Summary: It should be a joyous day for Marco Diaz, but when fear and anxiety weigh him down like an avalanche, he needs his shelter from the cold.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
The grandfather clock swayed back and forth, the seconds ticking by as time unerringly marched forward. A figure, decked out in royal attire and curled up on the bed, followed along to its slow but steady rhythm in the twilight seeping through the windows, unsure as to whether or not slumber would be preferable to his current condition. Normally, in a situation as uneasy as his, he might have been content to turn in early and try to clear his mind in preparation for the inevitable. But when that inevitable might never end? Perhaps, he thought, it wasn't such a bad idea to hold off on tomorrow as long as possible, given the events of today.
Today, he took on the title of Prince Marco Diaz.
Of course, he'd known this day was coming for quite a while. Throughout the four years he and Star had been together, the implications of a future with her had always lurked somewhere in the recesses of his mind. It rose much more quickly to the surface in the weeks leading up to his proposal, but the exhilaration when she accepted filled his heart with such warmth that he was only now coming down from the high. Telling his friends and family was equal parts joyous and stressful, but announcing it to the people of the kingdom was… another story entirely.
"Marriage for the sake of love, hmph. Because that worked out so well with our last King."
"He's rather lucky that the Queen is so impulsive, otherwise I'd find it hard to believe he'd be necessary."
"What could that Earth boy possibly know about ruling a kingdom?"
Marco grumbled and rolled over face-first into his pillow. Some of the audience at their big announcement today weren't quite so keen on Star's choice of prince, and that was only the ones who were fairly vocal about it; who knew how many more simply put on a happy facade? Years of self-doubt seemed to pile up on his shoulders on this evening that should have been a celebration, weighing him down until he felt like he couldn't bear-
"Marco, are you in here?" Star's voice from outside of the closed door broke Marco out of his depressive thoughts. He hesitated for a moment before rolling back over toward the door and grunting in acknowledgment of the question. "Alright, we were all worried about you, you just disappeared! You missed Ponyhead get wasted and hit on Tom, I thought Janna was going to turn her into a stuffed animal on the spot." Star said as she bounded into the room, over to the bed, and lay next to him. "Anyway, how does it feel being official now, my prince?" she crooned.
Marco stared at the ceiling and sighed. "It still doesn't quite feel real, I guess. 'Marco Diaz, Prince of Mewni'. Like it's all some fairytale or something, I just… it's hard to believe, right?"
"Boop!" Star squealed out as she poked and pinched his nose. "Now you know it's not a dream." Marco couldn't help but return a small smile at her vibrant antics despite his own inner turmoil, but it left as quickly as it came. "Is something wrong?"
"N-no, everything's all good, Star." He swallowed as he tried to meet her gaze, his guts squirming harder than he ever remembered them doing.
She sat up and hovered over him, leaning down over his face. Her eyes bored into his, emanating a deep concern which only served to twist his insides a little bit more. "Are… are you not happy with this? Talk to me, Marco, please. You don't have to hide things from me, you're my best friend, lifeline, soulmate, fiancé..." Her lips starting a journey from his jawline, punctuating each title with a brief kiss, until she finally met his own lips, lingering there for a fraction longer.
"It's fine, I'm fine, just, y'know, it's a lot to take in, Star. I want to be here, you know that, but it's just a big change! I'm just some guy from Earth, what do I know about running a kingdom? I'll just mess it up, like a Marco."
Star's brow furrowed. "Marco, you-"
She moved her hand to stroke his cheek, but he quickly sat up, backing up a bit and facing her. "I thought that maybe I could learn, if I studied all the precedents and statutes and traditions, maybe then I could fool myself into thinking I'd actually be the right guy for the job." It felt like a dam was bursting inside of his chest as he spoke, all of his anxieties overflowing after the day's events. "And… I heard the crowd, I heard all their little comments, it just made me wonder that even more."
"I'm sorry, Marco, I didn't know…" Star meekly stated, her eyes downcast.
"You don't have to apologize, Star, this is on me. You're a great queen, you're already ruling Mewni your way just like you've always wanted, but sometimes I think maybe those people are right. Is it even best that I'm here? I love you Star, I love you so much, but this is way bigger than us. Maybe Mewni would be better off without me. Maybe… maybe you'd be better off without-"
She launched herself at him then, arms fiercely wrapping around him into what felt like the tightest embrace they'd ever shared. Marco choked down the tears he didn't know he was holding in, searching for a sliver of the relief he would normally feel from being in her arms. But right now, it still eluded him.
When the silent warmth of her hug left him, Star cupped his face and pressed her forehead to his. Marco felt as though his very soul was being pierced by her cerulean gaze, her tears being held back as if by resolve alone. She took a deep breath and steeled herself before speaking. "Marco Ubaldo Diaz, I want you to listen to me. Don't ever say that again, you hear me? I'll never be better off without you. Sure, some people are gonna say stupid and horrible things about you, or me, or us, but none of that matters. We're gonna be the best king and queen we can possibly be because we're gonna do it together. And it's not just us, either. We've got Tom, and Pony, and our parents, and Buff Frog and all the monsters, and corn knows who else behind us - behind you."
"Yeah, I know you're right, it's just…" They'd drifted a bit apart, Marco's arms now resting on their tangled legs as hers draped over his shoulders. Some part of him knew she was right, knew that this crazy ride he'd been on for years would keep moving forward and all turn out okay, but like always those fears drowned out reason. But time and time again, they'd manage to keep each other afloat. And as his own thoughts flailed around in that murky water, he finally grasped the last thing anchoring him down. "All that support is great, but… I don't want to let you down. Those stuck-up royals, our friends, even myself… I could survive through disappointing them, but not you."
"Even if you screw up, even if we shout at each other, even if I get really mad and turn your hoodie into a big red snake or something… you'll never disappoint me because I love you, and you're everything to me. I need your wisdom, your comfort, your laughter, and your love. I'll always need my home, Marco, and that's you." Now the waterworks finally burst forth, but for Marco it was a feeling of comfort and shelter, like a blanket and a cup of cocoa inside a cabin during a snowstorm; whatever war was being waged in his mind, she always managed to prove that she was his home, too. They pressed forward as one and met in the middle for a gentle but passionate kiss. In the following seconds, Marco felt more truly calm and content than he had in days. It was a long road ahead of him, he still knew it would never be easy, but for once he felt like he was ready to walk it. When they broke away to catch their breaths, Star quickly began unbuttoning Marco's jacket and casted it to the floor; he only began to question her when she moved on to his shirt and then pants.
Marco's eyes widened at her delicate touch. "Um, Star… Here? Now? Isn't the party still going… on..." he inquired, baffled, but didn't protest. She ignored him and kept working at his clothing until he was down to just his underwear, then abruptly stopped and sat on her knees to begin unzipping her overly poofy dress. When she struggled with it, like in many times past, she gave Marco her most adorable pouty expression that always did the trick, and tonight was no exception. Marco chuckled and wrapped himself around her to continue the undressing. More garments fell on the floor around the couple as they exchanged light kisses and loving caresses, but she stopped him before he could completely finish his work, leaving him in a mix of confusion and excitement - which was fairly expected with Star, he mused, no matter the circumstance. Before he could blink, Star leapt up to the dresser and tossed him a pair of his softest pajamas while throwing a silk nightgown over her lithe frame.
Marco finished putting them on right as Star hopped back in bed, kicking the rumpled blanket and sheet to the foot of the bed to make room. She pushed him down onto his back and shimmied in between his strong arms, their legs tangling up in an all-too-familiar intimacy. When she pulled the covers back over them, she finally had a satisfied sigh and wrapped herself around him fully. "It's been a long day, and I think we could both use some cuddling. The party will be just fine without us, let someone else rein in Pony for a change. I want to be here for you, because you're the one that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with and you deserve it more than anything. So watcha gotta say about that, Prince Diaz?"
He chuckled as he settled his warm, loving gaze on Star, the well of his tears finally running dry. "It would be my honor, Queen Butterfly." He placed a tender kiss to the top of her head and no more words needed said. Minutes later, Marco could hear Star's breathing slow down as she finally drifted off; he pulled her even tighter into himself, never wanting to let go, for sleep had yet to claim him.
Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.
It was silent enough for Marco to once again hear the grandfather clock ticking away, but his destiny no longer seemed like something to run from or dread. In the best or worst of times, as long as Star and Marco had each other, he could eagerly await its arrival all the same.
A/N: I'm not dead! I wrote this as a self-indulgent birthday present to myself, so if y'all like it then that's just a bonus for me. Fanfiction writing is something I always want to do until the actual thought of writing creeps up on me and I freeze up, like I did all summer. No promises on anything, unfortunately but stay tuned!
Also check out my Tumblr, Ngame989 - I'm super active there now, theorizing and analyzing and reblogging Starco art. I have a giant post about my thoughts on Season 4 there called "Earning the Happily Ever After", so that's neat.
Review Responses:
Useful76: I did have some fun with the S4 poster scene, yeah. It probably won't even be in the show but I can dream, right?
acosta perez: Thanks! Hopefully I'll be more in the swing of things again with school starting and a more structured schedule, we'll see.
Sugar: Yeah, I really do love Tomco as a solid friendship, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of it as they put the romance drama behind them in S4.
