Named
"Hey, kiddo," Spencer said as he let himself into his apartment, carrying a bag of groceries. "What's up?"
"Nothing, just prepping for iCarly tonight," Carly said, looking up from her laptop. "Did you buy anything for dinner or should I plan on ordering in?"
"Okay, um, see, I was going to buy us some chicken for dinner," Spencer explained. "But then I saw this amazing new brand of pudding! Look!"
He pulled several containers of pudding out of his bag. "It's rainbow colored!"
"So we're supposed to eat colorful pudding for dinner?" Carly smirked, amused.
"I don't see why not."
"Well, looks like it's Chinese food again," Carly sighed. "You cool with the usual egg rolls and chicken fried rice?"
"Sure, just don't let Sam eat all the egg rolls like last time," Spencer said. "Hey…where is Sam? Oh, probably making out with Freddie, right? You know, I'm glad those two finally got together but they really need to learn to cool it with the PDA! A couple days ago I walked in on-"
"Wait…did you not hear?" Carly frowned.
"Hear what?"
"Sam and Freddie broke up," Carly told him.
"What?' Spencer gasped. "No! When? How? Give me the deets!"
"I don't have the deets!" Carly said. "All I know was from the text Sam sent me this morning. She just sent me 'Hey, FYI, the nub and I broke up last night'. I've been texting her and calling her all day but I can't get anything else out! And I tried going over to Freddie's but he's being just as unresponsive!"
"But they were so good together," Spencer moaned.
"I know," Carly agreed. "I mean, yeah, they were fighting, but they were also really sweet with each other and made the other happier than I've ever seen."
"Yeah, there were way better than Jenna and I were," Spencer said.
"Oh, right, how are you doing without her?" Carly asked. "You still feeling bummed?"
"No, I realized our relationship was getting kind of creepy," Spencer said. "Sure, she was super hot. Well, ridiculously hot, really, but your date should never try to cut your steak into tiny pieces or hide the scissors from you. But Sam and Freddie never had those problems! So why'd they break up?"
"Well maybe tonight after iCarly I can get some answers out of them," Carly sighed. "I just hope they'll be okay to be in the same room together. Oh man…what if it was a really bad break-up? What if they go back to not being able to stand being in the same room with each other? What if-"
Just then the front door opened and Sam walked in.
"Hey," she smiled, tossing her jacket onto the floor by the coat rack. "Oh sweet! Is that rainbow pudding?"
"Sam, I've been calling you all day!" Carly exclaimed. "You can't just text me that you and Freddie broke up and then give me no more explanation!"
"What's there to explain?" Sam shrugged. "We're not together anymore. It's pretty simple."
"Well what happened? Are-Are you okay?" Carly asked gently. "Do we need to have a girl's night or something?"
"God no," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "Look, it-it's really not a big deal, okay? It was a mutual thing. Well, clearly I did more of the breaking up than he did. But we just decided that we were too different. So while we were taking the elevator down we decided it was best to just quit while we were ahead."
"But-But why?" Carly frowned.
"Oh come on, you saw how much we were fighting," Sam chuckled.
"Yeah, but I also saw how close you were too," Carly pointed out. "I know you guys really cared about each other. Are you sure you're alright? I mean have you talked to Freddie since the break-up?"
"Um, not really," Sam said.
"So you're not talking?" Carly moaned. "So is this going to be some big, awkward thing now where the three of us can't even be-"
"What? No, Carls, it's not like that," Sam said quickly. "I told you, it was mutual. Freddie and I are just going to go back to how things were before this whole mistake. It will be easy!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah," Sam nodded. "We were together for a month. It's not like we're breaking up after three years or anything."
"Well I-"
She was cut off, though, as the apartment door opened again and Freddie himself walked in.
"Here, he can tell you himself!" Sam said, turning to Freddie. "Hey, nub, you and I are totally fine with the whole break-up thing, right?"
"Huh? Oh yeah, totally," Freddie said, almost reflexively.
"See?" Sam said, smiling triumphantly at Carly. "Carly here thinks we're going to be uncomfortable."
"Uncomfortable?" Freddie scoffed. "What's there to be uncomfortable about?"
"Well…you-you guys are really okay?" Carly asked hesitantly. "You're fine to just start hanging around each other and to do iCarly the day after you guys break up?"
"Um, yes," Sam said.
"Carly, really, we're fine," Freddie said. "It wasn't some big, dramatic thing. We just realized I'm too normal for her and she's to abnormal for me."
"So you guys just broke up last night and were perfectly fine?" Carly frowned. "You just left that elevator and went on your happy separate ways?"
"Well, um," Freddie said, nervously glancing at Sam. "We did kind of-"
"Yeah, that's what happened," Sam said firmly, quickly shooting him a warning glare.
"Oh," Carly said. "Well…okay then. I guess we should just go up and get ready for the show."
"Yeah, let's do it," Sam nodded.
"Yeah, I'm ready for a little iCarly," Freddie grinned. "I'll go start setting up everything."
"And I'll check the fridge for snacks," Sam said, heading into the kitchen.
As Sam and Freddie left the living room, Spencer turned to his little sister. "You get the feeling that they're not as okay as they say?"
"Duh," Carly whispered back.
….
Once Freddie reached the iCarly studio, he felt the fake smile that he had plastered onto his face finally falter. Despite anything he said downstairs, he was most definitely not up for doing iCarly tonight, or anything that required him to be so close to Sam.
All day he had been sulking around, feeling horrible, but now that he had to see Sam and know that he could no longer step over to her and kiss her or wrap his arms around her or hold her hand…it just made everything so much worse.
But he had to do it. He had to get through the show at least without making it seem like he was barely holding himself together. He had seen Sam down there! He couldn't stand there like some pathetic nub moping over their relationship while she was clearly fine.
Just make it through tonight, Freddie told himself. As soon as the show is over you can go back home, crawl back into bed, and stare at old pictures of you and Sam.
"Hey."
Freddie spun around and saw Sam standing at the entrance of the studio.
"Hey," Freddie said quickly, trying to pull on the same false expression he had had on downstairs. "So I was just finishing putting tonight's sound effects on your remote. The first button is going to be for Random Dancing, then the next two will be for-"
"Um, listen, about-about what happened downstairs," Sam cut him off, clearing her throat awkwardly.
"About what?"
Sam took a deep breath. "Look…I-I know neither of us are as comfortable as we said we were with-with what happened yesterday."
Freddie blinked. Had Sam really been able to see through him that quickly? Well, of course she had; it was Sam.
"Wait," Freddie frowned. "You mean…you're not…you-you also feel-"
"Suckish?" Sam finished for him.
"Er, yeah," Freddie nodded.
"Well, I mean…it has been less than twenty-four hours," Sam shrugged, her face red. "And-And I guess no matter how big a nub the person was, you're bound to feel at least a little weird about a break up right after."
Freddie gave a small chuckle. "Yeah…yeah, you-you do have a point. I mean…yeah, it was only a month but-but that's still the longest relationship I've ever been in."
"Same here," Sam nodded.
The two were silent for a minute.
"But…we-we did the right thing," Freddie finally spoke up. "Right?"
"Oh totally," Sam said at once. "If-If we had stayed together we would've just kept fighting."
"We would've killed each other eventually," Freddie nodded. "It was inevitable. Even-Even if there were some good times thrown in there."
"Uh-huh," Sam sighed. "It-It had to happen. But, um, listen, I-I just think we really need to, you know, suck it up for iCarly tonight and keep up what we told Carly down there. Because you know if she thinks she needs to help us feel better about the break-up she's gonna get all involved and she's gonna do her Carly thing where she doesn't let it go until-"
"-Until she's just made everything worse," Freddie said knowingly.
"Exactly," Sam sighed. "I know she means well but I'd really rather her just stay out of this."
"Me too," Freddie replied. "So…okay, I guess it won't be that hard to just act natural. And I'm sure after a few days we won't even have to act."
"Yeah, I bet we'll just-"
"Okay, so is everything all set and ready to start filming?" Carly asked, coming into the studio.
"Huh? Oh, yeah," Freddie said quickly. "Yeah…we're live in four minutes."
"Good," Carly said. "Oh, um, I was just wondering, well, do-do you know what you guys are going to tell the fans?"
"About what?" Sam frowned.
"Well, a lot of them were really big fans of your relationship," Carly explained. "You know, the Seddiers. So are you two going to make a little announcement or something at the start of the show or-"
"No!" the two exclaimed simultaneously. They were both thinking the same thing: that it was one thing to simply pretend they were fine; it was another thing entirely to get unpin front of a camera and a million viewers and actually announce the charade with a straight face.
"Well, Carly I'm sure people won't care about our personal lives," Freddie said quickly as Carly gave them both strange looks. "I'm sure they won't even notice anything different. I mean it's not like we were super public about our relationship on iCarly."
"You guys were constantly flirting," Carly pointed out. "You would always focus the camera in on Sam, you-"
"Well they'll figure it out on their own!" Sam snapped. "It's not a big deal. We're not making announcement. Let's just do the show like we had planned."
"Are you sure-"
"We're live in twenty seconds," Freddie said, cutting her off as he tossed Sam her remote.
Giving a sigh of defeat, Carly stepped out in front of the camera with Sam.
"Alright, in five, four, three, two-"
"Hello people of the Internet!" Carly grinned. "This is iCarly!"
"The only web show with a money back guarantee if you don't snort milk out of your nose from laughing!" Sam beamed.
"We don't have any money to give them back," Carly said.
"Oh…Oh well!" Sam said happily.
"So first on iCarly we're going to show you a new skit we came up with about a hobo named Bill and a jar of pickles containing a genie that gives life advice!" Carly said. "The role of hobo will be played by Sam," Carly said. "And Freddie's going to play the genie!"
Dang it! Freddie thought miserably as Carly hurried over to take his camera from him. He had forgotten all about the skit he was supposed to be doing with Sam, and judging by the expression on Sam's face, he could tell she forgot as well.
"Um, okay," Freddie said, handing off the camera to Carly as he picked up the props he'd need for the bit.
The two had been rehearsing the skit all week. He remembered Carly would get so frustrated with them for always finding some way to rearrange their lines to turn it into a cue for them to kiss each other.
At least she wouldn't have to worry about that now.
Freddie stepped over next to Sam, who was staring intently down at the ground.
"Let's just get this over with," Freddie whispered to her. "It-It won't be that bad."
Sam nodded, clearing her throat as she got ready to begin.
"Well, after a long, long day of doing hobo activities, I think I need to find a nice place to pop my back warts!" Sam said, sitting down at the prop table. "Here looks like the perfect spot! Why it even has a half-eaten jar of pickles! Perfect for my hobo appetite!"
She picked up the jar of pickles. "But wait!" she exclaimed. "This jar seems to be shaking…I don't think this is a normal jar of pickles…"
"That's right!" Freddie said, coming into the scene. "It's a magical jar! One that-One that…"
The line seemed to evade him as he realized he was so close to Sam that he could smell her cherry blossom shampoo. He remembered smelling it in her hair last night when they had-
"That gives useful life advice!" Carly whispered to him from behind the camera.
"Right!" Freddie said, trying to gloss over the incident. "I am the genie of this pickle jar and I give life advice!"
"What about wishes?" Sam asked.
"Well now that's just crazy," Freddie scoffed, all the while wishing he had done something about the lighting in the studio. The lights just seemed to bounce radiantly from Sam's golden curls….
He suddenly felt a pang of sadness thinking about all the times he'd sit cuddled up with her, brushing her hair as he would plant tiny kisses on her ears and neck, which would make her giggle in the cutest way…a way he'd never get to hear again.
"Well I guess I'll take the life advice then," Sam said, still in character. "Not that I need it. I'm the most successful hobo on this side of town!"
"Well then just give me the jar of pickles to help call my powers out, and I will give you advice that would make Dr. Phyllis resign in shame!"
Sam picked up the jar of pickles and held it out to him. But as Freddie took the jar, his hands brushed against hers, and Sam, startled by the familiar, yet now forbidden, touch, quickly retracted her arms, causing the jar to drop to the floor and shatter into a million pieces.
"Chiz!" Sam cursed as her and Freddie jumped out of the way of the spreading pickle juice puddle.
"Um, why-why don't we take a quick break?" Carly said, turning the camera onto herself. "So until we get everything fixed over here, please enjoy this prerecorded video of Gibby trying to get out of a Chinese Finger Trap."
She set down the camera and stepped over to Sam and Freddie, who were both bright red in the face.
"Alright, I don't care what you guys say, you're clearly not-"
"We know!" Freddie said loudly, causing Carly to step back in surprise. "We know we're not okay, Carly! We get it! You were right! We tried to pretend that we could be fine around each other right after what happened, but you know what? It's hard! It sucks! It's the worst!"
"Well then let's-let's just postpone the show!" Carly said. "We don't have to do this if you guys aren't ready."
"No, that-that's stupid," Sam sighed, stepping over to the tech cart. "We can't just hide out because Freddie and I are uncomfortable. Besides…I think we screwed up enough to make everybody realize something up between us. Yup…check out these comments."
Carly and Freddie joined her at the cart.
"What's with Sam and Freddie?" Carly read from the screen. "Last week they couldn't go two seconds without flirting, now they're acting super bizarre."
"Sam and Freddie have some obvious tension between them," Freddie read. "I hope this isn't the end of Seddie."
"There's a million comments just like that," Sam sighed. "And more coming in."
"I don't think they're just gonna ignore this," Freddie mumbled. He looked at Sam. "If we don't tell them what happened they're just going to keep blowing up our comment boards."
Sam looked down at her feet, clearly not looking forward to doing any such thing.
"I'll do it alone if you want," Freddie told her softly. "You don't have to."
"No, I-I'll do it with you," Sam said heavily.
"You guys sure about this?" Carly asked her best friends.
Sam nodded. "Who knows…maybe getting it out in the open will actually help."
So the two stepped back out in front of the camera, and Carly brought the show back on the air.
"Um…hi," Sam said, looking into the camera. "So…you-you all apparently picked up on-on some awkwardness during that last skit."
"Yeah, um, and-and there is a reason for that," Freddie sighed. He took a deep breath. "Last night Sam and I broke up, and-and we just haven't had time to adjust to this big change. That's why things are kind of weird right now."
"Yeah," Sam nodded. "But-But don't worry. After today, it's not going to effect iCarly or anything."
"And Sam and I are still friends," Freddie said. "And the break up was mut-I mean, Sam-Sam totally dumped my nerdy butt."
Sam looked up at him, giving him a small smile. "Nah," she said. "It was mutual. My butt was dumped just as much as his was."
Freddie gave a small chuckle. "Thanks."
"So…sorry for the crummy skit," Sam continued. "We'll try it again and-"
"We'll try it again next week," Carly said, turning the camera back to her. "Right now, we're going to end the show a little early. Not because Sam and Freddie can't handle themselves, but because I want them to have time to clear their heads. So we'll see you all again next week."
She set the camera back down and pressed a few keys on Freddie's keyboard, turning off the web cast.
"So…listen, I know you guys probably want to be left alone, so-so I'm not going to try and pry into what happened or bug your for details," Carly said to Sam and Freddie.
"You're not?" Sam said, shocked.
"No," Carly smiled. "You guys can tell me what you want when you're ready. Why don't you guys just take the rest of the day to relax and-and work through this in the ways you want."
"Wow, um, thanks," Freddie said. "We really appreciate that."
"Just remember…I'm here if you need me," Carly said.
"We know," Sam nodded.
The two turned and headed downstairs and out of the Shay's apartment. Once they stepped out into the hallway, Sam looked up at her Freddie. "Well…at least Carly's being cool about this. I was really worried she'd try and get every detail about what happened out of us or send us to a therapist to talk about feelings or something."
"She surprised me too," Freddie nodded. He leaned against his closed door.
"I really didn't think it'd be this hard," Sam whispered.
"Break-ups aren't generally fun," Freddie pointed out.
"Yeah, but-but when you broke up with Carly, you guys were totally fine the next day," Sam said. "And when I broke up with Pete, I had no problem seeing him around school."
"I know," Freddie nodded. "But maybe…maybe we were okay after those break-ups because those relationships didn't-didn't mean as much to us."
"You think?" Sam said softly.
"Well I told you, I love you," Freddie said. "And-And I guess the more you love someone, the more it hurts when-when the relationship ends and they leave you. I mean…it's definitely worth it, but-but it's just rough for awhile."
Sam nodded. Then she slowly stepped over hand hugged him.
"Well, just remember," Sam told him as he returned her embrace. "I didn't leave you. I'm always here."
Freddie nodded. "Right back at you."
