Fragment
"Unbelievable!" Spencer exclaimed as he sat with Carly on the couch.
"What?" Carly asked, looking up from her Pearpad.
"Dad just emailed me and told me that he's docking my allowance!" Spencer frowned. "He says that it's time I learn 'responsibility'. How insane is that?"
"You're a thirty-four year old man getting an allowance from his father," Carly said slowly. "I think that's the insane part."
"Well, I guess now I need to pick up some extra work to make up for this," Spencer sighed. "Want to go out and help me try to find sculpture clients?"
"Can't," Carly said. "Sam's upstairs taking a nap, but as soon as Freddie gets here, we have to rehearse for iCarly tomorrow night."
"Fine, I guess I'll see if Socko wants to help me," Spencer said, getting to his feet. "Oh…wait, I forgot he's bird watching down south with his cousin."
"Robin?"
"Yeah."
"Well, good luck out there," Carly said.
"Thanks," Spencer said, grabbing his jacket. "Man! I hope dad's happy now! I hate doing adult stuff!"
A few moments after Spencer left, the Shay's door opened again and Freddie walked in.
"Hey," he greeted Carly.
"Hi," Carly smiled.
"Where's Sam?" Freddie asked. "I thought she was over here with you."
"She's taking a nap," Carly said. "So go wake her up so we can rehearse."
"Why do I have to wake her up?" Freddie said. "She's vicious when she's woken from a nap!"
"She won't hurt you," Carly said, rolling her eyes. "You're her boyfriend."
"Has that stopped her before?"
"Er…okay, fine, I'll wake her and you just go up the studio and start setting everything-"
"Freddie!" Sam suddenly exclaimed, running down the stairs.
"Oh good, you're up," Carly said. "Alright, well now we can all just-"
But Sam quickly pushed past her best friend and threw herself into Freddie's arms, kissing him deeply.
"Well hi," Freddie grinned when they finally pulled apart. "That was some greeting."
"I'm just happy to see you, baby," Sam smiled sweetly. "Hey, did you get a haircut? It looks good!"
"Oh, yeah, I just got a little trim, but-"
"And somebody must've hit the gym before he came here," Sam continued, rubbing Freddie's arm. "Whoa, check out those guns! Hey, you-you really shouldn't keep these babies hidden away under long sleeves though. Why don't you go back across the hall and put on something that will do your arms justice."
"R-Really?" Freddie said.
"It would make me really happy," Sam nodded.
"Oh, well…okay," Freddie said, looking a little surprised at his girlfriend's attitude, but he chose not to comment. After all, why would he want to end it? "I-I'll be right back then."
"I'll be waiting," Sam smirked, giving him another long kiss.
"Is-Did-Is it my birthday or something?" Freddie asked when they separated.
"No, I just love you."
"Oh…well I love you too," Freddie said happily.
Once he disappeared across the hall and closed the door behind him, Carly turned to the blond. "Um…what?"
"What?" Sam asked innocently.
"Sam, I know you love Freddie and all, but what the heck was with all of that mushiness?" Carly chuckled. "And why'd you make him go change his shirt? You're just gonna be all distracted staring at his muscles during rehearsal."
"Yeah…" Sam said, clearing her throat. "About that rehearsal…we-we can't do that today."
"What do you mean? We have to!" Carly said. "We do the show tomorrow night and we need to run everything through one last time."
"Um…well, we-we could just not do the show either," Sam said slowly. "We could go see a movie instead! When was the last time the three of us went to a-"
"What's going on?" Carly asked, crossing her arms.
Sam sighed. "Alright, alright…um, when-when I was upstairs trying to take a nap, I couldn't fall asleep. So I wandered into the iCarly studio to look for that special pillow I like thinking maybe that would help and I got distracted by Freddie's tech cart."
"Wait…were you touching his tech stuff?" Carly frowned.
"Um, maybe a little."
"Sam, nobody's allowed to touch his tech stuff!" Carly exclaimed. "He almost had an aneurism when Spencer looked at that cart wrong!"
"I know!" Sam moaned. "But-But I dunno, I just wanted to see what was so special about all that junk. So-So I picked up his big camera and, well, I-I sort of…I broke it!"
"You broke it?" Carly gasped. "Sam, he's going to kill you!"
"I know! I actually feel terrible!" Sam said.
"Well how broken is it?" Carly asked.
"I don't know!" Sam snapped. "But the little screen is a million different colors, the lens thing fell off and a bunch of the buttons are jammed and it keeps making beeping noises! It's ruined!"
"Well Sam, Freddie's gonna notice!" Carly said. "That camera's like his child."
"No, he's not gonna notice," Sam said firmly. "I've just got to keep his distracted enough. So-So when he comes back over here, will you just keep him downstairs and out of the studio while I run to the store and try to buy him a new one? I'll replace it and he'll never know!"
"I don't know," Carly said. "I feel kind of bad lying to Freddie-"
"Hey!" Sam said loudly. "How many guys have I lied to for you? I helped you make that one dude think you were an ice skater! I helped you make the weird accent guy think you were super smart! I helped-"
"Alright, I'll do it!" Carly said. "Jeez…no need to make me seem so pathetic."
"Alright, I'm back!" Freddie announced, returning to the apartment, now wearing a penny-t that indeed showed off his muscles much better. "You like, Sam?"
"Like?" Sam said, putting her arms around him. "Try love. Hey, um, you-you know what? You look so hot right now, baby, that I'm gonna go buy you a smoothie."
"Well what about iCarly?" Freddie asked.
"We can do that later," Sam said quickly. "Right, Carls?"
"Um…sure," Carly nodded. "In fact, Freddie, why-why don't the two of us talk down here? I feel like we haven't seen each other in forever!"
"What are you talking about?" Freddie asked, confused. "I saw you earlier today at-"
"That's a great idea!" Sam said. "Yeah, Freddie, you stay with Carly and I'll be right back!"
"But I-" Freddie started, but Sam had already raced out of the apartment.
…..
"-And the only reason I tried to convince they guy I was into ice skating was because I thought it would open the door to reveal common interests that we actually did share," Carly said to Freddie about an hour later as the two sat on the couch. "Totally not pathetic, right?"
"Um, I guess," Freddie yawned. "Hey, I think I'm just gonna run upstairs and start setting up for rehearsal. Er, not-not that hearing about your failed relationships isn't fascinating and not at all boring."
"No!" Carly said at once. "Er…n-no. You can't go up there."
"Why not?" Freddie frowned.
"Because!" Carly. "Because I-Hey! What-what are you getting Sam for her birthday?"
"You mean the birthday she's having in eight months?"
"Well don't tell me you're going to wait until then to start planning!" Carly scoffed. "Come on, this is your girlfriend we're talking about; you can't just throw together a present at the last minute. Now, right now she's really into-"
"Hey!" Sam suddenly said, letting herself into the apartment.
"Sam!" Carly exclaimed, jumping to her feet. "You're back…and empty handed! I thought you were getting Freddie a smoothie."
"Yeah, um, they were out," Sam said lamely. "Hey Carls, can I have a word with you in the kitchen?"
She grabbed her best friend's wrist and pulled her away.
"What happened?" Carly whispered. "I thought you were going to buy Freddie a replacement camera!"
"I was!" Sam hissed. "But you know those things cost like, six hundred bucks? I couldn't afford that!"
"Well then Sam, you-you're just going to have to tell Freddie the truth," Carly said. "Because without that camera, we're going to have to figure out another way to shoot iCarly for-"
"No!" Sam said at once. "I can't tell him! He's gonna flip! Maybe…oh, I know! I can ask Brad!"
"Brad?"
"Yeah, he-he might know how to fix it!" Sam nodded. "Okay, just keep Freddie busy a little while longer and I'll call him up!"
"Sam, I'm running out of material down here!" Carly said. "We've been just talking for two hours now! I think he's getting bored."
"Then paint a basket or something!"
"Paint a-"
"Well since T-Bo was out of smoothies, I'm just gonna have to run to Pink Bunny to get you one," Sam said to Freddie as she headed back into the living room.
"Oh, that's okay," Freddie said. "I really don't need-"
"Hey, a sexy, handsome hunk like you deserves a smoothie!" Sam said firmly. "So you're gonna get one!"
"S-Sexy?" Freddie repeated.
"Well duh, baby, have you looked in a mirror?" Sam grinned. She gave him another quick kiss. "I'll be back in a sec!"
She raced out of the apartment, leaving Carly and Freddie alone once more.
"You hear that?" Freddie said cockily. "I'm a sexy, handsome hunk."
Carly rolled her eyes. "Wanna paint a basket?"
…
"Carls, I'm telling you, I really don't think baskets were made to be painted," Freddie said about an hour later as the two studied their finished basket on the kitchen counter, which was covered in messy paint blotches. "Besides, I really don't know why we had to do this. Shouldn't we be rehearsing?"
"We can rehearse any time," Carly said. "How often can you paint a basket?"
Before Freddie could reply, Sam stormed back into the apartment, again empty handed.
"Was Pink Bunny out of smoothies too?" Freddie asked.
"Um, yeah," Sam said. "Apparently there's a big fruit recall in Seattle."
"Why?" Freddie frowned.
"Um, glass-glass fragments from the apple factory got into everything," Sam said lamely.
"What? Apple factory? That-"
"Carly!" Sam cut in. "A word?"
The girls hurried into the kitchen.
"So can Brad fix it?" Carly whispered.
"No!" Sam moaned. "The kid's in Idaho until next week!"
"Well then Sam, I-I really don't know what other choice you have," Carly said. "I think you're going to have to tell Freddie the truth about you breaking his camera."
"I can't!" Sam groaned.
"What are you guys doing in there?" Freddie asked.
"N-Nothing!" Sam called back quickly.
"Look, it's almost eight o'clock," Freddie said, looking at his watch. "And I have to be back home by ten or my mom's going to be mad at me. So can we please do the rehearsal that we were supposed to do four hours ago?"
"Do-Do we really need to rehearse?" Sam asked lamely. "Why don't we try improve on the show tomorrow night? That's always fun!"
Freddie crossed his arms. "Okay…what's going on?"
"G-Going on?" Carly asked, giving an awkward chuckled.
"You two have been acting weird all day," Freddie said.
"N-No we haven't," Sam mumbled, looking down at the ground.
"Yeah, you have," Freddie said. "Come on, what's going on?"
"Well, um…I-I'm going to go investigate this fruit recall!" Carly said quickly, making a run for the front door. "Bye!"
"Last time I help you with your boy problems!" Sam yelled after her.
Freddie turned back to Sam. "Sam…"
"Um, so-I-I mentioned how sexy you look in that shirt, right?" Sam said weakly.
Freddie raised an eyebrow.
"Okay, fine!" Sam conceded. "Just-Just please don't get mad."
"Baby, you can tell me," Freddie said gently. "I'm sure it's nothing major that we can't-"
"I-I broke one of your cameras," Sam blurted out.
Freddie's sentence fell flat. "W-What?"
"Yeah," Sam sighed. "I-I was up in the studio and I was bored so I was messing around with your tech cart-"
"You were messing around with my tech cart?" Freddie repeated, his voice raising. "Sam! I've told you and Carly that that stuff's not to be touched! I have it all set up perfectly and if someone who's not familiar with something messes around with it, things can get ruined!"
"I know!" Sam said. "I know, and-and I'm so sorry!"
"I mean half of the equipment on there costs hundreds of dollars!" Freddie continued to fume. "You know how long it will take me to replace that camera? And with no camera, there's no iCarly!"
"I know!" Sam exclaimed. "I'm sorry! I get it, I screwed up and you have every right to hate me for destroying your camera!"
Freddie's face faltered slightly. "I-Well, I-I never said I hated you, Sam."
"I broke your camera," Sam said.
"That doesn't mean I don't still love you," Freddie said, taking a deep breath. "Yeah, it-it was a very nice, expensive camera, but-but I guess…I guess it is just a camera. I'd never stop loving you over that."
"But-But that camera's been your favorite thing in the world for years," Sam said.
"Yeah," Freddie said, giving her a small smile. "Until you came along…"
Sam looked up. "So-So you're not mad?"
"Well…I-I'm not exactly thrilled you broke the camera, but-but I forgive you," Freddie said heavily. "It was an accident, after all. Er…it-it was an accident, right?"
"Totally," Sam nodded. "And-And I'll help you pay for a new one! And I'll find us a temporary camera for us to use for iCarly too!"
"Well before you do all that, let me take a look at my camera to see how bad the damage is," Freddie said. "I might be able to salvage it if I can track down some replacement parts."
The couple headed up the iCarly studio where Freddie's camera was resting on his tech cart.
"I swear, I'll never touch any of this junk again," Sam said as Freddie picked up his precious camera and began looking it over. "Ever. Not even if-"
"Wait, Sam," Freddie said. "I thought you said you broke this."
"I-I did."
"No you didn't," Freddie laughed. "Baby…the camera's fine!"
"Huh?" Sam frowned. "But-But the lens thing is all screwy!"
"It's a removable lens frame," Freddie explained. "Just tighten it back up and it's good as new."
"And the buttons are jammed," Sam said.
"No, they're not jammed," Freddie smiled. "You just have them locked. See, you flip this switch right here and they go back to normal."
"Well what about that beeping noise?" Sam pointed out.
"That just means I need to charge it up soon," Freddie shrugged, pressing a button and silencing the noise. "There!"
"Well-the-the screen is still all wonky!" Sam pointed out.
"That is because you messed up the white balance," Freddie said, readjusting a small knob and bringing the picture back into focus. "Now do you finally see how important that is?"
"Hold on...so-so I really didn't break it then?" Sam said slowly.
"Nope," Freddie replied.
"Oh…" Sam said. "Well…that-that's good. Guess I was running around all day trying to fix this for nothing."
"Guess so," Freddie chuckled. "Wait…you-you didn't say all that about me being a sexy, handsome hunk just so I wouldn't find out about my camera…did you?"
"You'll never know," Sam smirked, turning to head out of the studio. "I'm gonna go find Carly and tell her the good news."
"Wait, Sam, was it true or not?" Freddie called after her. "Well…either way it's staying etched in my memory forever so ha!"
