Waffle

"Okay Jason, what will it be today?" Sam asked, looking through the freezer. "Waffles or pancakes?"

"Pancakes," four-year old Jason replied.

"Alright," Sam said, pulling out a box of frozen pancakes. "Give me three minutes and I'll have them ready for you."
"You used to make my chocolate chip pancakes that didn't come from the freezer," Jason said. "Why don't you do that anymore, mommy?"

"Because, sweetie, mommy's kind of tired from being six months pregnant," Sam chuckled, putting a hand on her swollen abdomen. She placed a few frozen pancakes on a plate and slid it into the microwave. "But hey, maybe once I start my maternity leave at work, I'll make them for you one day as a special treat."

"Okay," Jason grinned.

"Morning," Freddie said, stepping into the kitchen. He gave Sam a quick kiss before sitting down next to Jason and pulling his son onto his lap. "What's for breakfast?"

"Whatever you make yourself," Sam replied.

"Aw," Freddie frowned. "I wanted eggs."

"Okay," Sam said. "Well tell you what. If you'll hold your unborn child for me for like, ten minutes, I'll get right on that."

"Oh…it's gonna be one of those days isn't it," Freddie sighed. "Alright, well…that's fine. I'll make my own eggs."

"Good," Sam said, setting Jason's breakfast down in front of him. "Make me four."

"Sure," Freddie chuckled, rustling Jason's hair before setting him back down in his seat. "Here, sit down and rest for a little bit."

"Thanks," Sam yawned. "I barely got any sleep last night. I was freezing."

"How? You hogged all the covers!" Freddie pointed out. "You know I kind need some blankets too."

"But daddy, mommy's pregnant," Jason said. "That means she gets whatever she wants until my baby brother or sister is born. Right mommy?"

"That's exactly right, sweetie," Sam beamed, kissing the top of her son's blonde head. "Good boy. Clearly daddy needs to take some lessons from you."

"Nice, you brainwashed our son," Freddie said, rolling his eyes. "And I think I do a very good job of pampering you when you're pregnant."

"You do," Sam assured him. "You know I'm just kidding around."
"I know," Freddie chuckled.

"So what are you doing today?" Sam asked, kicking her feet up on one of the empty chairs. "I was thinking we'd take Jason to the bookstore and let him get a new dinosaur book since he did such a good job helping sort his old baby clothes yesterday."

"Yes!" Jason cheered.

"That sounds fun," Freddie smiled. "But do you think you can handle him there by yourself. I'm meeting Julie today at that Swedish bakery, remember?"

"Oh, right," Sam nodded. "That's fine. I can take him by myself."

"Who's Julie?" Jason asked.

"You met her, remember?" Freddie said. "She's the principal at that really nice preschool we want to try and get you in to."

"Yeah, you liked it when we took you to visit it last week," Sam added. "It had all those cool toys and books and other educational junk-I mean stuff."

"Yeah, that place was fun!" Jason said excitedly. "So I get to go there?"

"Hopefully," Freddie said. He turned back to Sam. "Who knew how hard it was to get into these preschools nowadays. It's probably easier to get into college!"

"I can't believe they expected us to put his name down on that waiting list before he was born," Sam agreed. "At least we know for this next kid…"

"Well at least that Julie seems to like us," Freddie pointed out. "How lucky was it that she used to be a big iCarly fan?"

"I know," Sam nodded. "But remember, when you're out with her today, be super nice! And bring her that gift. I heard that she's a huge fan of those scented candles."

"Got it," Freddie replied. "Oh, and, um, I guess I should warn you that my-my mom mentioned she might drop by today."
"Noooo," Sam moaned. "Why?"

"She wants to see Jason," Freddie told her, handing her a plate of eggs.

"And bug me with all her little pregnancy pointers," Sam snapped. "You know obnoxious she is?"

"Come on, can't-can't you just block her out?" Freddie begged. "Because it's me she bugs and bugs when she doesn't get to come over here. Besides Jason loves seeing grandma, don't you, buddy?"

"Is she going to make me take another tick bath?" Jason asked.

"No," Sam said firmly.

"Look," Freddie sighed. "I-I know she's a bit much, but-but she only meddles and stuff because she cares about you."
"Your mom does not care about me," Sam scoffed.

"Sure she does," Freddie said. "Deep, deep down."

"Yeah, and deep, deep down I have a secret desire to become a vegetarian," Sam muttered darkly. "I'm telling you, dude, she has it out for me. I bet she has our divorce papers all ready to slip onto your desk one day in hopes that you'll sign them without looking at them."

"That's not funny," Freddie said. "Just-Just promise me you'll deal with her if she comes over today, okay? For me?"

"That's my line!"

"Please?" Freddie said again.

Sam sighed. "Fine! I'll be nice if she comes over…even though there's no way you'll ever convince me that she does actually care about me."

…..

"Mrs. Benson!" Spencer moaned as Marissa dragged him along the sidewalk of a local shopping plaza. "Why did I have to come shopping with you?"
"Because," Marissa said impatiently. "I never go shopping by myself! Have you not been following the recent rise of hobos in this city?"

"Mrs. Benson, I doubt a hobo is going to hurt you," Spencer sighed.

"The hobo statistics beg to differ!" Marissa snapped.

"Well didn't you drag Freddie on this little outing with you?" Spencer asked. "He's your son."

"You don't think I tried?" Marissa said. "He didn't answer me when I called this morning; no doubt busy cleaning up one of her messes."

"You mean Sam?" Spencer frowned.

"I know who I mean!" Marissa huffed. She stopped outside of the small, Swedish bakery. "Alright, now I'm going to run in here to pick up some nice decaffeinated tea, since I'm sure Samantha has completely ignored my suggestion to drink two glasses of it every day while she's pregnant with my grandchild. Now you hurry along next door and pick up my special woman's soap from the drugstore."

"Woman's soap?" Spencer sputtered. "Why can't I go to the bakery and get the tea? That sounds so much less…awkward."

"There is nothing awkward about needing a soap that cleanses properly!" Marissa said firmly. "Now go and hurry back!"

Groaning, Spencer turned and started towards the drugstore while Marissa stepped inside the bakery.

She planned to be in and out as quickly as possible so she could swing by her son's house and drop the tea off with Sam, along with some choice advice about the microwavable pizzas she has spotted over there during her last inspection.

I spend my whole life raising Freddie to be the perfect young man, only to have him run off with a girl like her, Marissa thought to herself as she started towards the counter. Goodness knows how much work I'll have to do with those children to make up for her lackadaisical parenting and-

Suddenly, though, she spotted a familiar face in the far corner of the shop. It was Freddie!

Her son was sitting alone at a small table wearing a nice shirt and dress pants.

Oh, look at my darling boy all dressed up! Marissa beamed proudly. At least some of my teaching seems to have stuck with him despite having that wife of his around trying to undermine me. But what is he doing here when he was too busy to answer my calls? I know! He must be here buying me my favorite low-fat coffee bread. He's such a dear! Hopefully Jason and this new grandbaby will inherit that from him instead of Samantha's-

But her train of thought was uprooted as a tall, blonde, unfamiliar young woman walked over to Freddie's table.

Though she was too far away to hear what was being said, she saw Freddie's face light up as he got to his feet.

The woman gave him a hug and a peck on the cheek.

Marissa's eyes widened. What was this? Why was her son, her proper, polite, gentleman of a son meeting a strange woman and kissing her?

Freddie reached down and picked up a bag from next to his seat and handed it to the woman, who opened it up and pulled out a beautiful, expensive looking candle. She looked positively delighted and reached over and gave Freddie another hug, which he returned.

What the Yuck? Marissa thought, horrified of what she was seeing. How dare he? He-He's out here faloodaling with another woman? What is he thinking? How could he do this? He has a family! He has a son and another child on the way! And what about-

Marissa suddenly felt her stomach drop.

What about Sam?

…..

"I'm back!" Freddie announced as he walked back into his house later that day.

"Hey," Sam smiled, turning off the T.V. she had been watching.

"Where's Jason?" Freddie asked, collapsing onto the couch next to her.

"He's next door playing with that Randy kid," Sam replied. "So how'd it go today with Julie?"

"Well," Freddie said slowly. "He's…He's in!"

"No way!" Sam exclaimed. "Are you serious?"

"Shoosh yeah I am!" Freddie grinned as Sam threw her arms around him. "At the end of this month, Jason will start at the most prestigious preschool in Seattle. Well, the most prestigious preschool that doesn't cost more than our house, that is."

"I can't believe it, this is great!" Sam said excitedly. "He's gonna love it there!"

"Yeah, Julie says she thinks he'll fit right in," Freddie nodded. "Speaking of Julie though, man is she a hugger."
"Is she?" Sam laughed.

"Uh-huh!" Freddie nodded. "She must've hugged me a dozen times! Plus she kept kissing my cheek."

"Dude, she's from France," Sam said. "That's what they do over there. It's just there way of saying hello and chiz."

"How do you know?" Freddie asked, amused. "I could've sworn you slept through our geography class in high school."

"My mom dated a lot of French guys," Sam explained.

"I thought she dated a lot of Italians."

"Uh-huh," Sam nodded. "Them too."

"Right…" Freddie cringed.

"Which reminds me," Sam said, struggling to get to her feet. "I need to go over to my mom's now. We're making an ecard to send to my Aunt Marla for her birthday while she's in prison."

"Want me to drive you?" Freddie asked, hopping up to help his wife up.

"Nah, it's fine, it's not a far drive," Sam replied. "Just go and get Jason from next door in an hour, okay?"

"Alright," Freddie said, giving her a quick kiss. "Oh! I almost forgot, did my mom wind up stopping by here like she said?"

"No, actually, she didn't," Sam replied. "It's been peaceful all day."

"Huh, guess she got caught up in another puzzle or sanitizing project," Freddie shrugged. "Oh well, I'll see you later."

"Bye, baby," Sam said, grabbing her keys and heading out of the house.

"Alright," Freddie said, sitting back down and kicking his feet up on the coffee table. "Time for a little Galaxy Wars. Man, I haven't been able to watch without Sam's mean comments about the Sky Nauts for years now, this is gonna be-"

But before he could even turn the T.V. on, the front door slammed open and his mother stormed in.

"Um…hi mom," Freddie frowned, slightly startled by her abrupt entrance. "I thought you were coming by earlier to see Sam and Jason. Jason's next door right now and Sam just left-"

"I know!" Marissa snapped, causing Freddie to jump. "I waited until I saw her leave before coming in!"

"Wait…you were watching the house?" Freddie said. "Why?"

"Because!" Marissa said loudly, swinging her large purse at him.

"Ow!" Freddie exclaimed, toppling over from the force. "What was that for?"

"For you acting like an unsophisticated hoodlum!" she swung her bag again.

"Ow! Mom, that hurts!" Freddie cried.

"Good!" Marissa yelled, swinging the bag again. "How dare you, Fredward Benson? Did I not raise you better than this?"

"I don't even know what I'm being accused of!" Freddie said.

"I saw you today!" Marissa snapped. "And I am disgusted!"

"Where-What-What are you talking about?" Freddie sputtered, confused.

"Don't you try and deny this, mister!" Marissa said firmly. "Do you not realize you are a father?"

"Um…yes?" Freddie said. "But what and I-"

"And do you even care how hurt Samantha is going to be once she finds out?" Marissa demanded. "I don't care how unhygienic or sloppy or sarcastic or rude she is! Nothing justifies what you are doing to that poor woman! Not even she deserves this!"

She swung her bag again, sending Freddie toppling to the floor.

"What doesn't Sam deserve?" Freddie winced.

"That poor girl doesn't deserve to have a-a scumbag of a husband who would cheat on her while she's six-months pregnant!" Marissa spat. "I tried so hard to raise you to be the perfect gentleman and you go and do this?"

She hit him again.

"Enough with the bag!" Freddie yelled. "And-And what do you mean I'm cheating on Sam? I would never-"

"I saw you with that harlot at the bakery today!" Marissa said.

"Harlot?"

"Yes!" Marissa snapped. "Now, I am not going to let this continue anymore! Samantha happens to love you very much, young man, and I'm not going to stand here and watch my son become a disgusting pig and-"

"No, mom! You-You've got it all wrong!" Freddie said quickly. "That woman you saw at the bakery…that's Julie!"

"Julie? So she has a name now?" Marissa scoffed, flinging her bag once more at him.

"Okay, seriously, what do you have in there? Bricks?" Freddie said loudly. "Look, mom, Sam knows I was meeting Julie there. See, she's the-"

"Hey, I forgot that I still have my mom's ointment over here from when she came over last week," Sam said, coming back into the house. "I figured I should probably get that back to-"

She frowned as she took in the scene of her mother-in-law towering over her cowering husband. "Um…what-what's happening?"

"My mom's attacking me!" Freddie said, scrambling to his feet.

"Why?" Sam asked, somewhat amused.

"Because she has this crazy idea that I'm cheating on you!" Freddie said, straightening his shirt.

"What?" Sam exclaimed, looking over at Marissa. "Why-Why would you think Freddie's cheating on me?"

"Because I-I saw him snuggling with another woman at the bakery this morning," Marissa said heavily. "Now, Samantha, I know how hard this must be, but-"

"Wait," Sam said slowly, turning back to Freddie. "You mean that Swedish bakery?"

"Yeah," Freddie nodded. "She saw me with Julie apparently and-"

"Stop saying her name!" Marissa ordered.

"Ohhhh," Sam nodded, finally realizing what was going on.

"What-What do you mean ohhhh?" Marissa demanded.

"Um, as-as much as I'd love to watch you continue to beat Freddie up with your bag, and I mean really enjoy," Sam said. "He-He didn't do anything, Marissa. That Julie girl, she's the principal of this really amazing preschool we've been trying to get Jason into. We've been on the waiting list for the past few months and Freddie went to meet her today to try and speed things along."

"Yeah, that's all that was going on," Freddie told his mother. "What you saw was just me trying to get our son into preschool. Nothing else. Yeah, the principal was kind of…friendly, but trust me, nothing happened."

"I-Oh," Marissa said lamely, her face reddening. She readjusted her bag on her shoulder, causing Freddie to reflexively flinch. "Well then…I-I'm glad that's settled. I-I was just concerned that I might have somehow raised a miscreant. But-But now that I see that I've been mistaken, I'll be on my way. And-And Samantha! Why is this living room not baby proofed yet? Did you learn nothing from the time Jason split his lip in here when he was little?"

Sam pursed her lips but said nothing.

"I supposed I'll be back tomorrow to do it myself," Marissa tutted. "Otherwise who knows when it will get done."

She made to start towards the front door.

"Hang on," Freddie said slowly. "Mom…I-I've never seen you as angry as you just were in my whole life. Not even that time I came home with covered in paste when I was six."

"I-So?" Marissa said.

"So," Freddie said, a smile creeping onto his face. "You wouldn't have gotten so angry and violent when you thought I was cheating on Sam unless…unless you really cared about her."

Sam and Marissa both looked at each other.

"Ah-ha! I knew it!" Freddie cheered triumphantly. "Admit it, mom, you care about Sam! And you couldn't stand the idea of her possibly getting hurt. Even if it was by your own son."

Sam awkwardly glanced down at her feet.

"I'm right mom," Freddie grinned. "Aren't I?"

"I-I don't- you-well of course I care about her!" Marissa finally said, looking as though she had just swallowed a pool ball. "She is my daughter…in-law."

She cleared her throat. "Now then…I will be back tomorrow to properly baby place this entire home."

And with that she turned and hurried out of the house.

Once she left, Freddie back to his wife. "See? Told you my mom cared about you."
"Yeah," Sam said softly, still looking down. "I guess…I guess you were kind of right."

"Hey," Freddie smirked. "Are you crying?"

"No!" Sam snapped at once, rubbing her eyes. "I just…it's the stupid pregnancy hormones, okay?"

"Oh-kay," Freddie said knowingly. "If you say so."