Reserve

"Aw man, did you guys hear?" Carly asked, looking up from the newspaper she was reading. "They're getting rid of that cute salad place down by the pier. They're going to replace it with some big, fancy restaurant. Isn't that sad? I loved that place, and now if I want to get a seaside meal, I'm gonna have to find myself a date!"

"Why are you reading the newspaper?" Sam asked, looking over from the couch, where her and Freddie were sitting. "I thought only losers and the elderly read those things."

"My mom still reads the paper," Freddie said.

"See? My point exactly," Sam said as Freddie rolled his eyes.

"Eh, Spencer got us a subscription because he got addicted to one of the comic strips," Carly shrugged. "Anyway, I'm totally bummed now! I was thinking of picking myself up a salad there today!"

"Hey, I heard about that new restaurant they're going to be building there though," Freddie said. "It's supposed to be really nice. Candles, professional chefs, a string quartet…you'd probably need to make reservations months in advance."

"Again, you need a date to walk in that place," Carly said. "And in case you've missed my loneliness, I don't have one!"

"We should go when it opens, baby," Sam said to Freddie. "I could go for some fancy food."

"Sure thing," Freddie nodded, leaning down to give her a quick kiss.

"Well at least someone can enjoy the new restaurant," Carly said, tossing the paper aside. "Hey, do you guys have any couple plans for today or do you want to maybe go see a movie or something? I've been inside all day."

"Yeah, I'm down for a movie," Sam said. "No chick flicks though. Unless it's that one where the girl is dating the gorilla, that one cracks me up."

"Man!" Spencer suddenly exclaimed, throwing the door open and storming into the apartment. "That was the worst date of my life!"

"Oh great, so everybody's dating but me," Carly said, shaking her head.

"What was wrong with your date?" Freddie asked. "You went out with that girl you met at the Groovy Smoothie, right? Leslie?"

"Yeah!" Spencer said. "And apparently she's some big-shot psychologist!"
"Well what's wrong with that?" Carly asked.

"She spent the whole date analyzing me and diagnosing me!" Spencer said angrily. "We went to dinner and by the time the appetizers got out, she had already told me I lack motivation, maturity and have unresolved issues with my father!"

"Wow…I wish I was there to see all that," Sam laughed. "She really pegged you."
"She did not!" Spencer snapped. "Oh! And the worst part was she made me take an I.Q. test!" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a crumbled sheet of paper. "See? Instead of enjoying the date, I had to fill this out!"
"Well what were the results?" Freddie asked.

"I don't want to talk about it!" Spencer groaned.

"Aw, well, I'm sure there's still a ton of great girls out there who would love to go out with you that wouldn't make you feel all stupid and depressed," Carly assured him.

"I know," Spencer sighed. "But Leslie was so hot!"

"Tough break," Sam said.

"I'm just gonna go mope around in the shower for a few hours," Spencer said, heading to the fridge. "Is there more milk in here?"

"Please don't take the milk in the shower," Carly said. "I hate finding little-"

"Sweet! Chocolate milk!" Spencer said happily, pulling the carton out of the fridge. "Looks like this night is turning itself around after all!"

"Poor Spence," Freddie said as the man retreated into his bedroom. "He hasn't had any luck with dates in ages."

"I know," Carly nodded. "He either almost runs them over, almost sets their dresses on fire, spills beverages on them, or gets called stupid and immature by them. He's in a real rut."

"Man, look at these questions on that IQ test though," Sam said, looking at the paper that Spencer had left. "No wonder he scored so badly on it; they look really hard!"

"I wonder what I'd get on this if I took it," Freddie commented, looking over his girlfriend's shoulder.

"Hey, why don't we all take the test and see how we do?" Carly suggested. "You know, just for fun."

"I thought you wanted to see a movie," Sam said.

"I did," Carly said. "But then I remembered sitting through a movie with you two really means sitting through one of your make-out sessions, and I'm not in the mood for that."
"Fair point," Freddie nodded. "Alright, let's take the test."
"I don't know…" Sam said slowly. "I hate taking tests enough when I'm forced to in school."

"Hey," Freddie said gently, putting his arm around her. "This is just for fun. No one is going to care what score they get."

Sam pondered this for a moment.

"Fine," she finally said. "Whatever, it beats sitting around bored all night."

….

"Alright," Carly said after about an hour, once all three had finished the IQ test. "I found the grading scale for this online. Let me just see how we all did."

"Remember," Freddie told Sam softly as Carly keyed in everybody's results on the computer. "This test doesn't mean anything. It was just for fun."
"Yeah, I got it, Fredbag," Sam said.

"Okay!" Carly said. "Looks like my IQ is 116, which according to this scale, is high intelligence!"

"Nice!" Freddie grinned.

"Now I'm glad I copied off you during that history test," Sam said.

"What?" Carly frowned.

"Nothing," Sam said quickly.

"And Freddie," Carly continued. "Looks like your IQ is…whoa! Your IQ is 120!"

"Wow, baby," Sam smirked. "Didn't know I was dating a super nerd."

"Hey, it's just a number," Freddie said modestly.

"Okay, Sam," Carly said, looking at the screen. "Looks like your IQ is…Holy chiz! Sam! Your IQ is 134!"

"134?" Sam repeated.

"134?" Freddie sputtered, his eyes widening. "She got a 134?"

"Uh-huh!" Carly nodded. "And that's considered superior intelligence!"

"Are you sure?" Freddie asked, looking at the computer screen.

"Positive," Carly said.

"Hey, I'm smart!" Sam grinned. "Who knew?"

"I-Well…These-These IQ tests aren't always completely accurate," Freddie said.

"Aw, what's wrong?" Sam asked. "Upset that you're the dumb one in this relationship?"

"No!" Freddie said. "I'm not upset! I-I'm very happy for you, Sam. See? All this time I've told you that if you just put a little more effort into your school work, you could really-"

"Ugh! Are we going to turn this all into some big 'potential' speech?" Sam asked, rolling her eyes.

"Well since you're suddenly a 'genius' I just thought you could take this opportunity to actually make some real improvements for yourself," Freddie said, rolling his eyes. "You know, if I can manage to get decent grades with my measly 120 IQ, imagine what you could do."

"Hey! I got a 116!" Carly reminded him. "120 isn't measly!"

"Look," Sam smiled. "I'd like to think I know a thing or two more than you about this whole 'education' thing. I mean I did score twelve points higher than you."
"Fourteen!" Freddie exclaimed, frustrated. "Good thing there was no math on that test! Just a bunch of stupid questions about-about stupid things!"

"Yeah, and you're not upset," Sam smirked.

"I'm not!"

"That vein on your neck is about to pop," Carly pointed out.

"You just don't like not being the smartest one," Sam said, rolling her eyes.

"How many times do I have to say it?" Freddie exclaimed. "I'm fine with these scores!"

"Sure you are," Sam chuckled. "Look, let's just drop it. We'll never bring it up again. We're never talk about how I'm actually smarter than you and-"

"You are not smarter than me!" Freddie yelled suddenly. "This was just some stupid, inaccurate IQ test! It proves nothing! You want proof of our intelligence? Look at our report cards! Look at the fact that I actually know how to spell 'development'. Look at the fact that I actually know how to do things without screwing them up! All this test proved was that you can make some lucky guesses on questions that don't even matter! On any real intelligence test, you'd score way lower than me or anybody!"
The second he said those words, Freddie realized it was a mistake. He saw Sam's face suddenly falter, and in one swift motion she jumped to her feet and stormed upstairs.

"No, Sam!" Freddie called after her. "I-I didn't mean that! That's not true! That's-"

But he was cut off by a door slamming loudly upstairs.

"Freddie," Carly moaned. "Why would you say all that to her?"

"I don't know!" Freddie sighed, angrily slamming his fist down on the counter surface. "It-It just blurted out!"

"What? Was it such a big deal that Sam scored higher than you on an IQ test?" Carly snapped. "Did you have to call her stupid?"

"I-I never called her stupid per say," Freddie said weakly.

"Oh, well I'm sure that's making Sam feel better!" Carly snapped. "Come on! You know better than anybody how much she struggles with things like this. How do you think she's going to feel after hearing the things she's most insecure about just yelled at her by her boyfriend, who is supposed to love her?"

"I didn't mean it!" Freddie yelled again.

"Well you don't have to tell me that," Carly said firmly, crossing her arms.

Freddie sighed. "She's going to kill me if I go up there."
"Yeah well, can't say you don't deserve it," Carly shrugged. "Look…you need to fix this. So go up there and tell her how wrong you were to say all that mean stuff! Now!"

"Alright!" Freddie said, not used to seeing the brunette so angry.

He started upstairs to the iCarly studio. When he reached the glass door, he saw his girlfriend inside, sitting on one of the beanbag chairs. Taking a deep breath, he slowly opened the door and walked in.

"Sam?" he said cautiously. "Baby? Listen, about-about what I said down there. I-I really didn't mean that. You-You know I don't think you're dumb or stupid or anything. I-I guess I was just a little jealous about you beating me at that test. But-But that's no excuse for what I said, and I'm really, really, really sorry I did say it. None of it was true."
Sam didn't reply. She wasn't even looking at him.

"Sam," Freddie sighed, sitting down next to her. "Please. I know you're mad, and rightfully so, but just-"

"Oh, I'm sorry," Sam cut him off. "Were you talking to me? Because, you know, I'm not really bright enough to realize when I'm being addressed. Sometimes my stupid self just stares off at some shiny thing in the distance."

"Okay…I deserved that," Freddie said. "Listen, I hate that I've made you feel this way. I-I know that you're very smart and-"

"Not according to our report cards," Sam scoffed. "Or spelling. Or-"

"Sam, come on, I-I didn't mean that," Freddie said. "I-I told you, I-I was just jealous! I mean, intelligence and tests and-and all that have always been my thing. I-I guess I just felt threatened when you scored higher than me. But-But like I said, that doesn't excuse what I-"

"You think I don't know that you're smarter than me?" Sam snapped. "Or that Carly is? I know, okay? Even with that test, I know you two are always going to be more intelligent or intelligenter or-or however you say it! You were right. That test wasn't accurate. But it-it was nice to just pretend for a few minutes that it was."

"Sam, Carly and I are not smarter than you," Freddie said firmly.

"Then how come you guys get straight A's and I-"

"Look, Sam, grades and school work, those-those aren't the only things that determine intelligence," Freddie said. "Sure, Carly and I have book smarts, but, well, the truth is, anybody can be book smart. You've got something neither of us has. Real, natural intelligence. I mean, you pick up on things that neither of us notice. Remember that time at the flea market when you stopped Carly from getting ripped off from that lady selling fake designer handbags because you noticed that she had a can of paint under her booth that she had been using to paint the bags all morning? Remember when helped T-Bo have the most profitable month of his life because you figured out a way for him to get double the smoothies out of his recipes? Remember when-"

"Yeah, okay, I've got street smarts," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "Big deal. What good is that going to do me?"

"A lot, actually," Freddie told her. "Book smarts well get you far in the classroom. But once you leave the classroom…well, that's where it ends."
Sam said nothing.
Freddie scooted closer to her, taking her hand in his. "Listen, I-I hate that I made you doubt, even for a second, how smart you really are. But even if you can't forgive me for what I said to you, just-just please know that you, Sam Puckett, are in now way, shape, or form, stupid. You're brilliant."
Sam finally looked up at him, giving him a small smile. "I've never been called brilliant before."

"Well that's a shame," Freddie said, smiling back at her. "Because you definitely are."