First of all I'm sorry for the wait. I know you've all been wanting this chapter but I didn't know what to write about. I thought about doing Elliot POV on what happened but I wasn't feeling it. I wrote this chapter different ways but then decided you've waited enough. I'm glad you all like the last chapter it was my favorite to write. It's easy to write sad hints when you're having a bad day. Im sorry to everyone for killing off Elliot.

"Lina?" Virginia asks walking into the room. I must have fallen asleep again. Christian wakes up from the chair across from me wincing at the pain from his arm. He was one of the unlucky ones that was shot but his was in the arm and it was a through and through. He had the bullet removed hours before I arrived.

"Yeah sorry I must be tired from the plane. What is it?" I look at Elliot who's still laying unmoving in the hospital bed in front of me. I haven't let his hand go. I guess even unconscious, I feel as if I let go then I'll lose him. I can't lose him.

"He's hungry. I would give him the breast milk but he already finished it Lina. I'm sorry I know you need to be with Elliot but he's hungry." My sister says looking afraid. Without another word I take my baby who is fussing on the verge of crying from my sister's hands. She sets the diaper bag on the table next to the couch across from the bed. It's really an extravagant room, I'm assuming it's Christian's doing. I'm not complaining though because when they finally decide on calling everyone to let them know what's going on everyone will rush here. Besides Virginia no one knows. I disobeyed orders and told her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize how late it was." I move my hair ready to feed him when I remember Christian is still here.

"I think I'll call everyone now. There isn't much more to do. Do you need anything Lina?" He walks toward the door cautiously. For Elliot to wake up, I think to myself. Instead I shake my head.

My poor baby must have been starving because he's sucking like his life depends on it, which it does but I shouldn't have forget about his feedings.

"Lina, what happened?" Virginia asks me sitting across from me. Truth is I dont really know. I mean they told me but my mind feels cloudy or foggy. I close my eyes taking a shaky breath. "I'm sorry Lina you don't have to tell me. I just, I don't know what to do." She bites her trembling lip.

"Someone wanted to come after Isabelle and do somethings to her. They said something about how they found him and he had people in case something like that were to happen. There was some shooting Christian in his arm, Elliot in his abdomen and his side."

"He had surgery?" She asks skeptically.

"Yea for the bullet in his abdomen. The other one was removed but the abdomen one was tricky."

"But he's okay?" She asks like she needs to know.

"I don't know. He hasn't woken up." I look at him hoping that some miracle happens. "Where's Isabelle?" I ask suddenly.

"She sleeping in the car with some Reynolds guy." She hands me something from the bag to clean Evan up. "Have you told anyone about the wedding?"

"No. Elliot and I were going to do it together tomorrow. I guess we can't now." I'm afraid to tell them because if feel like if I do then I'll upset him. We should do it together. A doctor comes into the room just as I'm about to continue talking. They have to take him for some tests. But we at least get to stay in the room. I finish feeding Evan just in time for Christian to come back.

"Where is he? Carolina where the fuck is my brother?" Christian says yelling in a panic.

"He had to get some tests done. We can wait for him to come back." Says my sister.

"If he comes back." I didn't mean to say it out loud I'm just nervous.

"Lina he's gonna come back. He'll be fine and you shouldn't be so negative." She lectures me.

"You don't know that. He could die. There a very real possibility that he could die. That doesn't mean I want that to happen because you know I don't but he could die. And then what. What the fuck am I suppose to do with all this false hope? That I spent his last moments fantasizing about how he'll wake up and we can walk out of here freaking happy. What do you expect me to do?" I snap at her.

"He loves you Lina. He'll get through this. You just have to hope for the best." She says weakly.

"I did that okay? I did that with Damien and you know what happened?"

"Yes."

"He died. He died right in front of me now you weren't there so you didn't see his bloody face or his body. You didn't see what I saw. And you weren't the one who held her baby for an hour waiting for her to die as doctors and everyone just watched. I had hope then and look what happened after. I want him to live but I can't have hope when all I can think about is the fact that things don't turn into happily ever after for me. He could die! And then what? What about me when he dies? Do you think I can do this again? Because I sure as he'll don't know what happens then. Is that what I'll be. The girl who's bound to be a widow forever. Is at fair? It's not fair." I take a breath calming Evan. I startled him. I didn't want to though. I don't know what's going on with me I just want him to live but I keep remembering that fucking dream. It's like it's haunting me.

"Christian!" Grace looks at me. I guess everyone saw that. Now I feel like that crazy girl that everyone has to watch for. Grace looks at me like she wants to say something but her biggest concern is Elliot.

"Is this Mr. Grey's family?" Asks the doctor. Christian had some hotshot doctor flown in for Elliot so he didn't know anyone. I saw him briefly but he left just as I was going in. We all answer yes. "I'm going to need consent for surgery. Mr. Grey has some internal bleeding. We have to preform exploratory surgery to identify the source and stop the bleeding." He says handing a clipboard to Christian. He signs it immediately and just like that walks away. Another surgery? That's his third. Is it even safe?

By some miracle Evan had fallen asleep in the few minute window that it took for me to shut up and for the doctor to leave. He looked so peaceful. Before I found out about Elliot's condition that's how I felt, completely at peace with everything. Now it like my life was going through hell. The only thing that made sense were the kids. I knew that they were safe. Suddenly it's like I was in one of those big family movies where they are having dinner and even though they are talking, they are yelling so you're not very sure if they like each other or not. The family, the one here at the hospital wasn't really yelling but they were talking loudly or else the other person wouldn't hear. It's annoying honestly. I noticed Evan shifting in my arms. He should get to sleep not be disturbed.

"Can you all just ...shut up. Or yell somewhere else, Evan is sleeping." I said loudly. I don't know why I'm so mad at them. I'm just mad at everything really.

"Little girl why don't I take him off you hands for a bit. You can go home, I'll make you some tea sweetheart." I'm tired. I was sleeping on the chair just now but I need to sleep. I've been stressed and I just have to get better or else I won't be able to deal with anything.

"I can do it. I didn't mean to yell. I'm sorry. I'm just going to wait for him to get out of surgery."

"Why don't we go out to dinner. I'm sure Isabelle is hungry." She probably is. We went to a small restaurant down to he street. I didn't want to stay far from the hospital. Besides Isabelle I didn't really talk to anyone they made me nervous about being here. It's like they were all watching me waiting for something to happen to me, a moment when I would snap.

He was in surgery for about four hours until we saw the doctor again. I was crying even before he told us what happened, not because his face said it all but because either way it was a situation that was testing my limits of sanity.

"He's fine. We found the source and it's fixed." He went on about how he'll be fine and some other nonsense but I was waiting for was the part where I could see him. I needed to see him. They led me back to his room when he was still sleeping before closing the door. It was selfish of me to forget everyone outside who has been so supportive but I needed to be with Elliot. He didn't look much different then when they took him away a few hours ago.

I was looking at his monitor waiting for whatever happened in my dream to happen again. In a second I looked away to find his eyes twitching but really he was opening his eyes. I stood up to look at him better because if this is some joke from god or whatever it is a cruel joke that I don't find funny at all. But it wasn't. Soon enough I was looking in to his eyes but he shuts them tightly. I let his hand go for a second to dim the lights in the room.

"Elliot?" He won't answer but that doesn't mean that I can't try. "Elliot?" Please wake up.

"Hi." He says groggily. As if it's the most amazing thing ever I smile at him as he slowly opens his eyes. It really is amazing though. I didn't think he would.

"Hi." My voice is a mess. He's looking at me but he looks in pain.

"Hi." He repeats.

"Hi." Because I don't know what else to say. But then it hits me that he might need something. "Can I get you anything?" I offer ready to do anything just so he stays awake.

"Water." I help him drink through a straw but I must look like an idiot smiling as I do such a simple task.

"I have to get the nurse. Stay okay? Stay with me. You can't sleep yet please. Just for a minute stay awake for me." I kiss his hand because that's the only place that looks safe to move on his body. He nods looking at me like I'm crazy.

I get the nurse and she and a different doctor check on Elliot while I stand far away in the corner. He's fine. They tell him the surgery went well but his face shows that he has no idea what's going on. And he doesn't seem to remember much but they say that's to be expected many patients don't remember. Once they leave I stay in the corner.

"Come here." He says to me.

I shake my head looking at the floor. "I have to go ...tell your parents. Grace is beside herself she wants to see you. I should go tell them you're okay." Even thought the truth is I want to do the opposite. I just want to curl up next to him but I don't want to hurt him.

"Baby." He says to me in that voice he uses with Isabelle. It's like he feels sorry for me.

"I'll be right back." Without another word I turn the corner and see Grace leaning on Carrick. "He's okay. He's awake. He okay." She and a few others walk past me to see him but I stay in place finally breathing. I felt like I was suffocating but finally being able to say that he is really going to be fine is a sense of relief. I lean forward the rush to the nearest trashcans throwing up my forced dinner.

"He's okay Lina. It's going to be fine." My siblings had apparently stayed behind and were the only ones to witness this. I nod my head.

"I thought... I thought he was going to die. I thought..." Noah crushed me into his chest resting his hands on my back.

"Hush. It's alright. He's stronger than you have him credit for little girl. Ain't got to worry about him. It's okay now." I couldn't help the tears that just rolled down my face so easily. I couldn't help it. After a few minutes when I finally regained composure, I walked with them back to his room. I don't know what they were takin about and to be honest I couldn't even look at Elliot. It wasn't a bad thing I just wanted to know he's okay.

"Are you staying?"

"What?" I ask Grace. I didn't know they were talking to me.

"Are you staying the night with Elliot?"

"If Virginia can take the kids another night." My mom jumps in and offers to do it before anyone can respond. Everyone chuckles at how eager she is. She's almost as relieved as I am for Elliot being okay. As they say their goodbyes my brother and sister promise to be back in as hour with clothes for me and Elliot. I have to feed Evan again so they'll bring him back from Bellevue where he is being watched by Gail and Ann.

The silence between Elliot and I speaks volumes. I don't know what to say.

"Are you hungry?" I ask him.

"They're bringing something back." I nod my head. "Lina, come here." He says again. This time I step forward and fall on the chair closest to him.

"I love you." He cups my cheeks sweetly running his thumb over the skin.

"I love you too. I'm glad you're okay."

"If I could move I would ask you to get in bed with me. It's been too long." He says looking up at me. I'm standing next to him thinking about what is going on here. I put my fears aside and lean forward to kiss him. I catch him by surprise but he responds to me instantly. I tilt my head to get better access to his mouth even though there is only so much that can happen now. I just want to kiss him and be able to stay like this with him. Unfortunately someone clears their throat. I peck his lips one more time before backing away.

Virginia brought the kids so I can say goodbye because I'm not leaving Elliot tonight. Isabelle wasn't really into it because she was walking half asleep so she mostly nodded and tried to stay awake even though the minute she laid her head back on to he chair she fell asleep. My brother Noah was the one that brought all the things we would need but as soon as I told him I had to feed Evan he ran promising to be back in a few minutes. Once Evan was ready to be burped Elliot asked for him and I couldn't deny him this. I rested our baby on his chest then moved so that I could pump milk for the night. It's still strange to do this in front of Elliot but it doesn't bother him. Once I'm done I text Noah who was waiting outside. I kiss Elliot before walking out with my brother since he will have his hands busy with Isabelle.

"Thanks for taking them Noah."

"You don't have to thank me. Anyone really, we do this cuz we're your family. I'm glad he's okay. He's ain't so bad not that I thought he was before today but I just think you should know we all really like him. He's good to you." I could say he almost looks embarrassed by admitting this to me. My brothers are very bad at showing love to us girls so when they say or do something nice for us it seems like a huge deal.

Once I'm back in Elliot's room I set up our late night dinner just before he has to sleep. My cot is ready in the corner of the room so we just have to eat.

I'm staring at him. I should stop and just worry about my own food but I m just looking at him.

"Lina." I jump in my seat startled by his voice.

"Sorry. Just been a weird day that's all." I grab the remote from the tv and turn it on to watch some comedy shows.

"So I was told you haven't left the hospital since you got here." I just shrug my shoulders.

"I couldn't leave until I knew you were okay. I'm you're wife, I have a right to worry about my husbands well being which is more important than going home." I tell him.

"Well wife, can you please close the blinds, turn off the lights and get in bed with me so we can watch some tv."

"I'll do everything except get in bed. I will sit next to you. Until you're in a bigger bed I'm not going to lay with you. But I do love you dear husband." I place a soft kiss on his lips but I'm surprised when he pulls me forward and I land on his side with more weight than I should have making him wince. I see his pain and step away covering my mouth. That's the last thing I need to have him back in surgery because of me. "I'm sorry. I'll get the nurse." He holds my hand preventing me from leaving.

"It's gonna pass stay here." He says even though he's clearly in pain.

"Please let me get a nurse. Just to be sure." He looks at me confused then drops my hand. He's fine though I'm just overly worried. Once we're alone again I sit on the edge of his bed.

"Lina. I'm okay. Everything's fine baby." Despite what I said earlier I move so I'm on the bed with him resting my head on his shoulder. I might be on the edge and about to fall off but this is better than that chair.

"I didn't imagine our first week married would be like this. Not that this is bad but I'm sure we could have thought of better more romantic honeymoon places." He chuckles for a second before wincing from pain I assume.

"We can have a late honeymoon in a few months. Just sleep Baby I'm sure you're tired." I'm not sure what happened after that but I'm assuming I feel asleep because I was women up the next morning by the familiar giggling of Isabelle. As quietly as possible I got off the bed to hug her making sure she stayed quiet.

"Morning. You don't have to stay. They can stay for a few hours. Go shopping or something. Really you've done so much."

"This is your way of getting rid of me isn't it. You just want some alone time with your family?" Virginia says handing me a sleeping Evan. I'm surprised he isn't fussing he usually does this time in the mornings.

"Kind of. But I know you like to go out. Taking care of my kids isn't your idea of a good time."

"Ok. She ate breakfast before we came. I'll come back in a few hours. If you need anything just call me or mama. I had to kidnap the kids she wouldn't leave them alone. Laters Lina." She walks out of the room quietly closing the door behind her.

"Did you have fun with my mommy?" I ask her when she's sitting on the couch of the room coloring in her book.

"She was nice. She made me turkey cookies that taste like the ones you make. And we had turkey because we didn't have a thanksgiving. Am I gonna go to school again? I wish I could go back and see my friends." She says without looking at me.

"We can have thanks giving in a few days baby. For now we have to worry about daddy. But you know maybe you can go back to your school when daddy can go home." She looks at me excited. I have to remind her to keep quiet because I could tell from her face that she was about to start her little shrieking thing she does.

"No New York?" She asks clamping her hands together. I shake my head she starts jumping up and down as quietly as possible but it's still manages to wake Evan who starts whimpering which in turn wakes Elliot.

Things went well concerning Elliot's health after that. When he was released from the hospital a few weeks later I can tell I was getting on his nerves with my constant "are you okay? do you need something? You should be resting" lectures but he was not having it. He went so far as too ignore me for a few hours until I saw he was in pain and he hadn't taken his medication because the medicine was downstairs and it would take him at least twenty minutes to get it. The bright side of Elliot being home was that since he was confined to sitting he was constantly caring for Evan who was also limited in movement. That gave me time to run around the house and do errands around the house. I didn't mind it thought because if I wasn't then I would just be hovering over Elliot which would piss him off. He was trying very hard to be patient though.

It wasn't until the third day he got home that I learned what really happened that night. Turns out the people who were shot were Elliot, Christian, someone with Rick, and Cindy who was the girl that told Reynolds about Rick. Cindy was found practically beaten to death but managed to stay alive and call for help. From what they say Ryan has been with her since she got out of surgery.

I was raised not to be an evil person. I grew up going to church with my family when I was little. And although I don't attend mass much anymore I still believe in some morals taught by the church. So for me to be glad that some one has died is practically going against everything I have ever believed in. But when you become a mother things change. And my priority is my daughter. So I am glad he can't hurt her yet I didn't want him dead. In jail yes but I can't wish someone dead. Not even a sick man like Rick. Once they could get his finger prints they were able to tie him to the burning of Elliot's house and the murder back in my office based on partial prints that had been left behind.

Cindy wasn't the only girl who worked for him. Once they all found out they fled so no one could catch them. Christian wanted to help them. When I talked to Ana she said it had something to do with redeeming himself for Stephanie and his birth mom. He was helping one girl. He and Ana decided to pay for housing, schooling and counseling for the girl. I say girl because she was only 17 years old her birthday was in January. They weren't adopting her but they wanted to give her a chance to be more than an object used for sex. I only met her once in the month following the "hospital stay" which is what we are referring the shooting incident as.

Elliot was worried about me. I've become distant physically and never went farther than a touch of the lips. He was still recovering. He had major surgery, twice. He's hinted at us having sex in some form but I'm just not into it right now. We do do stuff together but it's never intimately us.

"Where were you?" Elliot asks as I walk back to our room. I had another dinghy are and fell asleep in the couch downstairs after checking on the kids.

"I fell asleep on the couch." I say quietly. He oats the space next to him and I get on the bed facing him.

"I want another baby." What? I look at him but he's serious. Is he crazy. We can't have another baby. The one we have now isn't even six months old. No. "I'm kidding. I just wanted to get tour attention. You've been so out of it lately. What's going on?"

"I thought you were going to die." I admit.

"But I didn't."

"You can't do shit like that. Put yourself in danger, that can't happen. What am I suppose to do without you El? I now you're okay now, I see that but I was so scared of losing you baby." I relax my shoulder a minute before letting the stress take over. I don't know what snapped. Maybe it was that I said it out loud to him but I can't stop crying. I'm relieved and mad at him for scaring me the way he did. I feel his hand pull me toward his body and I go willingly sobbing into his chest for what seems like forever.


Did you really think I could kill Elliot? Thanks for reading.