Warehouse
"Alright girls," Carly said as she poured a large bowl of brownie batter into a baking pan. "We just need to wait thirty-five minutes and we'll have ourselves some delicious brownies."
"Why do we have to wait?" Sam and Freddie's seven-year old daughter, Emma, asked, reaching her hand into the bowl and scooping out some leftover batter.
"Because the brownies have to bake," Carly explained.
"How come?" Emma's twin, Ashton asked.
"Yeah," Carly's own daughter, Clarissa, asked. "Why mommy?"
"Um…because that's how brownie's work," Carly replied lamely. "I mean you don't want to eat them now, do you guys? They're just goo right now."
"I like the goo," Emma said simply, reaching her hand into the bowl again. "Can I lick the bowl, Aunt Carly?"
"Well…I guess so," Carly agreed. "Your parents will be back here soon anyway; they're the ones who will have to deal with the sugar rush. Besides, your mom used to do the same thing all the time when we used to bake when we were younger. This one time when were about sixteen, your mom actually ate an entire bowl of cake batter and tub of frosting. Your dad went crazy because he had been baking the cake for some AV club fundraiser, but your mom wound up stuffing some of the frosting down his shirt and, well…I'll let them tell you how it ended."
"Mommy did that to daddy yesterday," Ashton said.
"Wait, what?" Carly frowned. "She shoved icing down his shirt?"
"Uh-huh," Emma nodded. "Daddy said icing wasn't a healthy snack and mommy called him a nub."
"She got icing all over him," Ashton continued. "And then daddy got mad so he poured applesauce on her."
"And then mommy put spaghetti sauce on him," Emma told her.
"That's pretty messy," Carly cringed. "That must've took forever to clean up."
"Uh-huh," Ashton said. "But first they had to take a nap."
"A nap?" Carly repeated.
"Yeah," Emma said. "After they dumped all the food on each other they whispered to each other and then daddy drove us to Quincy's house because he said him and mommy were really tired and had to take a nap before they could clean up the mess."
"Of course," Carly said, rolling her eyes.
"Mommy?" Clarissa said. "How come you and daddy don't ever have food fights like Aunt Sam and Uncle Freddie?"
"Because, sweetie," Carly explained. "Your daddy and I have an, er, different relationship from Emma and Ashton's parents."
Just then, the front door swung open and Sam and Freddie themselves walked in.
"Hey, I smell brownies," Sam said at once. "You all better have saved me some."
"They're in the oven," Carly replied.
"That's okay," Sam shrugged. "Where's the batter?"
"In your daughter's stomach," Carly grinned.
"The batter is my favorite," Emma beamed, looking up at her parents with a chocolate-covered face.
"Well, there goes any chance of them going to bed before midnight," Freddie sighed.
"Well you should be well rested," Carly said. "From what I hear, you two had a nice little nap after that food fight of yours yesterday."
"Oh," Freddie said, his face turning red. "Er…right."
"So how did traffic court go?" Carly asked. "Did you get that ticket waived?"
"You mean that ticket that was unfairly given to me for apparently parking by a fire hydrant when said fire hydrant was completely blocked from view by some mime street performance?" Freddie said bitterly.
"Yeah, that one."
"Oh, I got it waived," Freddie said. "That's two hundred bucks the city won't get unfairly from this guy. I told you, if I just presented my case rationally, there'd be no way that any traffic judge would-"
"Oh get off your high horse, Benson," Sam cut in. She turned to Carly. "Frednub here tried to be all smart and technical with the judge, but the guy still didn't budge. I'm the one who got chiz done."
"What did you do?" Carly asked.
"I politely told the judge that if he didn't waive the ticket, I'd have some of my cousins who are getting out of prison next week stop my his golf course and pay him a visit," Sam said simply.
"You threatened a judge?" Carly exclaimed, her eyes widening. "Sam! Do you know how illegal that is?"
"That's what I told her!" Freddie agreed.
"Oh come on, I wouldn't have done it if the judge looked like he had a backbone," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "I could tell from the second I looked at the doof that he'd be easy to manipulate. And I'm always right about these things, aren't I, Carls? Remember when we were kids and Freddie moved in across the hall and I said that he looked like a total spaz?"
"You're married to that spaz," Freddie pointed out.
"I know," Sam said, giving him a quick kiss. "And I love you. But that doesn't change how spazzy you are, baby."
Emma and Ashton both laughed.
"Ha, ha," Freddie said dryly. "I'll have you know I'm pretty good at pegging people I first meet too. Heck, when I first met you, I thought that you-"
Sam rose an eyebrow. "Yes?"
"Er…I thought you looked like a delightful girl who I hoped I'd be lucky enough to spend the rest of my life with," Freddie said quickly. "And-And look how right I was!"
"Nice save," Sam smirked.
Freddie looked down at his watch. "Oh, we should get going. We have to stop by my mom's so the kids can try on those wool sweaters she's been working on."
"Grandma's sweaters are itchy, daddy," Ashton commented.
"I know, I know," Freddie sighed. "But remember what I told you guys about dealing with grandma."
"She's old and crazy?" Emma said.
"No, that's what mommy says about her," Freddie said, turning to Sam and giving her a look. "And I thought we had a talk about that."
"Doesn't mean I listened," Sam muttered under her breath.
"Look, like I've told everybody, grandma just likes taking care of people," Freddie said. "Even if she comes off a bit, well…"
"Crazy?" Sam suggested.
"Alright, how about this?" Freddie said, rolling his eyes. "You guys all try on the sweaters without complaining and I'll give you each five dollars."
"Ten!" Emma said at once.
"You taught her to haggle?" Freddie frowned, looking over at Sam.
"No, she picked that up on her own," Sam said, impressed. "Good girl, Em."
"Fine, ten bucks," Freddie conceded. "Now where are your brothers? If we're not there soon grandma will track us down with the chip again."
"Tyler's taking a nap over on the couch," Carly said, nodding over to the three-year old who was knocked out on the sofa in the living room. "And Jason's upstairs watching T.V. in the guest room. I asked him if he wanted to bake brownies with us but he said eleven-year olds don't bake."
"Oh yeah, he's going through that phase where he thinks he's older than he really is," Sam said. "You know he wouldn't even walk with me at the mall yesterday when I took him shopping for new shoes? He had to walk ten steps ahead of me the whole time so people wouldn't think we were together! I should ground him for that…"
"You can't ground him, baby," Freddie said, putting an arm around her. "He's just growing up. You know he still loves you and this is only a phase."
"I know," Sam sighed. "But it's a sucky one."
She walked over to the couch and picked up Tyler. "At least this son still wants to be seen with his mom."
"Girls, go get your brother so we can go," Freddie told the twins.
"Hey, you guys are still cool with Clarissa sleeping over tonight, right?" Carly asked as the twins scrambled upstairs.
"Oh yeah, of course we are," Sam nodded. "Drop her off at six. And Clarissa, make sure you're hungry; we're going out to The Cheesecake Warehouse."
"We're celebrating Sam's ban from the place lifting," Freddie explained. "Hopefully now she knows not to shove cheesecake down fellow diners' pants."
"That lady had it coming," Sam defended as the twins returned downstairs with Jason.
"Wait, we're going to The Cheesecake Warehouse?" Jason frowned. "Together? What if someone from school sees me?"
"So what if they do?" Freddie shrugged.
"No kid my age goes out to eat with his parents!" Jason moaned. "That's totally embarrassing!"
"Hey!" Sam defended. "I know your dad's embarrassing but what the heck do I do?"
"I'm not embarrassing!" Freddie frowned.
"Please!" Sam retorted. "You're the king of-"
"Okay, I've officially lost track of all your arguments in the past ten minutes," Carly said, cutting her off. "I'll see you in a little bit when I drop Clarissa off then. I'll be sure to send some of the brownies we made with her."
"Sweet," Sam said happily, turning towards the door. "See you later, Carls."
"Bye, Carly," Freddie said, heading out after his wife with Jason at his heels.
"Bye Clarissa," Emma said.
"See you at the sleepover!" Ashton said excitedly.
"Bye," Clarissa echoed as the Benson family filed out of the house.
"Sometimes I can't understand how Sam and Freddie manage to get anything done in all the chaos that must go on in that house," Carly chuckled to herself, turning on the sink to begin washing the dirty brownie dishes. "Most of which is probably caused by them. Man…those two are really something, aren't they, Clarissa?"
Clarissa didn't respond.
"I mean, I used to think that they'd grow out of their little arguments," Carly chuckled. "But it looks like I was wrong."
"Mommy?" Clarissa asked suddenly. "Do Aunt Sam and Uncle Freddie love each other?"
"Huh?" Carly frowned. "Of course they do. Why would you ask that, sweetie?"
"Because you said they fight and argue all the time," Clarissa explained. "And Emma and Ashton say their mommy and daddy always do that stuff too. I thought if you loved someone, you don't do that."
"Oh honey, I promise, Aunt Sam and Uncle Freddie love each other very much," Carly assured her. "Their arguments, well, they're not really arguments. See, Sam and Freddie just like messing with each other and going back and forth like that. That's sort of their thing. It's how they show the other that they love them. It's weird, I know, but trust me, it's actually sort of sweet in its own strange way."
"But how come you and daddy don't argue all the time like them?" Clarissa asked. "Don't you guys love each other?"
"Yes, we do," Carly nodded. "Your dad and I love each other just as much as Sam and Freddie love each other. Daddy and I, well, we just have a different way of showing it."
Clarissa still looked confused.
"Clarissa, you know I've been friends with Sam and Freddie since I was about your age," Carly said. "And in all that time, they've been exactly like they are now. In fact, it would be strange if they started acting differently. But Sam and Freddie are one of the happiest couples I've seen. They love each other; no matter how dysfunctional they may act."
"Really?" Clarissa asked.
"Really," Carly promised. "Look, all couples are different. You'll see when you get older. But as long as they have that love…that's all that matters."
She put an arm around her daughter. "You'll learn soon enough…trying to understand those twos' relationship is impossible. Sometimes, it's best to just let them go along doing their thing and not questioning it. Otherwise, you wind up driving yourself insane."
