AN-Hey, sorry for the slight absence. I'm back up at school and it's been pretty hectic. Unfortunately, classes will be starting soon and I'll have almost no time to write. I'll try to update as much as I can, but it won't be nearly as frequent as it has been. This story is NOT DISCONTINUED though! So keep on sending in requests as you have them. I have a few oneshots for the next few days, though, so hopefully you all will enjoy those :)
Squad
"-And then my mom spent the rest of the afternoon trying to get me to take these weird vitamins she got at an aggressive parenting meeting," Freddie fumed. "They're supposed to make you less anxious to leave your mother's side!"
"I don't think those are real pills," Carly frowned.
"I swear, the woman gets crazier each year," Freddie sighed, collapsing down on the couch between Carly and Sam.
"Oh sure, you can say it," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "But when I point out your mom's insanity I'm being 'impolite'."
"That's because you say she's an unstable nut job that needs to take her sanitizer and-"
"Could we not repeat that again?" Carly asked. "Anyway, I wonder where Spencer is with dinner. I'm starving."
Right on cue, the apartment door burst open and Spencer came running in.
"You guys!" he yelled excitedly. "Tell me you don't have plans for tomorrow afternoon."
"Um, I-I don't think so," Carly frowned. "But why? What's-"
"We're gonna go paintballing!" Spencer exclaimed.
"Whoa, for real?" Sam gasped. "No way! Oh man, I love paintballing!"
"How come we're going paintballing?" Freddie asked.
"Because Socko's lending me his gear," Spencer said. "He wants me to test it out for him before the money back guarantee runs out this weekend. He has to go to Boston to help his cousin Stewart move into his new apartment. He just got a job up there as a flight attendant! So you in?"
"I dunno," Carly said slowly. "I'm really not into that kind of stuff."
"Oh come on, it sounds fun," Freddie smiled. "I'm in."
"And if the dork's gonna do it, surely you can," Sam told her.
"Well…alright," Carly said. "I guess I'm in too."
"Alright!" Spencer cheered. "I have enough gear for six people. I already told T-Bo about it, so just see if Gibby can join. With the whole squad together, we'll have ourselves the best paintball war ever! I know an empty field we can go to and everything."
"I can't wait, this is going to be insane!" Sam said anxiously. "I haven't been paintballing in years. I used to go all the time with my cousins, but then their parole officers started putting a whole bunch of restrictions on their recreational activities…What time are we going to play? The peak paintball hours are before eleven in the morning."
"You want to be up before noon?" Freddie smirked.
"For paintball? Shoosh yeah!" Sam snapped.
"T-Bo and I were thinking we could head out around ten," Spencer said. "That work for everybody? Yeah? Great!"
"What am I even supposed to wear for paintball?" Carly sighed.
"War clothes!" Sam beamed.
"They don't have a war clothes section at Glitter Gloss," Carly pointed out.
"Just wear something you wouldn't mind getting dirty," Spencer told her.
"Dirty?" Carly repeated. "We're getting dirty?"
"Well Carls, it's paintball," Freddie reasoned.
"Aw jeez," Carly moaned. "Spencer, I don't know if-"
"Too late! You already agreed!" he cried, quickly hurrying out of the room.
…
"Alright, here are the official paintball rules!" Spencer said the next morning as they six stood in the large, open field. "We're going to divide into teams of three. If someone hits you with a paintball, you're out and have to go wait by the van. You can only make body shots, and you can't shoot anybody within six feet of you."
"How come?" Gibby asked.
"Because that's how you bruise!" T-Bo snapped. "Some of us have delicate skin!"
"Can we also clarify that the only weapons that are to be used during the game are the paintball guns?" Carly said, glaring at Sam.
"What?" Sam asked innocently.
"Empty your pockets!" Carly ordered.
"But I-"
"Empty them!"
"Fine," Sam mumbled, reaching into her pockets and pulling out a pair of Numchucks, a slingshot, seven paperclips and a kazoo.
"What the heck were you gonna do with a kazoo?" Freddie frowned.
"I was going to shove it in your ear while I pelted your with paintballs, any more questions?"
"No, I'm good!"
"Alright, let's get our teams together and then we can start," Spencer said.
"How are we picking teams?" Carly asked. "Are we gonna pick captains or something?"
"Oh, I already put us on teams," Spencer said.
"How come you get to pick the teams?" Freddie asked.
"Because I'm the paintball boss!" Spencer exclaimed. "Alright, my team, the green team, will be me, Carly, and T-Bo. Sam, Freddie, and Gibby, you guys are the purple team. Now-"
"What? No way!" Sam cried. "I'm stuck with the nub and the freak show?"
"Which one am I?" Gibby whispered to Freddie.
"How come I get stuck with these two?" Sam moaned.
"Hey, we got Carly!" T-Bo pointed out.
"Hey!" Carly frowned.
"Look, I needed to balance the teams out," Spencer defended. "You're the best player, which means you get two of the three chumps."
"We're chumps?" Freddie said indignantly.
"Okay, okay, whatever," Sam groaned.
"We'll each have ten minutes to put together a battle plan, then the battle begins!" Spencer said loudly. "Ready…begin!"
"Come on, let's get out of here so we can figure out our attack mechanism," Sam said, grabbing Gibby and Freddie's wrists and pulling them over towards a large bush.
"Alright, well, I think we need really utilize all the space we have out here," Freddie began. "Maybe we can-"
"Dude, this isn't some lame school project," Sam cut him off. "This is war; this is my domain. So I'm in charge."
"But I just think-"
"Can it," Sam hissed. "Okay, so when our ten minutes is up, we're just going to ambush them. We'll run out with our guns out and just start firing. We'll be bound to hit them, and we'll have them all hit before they can even reach for their guns. Any questions?"
"I have one," Gibby said. "What do we do if we have to go to the bathroom in the middle of the ambush?"
"Alright, that's it," Sam said, quickly reaching for her gun and firing a paintball right at Gibby's shin. "You're hit, you're dead. Now go wait by the van."
"Aw man!" Gibby said, getting to his feet. "How come whenever I'm on a team, my teammates want to kill me?"
"Sam, what did you do that for? Now we just have the two of us!" Freddie said.
"If I had to deal with much more Gibby I was going to surrender," Sam said. "Besides, you really think he was gonna be much help anyway? He was just going to slow us down. You keep up the blabbing and you'll be next. So…when we attack, you just focus on Carly. She'll be the easiest to take down. Aim for her shoes and she'll surrender herself. I'll handle Spencer and T-Bo; they're going to be the problems. Neither of them are too skilled, but they play a lot of videogames, so you can't count out their aims. I'm thinking I can just take care of them with a one-two shot. Or maybe-"
But just then the timer on her phone went off.
"It's time!" Sam gasped, quickly getting to her feet. "Now just follow me and stay alert! They can be anywhere…"
"Well then maybe we should wait for them to come to us," Freddie suggested.
"Oh, like a couple of whimps?" Sam scoffed. "No! We're going to march into battle like a couple of-"
"Duck!" Freddie cried, quickly grabbing Sam's hand and yanking her down to the grab with him just as a green paintball went soaring over their heads and hit the nearby tree.
"Where'd they go?" Sam asked frantically, spinning around. "Where'd it come from?"
"Those bushes over there," Freddie whispered.
"Aw chiz," Sam moaned. "They're quicker than I thought…alright, let's just try sneaking away from the right and-"
But just then another paintball shot out from that direction and nearly hit Freddie in the shoulder.
"What? They surrounded us!" Sam frowned. "Or at least Spencer and T-Bo have…there's no way one of those shots came from Carly…"
Just then a third paintball came sailing out from behind the two and hit a tree about twenty feet away from them.
"That's Carly," Freddie said. "Look, we've got to get out here before we get hit! It takes a few seconds for the trigger to unlock after you take a shot with these things, so I say we wait for the next shots and then we make a break for it into that clearing over there."
"You do not get to give the orders here!" Sam snapped. "This isn't some quest on War of Warlords!"
"Well then what would you like us to do?" Freddie asked, rolling his eyes.
Sam looked down at her shoes. "We should wait until Spencer and T-Bo take their next shots and then make a run for it."
"So…my idea."
"Just shut it!" Sam hissed just as two paintballs came shooting out at them again, narrowly missing the two teens. "Now go!"
They ran as fast as they could towards the clearing. Sam aimed a shot into the bushes and heard T-Bo cry out.
"You got someone?" Freddie asked, panting for breath as the two ducked behind a conveniently placed boulder.
"Yeah, T-Bo. It's just Spencer and Carly left," Sam nodded. "But Spencer's really good…you remember how long he lasted in that assassins game. Getting him is going to be tricky. Maybe if I can figure out where he is I can sneak up on him and-"
"You can't sneak up on anybody out here," Freddie said. "There are so many twigs and dead leaves on the ground, you'd give yourself away and get shot in no time. I think…okay, I'm not trying to 'give orders', but I think our best bet at winning here would be to lead Spencer and Carly back out to the open field where we started. With your aim, you should be able to take them out easy."
Sam sighed. "Well…not that I'm listening to you…because I'm the one in charge here, but-but that does sound like a good idea so…alright, let's do it."
"They're probably looking for us now," Freddie whispered. "So when I countdown, I'll fire a paintball to give our location and then we run out. They'll follow us, and then we'll start this showdown."
Sam nodded. "Whenever you're ready."
"Alright. In five, four, three, two…" he fired his gun at a nearby tree.
"There they are!" Spencer called out from somewhere in the distance. "After them!"
"Run!" Freddie exclaimed, and the two bolted out and raced back to the open area where they had all spotted.
"Get ready to shoot!" Freddie said, holding up his own gun as he looked around. "They should be here in just a few-"
"Ah-ha!" Spencer said, coming out from the woods with Carly at his heels. "Well, well, well, what do we have here? You smell that in the air Carly?"
"The smell of dirt?" Carly frowned.
"No! It's the smell of victory!" Spencer snapped. "Our victory."
He aimed a shot at Sam, who quickly ducked down and avoided the hit. She then retaliated by aiming a shot at his torso, but he jumped out of the way just in time.
"Dang it, his aim's better than before," Sam mumbled. "For a middle-aged, unemployed, single freak, he's really good at this."
Carly now raised her own gun and tried to aim a shot at Freddie, but the gun wound up slipping and the paintball hit her shoe.
"Aw no!" Carly exclaimed. "My sneakers! I just got these!"
"She's out!" Sam yelled. "Back to the van, Carly!"
"I hate this game!" Carly muttered darkly as she turned and headed off, leaving Spencer alone against Sam and Freddie.
"That's okay, I can take you two on my own!" Spencer said, aiming a shot at Freddie, who managed to dodge it at the last second. "I went to law school!"
"Sam, look at his stance," Freddie whispered as Sam attempted to hit him again, only to have him jump out of the way. "He's leaning towards left."
"So what?" Sam snapped. "Just try and hit him! Don't analyze his posture!"
"But Sam, look!" Freddie said. "He's putting all his weight on his left foot. He must've hurt his right ankle or something back there in the woods. That means if we take a shot that's coming in from the right, he'll have a harder time jumping out of the way!"
"Whoa, you-you're right!" Sam said, narrowly avoiding the paintball that came soaring at her. "Okay, well…let's both take a shot then. He'll have an even harder time avoiding two paintballs. You ready?"
"Ready," Freddie grinned, picking up his gun. "Now!"
The two shot their paintballs together, and the tiny, paint-filled pellets soared across the fieled towards Spencer.
Like Freddie had predicted, Spencer seemed to have a harder time jumping out of the way this time, and just as he was about to drop to the ground, the purple paintball that Freddie had fired collided with his chest.
A direct hit.
"You got him!" Sam exclaimed as Spencer let out a cry of fury. "Dude, you totally got him! We won!"
"Holy chiz, we did!" Freddie grinned. "Wow…guess this doof didn't slow you down too much then, huh?"
"Alright, don't let the win go to your head," Sam smirked. "Come on, let's go rub it in Spencer's face."
The two teens hurried over to the man, who was slowly sitting up.
"Well, well, well, " Sam said. "Once again you've come off the loser in a paintball war. How's it feel? I mean you only lasted five minutes longer than Carly."
"I want a rematch!" Spencer snapped.
"Fine," Sam shrugged. "We can go for beating you twice in one day. Go get the others and we'll regroup."
"Fine!" Spencer sneered.
"And bring snacks!" Sam called after him as he started off to the van.
"You know, that was actually a lot of fun," Freddie commented, looking down at his gun. "Of course I'll probably get a three hour lecture and tick bath from my mom tonight, but hey, totally worth it."
"Hey, um, you-you weren't half bad out there, you know," Sam said. "I was almost impressed. I didn't think you'd be too good at this, you know, because you're a nub and everything."
"I watch old war reenactments on the history channel all the time," Freddie shrugged modestly. "Guess I picked up some battle tips."
"Huh…maybe I should try watching those sometime," Sam said thoughtfully. "I do have a family reunion coming up in a few months. I could use some extra pointers."
"Well, next time one's on, I'll call you and you can come over and watch with me if you want," Freddie offered.
"Okay," Sam smiled. "That sounds good. But these reenactments better not be lame, Benson. Or I'll have to start using you for target practice again."
