Altogether

"Hey, I'm home," Freddie said as he walked through the front door of his home, setting his briefcase down by the coat rack, the usual chaos and ruckus of the Benson household greeting him instantly.

"Daddy!" five-year old Ashton cried happily, running full force at her father.

"Hi, angel," Freddie smiled, scooping her up in his arms. "What have you been up to today?"

"Me and Emma played with Clarissa at her house while mommy took Jason to the dentist," Ashton recited. "And then I played house with Tyler. I was the mommy and he was the baby. Emma was supposed to be the daddy, but she said my game was stupid and watched T.V. instead. But my game wasn't stupid, wasn't daddy? Emma was just being mean. And then mommy let me read the new baby a book because I know how to read six whole books all on my own. She said the baby can hear when it's in her tummy. Is that true? Did anybody read to me when I was in mommy's tummy? Did you-"

"How about we finish this story at dinner?" Freddie chuckled, kissing the top of her blonde head. "Where's mommy and your brothers and sister?"

"In the kitchen," Ashton replied as Freddie set her down. "Emma and Jason are in time-out for running in the house and breaking a vase, but I'm not because I'm the good one."

Freddie headed into the kitchen, where Sam was at the counter, chopping a tomato with one hand while balancing their one-year old son Tyler on her hip with the other; a feat that was made exceptionally difficult due to the fact that she was currently six months pregnant.

"I heard you had an eventful day," Freddie greeted his wife, leaning down to give her a quick kiss as he took their son from her.

"Eventful doesn't even begin to describe it," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "I've been on my feet since you left for work this morning."
"Hi daddy!" Emma said from the table where she was sitting, along with nine-year old Jason. "We're in trouble!"

"Yeah, those two managed to destroy that fancy glass vase we got from Carly's dad for at our wedding," Sam said. "They were running all around the house again."

"Emma started it!" Jason defended. "She took my comic book!"

"Because he ate the last popsicle!" Emma retorted.
"And that's been my day," Sam said.

"You want to go sit down or something?" Freddie asked. "You should try to get at least a little rest. You are pregnant. Here, I'll finish dinner."
"Thanks," Sam sighed, taking Tyler back and heading to the table. "Man, can you imagine how things are going to be like when there's five kids running around here?"

"Our house might start qualifying as a war zone," Freddie chuckled.

"Mommy, how much longer until the baby gets here?" Emma asked as Ashton wandered into the kitchen, joining her family.

"Three months," Sam replied. "Same as it was this morning when you asked, honey. Oh, speaking of the baby, Fredwad, Spencer came by while you were at work and set up the second crib in Tyler's nursery."

"Oh great," Freddie said.
"How come the baby has to share a room with Tyler?" Ashton asked.

"Because we ran out of rooms," Sam chuckled. "So for now Tyler and the new baby will just share rooms until Tyler gets a little older, then he'll move into Jason's room."
"I don't want to share my room," Jason grumbled. "Tyler's going to mess up all my action figures and model rockets."

"No he won't," Sam assured him, reaching over and giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "It will be fun having a roommate. Emma and Ashton have fun sharing their room."
"No we don't," the twins replied simultaneously.

"Well, unfortunately until mommy and daddy win the lotto and can buy a huge house with separate rooms for everybody, that's the way it's gonna have to be," Freddie said, setting a salad bowl on the table. "You guys remember when we told you about this new baby that we said there would be a few changes around here. It might seem a little weird at first, but you guys saw last year with Tyler, you'll soon get used to all the changes and realize how much you love your new brother or sister."

"Can it be a sister this time?" Emma asked. "We already have two brothers."
"Well we already have two sisters!" Jason countered.

"Guess this baby is the tie-breaker," Sam grinned.

"Do you and daddy want the baby to be a boy or a girl?" Ashton asked.

"Come on, you know we'll be happy with either," Freddie said as he set plates in front of everybody. "As long as the baby's healthy, that's all we can ask for."

He sat down at his seat at the table. "It doesn't matter to us if this new baby is a boy or a girl or-um, Sam? What am I sitting on?"

He quickly scrambled to his feet pulled a giant ball of Clay Dough from his seat.

"That was my castle I was making!" Ashton gasped. "You sat on it, daddy!"

"Yup," Sam sighed, taking a bite of her chicken. "It's been one of those days."

…..

"See, with Tyler's crib moved here by the window, and the second crib by the closet, that gives us plenty of room to walk around to the changing table or the rocking chair or wherever," Sam said as her and Freddie sat in Tyler's nursery later that evening.

"Yeah, I think it's a nice setup," Freddie nodded, looking up from changing Tyler's diaper.

"You know," Sam said, sitting down in the rocking chair. "While I was waiting for Jason at the dentist today, I started thinking about how it's gonna be having two kids so close to each other in age. I mean, Tyler and this baby are only going to be fifteen months apart. They're going to be in diapers at the same time. They're both going to be so dependent on us at the same time."

"True," Freddie said, snapping up Tyler's onsie. "But we did handle the twins, and they're the same exact age. We can handle this."
"I know we can," Sam nodded. "Still…five kids?"

"It's going to be crazy," Freddie grinned as Sam took Tyler in her arms, gently stroking his back as his light, blue eyes began to close. "I mean, we weren't planning on having another kid after Tyler, especially so soon, but, well, it happened. But even if we didn't exactly plan on this, just think, baby, we're getting to add another piece to our family."

"Yeah," Sam smiled, kissing the top of Tyler's head. "Our loud, rambunctious, insane, perfect family."

She carefully laid Tyler down in his crib, and Freddie leaned down and kissed his son.

"Well…that's all of them," Freddie whispered. "They're all asleep."

"And it's only ten o'clock," Sam beamed. "A personal record."

"See? We can still possibility keep our sanity with five kids," Freddie chuckled as he gave his wife a quick peck. "So what do you want to do? Watch a movie? Go to bed early?"
"I know," Sam said as her and Freddie stepped into their bedroom. "We can work on narrowing down some more names."

"Oh right," Freddie said. "Hey, we've gotten pretty far. We're down to, what, ten names for a boy and ten for a girl? That's the furthest we've ever been by the six month mark."

"I know," Sam said, sitting down on the bed and picking up the book from her bedside table. "Guess it only took five kids for us to get this down. So, for a boy we have Cory, William, Mathew, Logan, Trevor, Joseph, Zachary, Cole, Peyton, and Dallas."

"Yeah, I was thinking about Logan today at work and, I dunno, I just can't really wrap my head around it," Freddie said, settling down next to his wife. "Logan Benson…It just doesn't have that ring to it."

"Yeah, I see what you mean," Sam nodded thoughtfully. "Also, I want to take Peyton and Dallas off the table."
"How come?"

"Well if we name the kid Dallas, then he's going to be mocked when ever the Dallas Cowboys lose a game," Sam said.
"Dallas Cowboys?" Freddie frowned. "Is that a band?"

"And Peyton was the name of one of my mom's boyfriend's hamsters when I was growing up," Sam continued, choosing to ignore her husband's comment.

"Alright, fine, Logan, Peyton and Dallas are off the table," Freddie said.

"Let's take Trevor off too," Sam said.

"How come?"
"Eh, I'm just not that fond of 'v's now that I think of it," Sam shrugged. "Hey, out of the names we have left…which one is your favorite? Like if you had to pick one right now, which would you pick?"

"Hmm," Freddie said. "You know…I think I'd have to go with Zachary. I mean, it's simple, but not too simple, you can shorten it to Zach-"

"Really?" Sam said, smiling. "Zachary was my top choice for a boy too."

"You're kidding," Freddie grinned. "We never agree on names this quickly. So-So that's it then? If this baby's a boy we name him Zachary?"
"Well we still have a few months to change our mind but for right now…yeah," Sam nodded. "Zachary it is."
"Wow," Freddie said, wrapping an arm around her. "That was efficient."
"Well we still have girl names to fight over," Sam reminded him, flipping through the book. "Let's see, the names we narrowed down for a girl are Bethany, Camille, Heather, Kira, Grace, Hayden, Noelle, Kristen, Michelle and Annabelle."

Sam and Freddie were silent for a moment.

"I like Annabelle a lot," Sam said softly, looking up at her husband.

"You know what?" Freddie said. "I like Annabelle too. Annabelle Benson…It's perfect."

"Hey…look at that," Sam grinned. "We picked names out in less than ten minutes."

"We're on a roll tonight, baby!" Freddie laughed. "Kids in bed, baby names picked out…we are really becoming pros at this!"

"Hey, we have been doing this close to ten years," Sam reminded him, tossing the book down. She rested her hands on her abdomen. "I can't wait to meet little Zachary or Annabelle."

"Well you can see him or her tomorrow at your doctor's appointment on the ultrasound," Freddie said. "That's at one, right?"

"Yup," Sam nodded. "I'm dropping the kids off at Carly's at noon and then I'm heading over."
"Wow…look at your being all punctual," Freddie chuckled. "Pregnancy always has brought out your responsible side. Although yesterday you did try and turn off the T.V. with a slingshot…"

"Well I lost the remote and I wasn't going to get up and do it," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "Anyway, you're coming tomorrow, right?"
"Yup, I haven't missed a doctors appointment yet, have I?" Freddie said. "I'm not going to start now. I'll meet you there from work."

"Good," Sam said, yawning as she leaned back against the pillows. "And then after we can take advantage of Carly and leave her with the kids for an extra hour while we get ice cream."
"I like the way you think, baby," Freddie laughed.

"You should, after ten years of being married to me," Sam said, kicking back her covers. "Hey, do we have any of that stomach medicine in the bathroom?"

"We should, why?" Freddie asked as Sam slowly got to her feet.

"I've been feeling crampy all day," Sam said. "And I haven't had time to take anything for it."

"Are you okay?" Freddie asked, concerned.

"Yeah," Sam said. "I guess I just ate something the baby didn't agree with. Although its kind of been getting worse…"
"Should I call the doctor?"

"Nah, we're seeing him tomorrow," Sam said, stepping into the adjoining bathroom and opening the medicine cabinet. "Besides, I'm sure once I get some medicine in me I'll-ah!"

Suddenly, she felt a sharp pain shoot through her spine, and she gripped the edge of the counter top to keep her balance.

"Sam?" Freddie said, hopping out of bed and hurrying into the bathroom with her. "What's wrong?"

"I-I don't know," Sam said, still gripping the counter. "All of the sudden I just got this really bad pain. It felt a contraction almost."
"A contraction?" Freddie repeated, his eyes widening. "At six months? Sam, that-that isn't good."
"I know," Sam said, her hear racing. "We-We should call the doctor like you said. I read online that sometimes women go through these false labor pains and doctors are able to-ah!"

She felt another sharp pain slice through her body.

"Here, sit down," Freddie said, helping Sam into a sitting position by the tub. "I'm going to call the doctor and see if he knows what's going on."
Sam nodded, putting one hand on her stomach.

"You're going to be okay," she whispered, speaking to her unborn child as Freddie raced out of the bathroom. "Mommy and daddy are going to make sure you-"

She stopped talking, though, as she suddenly spotted a trickle of blood sliding down her leg.

"Freddie!" she yelled, her blood going cold. "Freddie!"

"What?" Freddie answered, running back into the bathroom, his phone pressed against his ear. "What's-"

His sentence trailed off as he spotted the blood.

"Call an ambulance," Sam said, absolutely terrified. "Something's wrong."

"I-Okay," Freddie nodded, fumbling with his phone as Sam clenched her eyes closed as the pain continued.

This is the same thing that happened with the twins, Sam thought to herself, remembering the time five years earlier when she had been in a similar situation. It was the worst experience of her life. She had felt these same pains when she was seven months along and had to be rushed to the hospital and forced to deliver two months premature, and for several long, miserable weeks, Sam and Freddie didn't even know if the girls would make it. She never wanted to have to go through that again.

It's going to be alright, Sam told herself firmly, because she knew if she let herself believe anything else, she'd break down, and if she was going to get through this, she needed all her strength.

"The ambulance is on its way," Freddie told her. Sam could tell he was trying hard to keep his voice as calm as he could. "They should be here within five minutes. They-They're going to fix this, Sam. Don't-Don't worry."
"I'm scared, Freddie," Sam whispered.

"You're going to be alright," Freddie said, though also feeling beyond frightened. "Both of you. I promise."

….

"-She's six-month pregnant and has been experiencing contraction-like muscle pains and severe bleeding," one of the paramedics told Sam's doctor, who was waiting for them outside the hospital, as Sam's stretcher was lowered down from the ambulance.

"We have a room ready for her; have you given her any tocolytics?" the doctor asked as he ran alongside Sam's stretcher.

"We gave her an injection of nifedipine, and she's responding well," the paramedic replied.

"So what's going to happen?" Freddie asked, jogging to keep up with his wife and the doctors. "Is she going to have to deliver now?"

"We're hoping to avoid a delivery this premature," the doctor told Freddie. "Since she's responding well to the nifedipine, her contractions should begin to stop soon. We're going to take a look at her as soon as we get her into her room and see what the next treatment step needs to be."

"You hear that, Sam?" Freddie said. "You-You're responding well. See? This-This is all going to be okay."

Sam, feeling worn down both from the medicine she had been given and her own anxiety, didn't respond. She just reached out for Freddie's hand.

"Mr. Benson, we're going to need you to wait out in the waiting room," the doctor said as they reached the hospital entrance.

"What? I-I can't be with her?" Freddie frowned.

"Not for the examination," the doctor said. "Someone will come and get you once we can give you news."
"I-But-" Freddie said weakly, stopping in his tracks as he watched is wife be rushed around the corner. He felt completely helpless. His wife and unborn child were in trouble and there wasn't a thing he could do about it.

He tried to steady his breathing, but he still felt like he was going to be sick. He had told Sam over and over again in the ambulance ride over that this was all going to be okay, but the truth was, he really had no idea. The last time he had felt so afraid was when they had gone through this similar situation when the twins had been born.

Everything turned out fine then, Freddie reminded himself. And-And they said they were able to stop Sam's contractions….they-they couldn't do that last time. Maybe-Maybe that's a good sign.

He wandered down the hall towards the waiting room, still in a complete daze.

Why does this have to happen? Why?

…..

Sam felt heavy with sleep and disoriented while she watched with blurry vision as several doctors and nurses crowded around her. She kept fighting to stay awake though, anxious for a piece of information that would clue her into what was going on.

"-not contractions she was feeling."

"-we'll have to perform the procedure now."

"-do we know a cause?"

"What-what is…" Sam tried to ask, but the medication was highly sedative, and every word she spoke took a tremendous amount of effort. She tried to turn her head to the ultrasound monitor by her bed, convinced if she could at least see the image of her child inside of her, she'd be somewhat comforted. But all she could see was static.

The doctors exchanged glances before gravely nodding. One of them turned to a nurse. "You can go get Mr. Benson from the waiting room now."

Another doctor stepped over to side. "We're getting your husband now, Mrs. Benson. He'll be here shortly."
"The baby," Sam mumbled. "What about the baby?"

The doctor took a deep breath, and that's when Sam knew.

"No…" she whispered, struggling to sit up. "No! No, you-you're not-"

"Mrs. Benson, I'm so sorry," the doctor said softly.

Sam felt tears streaming from her eyes, and for once in her life, she didn't care who saw her cry.

"There is no fetal heartbeat. The abdominal pains you were experiencing earlier were not contractions. It was your body's reaction to the-"

"Stop," Sam pleaded, squeezing her eyes shut. This couldn't be happening.

Just then the door opened and Freddie ran in.

"What's going on?" he asked at once. "The nurse didn't tell me-"

But his sentence trailed as he spotted Sam's tears falling down onto the sheets.

"No," he mumbled, fumbling over to the chair by Sam's bed and collapsing into it. "Tell me-Tell me this isn't-"

"We lost the baby," Sam gasped through her tears. "Freddie, we lost-lost-"

She couldn't manage to get another word out.

Freddie instinctively took one of Sam's hand in his. He looked up at the doctor silently.

"I'm very sorry," the doctor said again. "The fetus's heart most likely stopped beating about twenty-four hours ago. The bleeding and pains your wife experienced were her body-"

"Twenty-four hours ago?" Sam repeated. "You-You mean for a whole day I-I've been carrying around my dead child?"

"Sam," Freddie said softly, trying to find something to comfort her, but for once, he couldn't think of anything to say to her.

"I'm going to be sick," Sam said, her voice shaking. "I-I'm going to throw up."

One of the nurses hurried over with a large bucket and held back Sam's hair as she vomited.

Freddie looked back up at the doctor. "What-How-"

"There could've been a variety of reasons," the doctor explained softly. "But we don't know for sure."

Freddie closed his eyes, feeling his own tears welling. How was it less than two hours ago him and Sam were picking out names for this child?

He felt like punching the wall, or screaming at the top of his lungs or doing something to attempt to rid himself of the horrible feelings of grief and shock that was coursing through his body. But he looked over at Sam, who was now crying so hysterically that she had two nurses at her side trying to calm her down.

He couldn't break down in front of her too.

"Sam, I-I know," Freddie whispered, his voice cracking as his own tears fell onto her hand as he gave it a gentle squeeze. "I know."

"I lost our baby, Freddie," Sam cried.

"No, Sam, this-this wasn't your fault," Freddie said.

Sam didn't respond, she just continued to cy.

Freddie slowly got to his feet and stepped back over to the doctor.

"What now?" he asked heavily.

"We're going to have to bring her into delivery," the doctor said. "When-When this happens this far along in the pregnancy, we still have to go through with the birthing process to remove-"

"I-When would that be?" Freddie asked, feeling overwhelmingly nauseous himself now. "Sam, she-she isn't in any condition to do that. She-She'd lose it if you told her she was going to have to give birth to our-our-"

"I'm sorry, but we need to do it now, or your wife will be at risk for infections," the doctor replied. "Her body is already working to adapt to this sudden change. But she will be asleep for the entire procedure."

Freddie sighed as he looked back over at Sam. It broke his heart even more.

"Alright," Freddie said hoarsely. "I-I'll tell her. Just…please make sure she doesn't feel anything. I-I don't want her to suffer more than-more than she is now."

"Of course," the doctor nodded. "I'll send word for a room to be set up for her."

Freddie nodded then turned to return to Sam's side. As he did, his eyes fell on the bump of her stomach. The bump that once housed what was supposed to be their fifth creation together.

He let out a soft sob as he fell back into his seat.

"How could I not have known sooner?" Sam whispered, staring down at him. "I-I never even felt it when-when-"

Freddie shook his head. "I don't know," he answered honestly.

Sam lifted her hand and let it hover for a moment before carefully setting it down on her abdomen. She looked over at the doctor.

"You told us at the last doctors visit you could tell us the sex if we wanted," Sam said faintly. "And we told you we wanted to wait until the baby was born to know…Like-Like we've always done. Can-Can you tell us now? Now that there's-there's no reason to wait."

She let out a quiet cry, and Freddie mustered up enough strength to put an arm around her.

The doctor nodded sympathetically. "You were having a girl," he told her.

Sam and Freddie's eyes met.

"Annabelle," Freddie whispered.

…..

"I think we should be home from the hospital in a few hours," Freddie sighed, his ear pressed against his phone as he leaned against the wall of the hospital hallway. "But, listen, um, I-I know you've already had the kids all day yesterday, but-but I really think we're going to need one more day to-to just really work through all this and figure out what we're going to tell all of them. Would-Would you mind-"

"Freddie, they can stay with me as long as you need," Carly said on the other line. "I-I'm just so sorry for you guys. I can't even imagine what this must be like for you. How's-Is Sam doing any better?"

"No," Freddie answered. "She-She's convinced this is all her fault. She says she should've realized something was wrong sooner. I-I've been telling her over and over again that that's not true but, well, I-I can't get through to her. She's depressed. They-They did the procedure to-to get the baby out of her but she's still just so…and-and I don't even know what to do to try and make her feel better because every time I go to say something, I-I just start to break down too."

"Oh Freddie," Carly said gently.

"Look, I-I need to go," Freddie said, quickly wiping his eyes, where a few stray tears had escaped. "I'll-I'll call you later when we're ready to come pick up the kids."
"Don't worry about that, I'll drop them off whenever you want me to."

"Alright," Freddie nodded. "Thanks, Carly."

He hung up the phone. For a moment, he simply stood there, lost in his own thoughts. Then, letting out a long sigh, he turned and headed back into Sam's room.

He was relieved to see his wife was asleep. She had barely slept since she had gotten out of the procedure the previous day, and Freddie hoped that with some rest, she's at least feel a little better.

Although he couldn't imagine that hope actually playing out.

The second he sat down in the chair next to her, Sam's eyes flew open.

"Did I wake you?" Freddie asked.

"No," Sam mumbled. "Couldn't sleep."

Freddie nodded. "Right. Well, um, I just filled out all your discharge papers, so once the doctor comes back to check you out one last time, we can head home. You-You're going to need to take it easy for the next couple of weeks. And-And one of your nurses gave me your prescriptions to have filled, so I'll take care of those for you."

Sam said nothing.

"Carly's willing to keep the kids a little longer once we get back," Freddie continued. "So-So you and I-"

"You think this is because I forgot to take those prenatal vitamins a couple of times?" Sam cut him off. "There were a few mornings when I was just so busy that it completely slipped my mind."

"Sam, that-that's not the reason," Freddie said gently.

"It might be!" Sam snapped. "They make you take those things for a reason!"

"You don't need to be doing this to yourself," Freddie said. "Trying to find some way to point the finger at you."

Sam looked away from him.

Freddie opened his mouth to speak again, but decided against it at the last second. For the first time in their entire marriage, he had no idea what to say to her.

…..

"Remember," Freddie said a few hours later as him and Sam stepped into their empty house. "Just try and take it easy. Sit down on the couch and-"

"Does it make a difference anymore?" Sam scoffed.

She collapsed into an armchair and curled herself into a ball. "I just don't understand," she said softly. "Why'd this have to happen?"

"I don't think there's a clear-cut reason," Freddie told her. "I think-"

"Was it all the stuff I ate?" Sam asked. "Maybe there was some sort of chemical that was in the food that-"

"Sam, you've got to stop this!" Freddie said firmly. "Blaming yourself isn't going to change what happened. This wasn't you fault and-"

"How could this not be my fault?"

"Do you want to blame someone?" Freddie said. "Fine. Blame me! You think I haven't been thinking about how I could've somehow prevented this? I left you home with four kids under ten for eight hours a day! I put you under huge amounts of stress by making you stay here with the kids all day when you could've been resting! If I had just thought and looked into getting some extra help around here or had taken less hours-"

"But the baby wasn't growing inside of you!" Sam exclaimed. "You weren't the one she was completely dependent on! You weren't the one who affected her with everything you did! You weren't the one who didn't even realize that for twenty-four hours she-she was-"

Freddie quickly sat down on the arm of her chair, wrapping his arms around her, his own tears falling with hers.

"I mean how sick and twisted is that?" Sam cried.

"I know," Freddie said. "But Sam, you've got to believe me when I tell you this isn't your fault. Please."
Sam sighed. "I'll try," she said honestly. "But…I don't know if I can."

The two were silent for several moments as they both sat together, holding one another.

"This is going to be the hardest thing we've ever had to deal with," Freddie finally spoke. "We-We lost a child. But…we're going to have to get through it. We have four other kids who we need to be here for."

"God…how are we even supposed to begin to explain this to them?" Sam mumbled. "They've been excited for months about this baby. Now we have to tell them that there isn't going to be a baby?"

"It-It's going to be difficult for everybody," Freddie agreed. "But…But for right now, let's focus on us. Let's take the rest of today to-to try and just be here for each other and-and try to accept this all before we talk to the kids-"

"Accept this?" Sam spat. "Oh, so we're just supposed to accept this and get over it in, what, a few days?"

"That's not what I'm saying," Freddie said.

"I can't do this," Sam cut him off, getting to her feet.

Freddie watched as she headed out the sliding glass door onto the patio. He thought about following her for a moment, but his legs didn't seem to want to work. He buried his face in his hands and let out long moan.

This isn't the way this was supposed to be, he thought to himself. Today I was supposed to be going through old baby clothes with Sam figuring what we were going to save…not doing…this. This is so messed up…all of this.

…..

Sam didn't even notice when the sky darkened. She had no clue how long she sat outside, staring at nothing in particular. She was so lost in all her thoughts that the concept of time seemed to get lost.

She looked down at her stomach where, just a few, short days ago, her unborn daughter was kicking away happily.

She wondered how long she was going to feel like this…as though a piece of her own self had been snatched up and taken away from her forever.

I was supposed to protect you, Sam thought sadly as her fingers traced over the scar on her abdomen. And I couldn't even do that. Isn't that supposed to be my first job? Protecting my kids?

She looked out at the yard, spotting the swing set Freddie had built for Jason for his fifth birthday. Him, Emma and Ashton all loved climbing around and playing on it. Even Tyler was beginning to enjoy toddling around the slide.

At the thought of her four kids, Sam let out another soft cry. They really were going to be heartbroken. And would they even truly understand all of this? They were all so young still…They were really going to need her to get through this themselves.

They still need me, Sam thought slowly to herself. They can't get through this by themselves…And-And neither can I.

She took a deep breath and heaved herself up to her feet and headed back into the house.

The living room was dark and empty; a rare phenomenon for the Benson house, for at this time, the television would normally be blaring and someone would be chasing somebody around the coffee table or yelling at the top of his or her lungs.

Sam didn't have to call out for her husband. She knew where he would be.

Sure enough, as she climbed upstairs, she saw the light was on in the nursery. She could also hear a few faint sobs coming from the room as well.

Sam stepped into the nursery to find Freddie sitting in front of a halfway-disassembled crib, his head buried in his hands. She silently sat down by his side and put an arm around him.

Freddie jerked his head up at once, surprised by her arrival.

"Sam, I-I didn't hear you come in," Freddie sniffed, quickly wiping his eyes. "I-I just thought it-it would be a good idea to-to get this taken down. You know, since-since we-"

"I'll help," Sam said.

"No, no, that's okay," Freddie said at once. "You don't have to worry about this."

"Freddie," Sam whispered. "I-I know you've been trying to be strong for-for me. But this is hard for the both of us. So…let me be strong for you now."

Freddie squeezed his eyes shut, dropping the screwdriver that he had been holding in his hand.

"I just hate this, Sam," he said, his voice shaking.

Sam held him tightly against her. "I hate it too, Freddie."

….

"Carly's pulling into the driveway now," Freddie said heavily, looking out the window the next day.

"Alright," Sam mumbled from her seat. "I guess…I guess this is it then. They probably know something wrong already…I mean, why else would they have spent the last three days at Carly's?"

There was a knock at the front door, and Freddie took a deep breath before answering. Sure enough, Jason, Emma, and Ashton all had confused looks on their faces.

"Um, hey guys," Freddie said.

"Daddy? How come we stayed with Aunt Carly for three days?" Ashton asked at once.

"Yeah, how come-" Jason started.

"Listen, guys, you-your mom and I are going to talk to you," Freddie said as he took a sleeping Tyler from Carly. As he felt his son in his arms, Freddie took a moment to wish that all his children were as young and naïve as him. It would make all this so much easier.

As the three older children filed inside, Carly looked up at Freddie.

"I didn't tell them anything," she said. "But they did ask a lot of questions…"

"We figured," Freddie nodded. "Um, Carly, thank you so much for-"

"Of course," Carly said. "I-I just wish…I'm so sorry, Freddie."

"So are we," Freddie sighed.

"I know you guys probably want to just be with each other right now," Carly continued. "But if there's anything I can do, anything you need, you know you can call me."

"We know," Freddie said, using all his strength to pull on a smile. "We'll see you, Carly."

Closing the door, Freddie turned and retreated back into the living room where Jason, Emma and Ashton were all sitting expectantly on the sofa. He handed Tyler to Sam, taking a moment to notice that she seemed almost determined to hold him closer than she ever had before.

"Well," Freddie slowly began. "Okay. Jason, Emma, Ashton…me and mommy know that you've been kind of in the dark these past few days over at Aunt Carly's. But, well, the thing is…we've been having to deal with some very serious stuff here. And, well, I'm afraid we have some very sad news for you all."
He glanced over at Sam, who was staring down at her lap.

"I know all of you were all excited to have another new baby, but…but unfortunately, that-that's not going to be happening anymore," Freddie said, willing himself to keep his voice steady.

"No new baby?" Emma frowned. "How come?"

"Is this because I said I didn't want to share a room with Tyler?" Jason asked. "Because I-I was only kidding!"

"No," Freddie said quickly. "No, that-that's not why."
"Then how come we don't get a new baby anymore?" Ashton pouted.

"Well…um, see-"

"The baby-the baby didn't make it, honey," Sam spoke up softly.

"What do you mean?" Jason asked.

"Something went wrong," Freddie explained. "While-While the baby was inside of your mom. Sometimes that happens when babies are growing in there before they're born. And because of that, the baby-the baby wasn't able to continue growing and-and passed away."

All three children had tears streaming down their cheeks. Sam pulled herself to her feet and sat on the couch next to them, wrapping her arm around them.

"The baby was a girl," Sam told them gently. "She would've been your little sister…her name would've been Annabelle."

"It's not fair," Emma sniffed.

"No," Sam agreed as Freddie joined them on the couch. "No, it's not."

"But we didn't even get to meet her," Jason said weakly.

"I know," Freddie nodded.

"But I loved her," Ashton squeaked. "Already."

"We all did," Sam said, a single tear rolling down her face. "And we always will. We never got to meet Annabelle or hold her or see her grow up, but she'll have a special place in this family."
"That's right," Freddie said. "She'll always be a part of us."