Chapter One Hundred-Fourteen

Having spent his adult life as a Potions Master, Severus knew a thing or two about where and how to procure rare and dangerous ingredients. Basilisk venom wasn't something one could find in any old apothecary. Even Knockturn Alley, for all its dark objects and secrets, didn't sell such a thing on a regular basis.

When his position had been with the Death Eaters, or assumed to be with them, Severus could find an easy welcome in Knockturn Alley. He did not have that luxury now. He knew he was one of the most sought after Order members by the Death Eaters and Voldemort himself. He would need to go in disguise and use his skills he'd acquired from years of spying to his benefit.

Even then, there was no guarantee he would be successful.

While he waited for an opportune time to go on this mission, Severus read through books he borrowed from Dumbledore and from his own collection, trying to find another way to destroy Horcruxes. If he had found information, albeit very little, on Horcruxes before, he hoped he would find something else.

His nose buried in one of the vast tomes, he didn't hear Lily as she entered the sitting room at Spinner's End. It was evening and the week before Christmas, and just beyond the window, winter was making itself evident as the third snowstorm that month was pummeling the world with its whiteness.

Lily had been upstairs in what had been Severus's old bedroom. She had taken it upon herself to start redecorating the room and making it into something suitable for a baby. Even though they had four months yet before the baby would come into the world, being stuck at home every day afforded Lily a lot of time. For now, she had patched her relationship enough with Petunia to ask for her help, and glad to have something useful to do, Petunia had agreed.

In the past couple of weeks, Lily couldn't help but notice the sadness on her sister's face whenever they were together. Whenever Petunia's eyes travelled to Lily's belly, Lily would smile hopefully, and Petunia would just as soon meet Lily's eyes and return the smile, although they both knew her heart wasn't fully in it.

Now, however, Lily was alone and had been changing the border pattern every ten minutes with the use of her wand. Thinking Severus might welcome the distraction, she crossed the firelit room, the warm orange hues dancing on the walls and ceiling, and perched herself on the arm of the chair.

Feeling her presence next to him, Severus withdrew some from the book and turned to look at her.

"How long have you been fretting over finding a way to destroy the remaining Horcruxes?" Lily teased lightly.

The crease of concentration between Severus's eyebrows lessened, but he replied seriously, "We do need to find a way to get rid of them, Lily. I'd like it done before the baby is born. I don't want our son being born into a world with Voldemort running amuck."

Lily placed a hand on the book Severus was holding firmly in his grasp and gently took it from him, marking the page before she closed it and set it aside.

"True," she conceded, "but there's also this silly little thing called life you need to live in the meantime." She leaned in and kissed him.

A part of Severus wanted to protest that they wouldn't have any lives if Voldemort won the war, but he gave in to her ministrations. He had been spending too much time pouring over books and thinking about Horcruxes to allow himself to relax. Here was his lovely wife desiring him very much... How could he not give in?

He returned the kiss and wrapped an arm around her, pulling her onto his lap. When the kiss broke, Lily rested her head against his shoulder and snaked her arm around his chest. Staring into the fire, she sighed.

"I miss this," she murmured.

"So do I," Severus admitted. "I'm sorry for not spending enough time with you, Lily. I don't imagine I've been very good company lately."

Lily picked up on the troubled tone of his voice and shifted her gaze to her husband's face. The soft glow of the fire gave his normally pale skin a healthy sheen. His dark eyes appeared even darker, save the reflection of the flickering light in his pupils. Lily brushed his hair behind his ear and kissed his cheek where the strand had rested a moment ago.

"Don't be sorry, love," she said kindly. "I know you want a better world for our son, and you've been working very hard to give him that... to give us all that. Do you have any idea how brave you are, Severus?"

Severus swallowed and stared back into Lily's eyes. It was such a simple statement, but so much hope rested in those words. Lily was putting her trust and faith in him that he would see through what he had started.

"I'm not the only one fighting," Severus said. "You have done more than your fair share, too, Lily."

Deciding on a different tactic, Lily brought her lips to his ear so they barely skimmed across the tender skin there and whispered, "Yes, but you know what else I think of your selfless devotion? It's damn sexy..."

Severus felt his insides melt, all thoughts about Horcruxes evading him, and pulled her in to a fierce kiss. They continued their ministrations for the next several minutes before deciding that they would have more room to spread out on the sofa. Between the colored lights charmed to blink on the Christmas tree and the fire, the dim lighting added to the romantic feeling filling the room.

After some time, when the fire started to die down some, Severus excused himself and added another log to it. He levitated a blanket across the room and covered both Lily and himself with it, keeping her snuggled close.

Lily's sigh was content, and she remarked, "Despite everything going on out there in the world, I don't think I could be happier than right now, here with you. I do love Christmas."

Severus had only come to appreciate the holiday since spending it with Lily. Many years as a student, he had chosen to remain behind at Hogwarts, not wishing to see his parents fight back home. That meant Christmases away from Lily. Even their first couple of Christmases before Hogwarts couldn't compare to what he experienced now. As children, they had been playmates and best friends as children understand the meaning. Now, Severus could call Lily much more than his best friend.

"I know what you mean," he replied finally after some reflection. "If you'd asked me before what I thought about Christmas, I wouldn't have understood how you could love it so much, but I know without needing to explain it now. You understand me, Lily."

Years of dislike for the holidays when an embittered professor seemed lifetimes away, several universes separated. A passing thought of Dumbledore asking him to pull a cracker and a horrid vulture-hat appearing flitted through Severus's mind, and he chuckled softly.

"What?" Lily questioned, smiling up at him.

"A silly thing, really," Severus replied. "Of course, I didn't find it so amusing at the time. I don't suppose I had much of a sense of humor then."

He proceeded to explain the memory to Lily, who giggled, her laughter so appropriately sounding of Christmas bells, reminiscent of cheer and delight.

"I don't blame you for not finding it funny at the time, Sev. Most things are only humorous after the fact, anyway."

"I suppose so," he agreed.

They continued their conversation into the night, and when they grew too tired to keep their eyelids open any longer, they simply moved to their bedroom, still locked in one another's company.

x x x x x

When Christmas Day arrived, Severus and Lily spent it with Lily's family at her childhood home. Tobias had been invited back for a second year. As the families shared in the joyous celebration, Lily imagined the following year when they would have a baby. Everyone would no doubt be fawning over the child, one still too young to understand why people were shoving brightly wrapped boxes at him. For now, Lily kept her attention mostly on Oliver as he opened the packages, a child old enough to appreciate the excitement.

Severus was sitting next to her on the couch, watching her expression as she gazed upon Oliver. He knew what was going through her mind. His own eyes drifted to the boy, and Severus tried to envision his own son. Oliver's dark brown longish hair was similar to how Severus had worn his hair when he was a boy, and he supposed his son might look similar.

"Oliver is a cute kid," Lily whispered to Severus, "but you do realize that our son will be adorable."

Severus snorted. "Because he'll have some of your characteristics, yes, that will help."

Thankfully, Petunia was too busy talking with her mum, and Tobias and Ross were discussing Muggle politics over cans of soda in the dining room, so Severus and Lily weren't overheard.

"You'll see," Lily said confidently. "He'll be beautiful."

While Severus and Lily were enjoying a lovely Christmas, Regulus was having to put forth a good face at his house. His parents were hosting Christmas this year for the entire extended family. Only Sirius, of course, was absent, but Regulus found himself almost wishing his older brother was present. Seeing his cousin Bellatrix and her deplorable husband again wasn't his idea of a good time.

And I don't know what Narcissa was thinking in marrying Malfoy, except that he's rich and has connections, I suppose. The man is a pompous idiot, Regulus thought scornfully, giving Lucius a polite nod as the older man finished another joke about Mudbloods.

After another agonizing ten minutes in the man's company, Regulus excused himself, grateful for the crowd. At least no one would really miss him.

Or so he thought.

He had just reached for the knob to his bedroom door when a pale hand got to it first and stopped him.

Stunned, Regulus turned to find Narcissa standing there, an odd expression on her normally composed face.

"Narcissa," Regulus stated, raising an eyebrow. "Is there something you wanted?"

"Regulus," Narcissa returned softly, turning the knob and opening the door. "Enter. There's something I wish to discuss with you."

"Thanks for giving me permission to enter my own bedroom," Regulus joked, wondering if Narcissa had grown tired of her husband's prattle as well.

Once inside, Narcissa closed the door and leaned against it. She raised her wand and cast a spell to keep their conversation from being overheard.

Seeing that she appeared serious, Regulus asked, "Is something wrong?"

"That depends on your answer," Narcissa replied.

"What are you talking about?" Regulus questioned, now beginning to feel uncomfortable.

"Several weeks ago, when we were all at Bella's, you stole something. A small golden cup."

Regulus felt his insides go numb. He thought his stomach might drop out from under him.

When he didn't elaborate or confess, Narcissa continued, "Because it's you, I didn't tell anyone, but, Regulus, what are you playing at? The Dark Lord gave something to Bella be safekeeping, and I'm sure by your sneaking around when you thought everyone pissed, you didn't think you'd be caught, but you forget that I'm pregnant and cannot drink."

"All right," Regulus said, thinking fast, "yes, I took it. You saw me. I can't deny it, but listen, Cissa. Bella was bragging about it in front of us, and the very fact that she showed me where it was being kept proves that she isn't taking the Dark Lord's orders seriously. What if I couldn't be trusted? What if I meant her harm? What if I were one of Dumbledore's do-gooders under Polyjuice? The point is, I think the Dark Lord made a mistake to entrust Bellatrix with something so valuable and important to him. If a little drink can loosen her tongue enough to spill his secrets, what else might she reveal? She doesn't know it's been taken, and I'd like to keep it that way. No one is the wiser; no one got hurt. The Dark Lord won't punish her if he doesn't find out about her foolishness. I haven't told him, and I won't. I'm not looking to betray my family or my lord, but neither am I trying to somehow prove I'm better than Bella. I'm a low Death Eater in the ranks. Bella is much more trusted, and I wish for her to keep her position of power by protecting her from her own shortcomings. See, Narcissa? No one suffers anything this way."

Narcissa listened thoroughly and seemed to buy Regulus's explanation. "You do make some good points," she agreed. "Yes, Bella can have a loose tongue, and although she's totally devoted to serving the Dark Lord, she does have a tendency to go too far in her desire to gain attention. If you won't tell anyone, I won't. You know I love you, little cousin. I'd hate to see anything happen to you. Don't be like your brother, Reg."

"Don't worry, Cissa. I won't be."

"I suppose we ought to head back downstairs. I expect pudding will be beginning in a few minutes, and you know Lucius loves to save the best jokes for then." She smiled.

Regulus nodded and followed Narcissa out the door.