So this is a huge time jump and somethings have happened. I originally did a few chapters in between but this will be a hard time for Elliot and Lina so I'm do some happy moments as flashbacks. I've had a busy few months which is why I haven't updated. Thanks to everyone who stuck by me. And thanks for reading.
EPOV
"Mom? What are you doing here?" I have an idea in my head as to why she's here but I'm secretly hoping I'm wrong. Because her being here can only mean one thing.
"Lina wasn't feeling well." I was right. This pregnancy isn't going well. Me being away for the first month didn't help with Lina's stress but I'm here now.
"Right. Has she eaten anything yet?" I drop my shoes in the hallway closet and help my mom as she picks up some of Evan's toys that are on the floor. What's the fucking point of having a play room for him if he takes everything out? That annoys the crap out of me.
"She was waiting for you. Isabelle is outside with your father running around. Evan is with Lina." Why is he with her. Usually when she's not feeling well I make sure the kids leave her alone. But I'm not here to make sure so I can't control them.
"Thanks mom. For everything."
"I do what I can dear. I know this pregnancy has taken a toll on both of you. Lina made dinner. It should be out of the oven in a few minutes. Would you like me to get her?" I shake my head and start moving upstairs.
"I got it mom. We'll be down in a few minutes."
A few months ago I could come home and see screaming children. Teddy and Evan would be running around, Isabelle with her friends, Lina talking to Mia and Andy, all sorts of shit but now this is the normal crap. I don't hate it because I know Lina can't help it but at the same time I miss it. I miss my fun crazy wife. This pregnancy isn't easy on her. I walk into our bed room where I see that she is reading a book to Evan. She looks up at me smiling but moves back to finish the book. I put my bag away and change into some sweats and a shirt because I know today is going to be a quiet night. I walk into the room just as she's finished. Evan jumps up tripping over Lina's legs to greet me. As stressful as having kids is, one of the best parts is being greeted like this every time I get home. Hell I walk the fucking dog for five minutes and it's like I've been gone for days.
"Daddy book."
"Mommy read you a book?" He unwraps his arms from my neck to show me the book.
"Fishy and hats. There lots fishy. Five. And this is lots George's." He's pointing to the page with pictures of dogs. He refers to all dogs as George.
"yeah lots of dogs."
"No George." He wrinkles his forehead just like his mom.
"Alright buddy you wanna go eat?"
"Yea sana!" I place him on the bed where he squirms until he gets off the bed.
"Sana?" I turn to look at Lina after he is out of my sight.
"Lasagna." I nod my head. She must still be feeling nauseous because her movements are slow and she's pale. I walk to her side then move so I kneel between her legs.
"Hey." I say when I see that she has circles under her eyes. Fuck she shouldn't be feeling this way still. She should be happy and running around making plans for the baby. Instead I see her losing weight and being stressed. She's on medication to help with the nauseous but it isn't doing much. If anything the side effects are making it worst. She can't keep food down and she has no energy. I love her and she's dying in front of me.
"Hi. How was the drive here?"
"Too long. I missed you. You said the nauseous was getting better."
"Believe it or not it has." She smiles as if that's suppose to make me feel better.
"Fuck baby. I don't know how to help you." I've had a few times over my life where I've felt useless but not like this. This shit has gotten completely out of control to the point where I don't know what is going on. I need to come home. I can't keep having her alone.
"Hey," she stands up placing her hand on my cheek. "I'll be okay. We just have wait it out. Just imagine how great it will be when we finally have our baby with us." That's six months from now. I don't think I can live six more months of this. Fuck I don't know how she'll even make it a month more of this. I smile weekly at her just hoping that she'll believe it and move on from this. I guess the only thing keeping me from going crazy is the fact that I'll be home from now on starting next week.
"I hope you're hungry." I tell her as she sits slowly on my right. Isabelle runs quickly sitting next to Lina before Evan. They've started to feel territorial over her now that she's pregnant.
"I'm always hungry I just can't seem to keep anything down." As if somehow that's suppose to make me feel better, the fact that she can't stomach it. Regardless, I laugh because I know she doesn't want to put a downer on me being home.
My parents are in front of us and they are trying to make conversation. I told Lina that I won't be done in Portland for a few weeks but that's a lie. I just want to surprise her when I come home for good.
I never noticed how good Lina is at making it look like she has eaten. She has cut up all her food and when I look at her she moves it around. She sticks the fork between her lips pretending to taste it but nothing is being eaten. When she noticed I was watching her she just took a bite but that didn't even end well.
"I got it mom." I follow Lina as she walks to the bathroom before Isabelle has a chance to ask questions as to why she's leaving the table. I see the door close but she locks it before I can get in. This is fucking frustrating. "Baby?" I hear her throwing up inside. I move the doorknob but she isn't going to open it. I feel entirely helpless just standing outside. But what would be the fucking point of her opening the door, nothing I do would help her. I rest my forehead against the door frame just waiting for her to open the god damned door.
When the door does open I see her, really see her. Her shirt is hanging off her shoulders, her hair is up but mostly because I know she hasn't brushed her hair all day. Her cheekbones are sticking out much more than they should have. Her breasts are much smaller than normal. Not that all I notice about her are her breasts but it's because I noticed this so often. That is the one part of her body that always look at. I'm pretty stunned so I don't know what to say to her.
"I'm okay just the smell sets me off." I nod my head.
"Maybe you should go to a doctor?" I suggest when she is sitting next to me quietly.
"I'm fine El. Just give it a few more days and I'll be fine."
Later that night as my parents said their goodbyes for the night I had a candid moment with my mother finally about what is going on with Lina and the kids while I've been away.
"She isn't well Elliot. She tries to act as if she isn't feeling as bad as she shows but it's getting more exhausting for her as days go by. I've tried to talk to her but she's stubborn. Talk to her. She needs to see a doctor or she will end up resenting herself." In other words she will lose the baby. We can't have that. She's had too many miscarriages already and getting pregnant was not easy for her in the first place, for us. I was ready to quit when she finally turned out pregnant but then all this shit happened.
"Just one more week." I remind her walking to the car where my father is waiting.
"Does she know yet?" My mother starts touching my cheek like she used to.
"No we have the opening dinner for next week and I was going to tell her then. She thinks it's not for another month." I'm thinking it will be a nice surprise for her but this week will be stressful knowing that being with her is so close but still a week away.
"She'll love having you every day again. She's missed you dear. I should go. I'll see the kids this Friday for when she meets you in Portland. And congratulations on your job. I know how much you love it and we are so proud of you."
I walk back inside my house to find my beautiful wife laying in the living room. Without asking I remove the pillows on the back of the couch to jump in behind her. She giggles softly at my exaggerated groans. I place my hands on her stomach but I let them wonder knowing that nothing can happen. Fuck, I'm too scared to let anything happen.
"Your daughter will be walking down in a few minutes so we have to behave baby."
"You know me though, I love to live on the edge." She smiles that honest smile that tells me she's enjoying this and fuck is it amazing to know that she is loving this. Knowing that after all the shit I put her through she manages to love me is a damn miracle.
"Can I sit here daddy?" Isabelle walks to us dressed in her pajamas with her blanket. This kid is fucking adorable. It's hard to believe she's already eight. I've known these two woman for over three years only and I can't live without them. There would have been no better option.
The weekend continued on much like Friday. We were able to get Lina to eat some rice and we discovered she could eat plain pasta without getting sick so she ate that for three days. Everything else however made her throw up like crazy. She had headaches and her body felt weak. She couldn't keep water down so I bought as many drinks so we could find one that didn't make her feel like shit but by Sunday I found nothing. I looked for everything I could. I read books, asked my mom, used the internet, and tried every other possibility I could think of but nothing was working. Not one fucking thing. That's what frustrated me more than anything. She was already small and I was adding to it. This goodbye was harder. I didn't want to leave her but it would only be four four days then she would be flying to Portland for the dinner and Saturday we would drive back with all my shit. Isabelle had taken notice of her mom being sick all the time. It came to a point when Isabelle stared beating me to getting to the bathroom to give Lina water. "I got it daddy." She would say to me. She had the water in hand with a mint and Lina's toothbrush. She shouldn't have to take care of her mom that way, that's my job.
Back in the day Fridays were my days. I used to go to a bar, pick up some girl to fuck her all night, I couldn't complain. This Friday I picked up my girl from the airport, there would hopefully be some fucking but if not then that's okay because at least I finally had her. I took her suitcase from her because honestly she looks exhausted.
"Hey baby, I have a surprise for you." She takes my free hand nodding. "Are you feeling okay baby?" She says she's tired but I don't see why when she was probably sleeping on the plane. I already have the condo I've been renting setup for a romantic dinner. The food will be pretty bland but I don't care as long as she has a good time.
We picked up groceries for tonight on the way home and we talked about tomorrow. She's always worried that she won't have anything to talk about with other people because she's from a small town, either that or how she doesn't like to talk about what I do because I should be explaining it to them. Something about how I'm better at explaining details, yet when she talks about it with her family she knows just as much.
"Do you not want to go?" I ask her while she's looking at me.
"I know you want me to go and I love supporting you so I'll go. Plus it gets us out of the house. We need time alone. We haven't had time for ourselves since we got pregnant." That's true. I don't know how it is that even though we see each other all the time we go days without sex or being alone. The kids are a handful and Evan has recently discovered that sleeping in our bed is a lot more comfortable than his so that's not helping. God and now there will be another baby to cock block.
"Well it's basically the owners of the building and a few major people who will be occupying the office. This man had a 20 floor building made just for his company. It's going to be a formal party which I hate not that you don't know that." She giggles lightly. Once we get to the condo she looks around pretty stunned that I turned this place into what it is now. I have candles lit around the windows and the city showing through the window.
"This is kind of amazing El." I walk forward and press my lips against hers. Her hands slide from my chest until they are at my face and she runs her thumbs over the shape of my ear. I tighten my hold on her waist and she moans into my mouth. I leave one hand in the small of her back and the other continues south until I'm grabbing her amazing ass making her moan again. That's all the invite I need. Just as I'm about to pick her up she steps back breathless and takes my hand. She leads me to my bedroom and stops at the edge of my bed when she drops my hand to reach the hem of her hoodie and remove it. I take mine off but close my eyes when I feel her fingers slowly touching the skin of my stomach. This really wasn't part of the plan. I thought she would be too tired for sex, but she wasn't. As soon as our clothes were off she pushed me on the bed and took complete control of the night. She really does drive me crazy a majority of the time.
I was expecting her to let me push her down so I can move she wouldn't let me. "Not tonight." I didn't know what she meant until I tried to roll us over and she resisted. "I want tonight my way baby. I'll make sure you get your release but tonight I'm on top. Tomorrow you call the shots baby." Her hot breathe washed over the wetness she left on my ear. Her teeth pull on the skin where my jaw and earlobe meet as her hands slide down my chest to my stomach her nails lightly scraping the skin. She aligns my dick with her entrance and pushes her body up so I have a clear view of her torso and every other part of her. I move her hair to the side and she slides down taking all of me in one swing. Holy fuck that feels good. She feels good too. I can tell from her eyes rolling to the back of her head. I sit up just enough to lick between her breasts and bury my face there as she rides me moving up and down. I lightly pull on her nipple with my teeth and her hands move to the side of my head forcing me to take more skin between my teeth. She tastes salty and sweet, like Lina. My wife has a certain taste that I can't describe but it's good.
I move a hand between us and massage her clitoris and she stops all movement. "Of god Elliot." She moans as she losses control and reaches her orgasm without warning. I must not have noticed how close she was. "Damn Elliot. I had no warning there." I chuckle lightly as she talks into the crook of my shoulder. When she pulls back she grabs me giving me a sloppy wet kiss and her hips start moving again. I feel her start grinding herself into me faster than before. It feels good being inside her while she's wet like this, her body moving perfectly against mine. I must have lost control because next thing I know my hands are on her hips moving them so she's riding me even faster but she doesn't need me to because she pushes my hands to her breasts while she moves how I was directing her. Her hand is on her clit now and her face is what makes me lose it. I feel my dick pulsing inside her wet core as she clenches her muscles so that she's even tighter than before and that is the last straw. I release inside her and move my hips meeting her thrusts until we both come down from our high.
"You okay?" I ask once I notice she hasn't moved since her body collapsed over mine. "Tired?"
"Tired." She says out of breath. Normally I would be proud of that but I don't need her to be too tired and have a negative effect on the baby.
"Lina you should have said something, I wouldn't have pushed this-"
"Good tired." She says silencing me by placing her hand over my mouth. "Let's just sleep now. I know you had plans but can we just get a rain check on those? All this exercise has me exhausted." She kisses my chest placing kisses until she reaches my mouth.
"Sure baby. Sleep. I have to make sure I don't burn this place down. I'll bring your bag inside." I gently move her body off mine to get up.
Tonight was a whole lot better than I expected it to be. Hopefully tomorrow will be the same.
There's no way Lina could have gained the weight back quickly but she did look good in the dress she was wearing. It was a short long sleeves dress with a low back. She looked sexy as fuck but still classy. She was hot.
The dinner was taking place in what would be an assembly room in the building. Apart from that I didn't know anything about the party but Mia did. Aside from the restaurant her and Christian want to open, she has taken on to party planning. I suggested her as a joke to one of the builders but he took her on. He's said that she knows what she's doing so I just hope he's right.
He was right. She did a pretty amazing job on it. I know she was around here some where but I haven't seen her or Luke. I wonder how their kid is doing. I haven't seen her or any of my other nephew in a few weeks.
Lina comes back from the bathroom slowly and I have to pull her aside to see if she's okay.
"Yes I'm fine baby."
"Do you want something to eat?" She shakes her head.
"Let's just go back Elliot. It will pass." She steps toward the crowd but stumbles so I grab her arm to balance her. "It's the shoes. They're not very comfortable." Ok that was bullshit. She loves these shoes, I know that because she wears them all the time. Regardless I place my hand on her waist and walk back to where everyone is.
We walk around talking to a few people and at first Lina tries to make conversation but as the night progresses she stops to slowly becoming less animated as the seconds tick by.
"I'll be right back baby." She says as she walks away slowly. If this old man could stop talking I could go after her but he signs my paycheck so I have to suffer though it.
After a while of socializing we have a dinner and a presentation so we all take our seats but I haven't seen Lina and that worries me. After a few minutes I understand she might be busy talking to someone. After half an hour I get a little mad that she hasn't come. I text her but she doesn't reply. I call but it goes to voice mail. After an hour and the presenting is almost over is when I worry. She wouldn't just leave would she. We were fine I don't see why she would leave. As the mingling and dinner start again I realize that it's time to worry. I make some excuse about how I have to call and check on the kids to get out.
I check garden and the first few floors with no luck. She's not answering either so I'm at a loss. I go to the kitchen were the catering company is set up but they haven't seen her. Where the hell would she go? Maybe she went back. I know in my mind that's not true but I have to check anyway. As I walk down using the stairs I finally fucking see her. She sitting on the edge of the stairs her back toward me. She's just sitting there.
"Lina I've been calling you. Where have you been?" I get to the final stair and stand in front of her. Hell she must be freezing, her legs have goosebumps. "Lina? Baby?"
Her head is leaning on the wall but her eyes are closed. I get on her level and shake her slightly. I shake her with more force and that's when I notice her body is limp. I cup her chin tilting it so she might look at me. "Come on baby wake up." Fuck she isn't moving. Why the fuck isn't she moving. I move my hand down so that it's on her pulse point. She has to have a heart beat right? She only was gone for an hour. I feel the small vibration of her breathing but she doesn't move. Damn it why isn't she moving. "Lina say something please." I see her eyelids move just enough so she can look at me but they close again. "I'm right here baby."
"Sorry." She mumbles lightly. I must be an idiot for smiling when she's feeling so shitty but I'm just glad she's alive.
"For what baby? You didn't do anything wrong."
"I left." She says opening her eyes briefly.
"Don't worry about it they'll understand. It's over anyway. What do you need baby?" She stays still for a minute when I ask again.
"Sleep." Alright I can do that. We just go home and she'll be ok. I put my hand under her knee and start to stand when she stops me.
"Lina please let me help baby. You can't even stand much less walk." She is trying to resist but her arms are weak and movements are clumsy. I lift her head until she looks at me directly. "Please Lina. I need to do something. I can't... Can't just leave you. Baby, I... Let me help..." She's so stubborn. Why won't she just let me help her? Can't she fucking see I need to take care of her.
"I'm okay." Bullshit. "Don't want people to see." I don't give a fuck what people think. But I know she does. I carry her to the back where I find a waiter from the catering company. I hand him my valet ticket so he can get me my car. I text Luke asking him to take my and Lina's things with them. I don't want to tell them what's going on until I know myself.
"Is she okay sir?" Asks the waiter.
"I don't know." I say as I buckle her in the car. Fuck she can't even move. Why isn't she moving?
"Why don't I get you a water and a washcloth." I nod my head. I don't see how good that will do but I'm desperate for anything now. As he's gone I stand looking at her crawl into a ball. I don't even have a fucking blanket for her. I give her my suit jacket and watch as her fingers weakly move to grab it. I turn on the heater so the warm air will feel good on her skin. I check the trunk for one of Evan's blanket and thank fuck there is one in here. I use it to cover her legs and she opens her eyes to look at me.
"Love you." She says looking at me. I press my lips against her forehead and she relaxes her head. Once the kid comes back I press the wash cloth on her head and sit in the drivers seat for a minute deciding what to do. I love her but this... I don't know what to fucking do about this shit.
In the end I drove us back to home and I carried her upstairs. Once I got her inside after she protested about how she was okay and didn't need to be carried but I don't give a fuck what people say at this point. I slowly undress her taking off her dress and shoes. Then her bra. Why didn't I notice this last night? Probably because I was too fucking occupied with my own pleasure to worry about her.
"Don't worry dear the kids are fine. They went to bed hours ago." I've always found it calming to hear my moms voice. Ever since the first time I met her I thought she was an angel. Later I discovered she must be a freaking saint to have out up with all my bullshit over the years. Lina's pretty patient too but she doesn't have me and Christian as children hopefully this next baby is a girl so she won't have to deal with anymore boys. One is enough.
"Good. Thanks mom."
"Don't worry about us dear, we are all just fine. Take care of that sweet girl of yours. She needs love too."
"Yea I know. I had a question about the pregnancy." I wait for her to say something but realize she's waiting for me to ask. "Is it normal for someone to faint or pass out?"
"Oh Elliot. Is Lina okay?" She sighs into the phone.
"I don't now mom I just... I don't know what to do. I wanted to take her to a hospital but you know her, she hates to be a bother."
"Just let her now she's not. O know you already do but just try to get her to see that. Especially now. And it is normal. Sometimes it's hard for a women's body to adjust to change. Being pregnant takes a toll on a woman's body. It's actually quite common to faint. Has she been eating?"
"As much as she can. Just rice honestly. She ate steak. Well some, but she at least kept it down I think."
"That's better. She will keep getting better I'm sure. Soon she'll be her old self."
"Yea I hope." I mumble into the phone.
"Don't do that Elliot stay positive."
"She could be dying in front of me mom what do I say to that? She could be killing herself all because we wanted another baby. Frankly I don't think it's worth it. She should just end this shit." I regret it the minute I say it. I specially regret it after I feel Lina's presence behind me.
"Elliot Grey! How could you say that. That's your child. I understand you are worried about your wife but that's your child. You both made the decision to have a baby. You had to see doctors for Christ's sake just to get pregnant."
"Mom I'm sorry I have to go."
"Is Lina okay?" She asks in a hurry.
"Yes. I'll call tomorrow."
I put the phone down and stand awkwardly. What do I say now. I can't really recover from the shit I just said.
"are the kids ok?"
"Yes I called to ask if there was something I could do."
"You've done enough. Said enough." She mumbles. Damn it why am I such a fucking idiot.
"Lina I didn't mean any of that. You have to know that baby." I watch her shoulders fall.
"You sounded pretty honest."
"I'm just frustrated. Not at you but at the situation. You're... Practically dying and all I can do is watch. What am I suppose to do?" She shrugs her shoulders. I can tell her eyes are watery all the way from here nap but I'm not in the position to hug her. I don't deserve to but fuck do I want to.
"I don't know. Be here for me. Just support me. We have two kids how could you not want this one. Evan wasn't even planned. Would you have had me abort him?"
"No I wanted Evan-"
"But you don't want this baby?"
"That's not what I meant." This is not how this weekend was suppose to go down.
"But we planned this pregnancy. We tried for months. We went to see doctors and bought a tests you wanted this just like I did. I don't get it. Why don't you want this baby?"
"I know we did. Evan was an accident and you're right I wanted this baby-"
"But you don't anymore."
"That's not what I said." Lies. I did say that but I want her to rest.
"You did though, I was here, I heard everything you said. You said I should end it." She points to the phone.
"With Evan I wanted him ok? I wanted a baby." She nods her head. I'm thinking of the best way to do damage control here and I'm freaking out. "He wasn't planned which means that if you had taken the proper precautions he wouldn't be here." Fuck did I really just say that? "I mean none of us would be here."
"Is that what I did?" I look away trying to recap what I'm fucking thinking and what I'm saying.
"What?" Crap this isn't how this weekend was suppose to happen. I just wanted some time with her. I wanted to be able to fucking hold my wife without interruptions and instead I'm here trying to convince her I want a baby. Which I do. I want this baby but I also want her. I want a wife and kids.
"When I got pregnant, I trapped you into being with me." This is not good. This is fucking shit and she's going to go hate me.
"No Lina I love being with you. And I love our son."
"But you said... You just said-"
"You're putting words in my mouth Lina." I start pulling on my hair as she watches me. "I love you and Evan. And Isabelle. But I didn't plan for any of this to happen. I glad it did. I love what I have. I love you three I wouldn't want to lose any of you. But this pregnancy, you not eating it scares me Lina. I don't want to lose you."
"You think I'm not scared? I don't want something to happen to me and leave you. I love my family. Even this baby. Even if I feel terrible 95% of the time I still love this baby. Even if it did kill me I'd still love this baby. Why can't you?"
"I just want you healthy. I miss you moving around like you used to. When you would play with Evan. You can't do that anymore. You're such an amazing mother baby and an amazing wife I'm just worried. I'm your husband, I have a right to worry don't I? Why don't we... Maybe we should just talk in the morning. You need to rest." I thought it would be a good idea to take a timeout. Truthfully I was just saving my self because the more I said the more shit I got into. Next I'll be saying I'm gay or something stupid like that. Thank fuck she agrees. She nods her head.
"I... Maybe you shouldn't sleep here tonight." Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. "I want... I think you should sleep somewhere else tonight." Can I tell her no? Can I? Maybe I should just say ok. God knows what other shit I'll say if I stay with her. I don't need to upset her more.
"Ill sleep in the couch. In case you don't feel well."
"I'll call if I need anything but just not here."
"What if something happens to the baby?" I ask her.
"I'll be sure to call with the good news." She says quietly. Holy fuck. She hates me now that's for sure. I'm taken back by what she says. A little pissed off but mostly just taken back by the fact that she thinks so little of me.
"I'm just going to get somethings for tonight." As I walk past her I can feel the tension radiating through the room. The air feels heavy and it's too quiet even for this time of night.
