Disclaimer: I do not own the rights, or the lefts to Devil May Cry. Capcom does.
Have you ever wondered what it was like when Vergil and Dante were children? I have decided to do a series of short stories that will answer those questions. When I run out of ideas I may ask for prompts, so be prepared. No rating okay for everyone. May have mild swearing nothing harsher than damn or hell. I use the Dante and Vergil from DMC 3.
Every Mothers Nightmare
STORY ONE:
I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU!
Eva had had enough. She loved her boys she really did, but there were times that they drove her to distraction. Like today. Every time she turned around they were arguing about something, breaking something, or playing the most annoying game ever, and this was coming from a woman who had seven older brothers.
And it started again.
Dante held his finger a scant 1/32nd of an inch away from his twin's nose, and said those four words that every parent hates to hear, "I'm not touching you." Which was repeated at least half a million times until the inevitable KERSMACK! Of Vergil having enough and laying the smacketh down on his twin.
The KERSMACK was inevitably followed by, "MOOOOM! I wasn't touching him." What could she do? She had tried to explain to Dante that even though he wasn't touching Vergil, when Vergil got irritated enough and hauled off and smacked him, that it wasn't worth it.
She didn't have a chance to intervene, because when she walked into living room it was total devastation. It looked like a hurricane, tornado, earthquake, and any other natural and unnatural disaster had hit her normally clean living room. Vergil had Dante around the neck and was getting ready to slam his head into the floor the entire time he was chanting, "I'm not touching you. I'm not touching you. I…"
"…Have had enough!" Eva shouted over the din. "I have told your father 837 times that something needs to be done to curtail this abundance of excess energy and he doesn't listen to me."
Then she started to pace back and forth, muttering to herself and out loud, "Let them go outside and play… 'Oh no they might get hurt.' Let them go to the youth center. 'Oh, we can't do that someone else might get hurt.' Let them do something that does not involve yanking my hair out by the roots. 'Now Eva honey you know they are not that bad.'." The entire time she was swinging the cast iron skillet that she had taken out to start dinner in back and forth.
It was this scene that Sparda walked in on and said those oh so inevitable words that made Eva happy that she had a bottle of her daddy's moonshine on hand, because right now she needed it. Most women had Calgon moments, she had White Lightening moments. "Eva honey what happened? Why is the living room such a mess? And why are you talking to yourself?"
If she would have had her guns she would have shot him. Dead, buried, no longer in existence. She stopped pacing, turned around and gave him a look that could freeze hell, stomped over to him and lambasted him up the side of the head with the skillet and snarled, "I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU!"
Dropped the skillet pounded up the stairs to their bedroom, entered the master bath and started to fill the tub. She did have Calgon and right now she needed it along with a couple of gallons, make that shots of her daddy's special recipe. Striping off her clothes she eased her body into the tub only to hear the door knob rattle.
"If you open that door, I will feed you to the gators." Eva said loud enough to be heard. The noise stopped and quickly disappeared.
When she went downstairs two hours later, she had a plan. This time she was going to get her own way come hell, highwater and the threat of her daddy.
The living room was in even worse shape. There were feathers everywhere from where pillows had exploded open during what could only be construed as a pillow war. Not a fight just an out and out war. She bit back that scream of rage but When she walked into the kitchen she couldn't contain it anymore, "That is it. They go to the priest or to my father."
