Chapter Sixty-Five

Lily found herself staring at the grains and patterns in the wood that composed Petunia's bedroom door. Severus had left a few minutes ago, and while her parents were downstairs cleaning up after dinner, Lily had excused herself, hoping to talk to her estranged sister.

Raising her hand to knock on the door, Lily hesitated and pulled it back. What could she say to Petunia that would make everything all right again? Then again, things hadn't exactly been fine between the two sisters. Petunia refused to be in contact with Lily when she was at Hogwarts.

"I don't want any owls pecking at the window to my dormitory," Petunia had insisted shrilly. "What would the other girls think?"

Exactly, thought Lily bitterly. You wouldn't want to be a freak, would you, Petunia?

With the wrong kinds of thoughts now in her head, Lily knocked on the door, suddenly angry.

"Don't waste your time or mine," Petunia's nasty voice came from the other side of the door. "Just go away."

"Petunia," Lily tried not to shout. "There are other ways I can open the door. Surely you remember the incident in the bathroom?"

Suddenly the door was open, and Petunia was standing there, glaring daggers at Lily. "Oh, yes, I remember that quite well," Petunia said shortly. "I won't have you showing off your magic tricks."

With a long-suffering sigh, Lily held her hands up in surrender. "Fine. But you and I are going to talk."

"That's rich of you, Lily. You're as considerate as always. It would seem you've spent so much time around that Snape boy, you're now emulating his mannerisms."

"Stop calling him that," Lily argued. "Better I be like him than you, it would seem. Now, come on, Petunia. What's the matter?"

"Oh, so now you act like you care?" Petunia spat. "'What's the matter?' you ask? Ha! First of all, I seem to remember you having a problem with me being engaged a few months ago, saying I was too young to get married! Now, here you are, seventeen bloody years old and engaged! Isn't that ironic? And you tried to be all compassionate and kind, saying I would find someone and all that rubbish?"

Lily bit her lip guiltily and tried to speak, but Petunia went on. "Oh, no! You wanted to know 'what's the matter.' Now you're going to find out, since you're so damn insistent in barging into my room. Let's see. What else? Ah, yes! You and Snape rudely chase off my fiance, and you get to have your man, who had the nerve to insult Vernon like that. Vernon may not have been the nicest bloke in the world, but he was far more decent than that freak from the rundown side of the neighborhood you've been clinging to since you were nine!"

"Don't you dare bring Severus into this!" Lily cried back, ready to slap her sister's long face.

"Shut up!" Petunia shrieked, hot tears marking her reddened cheeks. "As if all that weren't bad enough, you come and drop this bomb on the family, a matter of hours after I've just gotten home and found out that Mum is potentially dying! You try to pride yourself on being 'kind!' What a load of rubbish stinking this otherwise decent household! How could you, Lily?! You're so taken with Snape that you can't even give a thought about anyone else!"

"That's not true!" Lily protested, tears now streaming down her face. Feeling ashamed, Lily tried to apologize. "I didn't mean-"

"Girls!" Mrs. Evans's voice broke in.

Lily and Petunia simultaneously turned their heads and saw their mother and father standing at the top of the stairs. Mrs. Evans looked distressed, and she had the telltale signs of tears marring her face as well. Her husband took her by the waist as she turned and sobbed into his shoulder.

Disappointment etched all over his normally friendly face, Mr. Evans said, "What is going on up here? All this shouting... We could hear every word downstairs, and the neighbors may have heard you for all we know. Now they possibly know about your mother's condition. Petunia, Lily, this is not how we raised you! Yes, your mother is sick, but instead of coming together for her, you're both up here throwing blame around like a cheap joke. Don't make a mockery of this situation because you two can't see reason to put your personal feelings aside."

Lily wiped at her face and approached her parents pleadingly. "Mum, Dad, I'm sorry." She reached out to them, but her father held his wife protectively to him as she continued to sob.

"I think it's time you go to bed," Mr. Evans stated, booking no room for argument. "Christmas is three days away. I should hope it's not ruined now. Good night."

Lily and Petunia exchanged desperate looks, but then just as soon glowered at each other. There were no words to be found to heal the brokenness. The gaping wound in the Evans household had been forced open again, only the pain was beyond anything Lily had even felt before. She went to her room and cried herself to sleep.

x x x x x

Lily avoided Petunia as much as possible in the following days. She showed up at Severus's doorstep the next day and insisted on staying over his house all day, saying she couldn't return home, not knowing what was waiting for her back there. So followed the next day with the same result. Severus tried to reassure her that she was still welcome at home, despite the hardships, but Lily would hear nothing of it.

"It's my fault, Sev," she said for the third time that day. "I can't even look in their eyes, especially my mum's. I feel like I've disappointed her."

"Nonsense," Severus gently chided her. "I'll admit... we should have waited and told your family about the engagement. I don't sympathize with Petunia often, but she had been through a big shock already."

"Well, it's too late now," Lily uttered softly.

They were sitting on the rugged couch in the sitting room, and Lily was staring into the flames in the fireplace. She drew her knees to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, resting her chin on her knees. Severus gave her a concerned look and placed his arm around her, pulling her close.

"You can stay here as long as you wish," he said, "but tomorrow is Christmas. You should be with your family."

"I want to be with you."

"And so you are. I... I assume there's a dinner tomorrow?" Severus asked carefully.

"Yes," Lily breathed. "Even though she's a mess, my mum is trying to be strong and act like everything is normal. I even tried to tell her I'd cook, even though I'm rubbish at it, but she would hear nothing of it. She insisted on making the Christmas dinner... You're invited, of course. But, Sev, I don't know. Maybe I'm being stupid, but my mum's rejection of my offer felt like a rejection of me. Like I said, it's like I've completely disappointed her... them. I keep telling myself that it's just that my mum loves to cook, but a part of me doesn't want to believe that."

"Lily," Severus said kindly, "you're anything but stupid. I'm sure she appreciates your offer, but like you said, she is used to doing the Christmas dinner. She probably is just trying to keep her mind off the cancer and the surgery in three days."

"I know," Lily sighed, "but what am I supposed to do? That damned cancer! Sev, why can't magic help? What good is it to have these powers if there's nothing we can do?" she posed desperately.

"Medicine is one of those things where Muggles are further along than wizards," Severus explained. "Remember my concerns with my mum? St. Mungo's won't hear of admitting a Muggle, and that's unfortunate. Something should be done..."

Severus thought about his past life, recalling that Muggles weren't admitted for treatment at St. Mungo's unless their injuries had been due to a magical accident. Even then, they were promptly Obliviated, and those treatments hadn't begun until some time in the mid-1980s.

"The Ministry needs to change its law," Lily huffed, now withdrawing her knees and placing her feet back on the floor. She sat up straighter. "When I'm done at Hogwarts, I'm going to do something about it."

"That's a good plan," Severus agreed. "I, too, believe something needs to be changed. I had thought of going into Healing after school. That would be the appropriate field to research in."

Severus believed it appropriate he do something that was the opposite of what he had done when getting out of Hogwarts the first time. Being a Death Eater, he had been responsible for doing harm and creating poisons, but now, he felt his talents were suited for doing good, and that didn't mean only in fighting.

"You would do research into cancer?" Lily asked, touched and surprised.

"Yes," Severus affirmed. "As I said, I had considered going into Healing for a while now, but ever since your mum got sick, it seemed all the more important. You're not going to lose her, Lily."

"You are sweet, Sev." Lily leaned in and kissed him.

After the kiss, Severus said, "My father would like to get the chance to meet you properly. I know you don't want to be at home on Christmas, but we still ought to spend time with your family at dinner. I was thinking that earlier tomorrow... I would invite my father over. Would you come, Lily?"

"Of course I would," Lily replied, relieved to have a reason to be at his home again. "I would like to meet the man whose son I'm marrying."

"You're sure?" Severus questioned. "I'm not trying to force you-"

"I'm sure," Lily stated firmly. "I know your past with him was rocky, and I- I remember the condition he was in last year, but from what you've told me about him, he's really changed. He can't be all that bad. You are his son, after all."

Severus snorted. "You'll find out tomorrow, I suppose."

x x x x x

Christmas Day dawned and turned into a beautiful day. The sun was out and shining on the shimmering snow. Severus went about his usual morning routine, hoping things would go smoothly, both in the meeting between Lily and his father and later at Lily's house.

He went downstairs to the kitchen and set the table. The breakfast he had planned was nothing fancy or special, and compared to Mrs. Evans's dining room table, the kitchen table was simple. Just as Severus was about to get breakfast started, a knock came from the door. Wondering who had arrived early, Severus opened the door to find Lily standing there.

"Happy Christmas, Sev," she said the moment she stepped inside, dragging some snow in with her.

"Happy Christmas, Lily," Severus returned. "You're a bit early."

She gave him a knowing look. "My house," she stated, trying not to frown.

"Right, well... I was just about to get started. I don't suppose you'd like some coffee?"

"Sure, that'd be nice," Lily said, following Severus to the kitchen. "I can help," she offered.

"No, that's all right," Severus replied without thinking. He poured a cup for Lily and handed it to her, seeing the withdrawn expression clouding her face. "I didn't mean-" he started to say.

"I know; that's okay, Sev," Lily said, forcing a smile. She obligingly took the cup, cradling it between both hands, and took a sip. She sat down and watched as Severus set about putting some sausages on the stove.

"Did you open presents this morning?" Severus inquired, hoping to lighten Lily's spirits.

"Yes. It was nothing special, really. Petunia and I had each gotten the other something, but when she looked at the scarf I knitted for her, she didn't seem to like it. It got thrown into the closet with a dozen others."

"I'm sorry," Severus murmured. "She should have appreciated the time and effort you put into it. If she really doesn't want it, you can always give it to me. I'll wear it." Severus smiled, joking.

"I don't think you'd want it," Lily laughed a little. "It's pink and purple."

Severus's face twisted in mock disgust, although the truth was he had no desire to wear such colors. "Yes, you're right. It's not my color."

"Black is your color... with occasional greys and greens," Lily observed. "Why is that, Sev?"

He shrugged. "Never really thought about it. Most of the Muggle clothes I have are old and ratty... my father's. There are a couple pairs of blue jeans I'll wear, but his shirts are red. I only like red on you... your hair."

Just then, more knocking came. "That would be my father," Severus stated. He had just finished cooking the plain breakfast and so went to the door to let his father in.

Tobias was shivering on the front step, and he gratefully entered his old home when Severus invited him in.

"It smells good," he said, eyeing the kitchen. Seeing Lily there, Tobias added, "And your lovely fiancee is already here, I see."

Severus grimaced at his father's oily charm. "Don't mind him," Severus called over to Lily.

Lily smiled and approached the two men. "Hello, Mr. Snape," she greeted him, holding out her hand.

Tobias shook her hand, taking it in his own and examining the ring. "Nice ring," he observed. "And there's no need to be so formal, Lily. It's just Tobias."

"All right," Lily said a bit awkwardly. She wasn't accustomed to addressing adults by their given names, but quickly recovering, said, "Thanks," in regards to his comments on the ring.

"Well, breakfast is ready," Severus announced, unsure of how the interaction between Lily and Tobias would go. He had a hard enough time speaking with Tobias. He wondered what Lily could possibly say to him.

Breakfast was served, and ten minutes into the meal, Lily was laughing at an off color joke Tobias said.

"Did you like that?" Tobias asked, smirking. "I've got plenty more. The guys at work and I share them all the time."

"Er, that's quite all right, Father," Severus cut in, thinking his father's words too brash.

"No, it's okay," Lily said as her laughter broke up. "I just... wow, I've never known an adult who was willing to share something like that with me. Usually I only hear those kinds of things at school."

Severus groaned, which emboldened Tobias, who said teasingly, "I think we'd best stop for Severus's sake, my dear. He's not a happy bloke right now."

"Thank you," Severus muttered.

The rest of the meal went well, and after the kitchen was cleaned, the three of them moved into the sitting room.

"I see you've done away with the old telly," Tobias pointed out. "But the couch is still here."

Yes, Severus couldn't help but think bitterly, your favorite place to pass out after you were too pissed to stand.

"I may replace it one day when I can afford to," Severus said, hoping his father got the message.

Tobias reddened slightly, but didn't pursue the subject. Before Severus knew it, Tobias was telling more of his awful jokes, much to Lily's amusement. Severus had no idea she had such a raunchy sense of humor, but he loosened up with time and occasionally broke a smile at the punch lines. They spent an entire morning together, and Severus found himself pleasantly surprised by the interaction. They didn't exchange gifts, but the gift of having a decent father, even if Tobias wasn't much of a father figure, was more than he could have hoped for last year.

When the time came from Tobias to depart, Tobias firmly shook Severus's hand, and then, to Severus's surprise, Tobias pulled him into a hug. For a moment, Severus stiffened, but he relaxed enough to briefly return the gesture.

"I won't forget this, Severus," Tobias whispered, so only his son could hear. "Thank you for not giving up on me."

Hearing the rough emotion in his father's voice, Severus offered him a quick, tight-lipped smile and nodded. "Take care, Dad."

Tobias's face softened at hearing the word "Dad" and gave his son one last pat on the back before heading toward the door. "Goodbye, Lily!" he called. "It was a pleasure meeting you."

"And you, Mr. Sn- er, Tobias!" Lily called back from the sitting room. "Happy Christmas!"

Tobias headed out into the snow and was gone.

"Your father is quite funny," Lily told Severus. "You never told me he had such a sense of humor."

"I didn't know that about him," Severus admitted. "There's a lot I don't know about him."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"No, it's okay. Now, are you ready to head over to your place?" Severus asked softly, knowing Lily wasn't looking forward to the Christmas dinner with her family like she usually did.

Lily nodded. "Yes, we should get going. It wouldn't help matters any to be late."

Severus grabbed her coat and offered it to her. Lily took it and slipped it on, while Severus reached for his coat. After putting on their hats and gloves, they headed out into the snowy afternoon, the sun still shining. They walked through the silent streets, past the abandoned playground, and finally to Lily's street.

"No children are playing outside," Lily observed. "We used to be outside every Christmas when we were kids. Remember, Sev?"

"Like in the picture," Severus said quietly.

"Yes, like that picture. Those were happy times," Lily reminisced.

"As are these times," Severus pointed out gently, his hand taking hers. "I know things seem difficult right now, but you have a good family Lily. They do love you."

"Even Petunia?"

"I think... I think there's a lot of bitterness getting in the way, but how could she not love you? What's not to love about you?"

"I'm not the perfect person you think I am, Sev. Around Petunia - I don't know - I just lose my temper easily. I find it hard to tolerate her rudeness."

"No one's perfect," Severus said, "but you know that. Some people... and I ought to know... just push the wrong buttons. You put up with a lot from me over the years. You can handle Petunia."

"But you were worth it," Lily stressed. "I don't- Is Petunia?"

Severus couldn't believe what he was hearing from Lily. It seemed uncharacteristic of her to speak negatively about anyone. Even though he didn't care much about Petunia, he knew that if Lily's relationship with her sister was severed, Lily would suffer and be the worse off for it, even if she didn't believe that now. Instead, he felt something deeper was bothering her and so asked, "Is it really Petunia that's the issue here, Lily? Or about you upset about your mum and projecting it this way?"

They were now standing at the bottom of the driveway to Lily's house. Lily gazed uncertainly at the house.

"I don't want to go in there," she muttered.

"Lily, answer my question," Severus insisted, hoping he wasn't coming across the wrong way.

He brought his hand to her face and turned her head, meeting her eyes. "Tell me, Lily."

"I- Yes, I'm afraid of what's to happen. If she dies, Sev, I don't know what I'll do. It'll tear the family apart. Mum was always the one who kept us all together."

"Your father-"

"Is a kind enough man, but he always let Mum take charge. He'll be a wreck if she goes."

"Listen to me, Lily," Severus said firmly and gently at the same time. "I know how it feels to lose a parent, so I speak from experience when I tell you that you will feel an emptiness you won't be able to fill. My mum was already gone years before she died, and even though my father is still alive, he's not much of a father to me. I'm of age and can live without depending on him. If anything, he's more like a loose friend, so I don't really have anyone I'd consider a parent in my life. Your parents are the closest thing to that for me. If she does die, Lily, you, your father, and Petunia will be stronger than you think. I know you well enough to tell you this honestly. No matter what happens, you will get through it... because you have to. Now, if this is her last Christmas, and I pray it isn't, then we ought to be inside celebrating it with her. It's precious... life."

Lily's eyes had tears in them. She bit her lip uncertainly, but nodded. "Okay."

Severus held her hand the whole way to the front door. Once they were inside, it was as if nothing had changed. Mrs. Evans was right there to greet them with hugs and kisses, lavishing her daughter and Severus with her love. Lily was receptive to her mum's touch, and she held on tightly to her. Without words, the mother and daughter already had put aside the incident from three days earlier.

"I'm glad you could be here, Severus," Mrs. Evans said warmly. "Dinner will be ready shortly."

Lily and Severus went into the sitting room to wait. Under the tree was a silver and gold box, which Lily passed to Severus.

"Open it," Lily instructed him.

Severus pulled the paper away and found wrapped a picture album. He ran his fingers over the cover, then opened it, seeing the picture Lily had found at the bottom of the Christmas box a few days ago. Every page he turned contained pictures from their youth, and Severus touched them almost reverently, memories flooding his mind from long ago.

"Lily, this is... Thank you." Moved, Severus closed the album and crossed the short distance between them to kiss her. "This is the best present anyone has ever gotten me."

Lily blushed at his words. "You gave me this ring," she said, holding her hand in front of them. "I couldn't not get you something."

Severus gave her a squeeze, and then Mrs. Evans came into the room to announce dinner. Dinner started off awkwardly the moment Petunia entered the room. Severus noticed the discomfort between the two sisters, and neither made any attempt to start conversation with the other. Lily's parents initiated most of the discussion around the table. Severus told them briefly about the visit with his father, but thought it inappropriate to retell any of the jokes his father knew.

Lily, however, found herself bragging about what a good joke teller Tobias had been. When Mr. Evans inquired after said jokes, Severus gave Lily a wary look, but she simply smiled and giggled.

"I didn't say the jokes were clean," Lily said.

"Indeed," Mr. Evans quipped. "If I ever happen to meet him, I will have to remember a few of my jokes."

"Dad, your jokes are awful," Lily groused.

Mr. Evans chuckled, joined by Mrs. Evans. Only Petunia remained stony-faced. Seeing this, Lily quickly sobered and cleared her throat, resuming eating the goose. The meal passed evenly, and in fact, the rest of the evening wasn't anywhere near as terrible as Lily had been imagining.

At the end of the day, Severus and Lily found themselves once again on her doorstep. Some snow had begun to fall softly.

"Thanks for helping me through things," Lily was saying.

"Anytime," Severus replied.

"I'm still not sure about Petunia." Lily looked at the snow gathering on the fencing around the porch.

"Give it some time," Severus murmured.

"Two days," Lily said. "That's when Mum's surgery is scheduled."

Severus took the change of subject as a hint not to pursue discussing Petunia. "I'll be there."

"You, Sev, will always be there."

"Yes, I will." He leaned in and kissed her fully on the lips. Taking Lily's small hands, he placed them over his heart, adding, "And you are right here. Always."

"Always," Lily echoed.

Author's Note: Whew! That turned into a long chapter! There was so much I wanted to write and didn't even get to it all, so expect another chapter really soon. Since there are a couple of feet of snow on the ground here, I won't be going anywhere tomorrow. In fact, I stayed home all day today, thus giving me the time to write this. As you may have guessed, the next chapter is about Mrs. Evans's surgery and what happens after that. I think we'll be returning to Hogwarts in the chapter after that.