Person
"So by my count, we have about two hours until my mom finishes her shift at the hospital," Freddie said as he quickly unlocked the door of his old apartment. "So we have that much time to move as much of my stuff to our place as possible before she gets back and throws another fit about me moving out."
"I can't believe she's being such a baby about all of this," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "Well…I can believe it. But come on! We're engaged! We'd be living together in six months when we're married anyway; what's the big deal about us starting a little early?"
"Eh, you know her, she's super traditional with relationships," Freddie shrugged. "And well, me moving out has always been her biggest fear. I've told her a million times that our apartment is only ten minutes from here and that she can visit whenever she wants-"
"Excuse me?"
"Oh come on," Freddie said. "It-It won't be that bad…"
"Really?" Sam said, raising an eyebrow. "Okay, picture this. We're having a romantic evening…the two of us are just lounging around on the sofa sipping wine and eating chocolate covered strawberries. We start making out and soon, as thing get much more heated, we decide to take it to the bedroom. Only just as you scoop me up off the couch…your mom walks in."
"I-That won't-She wouldn't…okay," Freddie said. "Okay, I-I'll tell her she can come by once a week if she calls before."
"Better…I guess," Sam sighed as they stepped into the apartment. "Alright, what do we have to pick up?"
"Just some tech equipment from my old bedroom," Freddie said. "And then we have to go down to the storage unit and pick up some of my winter stuff."
"Okay," Sam nodded. "So you can get all that and I'll just go across the hall to Spence's and watch T.V. Come get me when you're done!"
"Sam, you promised to help," Freddie told her. "And-And I'll take you out for frozen yogurt!"
"I want sushi," Sam said, crossing her arms.
"Fine!" Freddie said, rolling his eyes. "I'll buy you sushi."
"Alright," Sam nodded.
"You know most people don't have to bribe their fiancées to help them," Freddie said.
"Yeah, well, you do," Sam smirked, giving him a quick kiss. "Come on, let's get this all over with."
The two headed into Freddie's bedroom, which was still covered in Galaxy Wars posters and other various childhood trinkets.
"So you brining all this with you?" Sam asked, looking at his shelf filled with past computer models and gadgets.
"Yeah," Freddie nodded, carefully beginning to place the items in the cardboard box he had brought. "And there's some cables and cords in the closet that you can get too."
Sam started over to the closet door and opened up, revealing a life size poster of Nug Nug.
"God…how can be marrying such a giant dork?" Sam cringed. "I'm telling you now, nub, you're not putting any of this geek stuff up in our bedroom."
"We compromised about this, baby," Freddie said. "Remember? I get to keep my Galaxy Wars stuff and my tech stuff and you get to keep that weird zombie sculpture that gives me a heart attack each time I pass it."
"Eh, whatever," Sam sighed, looking through the cords. "Hey…what's in all these other boxes in here?"
"Oh, probably just old school stuff," Freddie shrugged. "I liked to save everything after each year in case I ever needed to reference it again."
"Why would you ever need to look at your old American History notes again?" Sam asked.
"I dunno, but if ever do, I'll be prepared," Freddie said.
"Hey…this is your old notebook from our eighth grade English class with Briggs," Sam chuckled. "Man…that was the worst class ever."
She opened up the notebook and began flipping through the pages. "Yeah…I actually kind of remember this stuff."
"How? You slept through that entire class," Freddie chuckled. "Well, when you weren't throwing spitballs at me, that is. Man…if anybody ever came up to me in Ms. Briggs' class and told me one day I'd be getting ready to marry you…I think I would've had more of a heart attack than when I walk past the zombie."
"Tell me about it," Sam smirked, continuing to flip through the notebook. "But seriously, I totally remember not doing half of these assignments! Here's the report we had to do on Catcher in the Rye…I said mine got stolen by a mime; here's the dumb haikus we had to do…I got an F for using to many 'inappropriate words'; oh and here's some notes from one of Briggs' insanely boring lectures, God those were the worst. Hey…what's this written here in the margin…Mr. Carly Shay…I love Carly…Carly and Freddie forever."
"Oh, Sam, I-I can explain!" Freddie stuttered quickly, nearly dropping the vintage keyboard in his hands as his eyes widened in shock. "I didn't mean that! That was-"
"Relax, Fredbutt, we all know you used to have a massively pathetic crush on Carly when we were kids," Sam told him. "It's nothing new. No need to freak out."
"Well I-I-I'm just gonna take that notebook still," Freddie said, reaching for it. "And-And burn it. Because-Because I definitely don't love Carly like that."
"I know," Sam said, keeping the notebook out of his reach. "But hold on, I wanna see what other assignments I got out of. It makes me kind of proud."
"Well-Well I have a ton of other old notebooks!" Freddie said, still trying to grab to notebook from her. "You-You can look through those to see what you didn't do! Not that one! That-That one's just dumb!"
"Why are you spazzing out?" Sam frowned.
"I-I'm not spazzing!" Freddie said reflexively. "I-I'm just…Just give me the notebook!"
"No!" Sam said firmly.
"Sam! There's nothing in there that's worth you looking at!" Freddie said.
"Then why do you care if go through it?"
"I don't! But-But don't!"
"Alright, that's it!" Sam snapped, grabbing Freddie's arm and flipping him facedown on his bed. She then sat on top of him, pinning him down so that he couldn't make another grab for the notebook.
"Sam! Sam get off me!" Freddie yelled, struggling underneath her. "And put that notebook down!"
"Dude, what is your deal?" Sam asked, flipping through more pages. "Why do you care if I see your old English notes and chiz? It's nothing that-hey…hey what's this list in the back here?"
"Sam!" Freddie yelled louder. "Sam, don't read that! Sam, that-that's not-"
"Reasons why Carly is way better than Sam ever will be?" Sam read softly. "Oh my God…you-you actually made a list of why you like Carly more than me?"
"No!" Freddie exclaimed frantically. "That-That wasn't-It's a different Carly! And-And a different Sam!"
"Reason number one," Sam continued to read. "Carly is bubbly and adorable, while Sam is loud and obnoxious."
"Sam! Please stop-"
"Reason number two!" Sam cut him off. "Carly's hair is soft and silky; Sam's is knotty and smells like meat."
"Sam-"
"Reason number three!" Sam went on. "Carly is the nicest girl in the whole school; Sam is the worst girl in the whole school."
"That's not-"
"Reason number four!" Sam snapped. "Carly is super smart; Sam is dumber than a candlestick."
"I don't-"
"Reason number five! Carly is perfect…Sam-Sam is just a mess."
"Sam, g-give me that," Freddie said, finally managing to get out from underneath her.
Sam looked up at him, tears in her eyes. "Oh my God..." she whispered. "You-You really hated me back then. Like-Like really hated me."
"Sam, no I didn't," Freddie said softly. "I-I didn't mean any of that stuff on-"
"I knew we were kind of enemies back then," Sam said, her voice shaking. "But-But I always thought that was just kind of this little game we played. I-I thought we both knew that-that we still actually cared about each other!"
"I did care about you!" Freddie said.
"Oh, yeah, it sure seems like it!" Sam spat, thrusting the notebook at him. "You cared about me so much that you wrote out a bulleted list about why my best friend is so much more perfect than me. I-I can't believe you thought all this about me! You really thought I was just some obnoxious, disgusting, dumb, terrible mess!"
"No!" Freddie said at once. "No, Sam, listen to me! I didn't mean any of that! I mean for crying out loud, I wrote that list ten years ago! Back when I was just some stupid kid drooling over the girl across the hall."
"Yes, the bubbly, nice, smart perfect girl," Sam spat.
"Sam, you're perfect," Freddie said desperately. "You! You're the one who I love more than anything on this earth!"
"Oh sure!" San snapped.
"Sam! Come on; this-this is crazy!" Freddie said. "This was in the eight grade! And-And what about all that stuff you used to say to me! You used to tell me that I'd never get married or that I was useless or that I-"
"I told you all that to your face!" Sam said. "I didn't sit there and carefully formulate a list of why I thought some other person was just ten times better than you! Besides, I never actually believed any of that! I told you; I thought it was all just our own little game! A special little thing we had between us, all the teasing!"
"Well I never meant any of this either!" Freddie said.
"You don't sit there and take the time to make lists about things you don't actually mean," Sam said, crossing her arms.
"Sam," Freddie sighed. "Look, I-I'm so sorry. This was a stupid thing for me to have done and I wish I could go back and-"
"You know," Sam cut him off. "If you actually thought all of this horrible stuff about me…I don't know why you'd want to be stuck with me for the rest of your life."
"No, Sam," Freddie said. "Sam, I don't-"
But Sam had already turned and raced out of the room.
…
Freddie spent the entire afternoon looking all over Seattle for Sam. He checked across the hall at Spencer's apartment, back at the place her and Carly shared, at the Groovy Smoothie, Tub of Chicken…but the blonde was nowhere to be seen. He returned back to his old apartment, wondering if maybe he should call Carly and see if she had seen his fiancée, when he suddenly spotted her as he passed by his fire escape. She was sitting out in her usual seat, her feet propped up against the railing, staring out at the sky.
Freddie took a deep breath before stepping out to join her.
"Hi," he said, startling her slightly, though she quickly looked away and made no response.
"I-I was looking all over for you," Freddie said, sitting down in the seat next to her. "Guess-Guess I should've known you'd be out here though…it's where you always come when you want to be alone."
Sam was still silent.
Freddie reached into his pocked and pulled out a folded sheet of paper and handed it to her. "Here."
Sam frowned. "What is this?" she finally spoke.
"A new, improved, far more accurate list," Freddie told her. "Go on; read it."
Sam looked down at the list. "Reasons Why Sam is By Far the Most Perfect Woman I Could Ever Imagine?"
"That's right," Freddie nodded.
"Reason one," she read. "She may be loud, but she always stands up for what is right and doesn't let herself or others get pushed around. Reason two; her hair shines like gold and smells like cherry blossoms. Reason three; if you take the time to get to know her she is one of the sweetest girls you'll ever meet. Reason four; she's extremely smart, even if she doesn't like to show it off. Reason five; she's simply perfect, and I love her."
"So?" Freddie smiled.
"Cute," Sam mumbled simply handing him the paper pack with a scowl still etched on her face.
"Baby," Freddie sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I ever made that list. I really am. It was stupid and-and insensitive and-and I really, really regret it. But-But you've got to know…I never meant any of that. Not now, and not even back then."
"Well then why'd you even write that list?" Sam asked. "If you didn't actually hate me like that."
"Well…okay," Freddie said. "See…when we were younger…it-it was just, well…the-the idea of liking Carly was just easy for me. I mean she was nice to me and she was attractive…really, it was a brainless decision to drool over."
"You're really not helping yourself right now," Sam said.
"Well…what I'm saying is…liking Carly back then was just so…safe," Freddie said. "But the idea of liking someone like you was, well, kind of-kind of not so safe because, well, you weren't a typical sugary sweet, overly nice and polite, daffodil girl. I mean liking the same girl who would constantly give you wedgies and shove you into lockers…it's kind of, well, scary. So-So when I would find myself thinking about you or staring a few seconds longer at you than I did at Carly it-it freaked me out. So I would do whatever I thought would help push you out of my mind and Carly back into it because, well, that was just so much easier for my thirteen-year old self to wrap my brain around. Even if it involved making lists that even back then I knew were nothing but a bunch of lies."
Sam's frown slowly softened. "You-You had feelings for me back then?"
"I-I never understood them," Freddie admitted. "I mean, again, I was just a kid, but-but yeah. There were times when I'd find myself thinking that you looked really pretty one day or-or when I would touch your hand on accident when I handed you your iCarly remote and my heart would start to race…I never knew what to really make of all that."
Sam was silent.
"But then…as I got older, I realized…I realized that-that all the things I had always thought were reasons why I should like Carly were-were all just-just kind of superficial. Her looks and the way she'd be nice to everyone to their face, no matter how much she really didn't like them…that was all just one layer of her. Yeah, they were all very safe characteristics to be attracted to, but-but there's just so much more to a person that how they appear on the outside. See, Sam, with you…yeah, at first glance you may seem like this aggressive, rude, selfish person, but if you take the time back to get past that first layer…there's-there's way more to you. You realize you act so tough because you've been hurt so many time before, not because you're mean. You realize that you care so much about the people close to you. You realize that your stubbornness is just passion. You realize that you're not as fearless as you pretend to be; that you're afraid sometimes. You realize that whenever you're around, the room just seems light up. That it's impossible not to laugh when you're with you. That you can make anybody feel better by just being yourself."
He reached into his pocket and pulled out another sheet of paper.
"Is that another list?" Sam asked softly.
"No," Freddie replied. "It's a letter I wrote right now to my thirteen-year old self."
He cleared his throat. "Dear thirteen-year old me. Right now, you're probably so sure that the girl who you're destined to be with is right across the hall. And you're kind of right. The girl who you're destined to be with does spend a lot of time over there…but it's not Carly. It's Sam. That's right…the crazy blonde who can eat an entire ham in less than twenty minutes and can flip a truck driver is the girl who will always have your heart. I bet you're freaking out right about now even thinking about this, but, well, it's true, and deep, deep down…you know it is too. See, eventually, you're going to realize that as great a friend as Carly may be…she's just not the one for you. And eventually, you're going to slowly start to see that there's so much more to Sam that you would never realize if you didn't take the time to get to know her; to peel back her layers little by little. In about a year, she will be your first kiss, and even though you'll both say it's 'just to get it over with', you're going to feel sparks and fireworks that will keep you lying awake for months. Soon you'll start to get this bubbling hatred festering inside of you every time she shows interest in another guy. You'll brush it off at first, but it will get harder…And then when you guys are sixteen, Sam, being the brave one, will kiss you, this time not to just get it over with, and you'll finally see that being with someone isn't scary; it's exciting, and spontaneous, and breath-taking. And after a whole series of events and a visit to a questionable mental hospital, Sam will become your girlfriend, and it will be amazing. But you two will both be uncharted waters, and maybe that's the reason that-that it will end after just one month. But that month won't be wasted. Because in that short month, you'll have learned even more about her; you'll learn that you love her. You'll spend the next ten months pretending you don't, though. You'll do some stupid things that you'll regret the second you do them. You'll pretend that you don't have any more desires to reach for her hand or tell her she's beautiful or to kiss her…you'll pretend they don't exist, but they will. But then, halfway through senior year…you'll finally come to your senses. You'll realize that being without Sam is ten times worse than any form of torture she has ever put you through. You two will get back together, and you'll make a vow to yourself that you'll never be stupid enough to let her go again. And you don't. She'll stun you at prom when she comes down the stairs dressed in the most spectacular purple gown. She'll be the first person to congratulate you when you get into MIT. And after you graduate, even though you'll be going to colleges on two different sides of the country, you'll never feel alone. Even talking to her over the phone will make any impossible exam you just took or insane professor you had to listen to seem like no big deal. And then when you finish MIT and move back to Seattle with Sam permanently once again, you'll think that nothing could ever be any better; that nothing could ever make you happier. But you'll be wrong. Because the night when you take her out onto your fire escape and get down on one knee and ask her to be your wife and she says yes…that's the happiest you'll ever be. So…as crazy and unlikely as it may seem for your thirteen-year old self to take in, just know that you're really in for one amazing ride with Sam Puckett in your life. She really is the only girl out there for you; nobody will ever be able to come close to her."
Freddie looked up from the paper and at his fiancée. "Well, um, I-I can't actually send that to thirteen-year old self. You know, because of the whole time travel issue."
"Yeah," Sam whispered. "I know."
"Listen," Freddie said. "I really am sorry about that list."
Sam sighed. "I know you are….And-And that letter…that was really nice. You're gonna have a hard time topping that with your vows."
"I'll find a way," Freddie chuckled. He slowly reached for her hand and took it in his. "So are we alright?"
Sam gave him a small smile and craned her neck to kiss him. "Yeah…we're alright."
