Chapter 12
"Hello, Tony." Gibbs said into the phone. He had heard Tony's voice and had hesitated before he spoke. He had almost wanted Tony to hang up on his and put him out of his misery.
For the first time in his life, Leroy Jethro Gibbs didn't know what he could or would say. But, he knew that this call needed to be made, probably before now. These past two months had changed Gibbs' life dramatically. It had changed lots of people's lives. He was now living in South Florida on his boat and loving it. But, he missed a big part of his life. He missed Tony. He missed his job, despite what had happened in the end, he missed being an agent.
Tony sighed. "Agent Gibbs." He replied coolly. He had expected Gibbs to call. But, he had not thought about what he would say when the time came. He had honestly thought HE would have to be the one to reach out, if it happened at all. Tony was sure Gibbs' pride would not allow him to reach out, to admit he was wrong. And he still may not be admitting wrong Tony realized as he answered back.
"I just…I wanted…." Gibbs stumbled along.
"You…with nothing to say. Wow!" Tony stated. "I saw the video, Gibbs. You had plenty to say a couple of months ago."
Gibbs swallowed. He suppressed the urge to yell. That would not help anything now. "I was out of line."
"Ya think?" Tony snapped back. Then he cringed, realizing he had used a phrase Gibbs said fairly often.
Gibbs bit his tongue again. He deserved this. He needed to remember that. He was no longer Tony's boss. "I just wanted to apologize for…for how...what happened."
"Okay." Tony replied, waiting.
Gibbs sighed. "I don't say the words…."
Tony was getting irritated. He had better things to do than to try to have a long-distance conversation with a Functional Mute.
"That was and is the problem, Agent Gibbs. You don't talk."
"I'm trying here, Tony." Gibbs said, letting his irritation show.
"Try harder!" Tony paused. "And, it's DiNozzo to you!" He could hear Gibbs irritation coming through.
Gibbs swallowed and took a moment to try to start again. It hurt more then he thought it would to have Tony speak to him like he was. Gibbs had hoped to maybe get back some sort of relationship. But, if things were this bad, maybe he should just hang up and forget it.
Gibbs cleared his throat to start again. "I am sorry for…for how I treated you when Kate died. I'm sorry I didn't allow you to grieve."
Tony was sitting, opened mouthed' as Gibbs continued. He finally found his voice. "I still miss her."
"I know. I also know that Ziva came along too quickly for all of us." Gibbs admitted. "I wasn't myself, or Ziva wouldn't have taken over Kate's desk so fast, or without me checking her out myself. Kate was like a sister to you. But, besides that, we needed time, and we didn't get it."
Tony didn't' say anything.
"I'm sorry for not stepping in all the times I should have when Ziva overstepped her bounds."
Tony made a noise on the other end.
"I had assumed you two were handing things." Gibbs explained. "I thought she was angry all the time because you were setting her straight. So, I didn't need to interfere."
"She never listened to me. She was the most pig-headed woman…."
Gibbs nodded, though Tony could not see him. "I'm sorry she was put onto the team without your consent. I should have challenged Jenny's decision. But, I didn't I trusted Jenny. I had no idea she had even been in the running for director. I was beyond shocked to see her in that position."
Tony was shocked. He had never heard Gibbs apologize like this. He was not sure what to make of it.
Gibbs had poured his heart out. It was the only way he knew to let Tony know how sincere he was.
Tony was still speechless. He had not expected anything like this from his former boss.
"Gibbs, I..." Tony stammered.
"I broke my most important rule, Tony. I wasted good, and I was too blind to realize it."
Tony was glad Gibbs had finally realized it. But, in a lot of ways, it was too late.
"I just...I don't know what to say."
Tony heard chuckling on the other end of the line. "That is my first time, since I met you, you didn't have a ready comeback."
Gibbs was right. Tony had not felt the need to be 'at the ready' anymore. These people treated him with respect. No jabs about his 'gym teacher education' or his beat-cop beginnings. Here he was NCIS Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo, Team Leader, Honolulu, Hawaii Field Office.
"What I did was wrong." Gibbs conceded. "My reaction to your decision to leave was just..."
"Extreme. Childish. Appalling...need I say more?"
Gibbs shook his head, even though Tony couldn't see him. "No, those were quite...accurate."
There were a few moments of silence between them.
"I'm not sure what you want from me, Gibbs."
Gibbs sighed. "I'm not sure either. I wished you would have talked to me first." He paused. "And, before you start, I know that things wouldn't have gone well. But, I was blindsided."
"I was done, Gibbs." Tony answered. "It was gradual. After Jenny, was when it started. You resented that Shepard offered me my own team. You resented the fact I had done so well at your job."
"No, Tony I didn't resent you. I was not sure Jenny would take me back." Gibbs admitted. "I was not 100% yet."
"Yeah, well, she took you back and you went back to being the lead. I went back to being the comic relief." Tony stated. "Why would I have a problem with that? You treat me like shit, and they followed your lead."
"You didn't speak up, you didn't demand..."
"I couldn't DEMAND you. And they wouldn't listen." Tony retorted. "Then, of course, the frog op came to light and everybody got their noses bent out of joint because they were not in on it." He paused. "I wasn't even 'in on it.' By the time I found out what Jenny was really up to, it was way too late for me to get out."
"I was angry at Jenny. She took advantage of the situation. She took advantage of us both. Had I been here, that op would have never happened. I knew of her obsession with her father's death. I would have connected the dots. She knew that." Gibbs explained. "She knew you didn't know anything. She used that. It was all on her."
"Then, when she died..."
"Her death was not your fault. You were following orders." Gibbs interjected.
"We didn't talk about it. You never said anything." Tony replied. "I thought you were blaming me."
"I know you were. I was angry. She wasn't there to yell at." Gibbs paused and sighed. "...not a good reason, but there it is."
"What...what am I supposed to do with that?"
"Forgive me so that we can get past this." Gibbs offered.
"I need time."
"Understood." Gibbs replied.
"I deserved to be treated a hell of a lot better than I was."
"Also understood."
"You say it, Gibbs." Tony replied. "I'm just not sure you mean it."
TBC
