"What are you doing outside?" I ask Elliot from the backyard patio. I don't think he heard me. He's sitting in one of the lawn chairs watching the pool. What is he doing? I consider walking out so I can get him to come back in but then I see a moving figure in the distance. It's the dog. The dog loves the rain. I would think it's cute how he runs from puddle to puddle then rolls on the grass except I know that he'll be coming inside soon and I'll have to take him a bath. But not today. Oh no. I refuse to do it this time since I'm not the one who put him outside. The fact that I'm nine months pregnant should also aid my case on how Elliot has to be the one to do it.
"Whatcha watching?" Ask Isabelle who sneaks up on me my leaning on the door frame where I watch Elliot.
"Watching daddy." I answer.
"Can I go play with them?"
"No." I say quickly. The last thing I need is for her to get sick when I'm so close to my due date. She pouts but walks away without arguing. It's a first this week. She doesn't want to listen to me lately. Daddy is her favorite this week. I turn around in time to see Evan throw some of his toys out of the playpen. I hate when he does that. Then I just have to pick them up which hurts my back. But if I don't do it he'll cry until I do. I don't have patience for him right now. I get the toys and continue working in the kitchen. My feet hurt. My back too, everything does at this point. I get back in the kitchen and turn on the small tv Elliot installed a few months back. He connected surveillance video to it, so at a certain channel I can check on the camera in Evan's room while I'm cooking. But honestly I just use it to watch the news while I'm cooking.
"Hey still talking about a storm?" Elliot asks kissing my head as he walks by.
"Yes. You know I'd believe it but they've been talking about it for days and just yesterday did it actually start raining harder than usual."
"Maybe but we should still pick up some stuff from the store just in case. We can go today before the appointment. If you want or I can go later." He says taking a drink of water.
"I don't mind going as long as I don't have to stand to long. It hurts my feet." I feel him move behind me and massage my shoulder and back. It feels really good. I stop what I'm doing and close my eyes enjoying the feel of his hands soothing the aches over my body.
"Like that?" He asks chuckling when a soft moan escapes me. I just keep quiet as he continues for another few minutes. "I'll finish later baby I'm gonna shower. I'm gonna put George in the garage and I'll wash him later I promise." He kisses the side of my neck lightly before walking away.
I make lunch for the kids while Elliot is getting ready for today. I'm at forty weeks pregnant and I am so tired of this. Elliot is just of tired of me because I'm a mess. I have no energy and I am mad at everyone all the time. I can't blame him for being sick of me I have become a full time job. I feel horrible about it I really do but there are some days I just can't take it anymore. I'm just hoping that I can be induced because all this waiting is exhausting.
"What are you so worried about?" Elliot asks me as we make our way back to the car. Everything is fine so I don't know why I'm so worried.
"Just ready for this baby I guess." I keep thinking that once I have it everything will magically get easier but I'm reality it will only get harder. Am I really going to have three kids.
I feel his hand go over my stomach. I guide it to where the baby is moving and even though he feels the baby all the time, his lips twitch just a bit as he smiles. He's happy. He's really happy which is not something that comes easily to people. But I make him happy it's pretty amazing that even after all this time I make him happy. Sometimes when I'm playing with the kids or just sitting with them I notice he watches us, not in a creepy way where it's like he's stalking us but in a way that makes it seem like he loves us. He's genuinely content with how things are at the moment. And besides the pregnancy changes, so am I. We are pretty safe lately.
"Where are we going now?" Isabelle asks loudly from the back seat.
"Our new house." I tell her she starts cheering which only gets Evan excited. He's gotten so big. It's hard to believe that's he's already two. His first word was dad and too be honest I was just happy that he started talking. He didn't get to mom for a while so he just called me dad. I was just proud of the fact that he had some progress.
"It's really coming along." I tell Elliot as we drive by the fence along the construction. When I told Elliot I was pregnant he started going on about building our new home. As soon as I agreed that it was a good idea he started on the blue prints. We brought a house and he took it down. It was pretty horrible to see considering that it was such a beautiful house but when he showed me what our new home would look like the sadness quickly went away. So far it's only the landscape that is coming along because we decided to not rush it. We didn't need some grand place but trying to rush things would only add more stress to our lives and at the moment we are trying to focus on having this baby then getting used to all the kids. Isabelle loves it. well she does now but I'm sure she won't like it as much when we have to tell her that she's leaving from her house now.
"It's really starting to rain now." Elliot comments as we sit in our bedroom after a long day. According to the weather channel its suppose to be a pretty bad storm. They are probably making out to be worse than it will actually be but Elliot thought that it would be best if we prepared so we bought a few extra things food wise. Not that we don't have enough food as it is but whatever makes him feel more prepared I guess. As I lay in bed i feel Elliot's body curve behind mine and his hand moves so that it is over my belly and he is softly stroking the skin where he can feel movement. I can feel his chest slowly rising against my back until the rising becomes less frequent and he has relaxed finally falling asleep. I can't sleep though the thunder, it keeps me up and I'm tempted to just get up to check on the kids even though I know for a fact that they are perfectly fine. I know this because I sat in Evan's room until he fell asleep then I walked in to Isabelle's room to see that she was asleep too. They're fine. Everything is fine. Even though I know things are fine I still can't sleep there is something going on that keeps me from sleeping. You would think that after an hour I would be asleep but as two hours pass Im still just as tired as I was before, which is not at all. Elliot finally rolls over in his sleep and is no longer touching me which means that I can finally get out of bed without waking him. It's definitely a struggle though, the round belly, lack of muscle, and extra weight make it nearly impossible to get out of bed but I manage to roll so my feet are off the bed and I use my elbow to support my weight and get off. Elliot moves again but doesn't wake up.
I move down the hall and end up in Evan's old nursery. We moved Evan's room to the one that is across the hall from Isabelle's since he likes to visit her in the mornings and that way we could have the new baby in the nursery which also happens to be closest to our room. We didn't do much construction to it because since we are moving out soon we figured it wouldn't matter. But thinking about it now we probably could have since the new house won't be live-able anytime soon. But its still beautiful so I can't say much; we did paint it a new color just for the sake of it though, green. I thought that would be a nice color semi-gender neutral but I think really when Elliot and I chose that color we were hopping for a boy. I kept most of Evan's old clothes so they are now stored in here organized by color and size, anything larger than 6 months is still in one of the storage rooms that elliot has full of junk. Well, now its both of our junk but mostly his. I might as well start folding clothes. Most things are in order as it is but there is still a box or two just lying around with things. It takes me two hours to do that and it is now 3 in the morning but I'm still not tired. My back hurts a little more than before but I figured its because of the fact that I've been leaning down a bit to fold the clothes. Then I move on to other parts of the house doing some laundry cleaning the fridge and pretty much any other thing that I can do that will not wake anyone up. I must have fallen asleep on the couch because thats where I wake up hours later. Evan sits next to me waking me up and its 8 in the morning which by Evan's standards is pretty late. Since Isabelle has been in school Eight is early but she's somehow awake too. She walks into the living room with some food and sets it down on the table. She smiles at me but doesn't say anything. Elliot walks in with his pajamas taking drinks for all three of them. He leans back on the couch with his head close to my hand. He's had curly hair and its usually pretty soft but since he cut it recently is not as smooth. I still like it though. I also like that Evan has his hair. Maybe i compare them too often but i can't really help it since they just look too alike.
"Do you want something to eat?" Elliot asks looking back at me slightly. I shake my head. "Do you feel okay? I didn't notice when you got up this morning I thought you just woke up early but you were here. Is there something going on?" He whispers it quietly so that Isabelle doesn't ask.
"I honestly dont know I just couldn't sleep. Maybe I'm in labor." I say jokingly closing my eyes. I notice he doesn't laugh with me so i open my eyes and he's looking at me worried. "Baby I'm joking I'm ok."
"I really hope so because if you are in labor you're having a home birth." He says taking a sip of whatever is in his cup. Evan moves so that he is now sitting in Elliot's lap with his sip cup on his lap. Elliot moves him cradling his little body in his arms.
"What are you talking about?"
"Have you looked outside?" He asks me while running his fingers through Evans hair. I get up slowly, mostly because i can't get up any faster. I walk out to the window and see that the yard is basically flooded. Holy crap, and its still raining. There isn't much thunder now but I'm sure it will pick up again soon. Even by Seattle's standards this is a bit much. A lot much actually. Im just glad about the fact that have the patio elevated and that it's not flooded but there must be too much mud to be safe and if there is some water then the gate must be completely blocked considering what kind of gate we have and the fact that there is a dip which I'm sure is holding a lot of water.
"How would you get the gate to not be flooded?"
"Wait it out or we can just kinda vacuum it out either way we can't go out in this weather its too dangerous. I already called off the next two days of work maybe three depending on what the weather is like but most likely we'll be shut down for the week. I can start my maternity leave early." He says joking but We are both hoping that its true that this baby comes, soon. I instinctively place my hand on my belly just as the baby kicks.
"Well i guess we should have read that book Scott gave us." I comment looking at him. He smiles at me remembering the day my sister suggested she should have a home birth. Scott went crazy and took her way too seriously so he went out to buy a bunch of books on home birth and how to deliver your own baby. Once she started getting contractions she gave up that plan and rushed to the hospital to get an epidural. She was in labor for about 20 hours so i would say she needed it. Mama was there for the birth and they never let me forget it. It only upsets my mom more that I dont regret having any family there. I had a quiet calm birth for my Evan. And Virginia wanted everyone there so we all did as she asked. Scott really changed after that he wouldn't let anyone go close to his daughter until they had washed their hands for at least one minute, and he timed it. Once he let go a bit of the over protectiveness he jokingly gave elliot the books.
"Well you're not having any contractions so i could skim through it just in case." He laughs loudly making Evan move and frown. He hates when we disrupt him when he's cuddling. "Im joking by the way please have this baby around professionals. Just hold it in a little more. You've gone this far."
"we already set a date to induced if it doesn't happen sooner so just look forward to that date." I walk into the kitchen and get started on something to eat later. I made dinner pretty early just incase I feel too tired later.
"Mommy can I help you." Isabelle asks when she walks into the kitchen.
"Sure why don't you get me some stuff out and help." She starts taking things out slowly trying to make sure she doesn't miss a thing.
"Why don't I go to school today?" She asks when I sit her on the counter as I start making dinner.
"Because it's too dangerous to drive outside. And on the news it saying school was canceled." Most schools in Seattle were close for the day and Elliot seemed pretty glad since he decided Isabelle wasn't going to school anyway. Our home was too far from her school to go. Elliot didn't want to risk it. Usually I can go out for a short walk or just sit outside with Evan but now I feel completely confined to my home. The only good thing is that Elliot is here to at least talk to me. You can't really have a conversation with a toddler.
I thought that it would get better the next day but I happened to be very wrong. The rain kept coming and the thunder only got louder so Evan was scared most of the night.
"He could just sleep with us for the night El it's really okay. It's only one night and he's scared."
"You know I don't like that he should sleep in his own room or else he's going to be coming here any time he feels like it."
"Baby please just for the night. Or even until he goes to sleep and we can take him back to his room. He's been crying for hours." I look at him hoping he agrees. "Elliot just tonight." He grabs his hair pulling it slightly. "Elliot."
"Fine just till he's asleep." I kiss his cheek before walking into Evans room where he is sitting on the floor crying. He's my little baby how could I not feel bad about letting him cry so much. He rubs his eyes then stands up walking to me.
"Come on buddy you can sleep with us okay?" He nods but continues to sob into my leg.
"I got scared." He says once he walks into our room. Elliot walks past me in to shower.
"I know it's really loud outside. But don't worry okay you're gonna be okay and me and daddy are going to take really good care of you okay?" He nods.
"Promise." He says sternly at me.
"Yeah baby I promise. Why don't you get in bed." He gets on the bed curled into a ball so I grab the blankets to cover him.
Once I know he's okay I walk into the bathroom where Elliot just got out of the shower.
"Please don't be mad." I say when he looks at me.
"I don't like them sleeping in here. We should have a place in this house that is just for us. I love our kids but our bedroom should be just for us."
"Right and I understand what you're saying but he was scared I felt guilty and I just... I don't know. I just don't want him to feel left out I guess." He puts his shorts on and grabs his t shirt.
"He's not used to sharing you. You spend a lot of time with him and he's going to have to get used to sharing you."
"I know but what if he thinks I'm replacing him with this baby?"
"He's gonna have to get used to it baby. You're not replacing him you know that he just has to learn to share like Izzy did. He won't like it at first but in a while he's gonna learn that he will have someone new to play with." I sigh walking toward him and placing my forehead on his chest.
"No more kids Elliot." I say quietly.
"Okay. Let's talk about that after this one and see how it goes." He chuckles but to be honest I'm being serious.
"Elliot? isn't three enough?" I look up at him a little worried.
"Babies are great and we happen to be very good parents so why not one or two more. You dont think so?"
"Um no why would I? I just think its too much."
"You know what? Never mind lets just not talk about this. Let's not talk about anything. Just you know… we could just not talk" He kisses one side of my neck then the other side. "We could just enjoy tonight since we won't have time and you'll be healing from the baby soon. So…" He places a hand on either side of my face then kissing me softly once then pulling away. I close my eyes then wait for him to kiss me again which he does after running his nose down my jaw. I open my mouth and his tongue invades my mouth. I miss this. Or I'm going to miss this because I've had this same treatment from him for the last few night and its been nothing short of amazing. God, I love him. I love him so much. I love the way his mouth moves against mine and how his hands rest on my hips then move up to my now nonexistent waist. One of his hands moves to my behind cupping it then moving out slowly to my back and he touches it lightly and i feel the tips of his fingertips run up and down my spine. My arms fall from the his shoulders and down to his hips because i can't handle this light touching. It too much, too irresistible and too hot for me to just stand here and not need him. I need him in every way possible, but especially now. Now that he has me so worked up and needy for him.
"I love you." i say to him. He smiles softly against my lips and his mouth moves down to my to my clavicle then down between my breasts. His hand pulls my shirt down more exposing more of my cleavage. I pul on his hair and have his lips join back with mine and his hand moves to my back and spreads out pushing me toward him as much as i can and his lips move on mine faster.
"I love you." He says quickly looking at me before crushing his lips on mine. I need him. I need him more than i could imagine. Having him in my life has brought so much happiness and joy. "Why don't we take this to our bedroom baby?" I smile and kiss him.
"Yes." I say wanting him. He pulls back smiling at me almost laughing.
"But we can't because you wanted our two year old to sleep in our room." He chuckles kissing my lips quickly then my forehead before walking into our room still laughing.
"Seriously?" I say looking at him from the door frame.
"Yea come to bed we can cuddle with him." Okay I deserved that.
"I hate you." I tell him chuckling.
"Yeah I don't think you do. I was just trying to make a point."
"You saw him he was really upset. He's been crying for almost an hour." I say touching Evan's cheek. "Im going to check on Isabelle and get something to drink do you need anything?"
"No honey, I'm good." He say placing his hands behind his head and smirking at me.
"If I had good aim I would throw something at you just so you know."
"It's a good thing you don't."
I get downstairs and pick up a few waters to take upstairs. Its still raining and even though Elliot has made it bearable its still pretty boring not being able to go outside. And I'm sure that the dog isn't enjoying it. He's in Izzy's room for now and it makes her feel a bit safer. I leave a water in her room before putting an extra blanket on her. Then i turn off most lights and walk back to my room. I give Elliot a water and kiss him before walking slowly back to my side of the bed.
"You okay?" He asks sitting up.
"It was a lot of stairs." i say smiling at him
"Anything I can do?" He asks worried.
"No, I'm just gonna sleep honey."
"Lina if something is wrong you gotta tell me."
"Nothing is wrong honestly just suddenly tired and my back hurts now. Ill feel better when I lay down."
"I can sleep on the couch so you two can have more room."
"What? No, you don't have to do that. You know how I sleep, I don't need too much room and this bed is big enough for the three of us."
"Yeah but I don't mind if you need me to I can. I just want you to be comfortable."
"El, stop I'm comfortable with you here, stay." I tell him hoping he'll just lay back down. I would feel too guilty if he left.
"How's our baby?"
"Good. Kicking a bit but it's okay. I feel like I'm going to end up being induced because I have no signs of labor. Not even Braxton hicks which is really annoying but I think that at this point I'm okay since we can't leave."
"It'll be okay hon." We're quiet for a while until Evan moves and kicks Elliot.
"Remember when he was born? How worried we both were?"
"Yeah. I just thought that something would happen on the way there."
"Is that why you were so nervous when we were driving to the hospital?" I ask him.
"Yea. I just kept thinking that if I could just get you to the hospital then everything would be alright."
"Why?" I ask curiously.
"Why what?" He leans his head on his hand so that he's elevated and looking at me.
"Why did that worry you so much?"
"Because I was in an accident once and I had a dream about it that night. I didn't want anything to happen to you. I'm suppose to keep you safe and I couldn't be the reason something went wrong. You would hate me if something bad happened. I know you think that you won't but being honest you would blame me and I can't have you hate me. I love you and I know how much having a baby meant to you."
"I'm sorry for making you feel that way." I never knew he thought that way. I suddenly felt horrible for always feeling so miserable about bringing up my past so much. "But there are something that we can't control I would know that. I also know that if something have happened you would have stuck by me and done everything you could to try and make me better. In sickness and in health and in good times and in bad."
"I worry about you." He says resting his hand on my belly making sure no weight is on Evan.
"Why?"
"I worry that if something happens to me you won't be okay. Or that something happens to you that I won't be okay. Or what if something happens to both of us. What happens to our kids?"
"We should really look into that." I say. Just as he's going to say something I cover his mouth. "But not right now. Now, we should be happy and think about the fact that we are going to have a new baby soon. A new baby who is going to make our lives so much better so let's it think about these horrible possibilities and focus on what we know. And what we know is that we are on our way to have a healthy baby. We have two other very happy, healthy kids who love us most of the time and we have each other. And in case I haven't told you lately, I am in love with you Elliot Grey. And I'm really happy to get to spend the rest of my life with you." I lean forward to kiss his lips.
"Thanks Lina."
"Anytime baby."
"Good morning everyone." Isabelle says walking into our room the next morning.
"Hey, honey. How did you sleep?"
"Super good. I want some pancakes. I'm really hungry." She says smiling at me as she stands next to the bed.
"Oh ok. Give me a minute okay?" She nods at me and walks out probably to get everything ready for me to make breakfast. Her coming in woke up Evan and he's up as soon as she walks out. "Watch Evan!" I shout at her. He's always after her.
"Morning Elliot." I kiss his forehead and he just flips over. I walk slowly into the bathroom hoping that I can get there soon enough because I seriously have to go.
I use the bathroom wash my hands and change into some clean clothes. I decide on a grey V-neck t shirt and some blacker jogger pants. While I'm brushing my hair I feel a sudden relief in my lower belly followed by feeling wet. I feel wet between my legs. Shit. My water broke. I stand frozen in place unsure of what to do.
"Hey what are you doing just standing there?" Elliot asks walking in and going around me to grab him clothes. "Baby why are you standing... You're wet." He says quietly. He walks toward me saying something but I'm not paying attention. I know I should but I'm freaking out a bit here. I feel my head move and now I'm looking directly at him.
"My water broke." He smiles at me.
"I can tell. You're okay?"
"Yea… My water broke." I say again slowly.
"I know. Its okay. We have to go to a hospital." He says smiling at me.
"The kids… they haven't had breakfast." I say.
"Hey stop that. We are going to be okay we just have to get them something at a drive thru. Or we'll get them cereal in a cup. Don't worry. We're having a baby today."
"Baby… I'll get them ready." I look away and start walk downstairs where the kids are watching tv. Im not surprised that elliot is walking right behind me.
"Lina we have to go and get ready. We can leave the kids with my parents its on the way there."
"Im not having any contractions so maybe we could get them breakfast here and then go. Im gonna make them pancakes and when we are done we can go."
"Ok. Im going to get dressed while you make it." He takes Evan upstairs who starts crying when he is taken away from the TV but Isabelle just starts setting the table. He comes back 20 minutes later and leaves Evan in the kitchen with me. Isabelle has always been able to do it on her own so he just helps with the water temperature and walk back down. "She wants to know why you're quiet. Maybe we got in a fight and we are getting a divorce."
"What?" I ask him.
"One of her friends parents got a divorce so she think that everytime we fight we are going to get a divorce. She's just worried." He kisses my temple and carries Evan who rests his head on Elliot's shoulder.
"This is his last time to be the baby." I tell Elliot.
"I know. Any contractions yet?"
"yeah but it was pretty short and about ten minutes ago." Ten minutes later I have another one. They're twenty minutes apart at this point.
"You pick the best days for labor." He jokes moving away hair from my face.
"I like to think that they get that from you." I say wrapping my arms around his waist and resting my head on his chest. "I love you."
"I know that. Come on lets watch them eat."
The morning goes on pretty quietly once my contractions are fifteen minutes apart we get ready to go. Or at least that was the plan. We didn't plan on Evan causing so much trouble. All he had to do was get dressed. Seriously this kid will be the end of me. As we started packing their clothes so they could stay at Grace's while I'm at the hospital Evan came in undressed and would refuse to put anything on. He would kick and scream bloody murder and if he was in pain and I know he wasn't in any pain because he started yelling when i got the clothes and didn't stop. After about ten minutes of trying to wait out this tantrum I left to get Elliot who was in my room. I had to stop in the hallway because of a contraction. I had to hold on to the wall in order to now fall over. From a scale of one to ten that was a four.
"You okay Mommy?" Isabelle asks walking out into the hallway.
"Yea honey. Can you do something for me?" I ask her trying to compose myself before she worries more. I watch as she nods her head but is still worried. "Can you stay with your brother and try to calm him down a bit." She nods and runs past me into his room but I dont think she helped I think it just got worse because the cries get louder for a second before quieting down to what they were before she went in.
"Whats going on with Evan?" Elliot asks putting a bag over his shoulder.
"I don't know… can you help me with him he's just crying and I don't know why." I watched quietly as Elliot tried to calm him. Turns out that he had a splinter in his finger and it was hurting him. While watching them I had my first contraction. It was not too strong and only lasted a few second but I know it was only the beginning. I check the time so that I can tome them. I really don't want to have this baby here. I had planned on an epidural this time around because Elliot and I agreed to it.
"Come on buddy lets go to our room and pack some stuff?" He takes Evan's hand leading him to our room.
"Where we going daddy?"
"To the moon."
"Really?" Evan asks excitedly.
"Um no buddy but you do get to go spend a few days with grandma Grace." He was just as content with that. I walked slowly behind them watching Evan try and hang off Elliot's arm. The next few hours are pretty calm. Well, as calm as we can be since the rain hasn't stopped and the news advises that everyone stay indoors. There are some videos are mass flooding and strong winds. But as every hour passed my contractions grow stronger and intensify. Twenty minutes apart turn into eighteen which then become fifteen. Elliot watches me with just as much worry as I have. I walk downstairs and walked around the living room. That seemed to help for a few minutes until i had a contraction then I went one a walked. My feet and back started hurting so I stopped I sat with Isabelle and explained to her what was happening. She did't really understand it but Elliot just let her know that she could help by just sitting next to me and helping me when I needed something. But there wasn't really any one could do besides watch what was happening. For her sake I tried to act like it didn't hurt.
I took another walk and stopped at the sliding door looking outside. "We're gonna have to do this here aren't we?" I turned around to see Elliot leaning on the wall with his arms crossed in front of his chest.
"My contractions are nine minutes apart. So that is probably… very likely." He nods his head and walks away to where Evan is calling for him. Normally I would be upset that he isn't next to me and holding my hand but I can tell he's freaking out about this. He has every right to be since there is no one here that can help me now. He walks back and sits on the couch running his hand through his hair. "it'll be okay El we can get through this." He laughs dryly knowing that I believe that about as much as he does. "We're having a baby today that's one thing to be happy about." He smiles just the smaller bit and it makes me feel better because at least I know he's happy about that too.
"Three kids…" I laugh just for a minute before the next contraction hits. Over the next hour Elliot and I, but mostly him, try and set up one of the guest room for me. As much as we tried though we are still confused and have no idea what we are doing.
"How far apart are they now?" Elliot is constantly walking around the house between me and the kids since we thought then seeing me wouldn't be very good. Especially not with Isabelle who is easily scared of people screaming or in pain. You'd think that after all these years she wouldn't be so scared but she still is. It's definitely not as bad as before but she still has her moments of panic when Elliot and I argue or when either of us gets too upset at her or Evan. We try our best to at least not argue in front of her but with the amount of pain labor is, well it's just better to not be in front of her. And really why would I be.
"A few... Minutes." Deep breathes. I just have to remember to take some deep breathes. It's hard to take deep breathes when you're in pain. Fuck this shit hurts. I almost forgot how bad since its been years since Evan. Ok only two years but still you forget details after a while. I lean on the bed trying to keep my breaths somewhat even. "Six minutes." Breathe in. I hear little footsteps coming down the hallway and Elliot doesn't get a chance to close the door before Evan walks in and hugs my leg. My little blonde baby boy is so happy to just be with all of us he can't seem to calm down. He's always so happy though.
"She's gonna eat me!" He says running up to me.
"Yeah I know. You better run."
"Come on buddy run this way." Elliot picks him up and pretends to fly him to the living room where Isabelle follows them instead of coming in the room.
I walk to the door and turn off the lights, the darkness is somewhat calming. I have a few more contractions and they are closer together. It's ok though. Everything will be fine.
I get another message from Grace asking how I'm doing and telling me what to do. We talked earlier but we could hardly hear so texting is pretty much all we could do. I know Elliot told Christian who told Ana. And Ana told my sister who told everyone else. Now I get messages as often as they can send them but it's annoying right now because I'm freaking out and no one can do anything. I can't even drive to the freaking hospital. My kids really know how to pick the worst days to make me go into labor.
I suddenly hear a loud scream coming from downstairs. As I'm about to take a step another contraction hits. Shit. This really fucking hurts. I don't know if I can't take this much longer. I really want to push. Once it passes I take small steps to the hallway but it's dark. It's dark everywhere. And the kids keep screaming.
"Isabelle stop screaming. Just get my hand and we'll go upstairs where mom is." Knowing they're coming here I'd rather just wait for them.
"What's going on?" I ask him when he gets upstairs. The only light is coming from his phone.
"I think the lights when out baby." He's trying not to sound too worried but I know he's nervous now for both of us. "Guys you need to stay with mom so I can look for some lights downstairs." He hands me Evan and Isabelle takes my hand without another word I start walking to the master bedroom. It's bigger. We can all be in one place. I try to turn the lights on hoping that they work. But they don't. I use my phone as a light but this is only temporary.
It's become one of those moments when time keeps going and life keeps moving but things are stuck in place. The kids jump on the bed but I just watch with the occasional smile. They are too busy hiding under the blankets to pay attention. I'm glad. They don't see as I lean over when another contraction hits. There is noise coming from on the stairs. It's Elliot. I hope so anyway. Evan shrieks much louder than earlier but laughs right after.
"This is all I found and I have a backup charger in my car so it'll work. We just have to be creative. And I'm gonna get the stuff from the other room." He walks out after setting up a few flashlights in the room and leaving batteries in a drawer by the bed. I wish he would stop. Stop leaving. Stop leaving the room and me. Stop moving. I just wish I could be more useful but there's only so much I can do. He walks in a few times carrying a few things each time but doesn't say anything to me. Tickles the kids everytime he comes in but walks past me. I have to change. Put on... Not pants. I get a long button down pajama. I'm in the bathroom waiting till I get my next contraction to change then I can walk out.
"Lina? Lina!" That's Elliot but this contraction is going on too long. I'm pretty sure they overlapped. "I... I'll be right back."
"No!" My hand is on my stomach and he stops. I know he doesn't want to. He feels awkward. "Please just stay. El... Fuck. That hurts." He sets whatever was in his hand on the counter and walks toward me. He places his hand on my back moving it in slow circles. He really has no idea how much I need him, especially now.
"I don't know what to do Lina. They're really close aren't they?" I look up at him relieved for a few seconds.
"Yea."
"Hey don't cry Baby. We can get through this. I don't know fucking how but we will ok?" I nod. "Come on baby you need to lay down. You can't keep walking when they're so close."
"I need to change." He grabs a towel wiping off the sweat on my head then helps me get dressed.
"Guys I need you to get off the bed. Mommy has to sleep."
"Yay we sleeping here daddy?" Isabelle asks him.
"Not today mommy has... Not today. Why don't you use mom's tablet and watch one of the movies saved. It has battery." He lays me down on the bed over the towels then walks the kids to what I'm assuming is Isabelle's room. Deep breaths. I need to relax and take deep breaths. I bend my knees and I feel relief on my back. Why didn't I lay down earlier. My feet feel so much better now. My back is in pain but it could be worse.
Not really though I'm at home in labor with practically no way out and no electricity.
"Well the battery should last like 5 hours. That's should be enough for them to fall asleep so we can... Well I don't know what we're gonna do really. I'll be right back."
"Elliot. Stop." I ask him.
"Just a minute." He shouts back. I really just want him to be with me for a minute. He's gone for much longer than he said he would be. I really need to push. I want to push I think I should. I mean what could happen. The baby will go on the bed. I think my panicking about doing this has been good for my pain it distracts me, but not anymore. Now the pain, it's too much.
Epov
Fuck. This shit is too fucking ridiculous. She should be in the damn hospital right now. Where is that fucking air mattress. I can use that as a towel and she can lay on it. Fuck now there's water in the garage. I knew I should have done some thing about this earlier. Fuck we should have just stayed at my mom since three days ago that way I wouldn't have to be the one doing this. I don't want to look at her right now. I have to be the one to help her no nurses, doctors, or anyone else I can depend on. She's really losing it though. I can tell she's pissed off and upset but there's nothing I can do.
"Fuck finally." I take the crap upstairs where Lina is in bed sweaty. Just like last time.
I drop the stuff on the floor and sit next to her. I place my hand on her cheek but she moves her head away. "Don't touch me." Have we entered the part of labor when she hates me? I try to hide my smile because this is funny. I try again just to be sure.
"I said don't. You haven't fucking been here all day and if you don't want to be here then leave. I can do this on my own. It's fine. I'll figure it out on my own." She lays back taking a deep breath.
"Lina... I'm sorry."
"I need you okay. I'm worried and in pain... I just need you to tell me it's gonna be okay." Fuck. I didn't even realize that I have just left her alone all day. She's right. She's pissed and has a right to be.
"I'm sorry. It's on me. If anything goes on here it's my fucking fault. I'm the only one who can help. I've been trying to get all this shit together so I can help. I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."
"Sorry El." she says taking a deep breath.
"Me too." i tell her quietly
There was stuff. I love my wife and would love to say that this won't change things but it might make me reconsider another baby. There was stuff coming out of places where stuff should not come out. I hoped that it would be easy. And thank fuck it was. Lina pushed a few times and the baby came. A tiny red little baby was in my hands and Lina tried to look but couldn't move. God she was exhausted. Before I knew it the baby was there.
I was reading articles and reading crap when I was gone. I figured if I had to do this then I had to try to learn a thing or two. I left the umbilical cord for a while until I was sure the baby was breathing on its own.
Holy fuck we had a baby. There was a tiny baby in my arms and my damn beautiful wife just trying to see. I placed the baby on her chest and she cried. I couldn't blame her I'm sure I did too. We had a baby. A loud as fuck baby. I took off the gloves I had on and took a few pictures. We'll want to look back at these. He was beautiful. Another baby boy and we couldn't be happier.
"He looks good right?" She asks me.
"Yeah baby he's perfect." It's like Evan all over again. He just laid there on her chest.
