AN-So this chapter is a sequel to chapter 415, which follows the storyline of Sam and Freddie having a baby while they're both still in college.
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Sam struggled to keep her eyes open as she typed away at her computer, working as fast as she could to finish a paper that was due in exactly three hours. She had gotten maybe forty-five minutes of sleep the night before, and she wanted nothing more than to slam her laptop shut and crawl under the covers. Unfortunately, though, that was not an option. If she failed this paper, she would fail her class, and she could not afford to retake it.
Suddenly, a loud cry sounded from the small playpen next to her, startling Sam.
Sam sighed as she quickly closed her laptop and got to her feet, walking over to her daughter.
There was a reason why Sam was behind in every class and why she looked if she hadn't slept in a week. In addition to trying to finish up the semester, she was also busy caring for her and Freddie's three-week old daughter, Carla. Carla seemed to have the gift of knowing just when Sam was the most busy with her schoolwork or the most exhausted, and always picked those times to scream at the top of her lungs. Sam loved her daughter more than anything in the world, but at times like these, she couldn't help but think back to the days before her, when things had been so, so much easier.
"Shh, it's okay, mommy's got you," Sam said, carefully scooping up the infant. "Come on, Carla, mommy's got to finish writing her paper on jury biases. It's super boring, I know, but I need to do good on it so I can be done with the class forever. What do you need? I just fed you twenty minutes ago. You don't need a new diaper…What is it?"
She gently bounced Carla in her arm, rubbing smooth circles on her tiny back, but nothing seemed to work.
Sam sighed heavily. When Carla got in these moods, it sometimes took over an hour to calm her down. An hour she didn't have. She already asked her professor for an extension on this paper, and she knew she wouldn't get another one.
"Carla…please," Sam said desperately, feeling tears of frustration welling up in her eyes. "Just-Just stop crying for a little bit, okay? Mommy has to finish this paper."
Just then the front door opened and Carly walked in.
"Hey," she said cheerfully.
"Carla, come on, I don't know what you want from me," Sam moaned, ignoring her best friend's greeting. "I fed you, I changed you, I'm holding you…what else is there?"
"Is she in one of her crying moods again?" Carly asked.
"Yeah," Sam said shakily. "You know how she gets…I don't know why she does this. The doctor says it's normal and to just ride it out with her, but I can't right now! I have a ten page paper due in two hours and fifty-six minutes and I'm on page three! I feel like I'm about to collapse any minute from lack of sleep, and I can't even make myself any coffee to try and wake up because I'm nursing Carla and-"
"Here, I'll take her," Carly said, holding out her arms. "You worry about your paper."
"No," Sam mumbled. "No, that's okay…you have your own finals and stuff to worry about."
"I just spent all morning at the library," Carly told her. "I can take a break."
Break? Sam thought to herself. She thinks this is a break? Must be real nice…
"Come on, she is my goddaughter, I want to spend time with her," Carly said. "Especially since you two are moving out in two weeks."
"I-Okay," Sam conceded, handing her daughter over, knowing she was wasting valuable time. "Her red stuffed monkey on my bed usually calms her down…go get that. And-And she also likes it when you rock her in that rocking chair in there."
"Alright," Carly nodded, taking Carla in her arms. "Come on, Carla, let's give mommy some peace and quiet to do her paper."
Sam rubbed her eyes as she sat back down at the kitchen table, opening her laptop.
At least Freddie will be back next week, Sam reminded herself. It will be easier then.
Freddie was finishing his last classes at MIT, upon Sam's insisting. He would graduate then (though not with honors as he had been planning last year), and then him, Sam and Carla would move into their own apartment a few floors down from here. Freddie said he'd find a job as soon as he'd got back while Sam continued to work on her degree. Truthfully, though, she didn't she much point in that anymore. It would be so much simpler if she just gave up on her own degree so Freddie could focus on own career. But Freddie was dead set against that.
Just one more week, and then hopefully things will be better, Sam thought to herself, pulling up her paper again. Hopefully.
…
"I'm going to start sending out my resume tomorrow morning," Freddie said as he snapped up the buttons of Carla's pajamas. "Hopefully I get some leads. I mean…I know I didn't graduate at the top of my class like-like I was planning on, but still, a degree from MIT should secure me a pretty decent job. Hopefully if I work all through the summer, I'll have enough saved up come Fall for us to hire a sitter or something for Carla to watch her while you go back to school. Once you finish this semester, you only have two more, right?"
"Right," Sam nodded, watching as Freddie picked Carla up, kissing the top of her head.
"I missed her so much while I was away at school," Freddie said softly. "I thought about you two all the time."
He carefully placed her in her crib. "Hey, I need to really go and finish painting Carla's room in the new place. Once that's done we can be ready to move in there soon. You need anything before I go down there?"
Sam looked down at her lap, shaking her head. "No."
"You okay?" Freddie frowned, sitting down on the bed next to her.
Sam looked up at him. "We're not even celebrating your graduation from one of the best colleges in the country," she whispered. "You-You didn't walk at your graduation. You-You got off a plane two hours ago and now you're going to go do more work?"
"Sam, I don't need-"
"I always planned on flying out their for your graduation," Sam sighed. "So I could see you graduate with honors…you'd show me around your campus, telling me about all the crazy computers they have around there. Then we'd go out to celebrate at some super fancy restaurant and I'd pay for you for once because it was such a huge day."
She shook her head. "Now…now we're not doing any of that…"
"Sam, it's okay," Freddie told her. "I-I don't care about any of that. It's not important. What's important is me getting a job so we can support our daughter. Then next year when you finish your degree, you'll get a job too, and then we'll both be fine. We'll be bringing in a decent income, we can find a bigger place…it will all work out."
"Freddie…I'm getting a degree in criminology," Sam sighed. "That degree isn't going to get me some big fancy job like you. It was supposed to get me into law school, and then that's where I'd be getting set to make the big bucks."
"Well then…you'll go to law school if you want," Freddie said. "I do think you'll make a great lawyer."
"Baby, you know I can't," Sam said. "You know how much work that would be? I can barely keep up with my classes and Carla now. Me going to law school…it-it just isn't going to happen."
"Well…okay, maybe not right now," Freddie said slowly. "But maybe once Carla gets a little older you can go! You're young, you have time."
Sam didn't reply.
"Just…just keep it open as an option," Freddie said, putting his arms around her. "Don't make giving up your default option. If going to law school is your dream, I want to make sure it happens."
Sam gave him a small smile. "You know, I used to think your optimism was annoying…now, I guess it's kind of coming in handy."
"We're going to be alright," Freddie told her again, giving her a quick kiss. "I promise."
Sam nodded. "But…at least let me take you out for dinner next weekend, okay? I mean, you did just graduate from MIT. Mine and Carly's finals will be over and-and maybe she'll be willing to babysit for us."
"Deal," Freddie said, giving her one last kiss. "Alright, well, I'll be down in the apartment. Let me know if you need me."
Sam watched as Freddie headed out of the room. She slowly got to her feet and stepped over to Carla's crib, looking down at her peacefully sleeping daughter. Sam couldn't help but smile. The moments of screaming and three A.M. feedings and exhaustion all seemed to pale in comparison to ones like this.
Sam gently stroked her daughter's dark hair. She was definitely the spitting image of Freddie.
"I love you so much, Carla," Sam whispered. "You're the best thing that's happened in my life…no matter what. And-And sometimes mommy and daddy are going to be really stressed…sometimes things might feel kind of hard for us. But-but just know that none it will be your fault. We both love you, and we're going to do whatever we have to do to make sure that you have the best possible life."
She leaned down and kissed her. "We'll be okay," she said softly.
