Neat
"Man, I can't believe we spent all day unpacking and we didn't even finish," Sam yawned, looking around the room, which was covered with cardboard boxes. "Who knew this would take so long."
"Well maybe if you had actually helped, we'd be further along," Freddie said, looking up from the bookshelf he was attempting to put together.
"I helped!" Sam defended. "I moved all your Galaxy Wars stuff down to the storage unit."
"You what?"
"Well baby, I'm not living in some dorkified apartment," Sam said, rolling her eyes.
"But I spent an hour putting up your zombie posters!" Freddie pointed out.
"Yes, because those are cool," Sam said simply.
"So is my NugNug action figure!"
"Look," Sam said, stepping over to her boyfriend. "Would you like to spend our first day of us living together fighting? Or would you like to maybe find something else to do?"
"Hmmm," Freddie smiled, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her closer. "Something else?"
"We did manage to get the bedroom finished," Sam said, raising an eyebrow suggestively.
"Of course we did," Freddie chuckled. "It's the most important room in this place."
"So why don't we go break it in?"
Freddie leaned down and kissed her deeply. "I like the way you think, Puckett."
…..
"I think I'm gonna like this arrangement," Freddie said later that evening, as he lay on his and Sam's bed in their new bedroom, his girlfriend in his arms. "Us living together…it's gonna be amazing."
"Yeah, this could work out real nice," Sam grinned as Freddie kissed her temple. "Now go make me something to eat."
"I'd love to, but none of the kitchen stuff is unpacked yet," Freddie replied.
"What? Are you kidding?"
"Again, if you had helped with the unpacking…"
"Ugh, not this again," Sam said, shaking her head as she grabbed her phone. "Whatever, I'll just order something. You in for wings?"
"Nah, I'm fine," Freddie yawned. "I have to be at work early tomorrow so I think I'm just gonna shower and get to sleep."
"Alright, more for me," Sam said as Freddie slid out of bed.
"Like you wouldn't have just eaten mine," Freddie grinned.
"True," Sam agreed.
"Hey, did you see where I put the box with all the bathroom stuff in it?" Freddie asked, looking around the room.
"I thought we already established that I didn't contribute to this whole move-in process," Sam said. "Why would I know? Why don't you check that box by the bathroom?"
"Oh, right," Freddie said, kneeling down by the box next to the adjoining bathroom. "Ah-ha, here we go."
He pulled out a large plastic case.
"Um, what is that?" Sam frowned.
"My tooth brushing kit," Freddie replied,
Sam snorted. "Oh my God."
"What?" Freddie said. "This is a dentist-approved kit! I have my extra-strength toothpaste, my toothbrush, tonguebrush, and gumbrush, my molar polish, my fluoride-laced floss, my-"
"Aw, baby," Sam laughed. "Your mom has really damaged you, hasn't she?"
"What's wrong with taking pride in my dental hygiene?" Freddie asked.
"That case is bigger than your head!" Sam pointed out.
"Well when one of us still has all their teeth in twenty years, we'll see who's laughing," Freddie said, rolling his eyes.
"Wait, how come I never saw this nerd kit before?" Sam asked. "You know, when you slept over at my old place?"
"Well I can rough it for a few nights at a time," Freddie shrugged.
"So how long does it even take you to get through your little dental hygiene routine?" Sam snorted.
"Approximately twenty-six minutes," Freddie answered promptly. "Twenty-eight if I use my plaque dissolving mouthwash instead of just the plaque reducing kind."
"Dude!" Sam chuckled. "You realize how insane that is? You've probably spent half you life playing with your teeth by now!"
"Ha, ha," Freddie said dryly. "Now are you done mocking me so I can get to brushing?"
"Yeah, sure, I'd hate to waste any of your time," Sam said. "Especially your precious toothpaste time."
"You gonna keep making fun of this forever?" Freddie asked, rolling his eyes.
"Not forever," Sam told him. "But I've got at least another week with this material."
…
The next day, Freddie yawned as he walked through the door of his and Sam's apartment.
"Hey Sam, I'm home," Freddie called out, taking a moment to realize how nice those words felt rolling off his tongue. "So I'm thinking I'd finish up that bookshelf and get the rest of the living room unpacked tonight. I'm just gonna need you to show me how to use a hammer, though…I've never really been one to know how to use tools and-what are you doing?"
Sam was in the middle of the living room, standing perfectly straight on her head.
"You mind keeping it down, Frednub?" Sam asked. "You're kind of killing the yoga vibe."
"The what vibe?"
"Yoga," Sam repeated.
"Um…okay," Freddie said. "Since when do you do yoga?"
"I've always done yoga," Sam told him.
"Well I never knew."
"Well excuse me for not sending out announcements," Sam said, kicking her feet back down and standing upright.
"I mean you just don't seem like, well, the yoga type," Freddie said as he watched his girlfriend bend all the way backwards into a perfect wheel position. "Yoga is just so-so…peaceful and-and relaxing. And, um, no offense, Sam, you've never really been one for peaceful and relaxing activities. You like screaming at MMA fights and pranking people and causing chaos."
"Well a few years ago, when you and Carly started giving me a hard time for all my stints in Juvie, I figured I should find a new way to get all the stress you cause me out of my system," Sam explained.
"The stress I cause you?" Freddie said, raising an eyebrow.
"Your nubbishness is a lot to deal with," Sam said simply. "Anyway, I've always been pretty flexible, so I thought I'd give yoga a shot. And it's actually not as lame as you'd think. I do it everyday after work."
"Really?"
"Uh-huh," Sam nodded. "That's why I told you to leave space in here while you were unpacking yesterday."
"Huh…" Freddie said. "Well, um, okay then. This has been…interesting. I guess I'll go take a quick shower while you finish yogaing."
"Okay," Sam said. "Oh, I have a frozen pizza in the oven. It should be done by the time you get out."
"Sounds good," Freddie said, loosening his tie as he watched Sam bend back down, silently thinking to himself that he'd need to take a very cold shower.
…
"I really hope Spencer likes his surprise dinner we planned for him," Carly said a few days later as she sat on the sofa in Sam and Freddie's living room. "I mean it's not everyday he gets featured in Sculptor's Bi-Monthly."
"Yeah, that's so cool," Sam nodded, walking over and lifting a pile of magazines from the coffee table and looking under them.
"You looking for something?" Carly asked.
"Yeah, my car keys," Sam said. "I have to run and grab some more bacon for breakfast tomorrow morning before the store closes. Freddie's mom was over here this morning and she threw a perfectly good pack of the stuff away during one of her inspections."
"You really should learn to keep better track of those," Carly said. "I mean you misplaced them all the time back at our old place before you moved in here with Freddie. Hey, speaking of which, how have things been going with that? Its been almost a full week of you two living together."
"Oh, it's going really great," Sam said, pausing in her search. "I think it was just the step we needed to take in our relationship."
"Good," Carly smiled. "Because I've got to tell you, I was a little worried when you guys told me you were moving in together. I was sort of afraid you'd start to irritate each other or something."
"Carls, it's Freddie," Sam smirked. "Of course he irritates me. But I've been used to that for the past six years of us dating."
"So things are really fine then?"
"Yeah," Sam said, a grin creeping onto her face. "You know every morning he wakes up early just to make me breakfast in bed? And after he takes a shower, he always leaves me these cute little messages on the mirror in the steam. And we have this new thing at night; right before we go to bed we watch this hilarious show we found. It's called Bare and Abandoned. It's this show on the Nature Network where they just drop people off naked and confused in the wild and see how long they can manage out there!"
"That sounds horrible," Carly commented.
"But you know," Sam continued. "This past week…I think I actually learned a lot about Fredwash."
"What do you mean?" Carly asked, curious. "You guys have known each other practically your whole lives. You've dated for the past six years. Was there really that much left to learn?"
"Apparently," Sam chuckled. "You know when Freddie puts on his socks in the morning, he has to put on his left one first? And when he pours milk into his cereal he first puts in a little bit of cereal into the bow, pours the milk and then adds more cereal? And he has this little rhyme he says to himself each time he loads the dishwasher. It's actually kind of cute. It goes: First we put the dishes in, then we load up on the soap. And if we see a single spot, we wash again with all we've got. I think his mom taught it to him or something."
"Wow," Carly said. "I guess living with a person will really tell you a lot about them."
"Yup," Sam nodded. "Looks like I'm gonna be getting used to all of Fredbutt's little habits and quirks. Hopefully he hasn't picked up too much from his mom, though, because the second he tries to give me a tick bath, I'm ending it."
"Sounds reasonable," Carly laughed just as the front door of the apartment opened and Freddie himself walked in.
"Is it paranoid for me to think that our new doorman might be related to Lewbert?" Freddie asked as Sam got to her feet to give him a quick kiss. "I mean I walked past him and I noticed he had a wart on his neck the size of a marble!"
"Maybe it's a doorman thing," Carly reasoned. "I hear it's a pretty stressful job."
"Yeah, and speaking of stressful, you realize your mom tossed my bacon this morning when she was over here?" Sam said to Freddie.
"Baby, she had just found out we were living together," Freddie chuckled. "Be thankful that's all she did."
"Yeah, well, now I have to go and buy some more," Sam said. "And I can't find my dang keys! I swear, I had them when I got back from work yesterday and then I-"
"Oh, they're right here on the key hanger," Freddie said, stepping over to a small hook next to the front door where, sure enough, Sam's keys were hanging.
"Huh? How'd they get there?" Sam frowned. "And since when do we have a key hanger?"
"Oh, well I've just noticed that you tend to misplace your keys a lot," Freddie shrugged. "So I thought I'd go ahead and get that for you to maybe help you out."
"Huh…" Sam said thoughtfully. "You know, that's not a bad idea. This could be kind of useful…"
"I do what I can," Freddie smiled, giving her another quick kiss.
"That's why I keep you around," Sam grinned back, grabbing her keys from the hook. "Alright, well, I'm gonna go grab that bacon before we have to go meet Spencer at the restaurant. I'll be back in a few minutes. You know how convenient it's going to be having the grocery store right across the street?"
"Something tells me we're gonna need to buy a second fridge," Freddie sighed as Sam headed out of the apartment, closing the door behind her.
"Yeah, probably," Carly agreed as Freddie sat down in the armchair. "So, your mom officially knows your and Sam are living together now? How'd she take that?"
"Well," Freddie began. "She yelled that her precious son was being corrupted by a horrible hoodlum…that would be Sam."
"Yeah, I pieced that together," Carly nodded.
"And then she demanded to know why we had only bought one bed for the bedroom," Freddie continued, rolling his eyes. "And she ended the visit by sanitizing the whole place…and me."
"That's actually a pretty reasonable reaction," Carly said. "You know, for your insane mom."
"I know," Freddie smiled. "I'm impressed."
"So what about you?"
"What about me?" Freddie asked.
"Well how are you adjusting to this whole new living arrangement?" Carly asked.
"You know, Carly," Freddie said, leaning back in his seat. "I'm starting to wonder how I've gone the past twenty-three years not living with Sam."
"Aw," Carly said. "That's sweet. So Sam's not driving you crazy?"
"Of course she is," Freddie said. "But that's Sam. That's what I love about her."
"I don't think I'll ever understand you two," Carly said, shaking her head. "But hey, whatever it is you guys have, it's sure working."
"I mean, it's crazy," Freddie went on. "Sam and I have dated for six whole years, but this past week it's like I've-"
"-Found out so much more about her?" Carly finished knowingly.
"Er, yeah," Freddie nodded. "How'd you-"
"Call it a hunch," Carly laughed. "What kind of things have you found out about Sam? I mean I was her previous roommate. We can compare Sam notes."
"Well…you know she can't sleep unless she has this lucky pillowcase on her pillow?" Freddie said. "It's this red one with green polka-dots…it's the ugliest thing I've ever seen, but Sam insists that she can't sleep at all unless it's under her head."
"Huh…I didn't know that," Carly said.
"And when she wakes up in the morning, she lays in bed for at least five minutes reciting all the names of all the fighters in the MMA because she says when she gets all old, she wants to make sure she never loses that ability," Freddie added.
"Didn't know that either," Carly said.
"Or when she eats pretzels, she likes to sort them by salt content," Freddie said. "Of course it doesn't really matter because she winds up dumping even more salt on them, but still, it's sort of cute."
"Wow," Carly smirked. "Looks like you guys have really picked up on a lot. I wonder how much more you'll learn about each other once you've spent even more time together under the same roof."
"Who knows," Freddie said. "But I can't wait to find out."
"Alright, I'm back!" Sam suddenly announced, coming back into the apartment carrying a large paper bag.
"Is all that bacon?" Freddie asked. "I thought you were getting a pack?"
"Well now that I know that your mom isn't above throwing away my precious meats, I have to be prepared for another attack," Sam said. "Oh, but hey, I did pick up one other thing. I got you this tiny tube of model glue from the craft aisle. I noticed one of the little conductors from your train sets had a broken arm this morning so I thought you could use it."
"Sweet, I was running low on the stuff!" Freddie said excitedly as Sam tossed him the glue. "Alright, now I've got myself a new weekend project!"
"Watch it, nub, or the trains will be down in the storage unit soon too," Sam said, rolling her eyes.
