Just like he said Elliot wasn't home that night, when we went to my appointment, until late. I think he got home around eight and went straight to bed. I wasn't sure because I was tired. On Wednesday afternoon I got a call from the police about some footage that was recover by the cameras. I knew I wasn't going to take Evan, even though it would have been perfectly safe. So I called Mia to take him for a while tomorrow. And I would tell Elliot today. The immature part of me was thinking that I should just pretend to forget but I also knew that that would only add to our fight that in my opinion was going on for too long. I know he felt the same way but regardless we were both being awkward around each other. I mean a one arm hug really?

After the appointment Elliot has been trying harder to help me with Evan. I know I have to talk to him about not working soon but I don't know what to say so I've been putting it off. But I'll talk to him soon.

After finishing Isabelle's homework nod dinner Elliot arrives at five o'clock. He used to pick up Isabelle but now I do it. Ever since that time I freaked out on him about his muddy shoes he leaves them in the garage. So he walks in barefoot.

"Hey Isabelle." He says kissing her head.

"Daddy I missed you!" She's about to jump in his arms until she sees him shirt is soaked. It's been raining a lot and his new site isn't waterproof. "Guess what I'm gonna eat. I'm eating macaroni. You want some?" She says.

"Sure did you make enough for me. Because I eat a lot."

"Yes we did." He gets down to kiss Evan who's on his back on the floor. "Are you going to kiss mommy?" She asks him before he gets upstairs.

That's my girl always pushing Elliot and I to work things through even when we don't want to. Even though right now I want to work it out. Hell a week ago I wanted to work it out.

"I don't think your mom wants to kiss me baby." I look away pretending I'm not hearing their conversation even though it hurts me.

"Probably not you're smelly."

"Well that's what happens when we mess up and mix up the sewer pipe with something else."

"Oh. Why did you mess up?"

"Because people weren't paying attention to the blueprints." She nods as if though she understands what's going on.

"Did you yell at them. My teacher yells when Amy doesn't pay attention." She says smiling.

"Why doesn't Amy pay attention?" She bites her upper lip.

"I don't know. Maybe because I have to tell her stuff." I suppress my chuckle Elliot doesn't though.

"Well maybe you shouldn't talk in class and she won't get in trouble." He says in his fake stern voice.

"Maybe." She says casually.

"I'm gonna shower okay? You can tell me about your day when I come back. Lina?" He says looking in the kitchen.

"Yea?" I say looking at him.

"I'm gonna take a shower. I'll be down soon." I mumble an okay and he sighs. I'm so sick of this. Every time I get an opportunity to talk I blow it off. It's not on purpose but I just don't know how to start. I feel my eyes start to water but manage to pull it together by the time he comes down again.

"Isabelle, come help set the table please." He says to her.

"Ugh I don't want to." She says not getting up.

"I don't care if you don't want to, you have to help."

"But I don't want to." She whines again.

"Isabelle if you don't do it you're not watching tv today." He says sternly.

"Ugh fine." She says then proceeds to set the table stomping back and forth between the kitchen and the dining room. I don't hear Elliot for a few minutes so I assume he went to get the paper work from his car. He doesn't like to carry it with him because he always comes in muddy or wet. I watch Isabelle be upset as I take the plates to the rightful place on the table.

"Isabelle I need you to take George some water." I say when she's done.

"Why me?" She asks whining again.

"Because it's your dog and I'm busy." I tell her with out looking at her.

"Why doesn't Evan do it?" I almost chuckle but I know that won't help my parenting.

"Because Evan is a baby, he's too small. And I'm tell you to do it. So can you just go?" I watch her cross her arms.

"No." She says confidently.

"No?" She shakes her head. "I can go tell you're dad you aren't listening."

"Daddy says I don't have to do it. I asked him." I stop what I'm doing and look at her.

"Well I'm telling you that you have five seconds to go give the dog water. If you don't go you aren't going to stay with your grandmother and father on Friday is that what you want?" I say in a calm voice even though I'm getting pissed. "One, two, three..." She runs off to the laundry room where George is.

She comes back a short while later looking upset. As much as I hate seeing her upset I know that she has to listen to me. I can't have her thinking that it's okay to not listen to us.

"Can you please wash your hands before you eat?" I ask calmly. I know she let's George lick her hand when she gives him treats and it's gross but she loves that dog. We all do.

I see Elliot walk in with some flowers. He sets them next to me and leans on the counter. "What's this?" I say eyeing the flowers.

"For you?"

"What for?" I say quietly.

"It's for you." He says again.

"No I get that but why? What did I do to deserve this?"

"Because." He removes an imaginary price of lint off my shirt. "You are an incredible mother and wife. And I want to tell you that I appreciate everything you do for us." I smile a little at him.

"It's my job as the woman of this family to do those things that I do." He steps closer placing his hand on my cheek, moving it to my neck the running his thumb over my skin. I've missed his touch. His skin is a bit rougher than other man but that's because I know he has to do manual labor when his guys are slacking.

"Maybe but you do more than most. I mean you wake up to make me breakfast in the mornings and take the baby all day. Then Isabelle, you take her to school and go to any parent meetings. Walk the dog and still manage to keep the house spotless. That's a lot. And you can be all humble and shit but I really do appreciate everything. I don't say thank you enough but just know I do." He says looking straight at my eyes.

"Thank you Elliot." I say shyly because what else can I say.

"Thank you." I put the flowers in a vase then turn to face him again. I step toward him and wrap my arms around his waist. I've missed his scent. This is as intimate as we have gotten the last few days and I've missed him. His arms go around me and hold me tightly. I groan when I hear Evan begin to whimper in this seat. He just loves to cry right as I'm about to eat. I unstrap him while Elliot get me his bib.

"Are you going to breastfeed him?" He asks playing with Evan's toes.

"No I have a bottle in the fridge. I'm just going to warm it up and give it to him. I haven't eaten so I was just gonna leave him to it." He recently discovered how to hold the bottle. Every once in a while he drops it but once I set it for him he goes right back to sucking.

"Well I'll warm it up for you." He sets in in the microwave for thirty seconds so it's not too warm. "Why don't I take him while we eat." He suggests.

"I can just set him down. He can hold it while we eat." I tell him.

"I miss my buddy though. I got it Lina. You just eat. You deserve to at least eat." I'm surprised by his request. Then again I do take care of Evan before he even has a chance to help. I know if I asked him to, Elliot would go out of his way to help me but I feel like I can do it on my own.

"Ok. Go with daddy Evan. He missed you." I say kissing my baby as I hand him off. Elliot's arms are extended and as I let go Evan falls and I about have a heart attack. Elliot had a him but pretended by lowering him a few inches with the illusion that I dropped him. "Elliot! That's not funny." I say to him as he controls his laughter.

"I'm sorry I won't do that again. I wouldn't drop him baby I got him. You've been so serious the last few days I thought that would lighten you up." He says smiling at me. I roll my eyes and give him the bottle.

"You're a jerk." I say hitting his back with the drying towel. He still chuckles when we get in the dining room and Isabelle is sitting waiting for us. She's not too happy but still eats all her food. She waits patiently for me to finish before taking her plate to the sink. I decide just to let her cool off and not worry too much. Elliot carries our boy feeding him during dinner and burps him. I quickly take a picture of them. They look so handsome. He's struggling trying to eat himself and feed him.

"Thanks for dinner. I'm gonna take him." We stand up, I go to the kitchen and Elliot follows. As I'm loading the dishwasher I feel them stare at at me. Once I'm finish I notice Elliot still with Evan's head resting on his shoulder. I love my boys. "Do I put him in his crib?"

"Yes but make sure you keep the monitor on." I tell him rubbing the baby's back. He nods his head and waits a minute before walking away. Another opportunity where I chicken out. I sit to watch tv when I think of how this really has gone on for long enough. I decide to call him. The phone rings five time before he answers.

"Yes?" He says into the phone.

"Hey." I start.

"Hi. How are you?" He asks.

"I'm fine. What are you doing?" I ask him.

"Nothing. I'm just in my office with Evan." He says quietly.

"Oh are you busy?"

"No did you need something?"

"Do you want to watch some tv?" I ask.

"Um sure. Let me get Evan and we'll be there soon."

"Ok. I'll just, you know wait I guess." I say slowly.

"Then I'll just you know, be right there." He says mocking me.

"Can you bring down a blanket please."

"Yup." I hang up and mental smack my forehead. Could I be anymore awkward. Yes I can. I find that I don't know how to sit or which couch to sit on. Instead I stand up and take the blanket from him. He sets Evan on his chair then sits on the couch groaning when he sees that I'm watching a reality show. I don't really care what to watch I just wanted to talk to him. And if he made the effort to come downstairs then I have to make an effort to talk with him.

"This is what we're watching?" He asks pointing at the tv.

"It's a good show. Don't worry I'll fill you in on what's been going on during the season. We're only like three weeks in. At least it's a bunch of women not men." I say trying to defend my show.

He lays on the couch and in a moment of braveness I move so that I'm between him and the back of the couch. I rest my head on his chest as he starts to run his hand up and down my back. I tell him about how it's a dating reality show and he just mumbles through it for a few minutes until I'm done talking. I know he hates this show but he puts up with it for me. I don't know how long we lay there not saying anything but I know we should. We sit up when Isabelle comes to say goodnight and I decide that now is the time to talk. He takes her upstairs to tuck her in as I wait for him to come back. When he does I feel myself get tired.

"I can't do this anymore Elliot." He looks at me shocked. "The fighting and not talking. I don't want to." I say exasperated.

"Lina please." He says looking upset. Maybe that wasn't the best choice of words.

"I'm mean. When is the last time we had a conversation a week ago? I don't want us to be like that. I'm sorry I didn't call you last time. I didn't even know what I was going to talk to her for. And I didn't take him. I dropped him off at Mia's while I talked to Jessica." I realized that I was forgetting why we were fighting in the first place and it all seemed so useless and stupid now.

"Lina why didn't you tell me." He asks sitting on the other side of the couch.

"I tried but you didn't give me the chance. Then I didn't want to because I was mad. You said I didn't care about his safety. How could you say that? He's my son, of course I care. Then you started basically saying I wasn't a good mother to him and Isabelle and maybe I'm not, but for you to do that just... You said all these things to me and I didn't want to talk." I have to stop because of the lump in my throat. "He's my son too. You kept saying how you care about your son but they're suppose to be our kids. Not just yours. And not just mine. I understand that you were upset, I'm sorry if what I did wasn't something you liked but I had to."

"I'm sorry Lina I didn't know. And I never meant those things. You a wonderful mother. You're right though, they are our kids. I just need to know that I get a say in raising Evan and Isabelle." I cut him off before he says more.

"You do have a say. Your opinion matters the most to me. And we are suppose to be doing this together and I know you've been busy making up for the time you had to take off but I've... It feels like I've been doing this alone. I don't like that. I want to do it with you."

"I didn't know you felt that way. I can... I'll do more. I just don't know what to do. When I try to help you just push me away."

"I know. That's my fault but I did it because I wanted to prove to you that I can take care of him." I admit.

"I know you can. Trust me I see you do it everyday." He says.

"I can't though. I need your help. I want us to do it together." I say wiping a tear from my eyes.

"We will." He sits close to me and kisses my head. "We'll figure it out. We can find a way. We have to." I nod my head looking at him. He pushes a strand of hair away from my face. "Lina what's going on with you? Don't say nothing I know somethings wrong I can see it. You've been depressed and you haven't been your usual self. Don't say nothing if any thing is wrong tell me so I can help. I can try." I take a deep breath before talking. I know if I don't tell him now I never will.

"I feel like everything has changed. I know it's suppose to with the baby but I feel different. Like I don't know..." I stop and lean back on the couch closing my eyes.

"Tell me. I can't help if you don't talk to me." He says quietly.

"We always talked about having a lot of babies and a big family and I want that but how can I do that if I can't even handle two kids. I don't want to disappoint you."

"Let's take it one at a time alright. Don't worry about that. We have to find a way to cope with what's going on now. I don't want another baby right now. And if we never have another one that's fine we have these two and they're already more than I expected. I love our family Lina. You're not disappointing me."

"I am. I know you want more kids. You might not right now but what about if I don't when you do? And we won't even have kids because we don't have sex. I don't feel like having sex. I'm just not in the mood ever. I feel like sleeping or eating. Or anything but not sex. What kind of wife does that? What wife doesn't want sex with her husband? Or fiancé? Because that's what you are. We aren't even married."

"Don't worry about imaginary kids. And as far as sex... I love you I don't want sex if-"

"You don't?" I ask him standing up.

"No." He says standing next to me. He places his hand on my face but I push him away. He doesn't even want me that way. Don't all men want that? Is there something wrong with me? I suddenly feel rejected. All those fears I had about him not wanting me after I had a baby are true.

"Why? Is... Did I do something?" I ask stuttering.

"No you didn't." He says looking confused.

"Then do you just not... Want me. Is there something wrong with me?" I ask taking a step back looking at floor. Now I can't even look at him.

"What? Lina, I do. There's. Nothing wrong with you. There never has been."

"Is it because I had a baby? You just don't find me... Attractive?" I say whispering so I don't feel so embarrassed. As if the quieter I say the less likely it will hurt when he turns me down.

"What?" I shake my head. I don't want to have to repeat that. I already know the answer. "You think I don't want you? Answer me!" He shouts making me jump. I can't answer him. I have to just shut up and keep myself from crying all the time where he's concerned. "Lina I love you." But I don't want you like that. I can already hear what he's going to say. "I want you. Always. All the fucking time I want you. I would have sex with you everyday if you and Evan would let me. You're beautiful and sexy." He steps forward and holds my head in place so that I'm looking at him. "You're my beautiful, amazing, sexy as fuck wife that is too damn insecure for her own good. It's not that I don't want sex it's that I know you don't want sex and I've put you through enough to force you into having sex." Put me through enough? What does this mean. "You had a baby and you take care of our kids practically all day. You make me breakfast in the morning even when you're pissed or tired. Which you really don't have to do by the way. You're an amazing person. I'm lucky to have you. Anyone would be lucky to have you but you chose me. And I chose you. I find you attractive. Very attractive. I'm Just not going to pressure you on that. We'll have sex when you're ready." He strokes my cheek.

"What if I never want sex." He smirks at me.

"That's not going to happen. You won't live you're life without sex. You love sex. I know you do. More specifically you love sex with me." He says winking. I smile just a little knowing he's completely right. "You're the one who doesn't think you're attractive not me." He's right. I take his wrist and push it away from my face. I intertwine out fingers at my side. "That's another thing you have to stop killing yourself with the working out. I know you're trying to get back in shape but you were small to begin with how much more are you planning to lose. You're already where you were before the pregnancy. I know how much you weighed because I heard you telling Andy. So don't lie about that." He let's go and picks up Evan from his rocker that was next to the couch. "See this guy. This is the reason your body changed. If I had to gain weight I would do it because this little one is a damn master piece if you ask me. I know I'm not the one who gained weight and got pregnant but you can't look at that face and tell me it's not worth it." I smile at him because he's right.

"He is." I tell him.

"And you made him. You and that incredible body of yours has made sure he is healthy. He wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you. Don't feel insecure. I will always love you because you have given me best things in my life." I kiss Evan's head before looking up at Elliot again. "And your tits are amazing now. Before they were good but now..." I chuckle at him. Always the jokes with him. No matter how serious he always make me laugh.

"I love you Elliot."

"I love you too." He presses his lips against my forehead. Then moves back to the couch when he asks me to sit next to him. I sit down but. Then he moves so that he's laying down with Evan on his chest and Elliot has his head on my lap. I'm tempted not to tell him about tomorrow but I know it's not right so tell him.

"I have to talk to the detective on the homicide case about the break in tomorrow. I already called Mia and she's going to take Evan for a few hours." I watch him as he takes a few deep breathes before looking up at me.

"Okay. Did you want me to go with you?" I look at him completely caught off guard.

"Umm why? I mean sure if you want to."

"You can say no if you don't want me to go." I use Elliot's shirt to wipe the drool off Evan then use the blanket to cover him. He's wide awake right now and it makes me smile to see him trying to lift his head.

"I didn't say I didn't want you to go but I'm surprised you aren't mad at me."

"I'm not mad because one, you are telling me about it before not after. Two, you aren't taking Evan. Even though you didn't take him last time. But I'm glad you talked to me about this. I like when you talk to me about things."

"I like when we talk in general." He chuckles lightly looking at the baby. "He looks like you." I tell him.

"He does. So will you go out with me Friday?" He asks without looking at me.

"Are you asking me out? Like on a date?" I say with a fake shocked expression.

"A date." He confirms.

"I don't know it's kind of sudden and I might have plans."

"We'll tell me when you decide."

"Okay."

"Just say yes." He says looking at me.

"Sure. Are you going to stand me up again?"

"No I'll be here I promise."

"Where are we going?" I ask standing up and placing a blanket on the floor for Evan to lay on his belly. I lay him down and show him a toy that he watched but can't really grab because he can't control his movements enough. Elliot gets off the couch and lays resting his head on a pillow facing us.

"Did you want to go somewhere specific?" He runs his finger over Evan's foot which he moves. "He's ticklish."

"Do it again. Not really. Dinners always nice." I comment getting on Evan's other side. He moves his foot again when Elliot runs his finger over his arch.

"Well I had an idea of something we could do. Do you want to eat dinner before or after." I shrug. "You know what, I'll just surprise you. You're too indecisive." I smile at him. I run my finger tip lightly over Evan's back and he arches his back. It's too cute to not do again so I keep doing it until I see his lips pull into a smile.

"Ah! Look!" Evan extends his hands because I startle him. "Sorry baby." Elliot looks at Evan when I start to run my hands over his back again. When he sees that Evan is indeed smiling he gets his phone to take a video. "He's smiling. Aww he's so cute." I want to just pick him up but I want to see him smile. Before I know it I'm crying and I can't take it anymore I have to hold him.

"See he's totally worth it." Elliot says standing behind me as we lay him down on his crib for bed.

"I know." I take his hand and lead him to bed where he lays behind me. We've slept in the same bed the last few days but it feels like we've been so far away. I woke up at three am as usual but Elliot wasn't in bed. I found him changing Evan's diaper. I made him breakfast like I usually do and Evan was asleep when I went to check on him after Elliot left. I agreed to call Elliot later that day to see if I would need him to go with me to the police station. I dint though. I'd rather have him come home early than see him for an hour during the day.


To the reviewer who was interested in Mia's story, I am writing her story with Luke to input as a chapter but it's a work in progress. When I have writers block with Lina and Elliot I usually write about Mia. So that will come, soon I hope. We will find out what happens with Kate and maybe jack Hyde but from Lina's POV. Also, there will still be a wedding but not yet. A few things need to happen before the wedding. everyone seems to think Lina waking up at 3am for Elliot is ridiculous. So do I. But that's the kind of person she is. I was going to have them be in a fight longer but thats not who they are. So any date ideas? Or anything else I need to add to the story? Thanks for reading and reviewing.