Sighting

"When is this going to be over?" Sam moaned as she sat crouched by the toilet. "When?"
"Soon, baby," her husband said, gently pulling back her hair. "Real soon."

"I thought the morning sickness was supposed to be just at the beginning," Sam mumbled. "I'm almost nine months! Why the heck am I still puking?"

"Well the doctor said everybody's different," Freddie said as he helped her up to her feet.

"Yeah, well, why do I have to be part of the crowd that still throws up first thing when they wake up?" Sam snapped. "God…all those women who say pregnancy is a dream are lunatics! I'm nauseous all the time, my feet are so swollen I can barely walk, my back feels like it's about to break, I keep getting these stupid hot flashes, my heartburn's the worst, I have to pee forty times a day-"

"Your mood swings suck," Freddie added.

Sam glared at him.

"Er, but-but that's okay, because you're perfectly entitled to be as moody as you want," Freddie said quickly. "You're carrying my child and I should shut up with my stupid complaining."

"Nice save," Sam mumbled. "Now make me some toast."

"Alright," Freddie nodded.

As the two headed out of the bathroom and into the kitchen they heard their front door open, and a moment later Carly and Gibby came in.

"Hey, have you guys checked you email yet today?" Carly asked.

"No, I've been too busy vomiting my guts out," Sam sighed, sitting down at the table.

"Gross," Gibby cringed. "Why would I want to hear about your vomit first thing in the morning?"

"Because seeing your face just makes more vomit spew out!" Sam spat.

"Okay…can we stop saying vomit now?" Freddie frowned. He turned to Carly. "What about our emails now?"

"Guess who might be getting out of prison two years early?" Carly said. "Nora!"

"Nora?" Sam exclaimed. "That psycho? I thought she was supposed to be locked up for ten years!"

"Yeah, you can't be serious," Freddie said. "Why would they let her out early? Did they not see what happened last time they did that? She kidnapped us again!"

"I know!" Carly said. "You think I forgot? But it's going to be the same deal as last time. Me, you, Sam, Gibby and Spencer will all have the chance to go to Olympia and give our opinions on whether she should be released or not. And this time we know we can't fall for her 'I'm so sorry' act. That loony chick needs to stay locked up!"
"Yeah, you know I still can't look at chimneys now without feeling all claustrophobic," Gibby said.

"And Spencer can't watch that game show with the wheel without running out of the room screaming," Carly nodded. "Anyway, the hearing's in two days. I've already told Spencer and he said he can get Socko's RV to drive us all out there."

"Um, hold on, do all of us have to be there?" Sam asked. "Because I'm not really feeling a road trip right now."

"Why?" Gibby asked.

"Um, because I'm super pregnant, dipthong!" Sam said.

"So?"

"Gibby, it's like you're asking to be murdered here," Freddie said, rolling his eyes. He turned back to Carly. "But she has a point. Is there anyway me and Sam could just send in our opinions on video or something?"

"No, the email said all victims of Nora's crime must be present or we won't have a chance to speak at all," Carly said. "And Olympia really isn't that far away. Plus it's not like this will be an all day thing; we go, tell the judge we want Nora to finish out her prison sentence and then come home."

Freddie glanced over at Sam. "Well…it-it is important for us to make sure Nora stays locked up; especially with this baby on the way."

"Yeah, I guess," Sam sighed, placing a hand on her abdomen. "I'd hate for this kid to come into the world knowing there's a maniac on the loose."

"Okay, how about this?" Freddie said. "Sam has a doctor's appointment today. If he says she's alright to travel to Olympia, we're in."

"Perfect," Carly said brightly. "I'll tell Spencer the news. Come on, Gib."

"Wait," Gibby said as Freddie slid Sam's toast onto the table. "I want some toast."
"Tough, it's mine," Sam said.

"You know, just because you're pregnant doesn't mean you can just eat all the food without sharing," Gibby said.

"Alright, you really are asking to get hit now," Carly said, quickly yanking Gibby up by his arm. "We'll see you guys later. Just make sure to call me and tell me what the doctor says."

"We will," Freddie promised.

As the two of them left, Freddie turned back to his wife. "Crazy, isn't it? That they'd even consider letting Nora out early after multiple kidnapping stunts."

"I know!" Sam nodded. "Especially since they're still not letting up on the time my Aunt Connie has to serve for stealing all that cat litter."

"I mean they can't let her out, they just can't!" Freddie continued. "What if she tries to get revenge on us? You-You don't think she'd try to hurt our baby, do you?"
"She tries that and she'll be begging to be back in jail," Sam said firmly.

"Well let's just hope she doesn't get the chance to even try," Freddie said. He leaned down to kiss her. "Because she'll have me to deal with too."

"Real threatening, Fredwad," Sam chuckled. "Hey…you know what would go good with this toast?"
"Want me to make you some eggs?"

"No…I'm thinking onion rings," Sam said. "Oh, and a chocolate milkshake."

"Well, Sam, I'd actually have to go out and get that for you," Freddie said. "And with your doctor's appointment in an hour, by the time I got back I wouldn't even have time to eat breakfast myself before we'd have to leave."

"Well fine, I guess if you're more concerned with your hunger than your unborn child's," Sam sighed.

"Come on, don't pull that card," Freddie moaned. "You already used it twice yesterday to make me get you a churro and a chicken sandwich!"

"You're right," Sam said. "You running out to get me food really is too much of me to ask from you. Especially when I'm not doing anything really important like, oh, I don't know, growing another human inside of me!"

Freddie let out a long breath as he grabbed his keys. "Okay, okay, I'm getting your food. Just stop guilting me already!"

…..

"Alright, according to the directions I got on my Pearpad, we should be there in about ten minutes," Carly said as she sat at the small table in the RV with Freddie, Sam, and Gibby. "Spence, just make a right at the next light and the prison will be on the left."

"Righty-O," Spencer nodded from the driver seat.

"So how you holding up, Sam?" Carly asked.

"Pretty good, I guess," Sam shrugged. "The baby's being extra feisty in there, though."
"Maybe he or she is just excited to be on a road trip," Carly chuckled.

"Hey, you guys think Nora could tell me how to make all those Norwegian dishes she made last time?" Gibby asked.

"Huh?" Freddie frowned. "Gib, why would you want recipes from the psycho who looked us in her house when we were teenagers?"

"Because my power walking group is having an international pot luck," Gibby explained.

"We're not going here to ask Nora how she made that disgusting food!" Carly said firmly. "We're going to make sure she stays locked up! Is everybody on the same page? We're not going to feel bad for her or get tricked into thinking she changed her ways, understand?"

"We know, Carls, we're not going to make the same mistake twice," Freddie nodded as Sam shifted uncomfortably in her seat. He turned to his wife. "You okay?"

"Uh-huh," she nodded. "Just cramps."

"Is that normal?" Carly asked.

"Yeah," Sam sighed. "At the doctors the other day he said there's going to be a lot of 'discomfort' until the baby's born, but it's nothing to freak out over."
"Boy, you make being pregnant sound like a blast," Carly smirked.

"Oh yeah, being the size of a whale's a real treat," Sam said, rolling her eyes.

"Hey, do you think the baby can hear everything that's going on out here?" Gibby asked.

"A lot of people do, yeah," Freddie nodded. "Which is why Sam and I have been reading to the baby every night for the past few months. That way when he or she is born, our voices will already be familiar."

"Why?" Sam asked Gibby.

"Well because I was thinking that I could run some new ideas I had for a children's book by it," Gibby replied.

"You're writing a children's book?" Carly frowned.

"Yeah, I figure I should give back a little to the kids," Gibby said.

"Well what ideas do you have so far?" Freddie asked.

"Oh, right now I have 'How to Tell if Your Parents Really Love You', 'What's that Smell Coming from Grandpa?', and 'The Truth About the Easter Bunny'."

"Gibby, those all sound like horrible ideas for a children's book," Carly said.

"Yeah, a children's book is supposed to be sweet and happy," Freddie said. "They're not supposed to tell a kid his parents might not love him or that the Easter Bunny isn't real!"

"I dunno, I'm kind of liking the sound of that grandpa one," Sam said. "A book like that would've saved me a lot of confusion growing up."

"Hey, you guys, we're here!" Spencer said, pulling into an empty parking lot.

"Huh…it seems kind of deserted," Carly commented, looking around. "I don't see any other cars."

"Well most prisoners don't get to bring their vehicles with them when they get arrested," Sam smirked.

"Yeah, and they probably have a separate parking lot for the officers and stuff," Freddie said.

"Right, and besides, it's not like prison is a hot hangout place," Spencer added. "How many people would be here if they didn't have to be anyway?"

"Hey! Their pot pies to die for!" Sam defended. "Oh, speaking of which, think I can snag a few while we're in there? I'm starved!"

"Here," Freddie smiled, reaching into his bag and pulling out a sandwich. "Peanut butter and jelly."

"Aw, baby, I was just craving that," Sam smiled, giving him a quick kiss. "You really are learning."
"Well…I guess you guys are you right," Carly shrugged. "Come on, there's the entrance. Let's go in."

The group entered the prison and stepped over to the front desk. The entrance area was just as empty as the parking lot.

"Okay…where is everybody in here?" Freddie frowned. "This is kind of weird."

"Yeah, this place is usually buzzing with CO's," Sam nodded.

"Hello?" an officer said, coming out from a back room and stepping over to the desk. "Are you here for Nora Dershlit's appeal hearing?"

"Yes," Carly nodded. "That's us."

"Great," the officer said. "We have a special room all set up for you. Just follow me."

"Hey, why's this place so empty?" Spencer asked as the group began to follow the officer back through a long hallway.

"Yeah," Freddie said. "Shouldn't there be other visitors and officers around?"

"Oh, visiting hours aren't until three this afternoon. The time before that is used for special circumstances like this." the officer told him. "And the rest of the CO's are in the break room. We just got a fancy new espresso machine."

"Oh sweet, I'd love an espresso," Gibby said.

"Yeah…I bet you would," the officer nodded as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He unlocked a door and opened it up and led the group into a large room with a few couches, a long table, and even a recliner. There was a large window that let the group look into another, much smaller room with only a single chair and table.

"Wow, this place is real spacey," Spencer commented. "It's nicer than my own living room!"

"Well yeah, there's no fire damage," Carly chuckled.

"We figured you all deserved to be comfortable while we go through this procedure," the officer told them. "Considering what Ms. Dershlit has already put you through. Now, I'm going to go get her out of her cell. She will be in that room back there."

"Where will the judge be?" Freddie asked.

"Um…in-in here with you all," the officer said quickly. "Now just make yourself at home."

The officer headed out of the room, closing the door behind him.

"Well, at least this set up is pretty decent," Gibby commented, sitting down in the recliner.

"Yeah," Sam agreed, stepping over next to him. "Now up."

"Why?" Gibby frowned. "I got here first!"
"Dude, she's pregnant," Spencer said.

"Yeah, just let her sit," Freddie nodded.

"Fine," Gibby moaned. "You know, you guys weren't this sensitive to me after I had that wart removed."

"So this whole thing should be quick you said, right?" Sam asked, taking Gibby's seat.

"I think so," Carly said.

"Good," Sam said. "Because their place kind of gives me a weird vibe."

"A weird vibe?" Spencer repeated.

"Yeah, I dunno, it's just…I've been in a lot of jails, but for some reason this one doesn't sit well with me," Sam shrugged.

"Maybe it's just the pregnancy hormones," Freddie suggested.

"Yeah, probably," Sam said slowly. She rested her hands on her stomach. "Alright, kid, let's calm it down in there. Mommy's bladder is not a trampoline. Is there a bathroom in this room?"

"Yeah, that door right there, it looks like," Carly said, nodding over to a door.

"You're right," Gibby said, stepping over to the door and opening it. "It's kind of a pigsty in there though. Good thing I still have my men's room attendant skills with me. Give me ten minutes and I'll have this place looking like a place you've only dreamed of peeing in."

"Well at least that got rid of him," Sam mumbled as Gibby disappeared into the bathroom. "I wonder what's taking so long for Nora to get in here."
Right on cue, though, the door in the next room behind the window opened and Nora ran in.

"Oh my God!" she cried, pressing her face right up against the glass, as if she were a child staring at a zoo exhibit. "It's really you! It's really all the iCarlys! All but…wait! Where's Gibby? I demand Gibby!"

"Did someone call?" Gibby asked, poking his head out of the bathroom.

"Gibby!" Nora cheered.

"Oh, hey Nora," Gibby said. "Hey, any chance you could give me that recipe for-"

"Gibby!" Carly snapped. She turned back to Nora, who was still staring into the room with her usual crazed expression. "Look, Nora, this isn't some fuzzy reunion. We're here to make sure you serve your time for what you did to us. All of your time. So as soon as the judge comes in here we're going to tell him that-"

"Oh Carly," Nora laughed, shaking her head. "Silly Carly…"

"Silly Carly?" Carly frowned.

"Yeah, see…there's no judge coming," Nora grinned.

"What are you talking about, Nora?" Sam demanded, getting to her feet.

"Of course there's a judge coming!" Spencer said.

"Yeah, and he's going to make sure you stay locked up!" Freddie nodded.

"No…" Nora beamed. "Surprise! This was all a giant set-up!"

"A set up?" Sam exclaimed.

"What-What are you-how could this be a set up?" Carly sputtered.

"Yeah, we were just brought in here by a real officer," Gibby said.

"You mean this officer?" Nora said as the door behind her opened and the same man who led the group into the room stepped in behind her. "iCarlys, I'd like for you all to meet my cousin, Roy."

"Wait…you're her cousin?" Freddie said, looking at the officer.

"That's right," Roy nodded.

"Okay! I am officially lost!" Spencer said.

"Oh Spencer, of course you are," Nora chuckled. "I know you don't have much inside that pretty little head of yours."

"Hey!" Spencer exclaimed, indignantly.

"Guys!" Carly said, turning the knob of the door. "Guys, this door is locked!"

"Well duh; I couldn't have you escape, could I?" Nora said. "That'd defeat the purpose of this whole set up!"

"Well…somebody must need to be in this room after us," Freddie reasoned. "So when they try to get in here we can just."

"Oh Freddie," Nora sighed. "Nobody's going to try to get in here. This prison has been closed for a whole year now. It's completely empty! Well, except for its five new prisoners."

"I-I think she means us," Gibby said.

"How-How can this prison be shut down?" Carly said.

"Well there have been some pretty hefty budget cuts lately," Spencer pointed out. "I mean the economy's been in a real bad state, Carly. Lots of places have had to-"

"Oh, now you decide to sound intelligent?" Sam snapped.

"Should we explain our victory to our confused hostages?" Roy asked Nora.

"Well…it's not like they have anything better going on," Nora laughed. "Oh…giggle."

"Okay, this is insane!" Carly said. "You can't keep us locked up in an abandoned prison!"

"Oh but I can," Nora laughed. "See, you silly iCarlys…there was never any appeal about my sentence length being reduced! In fact, I got an additional ten years tacked on for an, er, unfortunate misunderstanding with my cell mate. But I wasn't going to sit around for all those years just rotting in prison. Luckily, a year ago, once this prison got shut down, I was transferred to the prison where Roy here works. Once we were reunited, I shared my plans for revenge against you all with him and he agreed to help me. After he sent you all those fake emails about my appeal, he slipped a fake court notice to his boss, and it was arranged that he would escort me there. But he didn't! He took me here instead! And now that I have you all trapped in this room, we're finally going to have the friendly experience we should've had years ago!"

"Wow…that prison of hers really needs better management," Spencer commented.

"Nora!" Carly said loudly. "You can't just keep us locked in this room!"

"That's it, I'm calling the cops," Freddie said, pulling out his phone.

"Like I didn't already plan ahead for this," Nora smiled. "There's no phone service in this entire building!"

"She's right," Sam moaned, looking at her own phone.

"Nora, come on, this doesn't even make any sense!" Freddie yelled. "Locking us up for a third time isn't going to make us be your friends! If anything it just makes us hate you even more!"

"Yeah, there are other ways to make friends, you know!" Spencer nodded.

"Ways that don't rise you even higher on the crazy scale!" Carly snapped.

"Hey!" Nora screamed loudly. "That's it! It's time you see what's going to happen during your stay here every time you iCarlys are unpleasant!"

She held up a remote and pressed a button, causing a loud, blaring alarm to sound inside the room, shattering the group's eardrums.

"Turn that off!" Sam shouted, covering her ears.

"Have you learned your lesson?" Nora asked over the blaring.

"Yes, yes, just shut it off!" Carly cried.

Nora pressed the button on the remote and the noise was silenced.

"Now are we are all going to behave?" Nora asked.

"Okay, we get it," Freddie said, stepping closer to the window. "But Nora, Sam is very, very pregnant. This stress isn't good for her or the baby!"

"Aw! Sam! You're pregnant!" Nora smiled. "I thought you just got fat!"

"Yeah, Nora, can't-can't you at least let Sam go?" Carly asked.

"Oh, like she wouldn't run to the cops the second she was free," Nora scoffed.

"Well it was worth a try," Carly sighed.

"Guys, how are we going to get out of here?" Gibby asked. "I have an aerobics class tomorrow morning, and there's no refunds!"

"Who cares about your aerobics class?" Freddie snapped. "My wife is just weeks away from her due date and she's stuck in a room with a psycho!"

"Well eventually the prison she's supposed to be in has got to realize what's going on," Spencer said. "And then they can come and rescue-"

But just then the alarm sounded through the room again.

"Hey!" Nora said. "No talking escape plans in there! Friends don't try to get away from friends!"

"Listen you psycho, we're never, ever going to be your friends!" Sam fumed. "No matter how many times you lock us up! So just let us go now and when I'm beating you and your whackjob cousin to a pulp, I may show a little bit of mercy!"

"Sam, baby, calm down," Freddie said. "Don't get yourself worked up!"

"How can I not get worked up?" Sam yelled.

"I know what will make you feel better, Sam!" Nora said cheerfully, pressing another button on her remote, causing the blaring alarm to be replaced by an odd folk song. "This is a track off of one of my favorite cassettes!"

"Cassettes?" Spencer repeated.

"Now!" Nora said firmly. "You all relax and get comfortable while Roy and I go get you some tasty treats. You're going to be here for a while…"

The two cousins turned and headed out of the room, laughing psychotically together.

"Guys, what do we do?" Carly moaned. "Is there any way out of here?"

"I-I don't know," Freddie said. "Gibby is in here with us; he can't fight her."
"What about the chip your mom had implanted in you?" Spencer asked.

"I got that removed the second I turned eighteen," Freddie said.

"Well that was a dumb idea!" Sam snapped, thumping her husband on the back of his head.

"It was your idea!" Freddie said.

"Alright, well…we-we'll think of something," Spencer said. "But right now, Sam? Are you feeling okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine!" Sam said. "Stop worrying about me; you should be worried about what I'm going to do to Nora when I get my hands on her!"

"Sam, you can't beat her up when you're nine months pregnant," Freddie said.

"Well then I'll wait until I have the kid then track her down and-"

"Hey!" Gibby said suddenly. "I got it! I know how we can get out!"

"How?" Carly asked anxiously.

"We call T-Bo!" Gibby said proudly.

The other four stared blankly back at him.

"What?" Gibby frowned.

"You moron!" Sam snapped. "You heard Nora say there was no phone signal in this place! How the heck do you want to call T-Bo? With Morse Code?"

"Well how'd she turn off the phone service?" Gibby asked. "I didn't even know that was a thing!"

"There are these devices that can disable phone and Internet services within a certain perimeter," Freddie explained. "She probably got one of those."

He looked around the room and nodded to a small, black box sitting by the bathroom door. "Yup, there it is."

"Wait a minute," Sam said. "Can't you just turn it off? Wouldn't that bring back the phone service and let us call for help?"

"Well…maybe," Freddie said thoughtfully. "They're a little tricky to work with, though. But, well, I guess if I can sit down and really look at it I'd probably be able to disable it. But if Nora sees me messing with it she'll know what's up and just blast that alarm thing again!"

"Take it into the bathroom!" Spencer said. "She can't see you in there…right?"

"Who knows, that crazy chick probably has cameras hooked up in there too," Carly sighed. "But we've got to try. Just-Just take it in there and see what happens. If the alarm goes off come out and we'll think of a new plan. Hurry; get in there before she comes back!"
"Alright," Freddie said, quickly hurrying over to the device and picking it up. "Come get me if anything happens."

"We will," Spencer promised.

"I can't believe this," Sam moaned. "How can we let ourselves get tricked by this lunatic three times?"

"Well, this was a pretty clever plan," Gibby said. "She really thought of everything. It was real-"

"Gibby!"

…..

"-And this is a picture of me when I was eight at a petting zoo," Nora said from the other room almost six hours later. She help up the picture against the glass window. "All the animals ran away from me…but I got a really good Sno-Cone! Now this next picture is of me at Dingo World where-"

"How much longer do you think Freddie's going to take?" Carly whispered to Sam, who was laying down on one of the couches. "I can't take much more of these stories."

"I don't know," Sam moaned.

"You alright?" Carly frowned, concerned.

"I feel super nauseous," Sam mumbled. "I think that the Thai food Nora fed us didn't agree with me. Plus these dang cramps still haven't gone away from this morning. And I've got to pee again."

Carly helped her up to her feet, and then Sam trudged over to the bathroom and pounded on the door.

"Yeah?" Freddie asked, poking his head out.

"I got to pee, Fredbag," Sam snapped. "Out."

"Alright, alright," Freddie said. "Just don't touch the device in there. I think I'm finally getting somewhere with it."
"Good!" Sam said. "Because I want to get out of here!"

"I know," Freddie said. "Don't worry, baby, I'm going to get you out of here as soon as I can."

"If you say so," Sam mumbled, pushing past him as she closed the bathroom door behind her.

"How's it going in there?" Spencer whispered Freddie.

"That device is real complicated," Freddie sighed. "But I'm thinking within another five hours I should have it."
"five hours?" Gibby whispered.

"Well it's a process!"

"Hey!" Nora said loudly, startling the group. "You guys aren't paying attention to my photos!"
"Er, sure-sure we are," Freddie said lamely.

"No, you've been in the bathroom almost this entire time," Nora accused.

"Well, um, that's-that's just because I-I'm…sick," Freddie said lamely. "Yeah, um, that-that Thai food really gave me an upset stomach."

"Aw, poor Freddie," Nora said. "Don't worry; when I bring you your next meal, I'll get your some antacids. See? Aren't I a real kind friend?"

"Oh…you-you're the best," Freddie muttered as Sam stepped back out of the bathroom. "Well…um…bye!"

"I think the baby realizes it's trapped," Sam said softly to the others as Freddie darted back into the bathroom. "Because it's kicking extra hard."

"Alright guys, now we're going to look at old pictures of me from when I graduated the eighth grade!" Nora said excitedly, picking up another photo album.

"Ugh!" Sam moaned. "Enough with the pictures, Nora! Nobody wants to see your lame childhood!"
Nora gasped, offended, and quickly reached for her remote and blasted the alarm once more.

"Sam! Stop insulting her!" Carly cried, covering her ears. "She's just going to keep doing that!"
"See? Carly gets it!" Nora beamed, stopping the alarm.

"I don't care!" Sam yelled. "I'm sick of being pent up in here! I'm bloated and uncomfortable enough as it is right now; I don't need this on top of it all!"

"What happened? Why'd the alarm go off?" Freddie asked, coming out of the bathroom again.

"Sam insulted Nora," Gibby explained.

"And I'm going to keep insulting her!" Sam said, flaring up. "I'm done just sitting around! I don't care if that window is made of that Maxi Glass junk or not, I'm going to break it down and go in there and-"

She let her sentence fall, though, as her eyes suddenly grew wide.

"Well!" Nora snipped, getting to her feet. "That little outburst just lost you the Fudge Pops I got special for you guys. Now you get the low-fat fruit bars!"

As she stormed out of her room, the others quickly turned to Sam.

"Sam?" Freddie said. "What's-"

"I-My water just broke," Sam said, trying to stay as calm as possible.

"What?" Carly exclaimed. "Oh my God!"

"Oh no…No, this-this isn't good!" Freddie said, panicked.

"Well just fix it!" Gibby said.

"Sam, are you sure you're in labor right now?" Carly asked. "I-I thought you weren't due for another three weeks!"
"Carly, you know when a person's coming out of you!" Sam snapped, clutching her side. "Ow! Ow! Ah…that was a contraction! Man, those things really do hurt!"

"Alright, Freddie, you've got to get the phone service back in here now so we can call for help," Spencer said. "Put your tech skills and get in there and speed it up!"

"I can't go in there now!" Freddie said. "I have to be out here with Sam!"

"Freddie, go!" Sam yelled, wincing in pain. "Just fix the phones so I can get to a hospital!"

"We'll stay out here and take care of her," Carly assured him.

"I-Okay," Freddie nodded, realizing that as much as he wanted to be with his wife right now, Carly was right.

He leaned down and placed a small kiss on Sam's forehead. "You got this baby," he whispered. "I-I'm going to make sure this is all okay. I promise, I'll make sure when our son or daughter comes into this world, Nora will not be its first sight."

"Alright," Sam whispered, and Freddie could tell how afraid she really was.

"I love you," Freddie said, giving her another kiss. He looked at the other three. "You all come get me if anything happens here, got it?"

"Yes, now hurry and get back in there!" Carly said as Spencer helped Sam over to the couch.

"The baby can't be born in here," Sam moaned as she gripped Spencer's hand tightly, feeling another contraction ripple through her body. "It just can't be!"
"It won't," Spencer told her. "You-You'll see; this will all be alright, Sam."

"Do you know anything about helping women in labor?" Carly asked her brother desperately.

"Why would I know anything?" Spencer frowned. "I don't even have a girlfriend!"

"Well you watch the Health Channel a lot!"

"That's because I'm just curious!"

"Ow!" Sam cried again, grabbing Spencer's hand and squeezing it. "Ow, make these contractions stop!"

"We-We can't, Sam," Carly said gently, stroking her best friend's back soothingly. "We wish we could. When Nora comes back in, though, maybe seeing you in labor will trigger the tiny part of her brain that isn't psycho and she'll call an ambulance herself and-"

"No!" Sam moaned. "No, Nora can't know I'm in labor!"
"Well Sam, it-it's kind of obvious to anybody who'd look in here-"

"I am not dealing with her through all of this!" Sam snapped. "Just-Just keep her distracted! And-And I'll do my best to act natural…"

The door in Nora's room opened up and she walked back in. Sam tried to even her breathing and sat up slowly on the couch, still gripping Spencer's hand tightly.

"Well the fruit pops melted, but don't worry iCarlys!" Nora said. "Roy just went out to buy us some other tasty treats. So…where were we?"
"Um, hey-hey Nora!" Gibby said, running over to the window.

"Yes, Gibby?" Nora said.

"Um…we-we never really ever got a chance to talk, just the two of us," Gibby said. "So-So instead of showing me a bunch of pictures, just-just tell me about yourself. What are your jam preferences?"

"You really want to just talk about me?" Nora asked. "Aw! That's so nice! You guys should all take notes here! This is a friend! Now about jam, hmmm…well, I've always been a fan of strawberry, by my therapist once introduced me to-"

"Okay, Gibby's got Nora distracted," Carly whispered to Sam. "Hopefully Freddie's almost done in there…"

"This hurts so much," Sam mumbled. "So, so, so, so much! Ah! Ah, that's another contraction! They're starting to get closer together!"

"Doesn't-Doesn't that mean the baby's almost here?" Carly asked frantically.

"I-I think," Sam moaned. "Freddie was the one who paid attention in all the birthing classes we went to! God…what if I have to have the baby in here? And-And Nora tries to take it or do something else to it? What if the poor kid is scarred for life being born so close to such a monster? What if its first words wind up being 'Nora' because of this? What if-"

"Sam, Sam, calm down," Spencer said. "We promise, Nora's not going to lay a finger on your baby. We won't let her."

"Yeah, if she tries anything, I'll whip out those moves I learned at that self-defense class I went to," Carly nodded.

"I just want to have this baby in the hospital," Sam said, trying to catch her breath. "I just want-Ow! Ow! That's another one!"

"Just squeeze Spencer's hand," Carly said as Sam's face contorted in pain.

"Ah! That hurts!" Spencer said.

"Just deal with it!" Carly snapped.

"Hey!" Nora said looking over at the three. "What's going on over there? What's with all the yelling?"

"Um, we-we're just…rehearsing a song we made up for you!" Carly said quickly. "Yeah, we-we realized you were right. We're clearly stuck in here, so we might as well be friends like you want."

"Well Carly, that's so nice to hear!" Nora grinned. "I'm glad to hear you've finally come around!"
"Yeah, it's real great," Gibby said quickly. "So Nora, get back to that story you were telling me about that bunion."
"Oh right," Nora nodded. "See, the doctors all thought it was a corn, but really-"

"Freddie needs to hurry up!" Sam said as quietly as she could. "Ah! I-I don't know how much longer I can hold up like this!"

"Just-Just try and relax," Carly said lamely as Spencer let her continue to clench his hand. "I'm sure any minute now-"

Suddenly she felt her previously dormant phone buzz frantically in her pocket as text messages and missed calls from the hours she had spent without service began to come through.

"Hey, my phone's getting stuff!" Carly said excitedly.

"Mine too!" Spencer said, feeling his own phone vibrate in his pocket. "That means Freddie must have done it! He got the phone service back!"

But Sam didn't seem to want to celebrate, as she felt yet another contraction course through her.

The bathroom door suddenly burst open and Freddie bolted out and over to Sam's side.

"You fix it?" Carly whispered frantically.

"Yes, I got the phone service back," Freddie whispered as he put his arm around his wife. "And I called the police and told them where we were. They're on their way now. And paramedics are coming too; they'll get you to the hospital, baby."

He looked over at Spencer. "How's she been doing? How many centimeters is she dilated?"

"I don't even know what that means!" Spencer said. "I've just been up here getting my hand broken!"

"Her contractions are pretty close together," Carly said. "I haven't been able to get an exact time, though, because she's been trying not to react to them so Nora doesn't find out what's happening. That's why we have Gibby over there distracting her."

"Well let's keep her in the dark about all this then," Freddie said. "If she finds out we called for help, she'll just bolt."

"Ah! Freddie!" Sam winced. "Freddie, it hurts! Why did you do this to me?"

"Baby, I-I know how much pain you're in right now-"

"You do not!" Sam hissed.

"-And I'm going to help you as much as I can until the paramedics get here," Freddie said, positioning himself at Sam's feet. "I watched all those birthing videos to prepare for this moment. Now, um, Carly! Try to find some blankets or sheets or towels around this place. Spencer, you stay there and keep doing what you're doing."

"Okay, but can I at least switch hands?" Spencer asked. "Because I've basically lost all feeling in this-"

"Ow!" Sam moaned, squeezing his hand. "Ow! That-That one hurt more than any of the others!" She craned her neck to look up at her husband. "Is-Is everything okay?"

"Um, I-I think so," Freddie nodded, realizing at once how oblivious he still felt for this, despite all his preparation. Watching a million videos and reading ever book out there still couldn't prepare you for the real thing, it seemed. "Um, I-I know you're supposed to be ten centimeters dilated before you start pushing, and-and it looks like you're almost there."

"Is she going to have to deliver here?" Spencer asked nervously.

"I-I hope not," Freddie said as Carly rushed back with a few towels she found in the bathroom. "We don't have anything to cut the umbilical cord with! Hopefully the paramedics will get here soon so we can get to the hospital or I-"

"Hey!" Nora said again, looking over at the four. It was now very difficult to pretend that nothing was going on, given all their positions. "What's happening there? It looks like you all are doing some weird voodoo ceremony!"

"It-It's still part of the song we made for you!" Carly said at once. "We-We're just spicing up some choreography right now! Wait until you see the finished product, Nora, you're going to love it!"

"I can't wait!" Nora grinned. "See? Once you all stop trying to resist your imprisonment, it really turns into a blast, doesn't it? Oh, Gibby, back to the yeast situations…"

"Man, she's gullible," Carly whispered, turning back to Sam. "Although we have been captured three times by her, so I guess I don't have too much more room to talk."

"Ah! Freddie! Freddie, I-I think its' getting really close!" Sam moaned. "I-I don't think I can hold back anymore. I-I have to push!"

"Okay, um, I-I-I-" Freddie stuttered, completely unsure of what to do next. When he imagined the birth of his first child, it was definitely nothing like this! And he knew that with nothing sanitary enough the cut the umbilical cord, they were going to be in trouble.

"Ah!" Sam winced, gripping Spencer's hand with all her might.

"Oh! Oh! I-I see a head!" Freddie cried, his eyes widening. "Oh this-this has got to be it! You-You have to push now, Sam."

"But-But the paramedics-"

"Sam, you-you can't wait for them anymore or you could hurt yourself and the baby," Freddie said anxiously. He turned to Carly. "Listen, look around this place and see if you can find anything we could use to cut the umbilical cord. If we don't, they could-"

But just then there was a loud pounding sound at the door that Roy had led the iCarly group in through so many hours previously.

"Hey! What was that?" Nora snapped, jumping to her feet in her other room.

The pounding noise sounded again, and a second later the door burst open as a swarm of officers raced in.

"Nora Dershlit, put your hands up!" the officer at the front said, glaring at her through the glass window she was still hidden behind. "You're under arrest for escaping from a state prison and kidnapping and unlawfully holding five individuals."

"But-But how did you-what the-Hey!" Nora yelled, flabbergasted. "Friends don't call the police on friends! When will you iCarlys learn that?"

Just then the door behind her burst open as well, and another swarm officers surrounded her in the second room, quickly apprehending her and cuffing her.

"What-What the-" Nora sputtered. "How-How did you-What the-"

"Next time you want to disable phone service, here's a hint," Freddie smirked triumphantly. "Don't leave the disabling device in the room."

"Let's go Dershlit," the officer next to her said. "We've got that no-good cousin of yours waiting for you in the back of our squad car too."
"Just you iCarlys wait!" Nora yelled as she was yanked out of the room. "I will make you all my friends! Even if it's the last thing I do!"

"Ow!" Sam cried, bringing all the attention in the room back to her. "Ow, Freddie! Freddie, this is it!"

"Where are the paramedics?" Freddie exclaimed, looking around. "They should be here by-"

Right on cue, two men carrying a large bag raced in.

"Where's the woman in labor?" the first asked, looking around.

"Um, there!" Carly exclaimed, nodding over to Sam. "The one on the floor screaming in pain with a baby coming out of her!"
"She's already crowing!" Freddie told them as they huddled over by Sam. "I don't think she can be moved."

"No, we're going to have to deliver the baby right here, right now," the second paramedic said, pulling several pieces of equipment out of his bag. "Now ma'am? You're almost done, I promise. And everything looks like it should. So when you feel that next contraction, you need to just push with everything you've got, okay?"
"Okay," Sam gasped as Freddie took her other hand in his. She didn't have to wait long. A moment later she felt the most intense contraction so far go up through her body, and she began to push with all her might.

"Come on, Sam…you're doing so good!" Freddie coaxed her on as him and Spencer allowed their hands to continue to be dismantled. "You can do this! You can-"

He was cut off, though, as Sam gave one, final push, dropping back against her husband, panting for breath. A second later the room was suddenly filled with a loud, raspy cry.

"It's a boy!" the paramedic announced, holding up a gooey, pink, wailing infant. "Congratulations."

"Oh my God…" Freddie whispered as he felt tears well in his eyes. "Sam…Sam, that's our son!"

"Is he okay?" Sam asked, still catching her breath. "Is he alright?"

"He's okay," the paramedic smiled. "Vitals seem strong. Of course he'll have to looked over once we get you to the hospital, but he seems just fine."

Sam let out a long relieved breath as she smiled up at Freddie. The paramedic gently placed the infant, all wrapped up in a clean blanket they had brought with them, into Sam's arms.

Sam felt an overwhelming sense of emotions rush over her as she looked down at her son. "Freddie…Freddie look at him!" she whispered. "Baby, he's perfect!"
"I know, he really is," Freddie agreed, wiping his eyes as he put an arm around Sam. "You did so good, Sam. I'm so proud of you."
"Whoa…look at that little guy," Spencer said softly, massaging his hand.

"He's adorable!" Carly gushed.

"Yeah…he looks like a tiny, pink meatloaf," Gibby smiled.

"Thanks, Gib," Sam smirked, rolling her eyes. She leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the newborn's head. "Hey sweetie…sorry your birth had to be so chaotic. But-But mommy and daddy are so happy you're here."

"Yeah, we love you so much," Freddie added, gently stroking his son's thin hair.

"You seriously deserve a medal or something, Sam," Carly said. "I don't know how many women out there could successfully give birth while being imprisoned by a maniac."

"Well she's amazing," Freddie chuckled, kissing Sam again.

"Alright everybody, I hate to break all this up, but we need to get all of you out of here," one of the officers spoke. "Ma'am, you and your husband and son will ride over to the hospital in the ambulance out front. The rest of you will need to come with me down to the station to go over exactly what happened here."

"Okay," Carly nodded. She looked over at Sam and Freddie. "We'll be at the hospital to see you guys as soon as we can."

"Alright," Freddie said, not taking his eyes off his son.

As the others followed the police officer out of the room, he kissed Sam's temple. "I don't know how you did it…you-you never stop surprising me."

"Hey, you kind of saved the day, you know," Sam smiled. "Fixing the phone service so quickly…"

"Yeah, but I didn't give birth to the most perfect son in the whole world," Freddie chuckled.

"True," Sam shrugged. She kissed the child again. "Well….we'll have a real interesting story to tell him when he's older."
"Oh yeah," Freddie nodded. "That's for sure."

"-And according the officer that took us in, with the extra time she'll get for breaking out of jail and kidnapping us, Nora's going to be in a maximum security facility for at least another forty years," Carly told Sam and Freddie several hours later as the gang sat gathered in Sam's hospital room. "And if she ever does get out, she has to spend the rest of her life in a psychiatric facility."

"Good," Freddie said, looking up from the small couch by Sam's bed, where he was sitting next to Spencer, who was holding the baby. "Hopefully we've seen the last of Nora this time."

"You don't think she'd be able to escape again, do you?" Spencer asked.

"Who knows…with Nora, anything's possible," Carly sighed.

"Hey, let's not bring the mood down on my son's birthday," Sam said, holding out her arms for the child.

"You're right," Carly chuckled as Spencer handed her back her son. "This is a happy occasion. Let's not ruin it talking about her."

"So what's the kid's name?" Gibby asked.

"Jason Steven Benson," Freddie smiled.

"That's precious," Carly said. "I can't wait to start spoiling him with gifts."

"Go nuts, kid," Sam grinned.

"So the doctors said he's really okay?" Spencer asked.

"Yeah, he's perfectly healthy," Sam nodded. "Thank God…If anything had happened to him I would've destroyed Nora."

"We all would've," Carly said.

"Definitely," Spencer nodded.

"Hey…I just thought of something," Gibby said.

"What?" Freddie frowned.

"What happened to that chicken of Nora's?" he asked. "What was his name…Maurice?"

"Well…dude, the last time we saw that chicken was like, eight years ago," Spencer said.

"So?"

"So…I-I don't think chickens live that long," Carly said.

"They-They don't?" Gibby gasped.

"No, I think they only have about four, five years in them," Sam nodded.

"Oh," Gibby said shakily.

"Are-Are you okay?" Freddie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I-I just need a minute," Gibby sniffed. "I-I really bonded with that chicken last time I saw him."

The four exchanged glances as Gibby excused himself and stepped out of the room.

"Well, you better get used to this weirdness," Freddie smiled down at the sleeping child in his wife's arms. "Because you were born into a whole family of craziness."