It was a typical Sunday, we had all slept in that morning and had a late breakfast. Mom made her famous blueberry pancakes. After breakfast I remembered that I was going to need some new school stuff because school was starting the week after next, I was going to be a sophomore in high school. "Hey mom, can we going shopping today? I need some new stuff for school and probably some new clothing too." I asked. I saw a large smile spread a crossed her face, we loved shopping together. "Of course we can sweetheart, and I bet if we ask nicely enough we can convince Phil to come with us to help carry our bags" Mom giggled as she turned and pouted to Phil. I followed suit and did the same, he was powerless against the double pout. Putting his hands up, Phil says very dramatically "I give up, anything but the double pout!" That earns a giggle from both my mom and I. After cleaning up the breakfast dished and getting dressed and ready we piled into my mom's car and head out to the mall.
It had been a wonderful day. I had gotten a ton of new clothing as well as several pairs of new shoes and all the school supplies that I needed. I also got a couple new books, including Wuthering Heights and Pride and Prejudice. After a wonderful day of shopping we decided to have an early dinner at our favorite Mexican restaurant and then some ice cream on the way home. As we were headed home I was in the back seat with my attention drifting between my chocolate ice cream cone and starting to read one of my new books. I would occasionally look up to see what my mom or Phil were doing. I was so engrossed in my new book that when it happened my mind took longer than normal to react. One moment I had my face buried in Wuthering Heights with my mom in the front seat laughing at something that Phil said and the next moment was filled with the sounds of screeching tires, screams, shattered glass and the crunch of metal.
I must of passed out because the next thing I remember was my world being turned upside down, literally. I was still buckled into the back seat but the car was upside down. My ears were ringing and there was a high pitch screeching sound coming from somewhere. It took me a moment to realize that it was coming from me, I was screaming and I had not even realized it. It takes a few more minutes for my mind to catch up with what had happened and what was going on around me. Looking in front of me I tried to see if my mom and Phil were ok but my view was blocked by all the shopping bags that had shifted when the car flipped. I try to use my left arm to move the bags out of the way, but my arm would not respond. There was a dull pain in my left shoulder that seemed to be becoming more and more painful as my mind cleared. I tried to yell form my mom but my voice was weak from screaming and barely just a whisper now. I could hear sirens in the distance and part of my brain we relived that help was on the way, but I could feel my consciousness slipping and black spots started to fill my vision. The last thing I remember was the sound of someone opening the back car door and a gentle voice trying to comfort me before I blacked out.
Beep...beep...beep...beep...
'What is that annoying beeping sound?' I thought to myself. Thinking for a moment that it must be my alarm clock I try to open my eyes so I can turn it off, but I cant seem to be able to open them.
Beep...beep...beep...beep...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you are first waking up from a deep sleep were your mind is awake but your body refuses to acknowledged the fact that it needs to wake too? Its pretty damn scary. Its like your locked in a world of perpetual darkness, but you can hear whats going on around you in the waking world.
Beep...beep...beep...beep
After I lost count of the omnipresent beeping sound I slowly started to feel the darkness fading away. The constant pressure that seemed to be weighing me down started to go, but it was replaced with a dull pain and the knowledge that there was something I was forgetting. Something important.
Beep...beep...beep...beep...
Finally, I started to be able to feel my body waking. I cracked my eyes open, but immediately shut them. It was too damn bright. Trying again but slower this time, I took in my surroundings. It took me a moment to recognize that I was in a hospital room. 'What am I doing here?' I thought to myself. Did I trip and fall again? No, thats not it...why cant I remember. After a minute or two of thinking on this the memories of the accident came flooding back to me. With the knowledge of what had happened, but having no clue were my mom or Phil were or if they were ok I started to hyperventilate and my heart rate spiked (according to the machines attached to me). One of the machines attached to me started sending off an alarm and moments later someone came running into the room. I guess she was a nurse or something, but I was so absorbed with what had happened and worried about my mom and Phil to notice.
"Ms. Swan you need to calm down, please." The nurse said. As I looked up at her I could feel tears streaming down my face. "Where...where's m...my...mom?" I was able to meekly chock out, my voice was just above a whisper and weak. I could see the expression on the nurse's face change from caring to saddened and I knew in an instant that it was not good. "I'm so sorry sweetheart, but she did not make it..." This can not be happening, this can not be happening I chant over and over in my head. I felt detached from my body, this is a dream right? No its a nightmare, I'll wake up any second and be safe in my bed at home and my mom will be alive and safe as well.
The nurse had continued to talk but I was unaware of what she was saying until she said "...and your dad will be here soon." There was a ray of hope, Phil survived. "Ph..Phil is ok?" I said. The nurse looked at me questioningly for a moment then said "Oh, no I'm sorry, Mr. Dwyer did not make it as well. I was speaking about your biological father, I believe his name is Charles or Charlie. Yes, Charlie Swan." I could feel my face fall again, I knew nothing about him other than he used to be a drunk and was mean to my mom. "I...I don't know him" My voice was at a whisper again. "Well he is the only one listed as next of ken. I'm sure everything will be fine. Now I'm going to give you something for pain, it will make you a bit sleepy." The nurse said as she injected something into my IV. My mind was still reeling over the lose of my mom, the only father I have ever known and the fact that my bio dad was coming to get me when the medicine started to kick in. Everything started to get blurry and fade into darkness. My last coherent thoughts were of my mom and hoping that is was in a better place with Phil forever by her side.
