A Footnote

"You guys… this is shaping up to be an interesting morning." Alyss stared at the map intently.

"Why do you say that fair maiden?" Legolas sprang to his feet and made his way over to her.

Eragon also perked up but as he was supposedly on "guard duty" and could not go over to see what the issue was. He heard a few gasps, and at first thought it was because of the burning smell coming from Draco's cooking. Shame on Alyss for murdering those poor bunnies! To his horror Legolas was not only unschooled in the ways of the elves, he was not a vegan! When attacked on this point Legolas eyed him cautiously and said, "Every day, thousands of innocent plants are killed by vegetarians. We must do our duty to end this violence, eat bacon." The bleached boy had nothing to say to this.

"What is it?" he called.

Legolas came over to him with the map and pointed, "Read this note that TA put here."

"You should see the note—I can't make it out – foot? I thought we assumed it meant 'You should see the noteworthy foot formed' and that it must be some foot shaped statue or something?"

"Indeed. But Alyss decided to investigate the map further. And she found a footnote."

"OH."

"Indeed. It said nothing really."

"WHY?"

"Indeed if only we knew…"

"Wait, if there was footnote, then there must have been something there."

"Indeed there was a note, it extended the whole length of the foot long map."

"And the note was-?"

"Indee-"

"Would you stop that?"

"Indee- I mean yes of course. Anyways the note said, 'Mind your feet.'"

The two men sat and pondered this phenomenal turn of events. Then the bunnies expostulated.

"DRACO! I told you they had to be watched or they'd burn!" Eragon called absentmindedly licking his fingers, then realized what he was licking and stopped.

Legolas took one of his arrows and began to work a piece of the blackened meat from a tree trunk.

Alyss brought over some water to Eragon and Legolas. They ate silently while Draco tried to urgently scrape the remnants of the bunnies from his suit only to give up when he came across an ear.

"Nice weather out here huh?" Eragon grinned. At the sight of his blackened teeth from the charred bunny the others drew back.

"Lovely." Alyss smiled sweetly.

They all stumbled on the rough ground. As they scrambled to their feet a shadow was cast over them.

"Valar!"

"You must be joking."

They all stared.

In front of them was a footnote. An honest to goodness ten foot tall footnote. Right where it was supposed to be according to the map.

"That's what it meant." Awe tinged Alyss's voice as she peered up at the immense… thing.

"I've not seen such a thing in all my millennia alive!"

"You're joking right?" Alyss asked taking the time to glance at him.

"No."

Watching from a tree BrightWatcher face palmed and sent TA a reminder that they needed to stay on track with the story, and decided to have a talk with her concerning her choice of characters. All of whom seemed to be developing weird habits concerning meat and vegetarianism. She hated to think of what would happen if Alyss developed one. Then she remembered that she had picked the characters and had no one to blame but herself. Oh she hated irony – when it applied to her.

Draco by this time had shed his suit to reveal the "Beedle the Bard's 2009 Collector's Edition" pajama outfit, complete with "Babbity Rabbity" on the pants and the "Hallows" symbol on the shirt right where the heart was. This was why the bunnies got burnt. Draco had a secret affection for all things soft and fuzzy that hopped. In his mind he couldn't stand the thought of watching those bunnies sizzle.

To the others credit they did not comment on his attire and merely strove not to snicker.

"Want a snickers bar?" Alyss asked randomly while extending the delightful, crunchy, chewy candy bars.

"But Alyss we're supposed to not snack on snickers! Else we might be snicker-snacked!"

Legolas giggled and said in his best balloon voice, "Fly you fools!"

Rolling her eyes Alyss said, "Well why do you think I found them in my pack? And what does 'snicker-snack!' mean?"

Legolas giggled and said (still) in his best balloon voice, "Death! Death! Death!"

"Come on Alyss from Lewis Carroll's "The Jabberwocky?" Okay Legolas I think it's time we took those balloons away from you." Eragon took them away only to have Legolas dissolve into a snit.

"MYYYYY PRECIOUSSSSS! WE WANTSSS THEM BACKSSESS! GIVE IT BACK! LegOOm, LegOOm!"

"No Legolas Greenleaf! Can't you see that they're corrupting you?" Eragon pleaded.

"Snickers?" Alyss offered again.

Eragon hesitated.

Draco let out a very strained giggle.

Eragon took one without question.

Draco began to pet a clump of soft moss that felt like rabbit fur.

Eragon choked. "Isn't that what I'M supposed to do?" But no, our Dragon Rider had already had his bunny obsession way back in Ellesmera, before he became annoyingly perfect in everything but his head. Remember that soft patch of moss in the forest with the elves that don't like to talk too loud?

Finally he couldn't stand Legolas's raving any longer and began to send bolts of blue fire at Legolas who was beginning to talk about fish. Instead of silencing the elf… Oh horrors of horrors…

"You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium!"

Legolas's breathtakingly beautiful cover of "Titanium" by David Guetta (ft. Sia) did not charm Eragon. He took another offered snickers bar.

Still watching from a tree BrightWatcher sent a pointed glare at TA. Sighing TA pressed the "Comic Relief" button and things returned to normal. "You have to admit that was funny." She giggled.

The four gathered souls stared at each other. Draco was dressed in the weirdest clothing, some weird rabbit all over his pants with moss clenched in his fist. Alyss was possessively clutching a bag of snickers candy, Eragon was chewing with his mouth partially open (he was in the middle of shouting "Brisingr!"), and Legolas was twisted on the ground with red marks on his face that looked suspiciously like fingernail trails.

"Shall we read the footnote?" Alyss asked presently.

After an awkward muttering of assent she peered at it, then had Legolas and Eragon work on it who could use their elven powers of enhanced vision.

After some discussion Legolas read,

"If you have found this footnote, well done. I have a quest for you all. You must follow the map from this footnote to the climax (which is marked in gold on the map). That is all. I wish you well and watch out for plot holes and loose threads. I have a life insurance card for all of you from my main source in case there should be a fatality.

Best wishes!

~The Authoress"

"Time to go." It sounded like Legolas's multipolar personality coming through.

"No joke master of Legilimens." Draco animated the blankets from their packs. "Everybody on. The faster I'm out of here the nastier my temper will get."

Author's Note: Well I never made promises, but I feel guilty anyways for not updating. I've spent some time plotting out what I want to do with this story in the future and I'm very excited. :D Please feel free to mention any mistakes in my story like misspellings and such. I was rereading this story and was dismayed to see so many errors.

Legolas's (tampered with) Bacon quote is not mine. Nor is the song Titanium or snickers bars. A Legilimens if you remember HP fans, is somebody who invades your mind, the defense of such an attack is called Occlumency.

Thank you very much to those who reviewed, followed, added this to their favorites list, or took the time to read this.