Campaign
"-And after Napoleon was banished to the island of Elba in the year 1814," the iCarly trio's history teacher, Mr. Bompe, droned on, looking down at his stack of notes. "He escaped and landed on the French mainland. Now this return was marked by-"
"Hey, does anybody else notice that giant booger in Mr. Bompe's nose?" Sam whispered, turning around to face Carly and Freddie, who were both busily taking notes. "It's the size of that gumball I got last week. You know, the one from that machine at the movie theater with-"
"Do you mind?" Freddie hissed. "Some of us are trying to learn here!"
"Gross," Sam cringed. "Anyway, I bet you ten bucks if this guys sneezes right now, that thing would fly out of his nose and sail right at you, Fredgut."
"Um, Sam?" Carly said quietly. "Don't you think you should try and maybe pay attention? This lecture is going to be on our test next week and it's kind of important."
"Like she cares," Freddie scoffed.
Sam shot a glare over at Freddie. "You better watch it, Benson, or you'll be getting real familiar with that trashcan in the cafeteria later." She turned back to Carly. "Anyway, I'll be fine for the exam. All this chiz is in the book, right?"
"Well, sure, I guess so," Carly nodded. "But Sam, when was the last time you actually read the book?"
"Um…"
"Please, she's probably never opened it," Freddie chuckled.
"That's not true!" Sam snapped. "I killed a spider with it once!"
"Sam, you know if you don't pass this test next week you're not going to pass this class," Carly said. "And that means you're going to have to retake it in summer school. Which means you won't be able to come with all of us to Hawaii to go to that web awards show."
"Relax," Sam assured her. "I always come through in the end, don't I?"
"Puckett! Benson! Shay!" Mr. Bompe suddenly said loudly, causing the three teens to jump slightly in their seats. "Are you chit-chatting or paying attention?"
"Paying attention!" Carly answered at once. "And might I add, you're doing a great job with this lecture."
"Oh," Mr. Bompe said, his expression lightening. "Well, Napoleon's regime was the topic of my senior thesis back in college. Now, as I was saying, at Waterloo…"
"Hey, think Bompe will notice if I sneak out to the vending machine?" Sam asked. "Mama's craving a Fat Cake."
"Sam," Carly moaned. "Can't you just please listen to this lecture? I promise, when you're taking that test next week you'll be glad you did."
"Don't waste your breath, Carls," Freddie said, rolling his eyes. "She's hopeless."
…..
"Man, you would not believe the day I had!" Spencer announced a week later as he slammed the front door of his apartment.
"What happened?" Freddie asked as him and Carly looked up from their history textbooks.
"This jerk at the Laundromat stole my dryer!" Spencer exclaimed. "And then he took my dryer sheets! My clothes are gonna be totally linty!"
"Um, yeah, that does sound like a hard day," Carly smirked.
"It was like the universe had it out for me!" Spencer nodded, clearly not catching the sarcasm in his younger sister's voice. "I'm gonna need a power nap just to get through the rest of the day, so try and keep it down out here, will you?"
"No problem," Freddie said. "We're just studying for our big history test tomorrow."
"Oh right," Spencer said. "You guys nervous?"
"Actually, no," Carly said. "I think we're really ready. Freddie and I have studied two hours a night for the past week. We've made charts and flashcards; I even made this cute little limerick to help me remember all the important dates in the French Revolution. Wanna hear it?"
"No, not really," Spencer replied promptly.
"We're gonna ace this test tomorrow," Freddie said proudly.
"Wait," Spencer frowned. "Isn't Sam in your history class? Why isn't she here studying with you guys?"
"Because it's Sam," Freddie scoffed. "Study isn't in her vocabulary."
"I tried to get her to study with us," Carly sighed. "But she's being stubborn. And you know if she doesn't get at least a C- on this test she's going to flunk the class? And if she flunks the class she'll have to go to summer school and she won't get to go to Hawaii with all of us to go to the web show awards and she's gonna be all bummed and I'm gonna be all bummed and-"
"Chill, Carls," Freddie said.
"Well…I'm sure she's been studying," Spencer said hopefully. "Sam always comes through in the end, right?"
"Yeah, that's true," Carly said heavily. "I just hope she keeps that record alive."
"Eh, if anything, she'll probably find some way to distract Mr. Bompe during the test so she can steal the answer key," Freddie pointed out as he began to rummage through his backpack. "Anyway, I think if we just review the timelines I drew up in study hall today a few times, we'll officially be done. Now where did I put my notebook….?"
"Oh, I think Sam took it from your bag during lunch," Carly said.
"What?" Freddie frowned. "Why?"
"Well see, while you were up getting more napkins, she decided Gibby just needed to have some spitballs thrown at him, but she didn't have any paper so she just went into your bag."
"And you didn't stop her?" Freddie sputtered indignantly.
"I'm not a miracle worker," Carly replied.
"Great," Freddie groaned. "It took me a whole hour to do those timelines and now they're just gonna go to waste."
"So just go over to Sam's and get your notebook back," Carly reasoned. "And while you're there, you can make sure she's actually studying."
"That sounds like a sure way for me to wind up getting a Texas Wedgie," Freddie said simply.
"Dude, you want your fancy little timelines or not?"
"Fine," Freddie conceded, getting to his feet. "But if I'm not back in thirty minutes, send an ambulance."
….
She better not give me any problems giving me back my notebook, Freddie thought as he walked up Sam's driveway to her front door. Because if she does…there's really nothing I can do about it.
Freddie rang the doorbell, glancing at his watch as he did so.
Alright, if I can get my notebook from Sam within ten minutes, I can be back to studying by nine, Freddie told himself. That means I can be in bed by eleven, giving me a solid seven-and-a-half hours of sleep to prepare myself for-
"What?" Sam demanded, throwing her door open. "For the tenth time, if you don't have a warrant you can't come in and-Oh. It's you. What do you want, Fredbag?"
"My notebook," Freddie said, stepping into the house. "You know, the one you stole from me to make spitballs evidently."
"Oh, right," Sam mumbled. "Fine, whatever."
"I'm serious, Sam," Freddie said. "I really need that-Wait…did you say fine?"
"Yes!" Sam said irritably. "You can have your notebook back. I forgot I had it, my bad."
"Oh," Freddie blinked. He hadn't expected things to go so smoothly. "Well…good!"
"I think I have it in my bag," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "Come on, it's in here…"
Freddie followed her into the living room. He noticed that for once, the television was turned off.
Sam grabbed her bag off the sofa and began rummaging around. "Here," she finally said, tossing him his notebook. "Take it."
"Um…thanks," Freddie said, still thrown off by Sam's cooperation. "I'll see you later."
"Bye," Sam said bitterly.
Freddie frowned. "You alright?"
"I'm fine!"
"Er, okay then," Freddie said, jumping back a bit. "Well…I guess I'll be going. Oh, but Carly wanted me to at least tell you that you should be studying for the history test tomorrow. So, you know…at least crack the book open for her. She's really concerned that you're not going to pass and-"
"Yeah, I know, thanks!" Sam said loudly, throwing herself down on the sofa and emitting a loud groan as she buried her head in her hands.
Freddie glanced over at the coffee table and suddenly realized it was covered with papers and maps and Sam's opened history textbook.
"Hey, wait a minute," Freddie said. "Are you studying?"
"Yes, Benson, I am!" Sam said. "Because as crazy as it might be to believe, I don't enjoy flunking all my classes and feeling like an idiot while you and Carly get the highest grades in the class! But you know what? It doesn't even matter! I've been looking at this stuff all night and I still can't get any of it into my stupid brain! I can't memorize all these dates and wars and kings and documents! So I'll just fail that test tomorrow as usual and have to repeat this class in summer school while you two jet off to Hawaii and have all sorts of fun!"
Freddie stood there, absolutely shocked at Sam's outburst. He had never seen her so upset. Especially over something school related. Even earlier that year when they had been in a relationship he had never seen this side of Sam. She looked so defeated…it killed him.
"Well, um, I-I'm sure you'll do fine," Freddie said lamely. "If you study all night."
"I doubt it," Sam sighed. "I bought some notes from Rip-Off Rodney after school and I'm only on the part about Lincoln's campaign."
Freddie frowned. "Lincoln's campaign?"
"Yeah," Sam nodded. "And I still have at least fifty pages of notes to go and-"
"Um, Sam?" Freddie said. "You do realize we're in European history. Lincoln's not going to be anywhere on this test."
"What?" Sam exclaimed. "Are you kidding? Ugh! Wait till I get my hands on Rodney!"
She slouched back on the couch.
"Well there you go," she said heavily. "I guess I care so little about my grades that I can't even be bothered to buy the right notes. Now I'm definitely going to fail."
Freddie stepped closer to sofa. "Hey…"
"I just hate this," Sam said softly. "I mean, I-I know everyone expects me to fail anyway, but…just once I wish I could prove them wrong."
"Sam, that's ridiculous," Freddie said gently, sitting down next to her. "No one expects you to fail."
"You do," Sam said, looking up at him.
"What-What do you-"
"You've been saying all week how I'm hopeless when it comes to studying," Sam mumbled, looking down at her lap. "Well…looks like you were right. I'm a lost cause."
A feeling of guilt bubbled up inside of Freddie.
"Sam," he said. "Listen…I-I didn't mean any of that stuff I said. I-I was just playing around. I-I thought you knew that."
"Whatever, it doesn't matter," Sam said. "It's true. I should've been paying attention in class like you and Carly said. Maybe then I would've had a chance at passing this thing."
"Sam," Freddie said firmly. "Now you're just being crazy. You're the most determined person I've ever met! If you set out to do something there's nothing that can stop you from doing it! You remember that time the manager at El Guapo Taco told you that you couldn't eat five dozen tacos in one sitting? You proved him wrong, didn't you?"
"Well…yeah," Sam agreed. "Yeah, I guess I did set a record that day…and puked in his parking lot."
"And when Ms. Briggs told you that they were getting rid of the Peppy Cola machines in the cafeteria and replacing them with water fountains," Freddie continued. "You caused such chaos in the school that she had no choice but to back down!"
"I did cause a code magenta," Sam said thoughtfully.
"You see," Freddie said, putting an arm around her supportively. "You can do whatever you want if you just try. If you try, and I mean really try and pass this test tomorrow…you'll do it. I know it."
Sam gave him a small smile. "Yeah, well, passing a history test is a little different than eating sixty tacos or keeping vending machines around. Besides, I hardly know a thing about studying or European history."
"Well…" Freddie said slowly. "You're in luck. History happens to be one of my best subjects. How about I help you pull an all-nighter and get through all the material you'll need to know for the test."
Sam frowned. "You'd really do that for me?"
"Of course," Freddie smiled.
"But…won't you be all tired and crotchety when you take the test tomorrow?" Sam pointed out.
"Eh, I'll be fine," Freddie shrugged. "Worse case scenario, I get a B instead of an A. I'll live."
"Whoa, Freddie Benson get a B?" Sam smirked. "Must be a full moon."
"It was bound to happen eventually," Freddie chuckled.
Sam laughed. After a moment, though, she looked down at her shoulder, where Freddie's arm was still resting.
It was the most physical contact they had had since their break-up…
Awkwardly clearing his throat, Freddie quickly retracted his arm. "So," he said quickly. "Let's get started then. We can use my notes. Now, we should start with feudalism…"
….
"I'm afraid to look," Carly said a week later, as Mr. Bompe's history class filed out of the classroom with their graded tests in their hands.
"I'm sure you did fine, Carly," Freddie told her, though still not looking at his own grade.
"Okay, let's look on three," Carly said, taking a deep breath. "One, two…three!"
The two flipped over their tests.
"A 93!" Carly exclaimed excitedly. "I got a 93!"
"Nice!" Freddie grinned.
"How'd you do?" Carly asked.
"91," Freddie replied. Not too shabby for getting absolutely no sleep the night before, he added to himself.
"This is great, we both got A's!" Carly beamed. She looked back over her shoulder at the classroom, where Sam was still waiting to get her own test back. "I just hope Sam got through this."
Freddie said nothing. Him and Sam had spent ten grueling hours going through nearly every detail of the material the night before the test. And even he had to admit that by the end of it, Sam seemed to know her stuff.
"Here she comes," Freddie said just as Sam stepped out of the classroom.
"Hey," Sam said slowly, stepping over to her two friends. "So I bet you two both got A's?"
"Don't worry about what we got," Carly said quickly. "What about you?"
"Um, I-I haven't looked yet," Sam said.
"Well, go ahead," Freddie urged her, giving her a comforting smile.
Nodding, Sam took a deep breath before flipping over her test.
"Holy chiz!" she cried, almost dropping the test on the ground. "No way!"
"What?" Carly demanded. "What is it?"
"An 84!" Sam cheered. "I got a B! I got a B! I passed!"
"Oh my God!" Carly squealed, throwing her arms around her best friend. "Sam! I'm so proud of you!"
"This means I'm done with this class for good!" Sam said, relieved. "And no summer school!"
"We'll have to celebrate," Carly said. "This is the best you've done on a history test, well, ever! We'll stop by Cups of Cupcakes after school!"
"I'll hold you to that, Shay," Sam smirked just as the bell rang for their next class.
"Oh, I need to get to pre-calc," Carly said, giving Sam one last hug. "But seriously Sam, good job."
"Thanks," Sam replied. She waited until Carly had run off before turning to Freddie.
"Congratulations," Freddie told her. "See? I told you if you gave it some effort, you could do it."
"Not without you, I couldn't have," Sam said, looking down at her feet. "So, um…guess I owe you one, Benson. Um…thanks a lot."
"Anytime, Puckett," Freddie chuckled. "It would've been a pretty boring summer with you stuck in school, after all. At least now it'll have some spark in it."
