with this. This is harassment! Borderline stalking!" Hermione's hands curled into claws. She desperately wanted to strangle Guido and especially the man who sent him here. "Where do I file a lawsuit?"

"Look I just want to fulfill the terms of my contract. By 5 PM tomorrow I will be out of here."

Hermione looked at Guido lounging back on the sofa. Guido may look like Snape but he didn't have his voice she thought. If I don't hear his voice, I should be able to bare this ridiculous situation. Besides, she couldn't remember any spells to use against a phantasm. She had too much homework left to do leaving no time to research the matter properly. "All right, Guido, you may stay but only until the term of your contract expires and not a second more. You may address me as Hermione."

"Thank you, Hermione. I'll do my best to not get in anyone's way." He sat up and shook her hand. For Hermione there was no actual hand but she did feel a slight tingle as their hands touched.

"By the way, could I have you three wonderful ladies fill out my evaluation form at the end of my contract period? Just some questions on how well I fulfilled the contract and things like that."

"Your boss sounds very strict, Guido," said Madeline.

"You don't know the half of it," Guido responded. "In this biz, you're only as good as your last contract."

"Well, you look enough like him. But I have to grade you less because you don't sound anything like him," Grace added.

Guido stood up suddenly as if a lightning bolt had exploded in his lithe body. "That's it! That's the other thing I forgot. I'm supposed to sound like him. You'll just have to mark me off for diction. " Guido cleared his throat. He braved an arrogant pose. The next words out of his mouth were vintage Snape - low silky with just a hint of a growl. "Well, ladies, here I am and all yours. How may I be of service?"

"That's perfect!" Madeline clapped her hands.

A rhythmic thumping sound was coming from the fireplace. Hermione Granger was pounding her head on the mantel. The words echoed over and over in her mind - I am in hell.