Remote

"Dude? What's taking you so long to get ready?" Sam asked as she entered her and Freddie's bedroom, their one-year old son, Tyler, balanced in one arm as she began opening and closing drawers. "And have you seen my scarf? I thought Emma and Ashton used it for their snowman yesterday, but now I don't know where it went."

"Huh? Oh, no, I haven't seen it," Freddie said, clearing his throat as he stepped out of the adjoining bathroom. "Hey, do we have any cough medicine downstairs?"

"I dunno, you might've finished it up last week," Sam shrugged. "Why? You can't be sick again already."
"Well my throat's been a little tingly and I've had this cough the past two days," Freddie said. "I think I'm gonna go see the doctor after work today."
"For a little cold?" Sam scoffed. "For crying out loud, man up, Fredwad! You're thirty-three years old! You can handle a sore throat on your own."

"Well I also have this kink in the side of my neck that I kind of want to have checked out," Freddie said. "I might've pulled a muscle."

"From what?" Sam smirked, amused. "Man baby, you're such a hypochondriac."

"I'm just concerned about my health!" Freddie defended.

"You're fine, you have a cold!" Sam said, rolling her eyes. "God, your mom ruined you. But…whatever, if it will make you happy, go to the doctor's after work and have him tell you exactly what I am. Just don't be home too late. You know how the kids get in the evening."

"I'll be back an hour late," Freddie promised, stepping over to kiss her as he took Tyler from her. "Tops."

….

"Jason! For the millionth time, will you stop flying that stupid remote control helicopter in the house?" Sam yelled later that evening as she set Tyler down in his playpen. "I leave to give your brother a bath for ten minutes and you're already starting again?"
"But I'm bored!" Jason moaned.

"Well watch T.V.!"

"You and daddy say I can't watch T.V. after eight o'clock," Jason pointed out.

"Er, well, you're nine, you've earned the privilege," Sam said lamely.

"Really? Sweet!" Jason grinned, grabbing the remote.

"Don't watch anything you're not supposed to!" Sam added quickly as Emma and Ashton ran into the room.

"Girls! I told you, get into your pajamas!" Sam said. "Now! It's bed time!"

"We don't want to go to bed," Emma said. "We're playing."

"Yeah, we're gonna stay up," Ashton nodded.

"Oh?" Sam frowned, crossing her arm. "Well last time I checked, I was the mom, you were the kids, and you guys have to listen to-hey! Hey don't run away when I'm yelling at you!"

But the twins had turned around and raced out of the room, still playing their game.

"An hour tops…" Sam mumbled under her breath. "Ha! That nub's almost two-and-a-half hours late! He's so dead when he gets home…"

Right on cue, the front door opened and Freddie walked in.

"Finally!" Sam exclaimed. "I thought you said you weren't gonna take forever!"

"Sorry," Freddie said. "I, um, lost track of-"

"Well you know what? I've dealt with them all day," Sam said. "Now, they're yours. You got your break, I'm gonna go upstairs and take mine."

"Alright," Freddie sighed. "I'll get them all in bed."

"Shoosh yeah, you will," Sam said. "And have fun with the twins…they picked up some attitude from somewhere."

Later that evening, Sam was just pulling back the covers on her and Freddie's bed when Freddie came into the room.

"They're all asleep…finally," he announced. "Didn't it used to be easier to get them all in bed?"

"Yeah, when they were little," Sam chuckled. "The older they get, the more they want to argue with us. Just be thankful Tyler's too little to put up a fight right now. Hey…I did leave you dinner in the kitchen. Even if you're late, I wouldn't starve you."

"Yeah, I found it," Freddie said, giving her a small smile. "It was good."

"So how'd it go at the doctors?" Sam asked. "Did he tell you you're overreacting like I did? Did you tell him your wife said you were fine, but you refused to listen."

"Um…no," Freddie sighed. "Not-Not exactly."
"Well then what? Did he diagnose with some fancy word for the common cold?" Sam chuckled. "Did he write you a prescription for orange juice and cough drops?"

"No, actually, he told me I had cancer."

Sam stopped laughing at once and looked over at her husband. "Okay, that's not even a little funny. Don't joke about that."

"I'm not joking," Freddie said heavily.

"Dude, fine, you made your point," Sam said. "I'll stop teasing you for being super health conscious."

"Sam…I'm serious," Freddie said softly. "The doctor-The doctor told me I had cancer. That's-That's kind of why it took so long there."

"What?" Sam frowned. "You-No, you-you can't-you don't-no."

"The doctor said he's ninety-nine percent sure it's lymphoma," Freddie mumbled. "They're gonna do some more accurate testing on me tomorrow to get a definite diagnosis. But they did a quick blood test and-and it's definitely some form of cancer."

"Oh my God…" Sam whispered.

"Yeah, apparently the cough and sore throat were-were symptoms of that," Freddie sighed.

"They-They were?" Sam said, feeling a tear roll down her cheek. "Oh…Oh baby, I-I'm so sorry. This-This is all my fault. I was the one telling you were fine all this time. I should've told you to go to the doctors sooner! Then they could've found this out earlier and-"

"No, no, no," Freddie said quickly. "Sam, don't. It's not your fault. I-I didn't think it was that serious either."
He sat down next to her and took her hand, and she gently squeezed his.

"So…how-how serious is it?" Sam sniffed after a moment. "How bad?"

"I'm not sure," Freddie said. "They're going to be able to give me more information tomorrow."

"Well I'm going with you," Sam said at once. "I'll find someone to watch the kids."

"I-I'd like that," Freddie nodded.

"I can't believe this," Sam said heavily. "I can't…I never thought…"

"I know," Freddie said as Sam put her arm around his shoulder. "But…it will be okay. There's a good chance this was caught early on and I'll be perfectly fine; we shouldn't start thinking about the worst right away."

Sam opened her mouth to argue, but thought better of it at the last minute.

"Alright," she whispered. "You-You're right. Let's just hope that-that they can get you fixed up as soon as possible."

She leaned up and kissed him. "I love you, Freddie."

….

"This room is so bland," Sam mumbled, trying to force herself to think about something other than her husband's pending diagnosis. She looked back over at Freddie, who was sitting on the examination table. "I mean have these people ever heard of posters? Or non-fluorescent lighting? They don't have to make these places super depressing. I mean the kids' doctor has all those cool paintings on the walls. Why do they just stop doing that when you become an adult?"

"No clue," Freddie shrugged.

Sam stepped over to him and put her hand on his shoulder, looking down at the red bandage around his arm from where they had drawn more of his blood earlier. She knew how much Freddie hated that; he had never been a fan of needles. "Want me to get you something from the cafeteria?" she asked him.

"No," Freddie replied. "I'm not really hungry. Go get something for yourself if you want; I can wait here."

"Nah," Sam said. "I-I don't have much of an appetite myself."

The couple had spent the entire morning so far at the hospital, waiting anxiously for more news on Freddie's condition.

Finally, the door opened and Freddie's doctor stepped into the room.

"Did you get the results back?" Sam asked at once.

"Yes, I did," the doctor nodded, looking down at the clipboard in his hands.

"So? What is it?" Sam demanded. "Do you know how serious it is?"

The doctor sighed heavily. "Well…unfortunately, after reviewing your blood test, Mr. Benson, we found that you do in fact have lymphoma, just as we suspected."

Freddie gripped the end of the table he was sitting on, but he managed a slow nod.

"And also, unfortunately, we've concluded that you have the more aggressive, non-Hodgkin form of the lymphoma."

Sam felt the small balloon of hope that had been housed in her ever since Freddie had told her the news deflate. "So-So he has the worst form of this then?"

The doctor sighed. "To be blunt, yes."

Sam had to lean back against the examination table to keep her balance as she felt her knees buckling beneath her. Freddie put a hand on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Of course, Sam couldn't help but think. He finds out he has this horrible disease and he's comforting me.

"But," the doctor said quickly. "That doesn't mean we just write this off. Lymphoma is one of the more treatable forms of cancer; it has a very good prognosis with many forms of treatment. If we start the chemotherapy right away there's a very good chance Mr. Benson can make a full recovery."

"Chemo?" Freddie repeated. "That's the treatment that makes your hair falls out, right?"

"Who cares what it does to your hair!" Sam said. She turned the doctor. "So can he start that?"

"Absolutely," the doctor nodded. "The sooner the better. We can get him ready for today, as a matter of fact."

"Today?" Freddie said. "As in right now?"

"If that's okay with you," the doctor replied.

Freddie glanced over at Sam. "Well…if-if that's what we have to do then…I guess I'll do it."

"It's going to be an all-day process," the doctor told him. "And you're going to have to spend the night here since it's going to be your first time going through the chemo. I can have the chemo team come in here too to explain exactly what you'll be experiencing and answer any questions that I'm sure you have."

"Um, yeah, that-that's…okay," Freddie said. Sam could see that he was doing all he could to avoid looking scared, and she knew it was more for her sake than for his.

As the doctor stepped back out of the room, Sam immediately threw her arms around Freddie and hugged him tightly.

"It's alright, Sam," Freddie whispered.

"That's what I'm supposed to be saying to you," Sam mumbled. She released him from her embrace. "I'll stay with you the whole time. Through all of this. Every chemo treatment, every procedure…all of it."

Freddie nodded. "Thank you. I-I appreciate that."

"Of course," Sam said softly. "I'm your wife…in sickness and health, remember?"

Freddie gave her a small smile. "Never really thought too much about that part of the vows. I was a little more focused on the happier parts."

"So was I," Sam admitted. "But…you know, it is what it is. We-We can get through this."

"Yeah, we-we can," Freddie agreed. "The doctor said that lymphoma has a good prognosis so…that-that's something. I-I'm sure the chemo will help me and before we know it, I'll be back to one hundred percent."

"Yeah, I-I'm sure," Sam nodded, plastering a huge smile onto her face.
Both were fully aware that the other was more scared than they were letting on right now, but neither chose to comment on this.

"Well, um, since-since you're going to be here overnight, I can run home and get you some stuff to make you more comfortable," Sam said. "Your pajamas, your pillows, some magazines…"

"Great," Freddie said. "That'd be…great. Thanks."

"No problem," Sam said, leaning up to kiss him. "Hey, I-I'm just gonna go grab a sip of water. I'll be right back."

"Alright," Freddie nodded.

Sam quickly hurried out of the room, and the second she closed the door behind her, she slumped against the wall of the hallway and let out a soft cry.

How could this be happening? Why was this happening? Less than twenty-four hours ago, everything had been fine! Now she had to watch as Freddie went through all of this while there was nothing she could do to help him.

"Why him?" Sam whispered, feeling her eyes sting with tears.

Why him indeed. Freddie had always been the one to make sure he went to his annual check-ups. He had been the one to eat healthy and take his vitamins. So why was he the one sitting in there sick?

"Mrs. Benson?"

Sam looked up and saw Freddie's doctor turning the corner.

"I was just coming back in to see you and your husband," he said. "The head oncologist is on his way up to take a look at him before we begin the preparations for chemo."

"Okay," Sam said, her voice shaky. "Um…doctor, what you said back in there…you-you said Freddie's prognosis is strong. Were you-were you sugarcoating it when you said that? Because I-I need to know…"

"Mrs. Benson, what I said about lymphoma being one of the more treatable forms of cancer is very true," the doctor assured her. "It has a very high recovery rate; about thirty to sixty percent of patients fully recover after treatment."

Sam sighed. "Yeah," she whispered. "But that means forty to seventy percent don't."

…..

They hadn't even started the chemo yet, and Sam could already feel how nervous Freddie was as he laid there in his hospital beds having a million needles stuck into him.

Sam glanced down at the pamphlet in her hand. Apparently there were a lot of side effects that went along with chemotherapy. Nausea, soreness, fatigue, irritability, motor impairments…and then of course there was the infamous hair loss.

"So how long is he going to have to go through this for?" Sam asked one of the doctors by Freddie's bedside.

"We're not certain yet," he replied. "We'll monitor his progress closely. If we begin to see a significant reduction in the cancer cells, we can begin to slowly wean him off the treatment. Now that could take a few months or a few years. Every case is different."

"Right," Sam sighed, looking back down at the pamphlet.

"Thanks again for grabbing my pajamas from home, Sam," Freddie said, trying to keep his voice nonchalant. "They're so much more comfortable than that hospital gown I had on earlier."

"Of course," Sam said as her phone began to ring for the third time that hour. She looked at the screen and saw Carly's name flashing across the screen again.

"Who is it?" Freddie asked.

"Carly," Sam replied. "Oh…Oh God…I-I completely forgot that she still has the kids. When we dropped them off there this morning we told her it would only be for a couple of hours."

"That was almost twelve hours ago," Freddie commented. "She must be getting worried."

"Yeah," Sam mumbled. "Um, hey, I-I'll just go call her and ask her if she can keep them overnight. I'm sure she won't mind."

"No, Sam, you-you should go get them and bring them home," Freddie said. "They're probably wondering what's going on. And Tyler's probably getting fussy…"

"But what about you?" Sam asked softly.

"I-I'll be okay here tonight," Freddie said. "The way things are going, they're probably not going to actually start the chemo until the morning anyway. Besides, you've been here all day."

"So have you."

"Yeah, well, that doesn't mean we both have to be trapped," Freddie said, giving her a small smile. "Really, Sam, I can take care of myself for a little bit in here. It's the kids that need you more."

Sam looked down at her lap. "What do you want me to tell them?"

Freddie sighed. "The truth, I guess. No point in hiding it from them. I don't know how much they'll understand though. Actually, I'm kind of glad about that…"

Sam slowly stood up and leaned over the bed and kissed him. "You'll call me if anything happens? No matter what time it is?"

"I promise," Freddie assured her.

"There you are!" Carly said as she let Sam into her house. "Where have you been all day? I figured you'd be back before lunch time to get them. It's ten o'clock!"

"Sorry," Sam mumbled. "I-I lost track of time. Thanks so much for keeping them here."

She stepped over to the playpen and picked up a sleeping Tyler. "Where's Jason and the twins?"

"Upstairs playing in Clarissa's room," Carly said. "I gave up trying to get them to bed. I figured they'd just sleep in tomorrow morning. So seriously, what were you and Freddie doing all day? Oh…I swear, if you tricked me into watching them all day so you two could fool around at your place, I'm-"

"No," Sam said quickly. "No, it-it wasn't that."

"Hey…is-is everything okay?" Carly asked, catching sight of her best friend's expression.

Sam shook her head. "Not really."

"What's-"

"I-I don't really want to talk about it," Sam whispered. "Not right now."

"Well where's Freddie?" Carly asked.

"He…" Sam began, her voice cracking. "He…um…"

"Hi, mom!" Jason suddenly said as him and the twins came downstairs.

"It's past our bedtime!" Ashton beamed proudly. "And we're not even tired."

"We should be allowed to stay up this late every night," Emma nodded.

"Yeah…that's never gonna happen," Sam couldn't help but chuckle. "Come on, we need to get home."

"Where's dad?" Jason asked. "Is he at home?"

"Um…just-just go head out to the car," Sam said quickly.

Thankfully, the kids did not protest as they said goodbye to Carly and started out to Sam's car.

Sam turned and looked at Carly. "I-I'll call you tomorrow and we'll talk," she told her. "I just…I'm so exhausted Carly. And-And I hate to ask again, but-but do you think it's at all possible for me to drop them off here again in the morning?"

"Well, sure," Carly nodded. "I don't mind. But-But I-"

"Tomorrow," Sam said again. "Please."

"Alright," Carly conceded. "I-I'll see you then."

"Thanks so much," Sam said. "You're really helping me out here, Carls."

When Sam and the kids arrived back to the Benson house, the older three children were already beginning their usual pre-bedtime arguments.

"Can't we just stay up for an hour more?" Jason begged.
"We're not tired!" Emma pouted.

"We want to keep playing!" Ashton said. "Where's daddy? He can read to us!"

"Alright…" Sam said heavily, setting Tyler down. There was no point in delaying it anymore. "You guys, um, daddy-daddy's not here."

"How come?" Jason asked curiously.

Sam took a deep breath. "Here…sit down."

Emma, Ashton and Jason all too their seats on the couch, looking up at their mother expectantly.

"So, um, daddy…daddy he's…well, he's sick," Sam said slowly.

"Like with a cold?" Emma asked.

"No," Sam said. "No, it's-it's a lot more serious than a cold. Daddy's really sick. He has something called cancer. Do-Do you guys know what that is?"

The twins shook their heads, but Jason nodded.

"It's when all your hair falls out and you get all weak and you-you die," Jason said softly. "I saw it on T.V."

"Okay, um, that-that's not-"

"I don't want daddy to die!" Ashton gasped.

"Daddy's not going to die," Sam said firmly. "Um, Jason, honey, er, what you said is half true. Daddy's going to probably lose his hair and he's gonna be feeling weak, but-but not everybody who has cancer dies. People can beat it! And-And daddy's going to be one of those people. That's why he's sleeping at the hospital tonight. He's going to be getting special medicine that will hopefully make him feel all better."

"I want to see daddy," Emma said.

"I know you do, honey, but you can't right now," Sam told her gently. "But if everything goes alright then tomorrow afternoon daddy should be coming back home. But when he does, we need to really work to make sure that-that we do everything we can to make him comfortable. He's going to be really tired and he's not going to have a lot of energy. He's not going to be able to run around with you guys like he normally does. You're going to have to let him rest and be quiet for him."

"If we do, will he get better faster?" Ashton asked.

"Um, well…it-it might help," Sam said. "You know what I'm sure daddy would really like, though? While you're at Aunt Carly's tomorrow you guys can make him a cool card that he can bring with him whenever he has to go to the hospital. He'd like to have something like that there with him. It'd really help him because you know daddy's not a big fan of hospitals."

"We can do that!" Jason said excitedly.

"Yeah, we'll make him the best card ever," Emma nodded.

"I know you guys will," Sam smiled.

….

Sam walked into Freddie's hospital room bright and early the next morning.

"Hi," she said, stepping over to his bedside to kiss him. "How was it last night?"

"Fine," Freddie yawned. "I didn't get much sleep because nurses kept coming in to poke and prod me, but it's not like I have a whole lot planned for today."

"Did they start the chemo yet?" Sam asked, sitting down in the chair next to him.

"A couple minutes ago," Freddie nodded.

"So this medicine just goes right into your body?" Sam asked, looking at the IVs connected to her husband. "Can you feel it?"
"They said I'll start feeling nauseous soon," Freddie replied. "But right now I don't feel much of anything. How-How are the kids?"

"They miss you," Sam told him. "A lot. They all wanted to come, but I don't think they should be hanging around a hospital all day."
"No," Freddie agreed.

"They can't wait to see you, though," Sam continued. "When you come home later they're going to be so excited."

"I can't wait either," Freddie said. "I miss them all so much. Jeez…it's been one day and it feels so weird not having seen them."

Sam reached for his hand and took it in hers.

"Well just keep focusing on that," she told him gently. "Oh, and I-I told Carly about this too. I-I didn't know if you wanted me to or not, but-but I thought she should know since we're probably gonna have to rely on her for babysitting for awhile. She-She was really worried about you, but I told her you were gonna beat this thing. She'll probably come by later today once you get home too. And, um, I-I was thinking on my way over here that we really should tell your mom today too. I mean…this-this is kind of huge. And the woman gets mad when you don't tell her about a bruise. And, well…she deserves to know. Any parent does."

"Yeah," Freddie sighed. "You're right. And don't worry about doing it. I-I think I should be the one to tell her. I can have her come by tonight and-"

Suddenly his sentence fell and he gave a loud gag.

Sam, perhaps from years of being a mother and dealing with her fair share of vomiting episodes, seemed to automatically know what was going to happen, and quickly grabbed the waste bin from beside the bed and gave it to Freddie just in time.

Sam watched helplessly as Freddie threw up the entire contents of his stomach.

"And…there's the nausea," Freddie moaned, wiping his mouth on his sleeve.

"Here," Sam said softly, grabbing a towel from the table by the bed and using it to sponge the corners of his lips.

"Sorry," Freddie mumbled, trying to catch his breath.

"Hey, you did this for me through three pregnancies," Sam smirked. "I can return the favor. You want some water?"

"I can't drink anything until this is done," Freddie mumbled, leaning back against the pillows, now feeling the full effects of the treatment. "Which isn't going to be for another two hours."

Sam scooted her chair closer to his and carefully began fluffing his pillows and straightening his blankets.

"Well," she said. "Then we'll just have to find a way to make the time pass."

She reached down into her bag and pulled out one of Freddie's old Galaxy Wars comics.

"Is that-"

"Issue forty-three?" Sam grinned. "The Invasion of the Planet Nebutron? With the first appearance of Master Ten-Tan? Why yes it is."
"That one's my favorite," Freddie said.

"I know it is," Sam said. "I was thinking I could read it out loud to you."
"You'd read a comic?" Freddie asked, the smallest of smiles stretching over his face.

"Well I'm not going to make the weird voices for the different characters like you do when you read these things to yourself," Sam chuckled. "But yeah…"

"Have I told you how much I love you?" Freddie smirked.

"What? You trying to make me puke too?" Sam laughed playfully, rolling her eyes. She opened up the comic book. "But I love you too, baby."

…..

"Carly should be dropping the kids off in a few minutes," Sam told Freddie later that afternoon as she helped her husband into their house. "She's not going to come see you herself until later, though. I told he we kind of wanted some time just for the six of us."

Freddie nodded as Sam helped him sit down on the couch.

The first dose of chemo had definitely taken a lot out of him, and Sam could tell that he felt horrible.

"Want to maybe go lie down upstairs for a little bit?" she asked him. "You can take a nap and then the kids can come up and-"

"No, I've been in bed all day at the hospital," Freddie mumbled. "I want to see them."

Sam leaned down and gave him a quick kiss just as she heard a car pulling into the driveway.

"Let me know if they get too wild for you," she told him, giving him another kiss as she got up to let them in.

Sam opened up the door just as the four Benson children were stepping up the front step.

"Hey," Sam greeted them, taking Tyler from Jason and giving a small wave to Carly in her car. "Alright, remember what we talked about last night. Don't get too rambunctious with daddy."

The kids ran into the living room, spotting their father right away on the sofa.

"Daddy!" Emma exclaimed, hurrying over scrambling onto his lap.

Sam saw Freddie wince slightly.

"Emma, honey, why don't you-"

"She's okay," Freddie said as he helped her and Ashton up.

"Hi, dad," Jason said, almost a bit nervously.

"Hey, buddy," Freddie said, using all his strength to pull a smile onto his face for him. "Come here."

Jason sat down next to him and gave him a hug. "We missed you," he said.

"I missed you guys too," Freddie nodded.

"We made you a card, daddy," Ashton said as Sam placed Tyler into Freddie's arms. "It's for you to take when you have to go to the hospital."

"It's gonna make you better!" Emma said proudly.

Ashton handed him the colorfully decorated card.

"We even let Tyler help us," Jason said as Freddie opened it up. "Those scribbles in the corner are from him."
"We had to sign his name for him, though," Ashton said. "Because he doesn't know how."

Freddie simply stared down at the card for a moment, not saying a word.

"Do you like it, daddy?" Emma asked.

"I love it," Freddie whispered.

…..

Sam sighed as she stood in front of the refrigerator, staring at the contents inside. Barbecue sauce, leftover fried chicken, pudding, ham…it all had to go.

Sam had been up all night reading about ways to help increase the chances of recovery for lymphoma and apparently a diet free of preservatives, high fat and sodium levels, and processed ingredients was one of the most recommended ways of helping the odds.

Sam reluctantly began to deposit all of her favorite foods into the large garbage bag in her hand. She wasn't going to torture Freddie by serving him bland salads and vegetables while the rest of the family chowed down on lasagna. As unfavorable as it would be, they would all give it up with him.

Sam heard the front door open and a second later Freddie's mother walked into the kitchen.

Normally, Sam would've been downright annoyed to find Marissa in her home at such an hour; she would've complained and moaned and demanded that Freddie get rid of her.

But now…Sam was actually glad to see her.

As expected, Marissa had been absolutely devastated to learn that her son had cancer. And in the three weeks that had passed since she was told the news, she had been over at the house nearly every single day. What surprised Sam, though, was that she didn't launch a huge series blame attacks towards her, as she had initially feared. Instead, Marissa had apparently seen that this was just as hard on Sam as it was on her, and that similarity had united them.

"Hi," Sam said, looking over her shoulder at her mother-in-law as she continued what she was doing. "I didn't think you stayed up this late. It's after midnight."

"I thought I'd check to see how he's doing," Marissa replied.

"He's asleep," Sam told her. "Which is a good thing. He goes back for chemo tomorrow and he needs his energy. The appointment's at one. I was actually hoping maybe you wouldn't mind coming here in the morning while I get the kids to school so you can be here in case he needs anything. Don't make it seem like you're babysitting him or anything, cause he'd hate that, but you know, if you could just make sure he eats a decent enough breakfast that'd be great. Even if he's just gonna wind up throwing it up at the hospital, I figure it's better for him to have something in his stomach."

"Of course," Marissa nodded. "What are you doing with all that food?"

"Throwing it out," Sam replied. She gave her a small smile. "I should've called you over earlier. You've been dreaming of doing this for years. But um, hey, speaking of food, I was wondering if maybe you wouldn't mind giving me a few of those health recipes you have. I don't really know how to make any of that stuff."

"I'd love to," Marissa smiled.

"Great," Sam yawned as she tossed the last of the fridge's contents into the bag. She looked at the clock above the stove. "Alright…I've got to go do laundry and then I have to do some stuff for work."
"Samantha, you look exhausted. Why don't you go to bed and I'll take care of the clothes."

"Thanks, but I still have to do the work stuff," Sam said. "I was supposed to have it submitted by five. Luckily my boss let me have another day, but if I miss another deadline I'm screwed. And, well, considering I have to go to the office and beg for my full-time position back, I should probably stay on his good side."

"You're going back to work?" Marissa frowned.

"I have to," Sam said. "Freddie-Freddie officially isn't working anymore. His office is giving him some type of medical leave, but-but it doesn't pay. But when he gets well enough to go back to work, his position will be waiting for him!"

When…Sam repeated to herself. Not-Not if. Just keep telling yourself that.

"We have enough in our savings to last awhile, I guess, but-but Freddie always says we shouldn't be emptying out that account right now. It's for the kids' college our retirement and stuff. I talked to Carly yesterday, and she says she thinks I have a shot at getting the position. The hours are pretty flexible, plus I'd be working for her, so she'd be willing to help me out. And I think I could manage it. I'd drop the kids off at school on my way there, and I'd schedule any of Freddie's chemo treatments for during my lunch break so I could be with him, and then I'd just do the housework and stuff at night like I do now anyway."

"Don't burn yourself out, Samantha," Marissa said; one of the few caring things she had ever said to her daughter-in-law in the ten years her and Freddie had been married. "If you need money, I can-"

"No," Sam said quickly, knowing full well that Freddie would hate the idea of having to take money from his mother. "No, um, thanks, but-but we can manage."

"Sam? Mom?"

Sam and Marissa spun around and saw Freddie stepping into the kitchen.

"Freddie! Why are you out of bed?" Marissa asked, hurrying over to her son.

"I can walk, mom," Freddie told her.

"Baby, I thought you were asleep," Sam said. "You have chemo tomorrow. You need your rest."

"I couldn't sleep," Freddie yawned. "But-But I couldn't help but overhear. You-You're going back to work full-time?"

Sam sighed. "Yeah, um, I-I'm gonna try. But don't worry! I'm still gonna be there at all your appointments. I promise."
Freddie frowned as he sat down at the table. "Well…maybe-maybe I can call back my office and see if they'd let me do some work from home. That way I can work on it during chemo and-and you wouldn't have to be so busy."

"No, Freddie, don't-don't worry about that," Sam said. "I don't want you to stress out; it's not going to help you get better any quicker."
"But you're gonna stress yourself out."

"Nah," Sam chuckled, sitting down next to him. "Have you met family? I can handle stress. Besides, it's only temporary. Once you're better and you get this stupid cancer out of your system, we can go back to our old arrangement."

Freddie didn't reply.

"I'm going to go start on that laundry," Marissa said. "Fredward, you get some rest like Sam said."

As his mother headed out of the kitchen, Freddie turned to Sam. "At least the two of you are finally getting along. Who knew it just took me getting cancer to make that happen."

"She's not as bad as I thought," Sam nodded.

"Yeah…she grows on you," Freddie said softly. He looked down at his lap. "I'm sorry Sam."

"For what?"
"For doing all this to you."

"Freddie…stop," Sam said. "We've been over this. This isn't your fault, and you're not-you're not becoming some big burden. You're my husband."
"Yeah, but you didn't sign up for this," Freddie sighed.

"Well neither did you!" Sam pointed out. "Baby, I've told you so many times. I don't care if I have to work six jobs through this whole thing. If it's going to help you-"

"But is it?"

Sam's face fell. "W-What?"

"Sam, we've been doing this chemotherapy for three weeks now and-"

"Three weeks is nothing!" Sam exclaimed, louder than she intended. "No one gets cured from cancer in three weeks! It takes months! Or years!"

"Yeah, if it works," Freddie said.

"It will," Sam said firmly. "You're going to get better!"

"How can you possibly know that for sure, Sam?" Freddie snapped. "Did I miss the memo about them finding a definite cure for cancer? Because I think that would've at least made the news! We're doing all this for a possibility that I'll get better. What if you work yourself like crazy, we spend all this money, waste all this time and it still doesn't work?"

Sam sat there in stunned silence.

"I'd want you to get remarried, though," Freddie whispered. "I wouldn't want you to just spend the rest of your life by yourself, and the kids should have some father figure. I mean-"

"Stop it," Sam said quietly. "Stop it…Don't you ever talk like that…You know what? Yeah, you're right. This-This all isn't a sure thing. All those things we say about this all turning out fine…we both know we don't really believe them; that it's a show for the kids. You think I don't know what might happen at the end of this? You don't think I know that when this is all done I might be left without-without you? Of course I know, Freddie! It kills me. I stay up all night just worrying about how I'd ever be able to do anything without you! So that's why I'm going to do everything I can to try to keep that from happening. I need to. If I don't have at least some little shred of hope to cling to during all this I-I'm gonna lose my mind, Freddie!"

She had tears streaming down face, and she was sure that Marissa, wherever she was in the house, could probably hear her, but she didn't care.

"I love you, Freddie," Sam whispered. "And I hate seeing you like this, I really do. But-But just…just don't give up."

Freddie stood up and stepped over to her, gently lacing his arms around her and hugging her close to him. "I won't," he whispered. "For you."

…..

Six months…Six months of having poison pumped into his veins in hopes of getting the other poison out, and he still felt horrible. In fact, instead of getting better after each chemo treatment, he felt himself just getting weaker and weaker. Apparently that was normal, but Freddie wasn't so sure.

"Hey, sorry I'm late," Sam said, hurrying into the room with Tyler on her hip. "Tyler's check-up ran a little late. Did they start yet?"

"Yeah," Freddie nodded. "A few minutes ago. You didn't exactly miss much."

"Well, good news," Sam said, sitting down next to him, giving him a quick kiss. "Tyler's growing right on schedule. And he was so brave…he got a shot and he barely cried, right Tyler?"

"Ya!" the toddler babbled.

Freddie couldn't help but smile. As much as he loved his children, he really didn't like having them see him during these treatments. He was their dad; he was supposed to be this big, strong figure in their life. But he figured Tyler was at least too young to realize what was going on. He hoped.

"Way to go," Freddie told his son, fighting the wave of nausea coursing through his body.

"Carly's going to come by and get him soon," Sam said, hugging Tyler closer to her body, as though she hoped that would keep any germs floating around away from him.

"Alright," Freddie said.

"And when you come home tonight I was thinking we could all watch a movie if you're up for it," Sam continued. "Anything you want. Even sci-fi."

"Um, they-they actually told me I have to spend the night," Freddie mumbled.

"What?" Sam frowned. "Why?"

"They're not sure, but they think I picked up some infection," Freddie told her. "They're going to run some more tests once this is done."
Sam put a hand on his forehead. "You have a fever."

"Do I? I didn't notice," Freddie shrugged. "I feel terrible either way."

"Well, I'll stay with you," Sam told him. "I'll have your mom stay with the kids."
Freddie nodded.

"Oh," Sam said. "And-And Spencer called me earlier. He wanted to know if maybe later this week you'd be up for some video games. Maybe him and Gibby can come over and you three can play that War of Warlords thing or whatever."

"I dunno."
"Come on," Sam said gently. "You-You've barely seen them since all of this happened. You used to beg to have even one hour to hang out with those two."

"Yeah, before I-"

"They don't care," Sam said. "You think Spencer Gibby are gonna suddenly not like you or treat you differently because you lost all your hair or your muscles aren't as big as they used to be. I-I think it'd be really good for you to hang around someone other than me, your mom and the kids."

Freddie sighed. "I guess I should at least log back on to War of Warlords…I haven't played in so long and I left my org in a swamp without any protective armor."
"There you go," Sam beamed just as her phone vibrated. "Oh…that's Carly. She's down in the waiting room and they won't let her come up. I've got go down and meet her. Ty, can you say bye-bye to daddy?"

"Da!" Tyler cooed happily.

"Bye, Tyler," Freddie chuckled. "Tell everyone I love and miss them."

"Yup," Sam nodded. "I'll be back in a sec."

Freddie watched as his wife left his room. It was unbelievable…she was working forty hours a week, taking care of four kids and the house, and spending nearly every second she had making sure that he was comfortable. He didn't know how she could stand, let alone fine the energy to make him feel even a little bit better.

Freddie gave a loud cough as he leaned back against the pillows.

Well, Sam had always been the stronger of the two.

Now that fact was just made even more obvious.

…..

Sam headed down to the waiting room, where Carly was standing by the front desk.

"Hey, how is he?" Carly asked right away.

"He's in a pretty decent mood, actually," Carly said as she handed off her son. "I think Tyler cheered him up."

"Well who wouldn't get cheered up from this adorable face?" Carly grinned, rustling Tyler's hair. "So what am I doing with him?"

"You can drop him off with Freddie's mom," Sam replied. "She has Jason and the twins there. And can you do me a favor and ask her if they can sleep there tonight?"

"Freddie's staying overnight?"

"Yeah," Sam sighed. "The doctors think he might have an infection. He got one a few weeks ago…it sucks, but he'll-he'll pull through it again. He just has to take some antibiotics."

"Well…tell him I said hey," Carly said, giving her a small smile. "I'll swing by when he gets home."
"Cool," Sam nodded.

"Hey, Sam?" Carly said. "How-How are you?"

Sam shrugged. "I'm not the one up there hooked up to a million IVs."

"Yeah, but…Sam, this-this has really been hard on you too."
Sam looked down at her feet. "I'll be okay."

She kissed Tyler's head and looked back up at Carly. "I've got to get back up there. Thanks again for getting him."

"No problem," Carly said. "Let me know if you need anything else."

Sam turned and headed back up to Freddie's room. Before she reached it, though, she spotted one of Freddie's doctor's standing by a nurse's station.

"Dr. Blan!" Sam said, hurrying over to him.

"Mrs. Benson," the doctor said as she approached. "What can I do for you?"

"I was just in there with Freddie earlier, and he said you guys think he might have an infection?" Sam said. "How serious is it? Worse than last time?"

"We're not sure; what we do know is that he has a fever and his white blood cell count is lower than it's been these past few weeks," Dr. Blan told her. "Now, it could be just another side effect from the chemo."

Sam nodded. She'd have to hope for that. Freddie couldn't handle anything else.

"Well…how is the chemo going?" Sam asked. "I-I know its only been six months but-but has it helped at all? Is he at least close to remission?"

"He's been bouncing back and forth a lot lately," the doctor sighed. "I can't give you a definite answer about that until we consistently see more consistent results. Now, something we did want to discuss with you and your husband is the possibility of implementing a new chemotherapy regimen. We'd increase his dosage and-"

"Increase it?" Sam repeated. "But-But it's already taking so much out of him."

"I know," the doctor nodded. "But it might help his chances."

Sam sighed. "Well…I'll talk to him about it. He's not going to like it, though."

Sam headed back into Freddie's room, where her husband lay fast asleep.

She liked it best when he managed to sleep through his treatments; at least she knew he wasn't in so much pain that he couldn't do that.

Six months…It had been the roughest six months she could've ever imagined.

She knew she shouldn't complain. People went through this for years; lifetimes. But still, she couldn't help but wish that this could just end; that this could be Freddie's last day in the hospital.

She took his hand, sadly noticing how light it felt.

She missed the days when she'd spend her time thinking up fun, new nicknames for Freddie when he walked through the door after work. She missed hearing him lecture her about leaving her clothes all over their room. She missed having their biggest concern be whether one of them remembered to pick up milk for the morning or if they remembered to empty the dishwasher. She missed not having to go to bed each night wondering if she'd soon be left by herself…

She had been trying with all her might to stay strong for Freddie's sake, but at times like this, she sometimes found herself breaking down.

She let out a soft sob.

She just needed at least some sign that this wasn't all in vein; that things would get better. Maybe then she'd be able to handle another six months of this.

…..

"You got your backpack all packed?" Sam asked Jason as she handed him and the twins their lunches.

"Uh-huh," Jason nodded. "Who's picking us up from school today?"

"Um…probably Uncle Spencer," Sam said, picking Tyler up from his highchair.

"Does daddy have to sleep at the hospital again tonight?" Emma asked.

"I don't know honey, I hope not," Sam replied.

"How long is it going to take for him to get better?" Ashton frowned. "It's been a really long time."
"Nine months…I know," Sam sighed. "But…we-we just have to be patient."
"Dad is going to get better though, right?" Jason asked.

Sam gave him a small smile. "Come on, we need to get you guys to school or you're gonna be later. Again. And I need to drop Tyler off with grandma before I go see daddy at the hospital."

"Can you tell him I got an A on my spelling test?" Jason asked.

"And tell him and Emma and I are doing a play at school about a mouse who works in a shoe store," Ashton said.

"I'll tell him everything," Sam assured them. "But seriously, we've got to go."

As Sam dropped off the kids, she felt a small pang of sadness as she realized how normal this routine was starting to feel for the family. She never imagined having to schedule things around chemo treatments, but for the past nine months, that had been exactly what she did.

Freddie had gone in yesterday for the procedure, but seeing as he had to go through several blood tests and other processes today, the doctors agreed that it would be easiest for him to just stay instead of having him waste energy going back and forth.

By the time Sam arrived at the hospital, she realized Freddie's tests had probably already started, and she cursed under her breath as she hurried inside.

"Hey, sorry I'm late, baby," Sam said as she rushed into Freddie's room.

"It's alright," Freddie replied. "They started the blood tests a few hours ago since I was up early."

"How'd you sleep last night?" Sam asked, giving him a quick kiss, tasting the various medications on his lips.

"Pretty well, actually," Freddie said. "Considering it was a chemo night. How are the kids?"

"They're good," Sam replied. "So do you think they'll let you come home tonight?"
"I hope so," Freddie yawned. "I feel alright, so I don't see why they'd-"

"Morning, Mr. and Mrs. Benson," one of Freddie's doctors said, coming into the room. "I'm glad you're both here."

"How's he doing?" Sam asked. "Can he come home today?"

"He can," the doctor smiled. "Course that's not what I'm here to tell you. Mr. Benson, we had a chance to review your last few blood tests. Based on them and our other examinations, it looks we can finally go ahead and officially declare you to be in remission."

Freddie's eyes widened. "You-I-You mean I-I'm better?"

"He's going to be okay?" Sam asked quietly, hardly daring to believe what she was hearing.

"Well, remission doesn't mean cured," the doctor said quickly. "It means that all symptoms and evidence of the disease have gone. The tumor growing on your lymph nodes is no longer posing a threat to you, and our tests are showing that no signs of cancer cells in your body are appearing. We are still going to need to keep you under strict supervision to look for a possible relapse, but this is definitely something we want to see."

Sam felt as if the entire hospital had gone silent. Was she dreaming? Or had something finally gone her way?

"I-Wow," Freddie whispered, looking beyond shocked himself at this news. "I-I don't know what to say. So-So I don't have to go through anymore chemo or treatments or-"

"I hope not," the doctor told him.

"Oh my God…" Sam said, squeezing Freddie's hand. "Freddie…this-this is fantastic! This-This is a miracle! You-You're finally-You're not-You-"

"I know…" Freddie said, a smile slowly creeping onto his thin, cracked face. He struggled sit up and used every ounce of energy he had to put his arms around his wife.

"I'll go get your discharge papers," the doctor said. "I'll give you two a moment…"

"You're going to be okay," Sam whispered, burying her face in his shoulder as she continued to hug him. "Freddie, this-this is the best news I've ever heard!"

"Thank God," Freddie said heavily. "I still can't believe-Sam, baby, thank you."

"Don't thank me, I'm not what cured you-"

"Sam, if it wasn't for you and the kids, I-I would've given up a long time ago," Freddie told her. "I'm serious."

He reached up and wiped the corner of Sam's eyes, where tears were now falling freely. But for once, they weren't tears of hopelessness or exhaustion. They were tears of joy.

"Thank you for not giving up," Sam whispered. "Thank you for fighting. I-I really don't know what I would've done without you, Freddie. I need you."

She reached for his hand again, tracing small circles around his knuckles.

"Well, I think I've demonstrated how much I need you too," Freddie replied, giving her a small chuckle.

Sam laughed. "Think maybe this is what they meant when they said marriage was a union?"

Freddie nodded. "I think this is exactly what they mean."