"There are alas her eyes; the elixir to soothe my aching heart." - Rashid
Street Fighter: Porcelain
'Please enjoy the rest of your life.' Words echoed through the vacant hall of his heart's ruins. Amanti's sweet voice sounded so cheerful even in her final hours. Rashid could still hear her voicemail playing in his head over and over again. Her smile was the sun that brightened his world, her voice like the life-giving wind in his lungs, and her presence like the gravity that kept him on solid ground.
…And now all of that was gone. Without the sun his blood ran cold. Without the wind his lungs swelled with fire. Without gravity, his mind was in eternal chaos. His world was over despite the smile he wore to mask away the apocalypse beneath his skin.
The clouds of the night gathered overhead. Rashid was far off from the big city, and instead roamed the open land with his guardian Azam. They set up camp roadside, as Rashid wanted to talk to clear his mind. The world was too beautiful to pass up in a vehicle at all times. Amanti enjoyed walks like that as well. She was so spontaneous that even stopping roadside to run into the fields was common for his adventures with his dear friend. She was always smiling, always free, and it inspired him since the day they met. She never said 'thank you' until it was too late. Her final words were digitally immortalized, and for all the things he'd ever done for her, there was one thank you to cover them all.
The two letter word wasn't really what Rashid wanted to hear. There was a three lettered word that would have meant much more. Perhaps she didn't feel the same way he did for her. It was expected, but if there was any other time to confess it, her last voicemail would have been it.
The clouds turned darker as the light of the sun faded and painted a portrait of orange into light blue over Rashid's contemplative expression. He sat in his tent with the front opened to let the light and air in. Azam had his own tent, mostly due to the fact he needed his privacy to keep up with Butler affairs, but Rashid also needed his own space for a while. He dressed down for the night and was left in his favored white tank top and white pants to sleep in. The ever present scent of insect repellent was all around, thanks to Azam's over-readiness for the open world.
"I shouldn't have kissed her." Rashid said to himself. His conscious forced the words out of his mouth quietly as the moonlight illuminated him. He repeated the words every few seconds, trying to convince himself he was wrong for acting out on what his heart wanted. Amanti looked so surprised after their initial kiss, he remembered. They shared another, but she eventually pulled away from him very gently. At first he was worried about his technique and his facial hair. He'd read on the net that facial hair could make the kissing experience a bit more ticklish for the partner, and that worried him a lot more than his technique. She was nice enough to let him down softly. She proceeded talking as if they hadn't kissed at all. She kept being his friend, she kept being herself, and he never tried to engage again.
That may have been a fatal mistake.
The churning clouds eventually cried with him, though his misty eyes hardly matched the intensity of showers outside of his tent. This wasn't truly a storm, as the winds were entirely calm. This was the world giving the young man permission to feel. It was alright, as Amanti would tell him. With sleep on the horizon, Rashid zipped up his tent for the night, and turned on his phone for his source of light. Minutes rolled by in total silence, until a wrench was thrown into his solace.
The rip and roar of a motorcycle rang out like thunder on the road. However, it came to a sudden stop.
Rashid sat up and placed his phone facedown. His left fist tightened as he gently pulled the zip of his tent to peek outside. He expected an attacker, but instead he saw a slightly familiar face climbing off of her bike. She was attempting to shelter herself from the rain, and walked off the road toward the pair of tents.
Surely she came in peace, right? Rashid opened his tent up entirely and stepped out into the rain, beckoning the woman over. Her exquisite frame and curvature made his heart spring with a flame he thought to be dormant at the moment. He strategically looked away from her almost entirely revealed cleavage to look at the interior of his tent. "Here! If you seek shelter, I can help!"
The woman approached faster now, and once close enough she ducked inside the tent's interior, dripping head to toe in rain water. Rashid ducked in behind her and zipped the tent back up to keep the rain from getting in. Lucky for him, it was large enough to house the two of them. Even more so that there was plenty of space for him to feel safe. "How did you know I was out here, Miss Han?"
Juri sat with her legs crossed just a few feet away from him. "I didn't. A couple campers in the middle of nowhere? Yeah…hiding bodies are easier that way."
"Surely!" Rashid laughed, but Juri did not. As such, his laughter became more of a question rather than reaction. "Er…so! I have towels! One moment!" He rummaged through his backpack and produced a blue body towel for Juri to dry herself with. He had another, but he lightly dabbed it about his face and neck to dry the rain water. "According to my weather app, the rain should pass by morning. I'll stay awake with you. I do not wish to make you uncomfortable."
Juri laughed quietly as she dried herself. "You think you make me uncomfortable?"
"Well…yes!" Rashid nervously explained. "It is quite uncomfortable for a beautiful woman and a man to…well…for the opposing genders in which are not of any relation to sleep in the same space." He was already kicking himself in his mind for bringing such a thing up. "I wouldn't wish you to believe me a vile man. We are not familiar enough to fall asleep in each other's presence…!"
"Cut the fourteen year old crap." Juri sighed. "You're not even my type. You're too much of a loser."
"Well, that's not very nice."
"I don't know. Would be kinda fun breaking your bones if you turned out to be a perv." Juri giggled and tossed her towel back at Rashid's face. "Or maybe you've got it all wrong, Rashid. Maybe I'm the perv, and you're just my type of prey?"
Rashid gulped. Such words made him uneasy rather than 'excited' in any way. "Then I would be forced to defend myself and cast you out of my camp. I do not think this is very funny, Miss Han."
Juri rolled her uncovered eye and leaned forward in her seated position. "Like I said. Too much of a loser." She taunted him further and placed her cheek against her fist. "You missed some rain on your face, by the way. Looks like you've been cryin' or something."
"Me? Crying?" He laughed, though his façade failed him after hours of recalling his time with his dear friend. "I'm not that much of a loser, Miss Han."
"Sure you're not." She said flatly.
The lack of interest she was feeling made Rashid feel guilty. Her constant taunts were hammering nails into the already splintered boards of his act. "I lost a friend." All cheer was devoid in his tone. His eyes cast down to the sleeping bag he sat on. As he rubbed the side of his neck to try and comfort himself, he felt brave enough to dismiss her 'loser' claims by telling the truth. "I did everything I could to find her, but I was too late. She died and there wasn't anything I could do about it."
"Sounds like you loved this chick." Juri's eye wandered back to him by the time he looked up.
The violet color in her eyes stunned him. He hadn't stared at them at length, and he felt himself to be intrigued. However, it was impolite to keep a woman waiting for an answer. "I…did, yes. We were childhood friends. She just didn't feel the same about me, I'm afraid. That's perfectly fine, too. Our friendship is the most important thing to me."
"You probably weren't aggressive enough." She said insightfully. "When I see something I want, I go get it. Girls are always shy until you leave them few options in my experience. Then again, I don't do the whole love crap. That's all just a myth."
"It's really not." He scoffed. "Love is a lot like music. You have to find the right tune for you, or else it's just background noise." His hand touched her shoulder. Strain came over his heart on contact. She looked at him again, but this look seemed more annoyed than usual. Still, the way her brows lowered and her eye gazed at him brought a playful smile to his face. It was just a little fun to annoy her back.
"You must really want to lose that entire arm. Jeeze, ya could at least ask first." She didn't smile, but she didn't shy away from him either. "Not too big on music myself…never have time for that sort of stuff."
"Do you know how to dance?" He removed his hand returned to setting it over his knee. "I could perhaps introduce you to one of my favorite songs!"
Juri grumbled under her breath, but spoke up while looking away from him. "None of your damn business." She poked around inside of the tent, kind of peeking into his backpack for anything interesting outside of their conversation.
"Come on!" He whined. "I confessed to crying about my friend…as well as being in love with her. Miss Han, if we are to be friends I would expect you to at least let me know something about you."
"I dated a guy who could dance when I was a kid. Then I broke his legs for upstaging me." She mumbled.
Rashid tilted his head curiously. "Oh? I can't tell if you're joking or…"
"Let's just put it this way." She faced him again. "I know how to move. My old man made sure I was proper and all that crap. What makes you think I wanna dance in this cramped tent?"
"Oh, no no, Miss Han! We'd be dancing in the rain! It's a little more than drizzle..!" Of course that was an exaggeration. While it wasn't a downpour, it was still steady. "Just one song, and if you don't like it, I'll…um…" He hadn't thought that far. After some consideration, Rashid held a single finger up. "I'll…let you break something of mine! A finger! Hand…!" He gulped. "…Arm?"
"Not interested…" She looked away again. "Cut this crap out. You're startin' to piss me off." She was flustered. Embarrassed, maybe. She was an expert fighter, but no one, and she meant no one could know she had two left feet when it came to dancing.
"Well…" Rashid unzipped the tent while making his offer. "I'll pay for the fuel for your bike! I am certain you are on a grand journey, and any help would be of great benefit. Come on, just one dance. I'll disprove this myth and introduce you to music!"
"What the hell are you doing?! You're gonna get us both soaked you dumb ass!" Juri's face reddened as she felt the pressure to perform coming over her. Already she could feel her father's glare at her stage performances, and hear her mother's often overly supportive claps in the audience she performed in front of as a child.
"The song of choice is only two minutes! Come on, are you afraid to have a little fun?"
"I donno, breaking your face sounds pretty freakin' fun right now! Close the damn tent!" Shed arched away from the tent opening like a cat trying to get away from water.
Rashid turned music on over his phone. He reached over to her with his hand opened. "I can only offer my hand in friendship to you. If it's not taken, I'll just dance in the rain alone. I happen to love this song." The song, 'Porcelain' by the Red Hot Chili Peppers played over the rainfall and light rumbles of thunder.
Juri stared at his hand. He was persistent to an annoying degree, but free gas was worth two minutes of rain. "Fine. You got one boring-ass song." She snatched his hand aggressively and led him outside into the rain just about a foot from the tent's light. She put one hand on his shoulder after throwing one of his at her waist. The other hand roughly took his and held it up and out to the side.
"Miss Han…! Not so rough…!"
"Shut up."
"Er…can you at least try to enjoy the song?"
"Your stupid beard better not shed on me."
"Hey! I read on the net that ladies actually like longer beards!"
"Yeah? Well did you read on the net that dancing in the rain is stupid?"
"No. I think it's rather nice, actually."
The two bickered, but sway slowly with the music. Rashid took the lead in this, as he knew the tempo of the music perfectly. It reminded him of Amanti so much. It was one of her favorite songs…and his as well. He smiled down to Juri as they sway together and fussed. She was surprisingly stiff with her movements, but as they cleared the first verse, she'd found her footing nicely. His arm coiled her waist comfortably as the two of them moved to the music.
"So, do you like the song?" Rashid asked.
"It sucks."
"Oh come on now. Doesn't it make you feel calm?"
"I think I'm more of a death metal kinda girl. Got anything like that on your infinite playlist of softness?"
"You're impossible." He laughed. "We'll be out of the rain soon. Just tell me what this song makes you feel, and we'll see how much of a myth it is?"
She closed her eyes. Despite her best efforts, she did feel emotion evoked from the rather soft music. She found herself compelled to be honest. However, if he told anyone she'd kill him. With red across her wet cheeks, she opened her visible eye and spoke under her breath. "…Makes me feel lonely." A feeling she'd tried to evade since the loss of her parents and the life she knew. She'd been so caught up in vengeance that she never really had time to feel anything buy cold. This was…as intimate as she'd been with a man or woman ever.
"It's not supposed to, but I guess the feeling is a bit mutual." He danced with Amanti like this once before. Reliving that memory of her still meant he had to do without her presence.
Juri wanted to say something to throw him off. Anything to get her mind off of how she felt. How weak she felt in the current moment. "So…you just play depressing music all day to get over her?"
"Getting the emotion out helps. I guess…I must feel this way?" The music came to a close, but thankfully it was on a loop.
"I don't like feeling this way." She was cracking. She needed to hurt him. Break something. Push him away. But she couldn't. The girl she was before she became the Spider of S.I.N. was showing her face. The daughter of a lawyer who had exceptional fighting ability, and dreams of having a family of her own one day peeked through the hardened exterior of the ambiguous sadist she became. Her violet eye looked up to him, hoping to syphon some of his strength, or at least find annoyance in his expression. Instead she found comfort with his arm around her waist, and her hand in his. Her fingers adjusted themselves and laced his, and her hand slid between his shoulders. She placed her head to his chest as the song ended. A deal was a deal. One song, one dance.
As the song began its loop, Rashid stopped dancing. "We should probably get back inside now. You might catch cold!"
Juri didn't respond for a few moments, and kept her head there on his chest. As the lyrics began, she peeled herself away from him a short distance. "You're really pathetic, yanno that? Now I'm infected with it." She placed a hand on his chest, and then gripped the tip of his beard lightly.
Rashid was like a porcelain doll in her iron grip. All hers to break or handle gently. Even the slightest amount of power could leave him in ruin. She wasn't Amanti. She never would be. But having someone in his arms in such a way just reminded him of older times. A second chance, perhaps. "There is a cure." He said quietly.
"Yeah?" She chuckled and then spoke in a sultry tone. "Hopefully its cherry flavored. My favorite."
"Wait-what?" Rashid fumbled with his words as he caught the hint she threw at him. "I'm…not entirely sure how to respond to that! The cure is actually getting out of the rain and talking about positive things…!"
Juri scoffed. "You blew it. Just like I figured. I guess I'll really have to break your arm now…too bad." She clutched his hand tighter and twisted his wrist suddenly. She held his arm down with his palm facing up, easily overpowering him as a light glowed behind her eyepatch.
"H-hey!" Rashid cried as he struggled not to make any sudden movements. "I was only kidding about the breaking part!" Panic set in as the ache of his elbow and wrist began to blend from discomfort to pain.
"I wasn't." Juri brushed her tongue over her upper lip to lick the rainwater from it. "So since you wasted my time, I'm going to take this arm with me. Unless you're gonna make it up to me somehow? I'm all ears, loser. Pretty sure you'd give an arm and a leg for me to let you go."
He had the urge to call for Azam, but he kept his voice down. "W-What do I have to do to make it up? Is it money? Trust me, money isn't a problem."
"Well, you went and made me feel something with this stupid song." She motioned her head to the phone that still played the tune. "So, how about we get you some courage to now blow your next opportunity." She paused. The light behind her patch faded and her muscles relaxed. "Kiss me."
His feet felt bolted to the ground and his lungs emptied out suddenly. His eyes were as wide as the moon itself after her request. Her level of seriousness was hard to detect. Her tone was somewhere between teasing, joking, and alluring. Her eyes were deranged, but soft at the moment. Fear of failure gripped his heart, but perhaps it was fear of falling again. Falling, not as in from great heights, but from impossible heights as love was known to be. Despite the fact love took time to develop, there was something about her eye that kept him speechless. The colors of Juri Han painted a rainbow of emotion for him. The violet crystalline color of her eye made him feel calm. The rosy red dashed across her cheeks made his heart flutter with warmth that pooled along his neck and behind his ears. The pink of her tongue made his body tense and tingle all over in anticipation. The stirring of excitement cascaded like a waterfall from his mind, to his heart, and began to pool beneath his waist.
"Well, if you insist." Ever the gentlemen, Rashid gave her ample time to admit she was joking before he made a fool of himself. He leaned forward and paused.
She stood as still as a mountain challenged by the turbulent wind.
His lips parted to speak.
Her lips parted to greet.
Courage was robbed from his being. All that was left was the interior of a broken man attempting to glue the shards of his porcelain heart together little by little. This was but one shard, one step forward in moving on. Space between them became scarce. Their breaths mingled with the scent of the rain around them each. Her fingers curled behind his shoulder to brace herself. Her eye constantly transitioned from his, down to his lips.
When their lips touched, all of the world faded from around Rashid. There was only the sound of music and rain, and a feeling of excitement for the future in his heart. With such a simple embrace of lips and a coil of his arm around her waist, everything came into perspective.
Time ran wild as the wind, as he and Juri spent time together training. He was always bested by her, but it pushed him to become a better man, fighter, and hero. When she needed his help, he was always there. Even if she didn't always thank him immediately, when she did, it was laced in kisses and affection. Juri struggled in the kitchen at times, and had a very strong rivalry with Azam in the kitchen, but it was all harmless humor for Rashid to indulge in. Of course, he wouldn't take sides! His family loved Juri dearly. She was accepted immediately, and one day she would become his wife. They'd return to this camping area every few years and dance together, hopefully in the rain.
Despite time rushing by him with emotions, physically he felt his tongue slipping along hers. He heard only faint fast-forwarded conversations from the future around him, but the appreciative coo of Juri as they kissed overpowered all other sounds. Rashid grew older, and with Juri, they raised a small family. Just as he saw their faces, time rewound. His lips parted from her, and all of the powerfully realistic images became figments of the past.
The two watched one another in silent admiration.
A thousand unspoken words had never been heard so loudly to Rashid.
The next morning, Rashid woke up alone in his tent. He sat up to find the tent opened. There were tire marks in the area near the road. She was gone. She didn't take any money, and as far as he could tell, nothing was broken. He could still feel the warmth of her body against his. Her fingers laced between his as if they were made for such a purpose. Though nothing sexual happened, and he merely held her through the night as per her request, he wouldn't mind doing such again for the rest of his life. But…she was gone now. Too soon.
Another opportunity missed. He should have asked her to stay, just as he should have asked Amanti to stay. He wasn't aggressive enough, as she said. Nice guys finished last…but at least she'd given him a fresh start. "Next time, I won't blow it." Rashid said as he looked out over the open road with a smile.
