Thank you for all your lovely reviews! They make my day, each and every one!

Enjoy!


She only woke up because she was soaking wet with sweat. She was hot. She threw off the covers, tore off her dressing gown and lay back feeling the coolness of the room through her night gown. The soft snores coming from next to her told her Charlie was still sleeping. That was a relief. The last thing she wanted to do was wake him up.

She tried to remember the dream she'd been having. Images floated past her, something about Charlie and a motorbike. She almost laughed out loud. Biting her lip to keep herself quiet, she chuckled inwardly. Charlie and a motorbike: never in a million years. Smiling in the dark, she glanced next to her at the real Charlie. He slept with his back to her, the covers pulled down to his waist, his hands tucked under his pillows.

The television was off so he must have fallen asleep after her. She was grateful he hadn't tried to wake her. They had shared beds before, but they had always had a baby Anna between them, and usually one of them would remain awake. This was likely far more intimate for him. It was starting to feel rather intimate for her.

He rolled over, releasing a light breath. His head landed next to her own. He kissed her shoulder, surprising her, then he muttered something that sounded like, "where's the gravy?"

She had forgotten how he talked in his sleep. Still trying not to laugh, she pulled away from him and slid out of bed. He murmured his dissent. She blushed. It felt good to know even in his sleep he wanted her to stay with him. She gathered up her things, finding it wise to return to her own room, the last thing she wanted was to find out if he got handsy in his sleep as well. Her body shivered at the thought. She attributed the shiver to her minimal amount of clothing. Butterflies stirred in her stomach. The spot on her shoulder where he kissed her still felt warm.

Time to go. She walked out of his room, taking the time to quietly close the door behind her. The staircase, she discovered was a warmer area than either bedroom. She padded back up the stairs to her room on the top floor.

She threw her things in a heap on her suitcase and then threw herself into her bed. Somehow it was much cooler in her room. She shivered again and pulled the blankets over her. She then promptly burst into tears.

"Why?" she asked aloud to a blank room.

Shoving her face into her pillow, she let the sobs burst through. She knew why she was crying, and at the same time, she couldn't fathom why it had come out of nowhere.

Joe. Clearly she was crying because of Joe. And for Charlie. How kind he was being to her. Her lip trembled at the thought and more tears fell hot and fast down her cheeks.

She cried for a while, sobs turning into sighs. Laughter bubbled up through her tears. 'Where's the gravy' She replayed that moment and continued to laugh. She found herself eternally grateful this swath of emotions occurred after she had left Charlie's bed. She could only imagine his face, waking up to a sweaty laughing and crying woman.

The pieces began to put themselves together. How had she not realized before? But then again, she reasoned, hiccuping a few more laughs and wiping at her tears, she had been rather preoccupied with Joe.

Her body was changing.

She laughed again, but then felt sadness hug her around the shoulders. Her body was changing. She hadn't had her period in three months. Perimenopause - that was what her doctor had called it four years ago when she stopped feeling interested in sex. It was such an odd time. You didn't know you had it until it is was over. Menopause explained a lot: the night sweats, the insomnia, and even the mood swings. Although she realized she couldn't attribute all her mood swings to her body's changes.

Was that why Joe was leaving her?

Would any man want her now?

She shook her head. It didn't matter. She wasn't going to go jumping on the first man she saw once the divorce was finalized. Space would be good. A small bit of relief dropped into her stomach. At least now she knew she wasn't losing her mind entirely. Joe may have stressed her out, may have ruined a perfectly good thing, but he hadn't destroyed who she was.

With that tiny bit of confidence returning, she rolled over in her bed, her mind finally allowing her to sleep.


"Why did you bother hanging it up?" She asked.

"I didn't think something like that should be in a bundle on the floor." He said.

They were staring at the dress she had bought. The one Anna had made her buy. Midnight blue, far too low cut, shapely, curvy - all the things that screamed sex when Elsie couldn't think of anything she felt like less.

Charlie had gone on a cleaning spree that morning. At some point he must have vacuumed her room, found the dress and hung it up. Hung it up in a spot she couldn't miss. If she didn't know any better she might have thought he was asking her to wear it.

As they spoke she watched him glance at the pile of clothes still spilling out of her suitcase. He might have been looking at a rabid raccoon the way he glared at the pile.

"I haven't got around to putting things away." She said, stating the obvious. Earlier that afternoon Joe had dropped off a large suitcase full of all her clothes and jackets. He even managed to throw in a few of her heels knowing she was going to Beryl's party that night. She still wasn't sure how she felt about him doing that. She remained grateful Charlie had done all the talking.

"You can use the dresser, I don't mind. This is your room, Els." Charlie said, waving his hand around the room.

She nodded and then glanced at the dress again. It was far too low cut, she thought again.

The doorbell rang for the second time that day. They shared a glance, she knew they were both hoping it wasn't Joe again. Charlie excused himself and went to answer it. She sat on her bed and continued to stare at the mocking dress.

"Oh, to hell with it," she said.

She stripped off her jumper and jeans, changed into a different bra and gently tugged the dress off the hanger and over her head.

Her brow crinkled as she looked at herself in the mirror. It was low cut. The tops and sides of her breasts were just visible, the material clung to her hips, adding to her already curvy body. If she already felt sexy, this would have been the dress to wear.

It reminded her of another dress she wore once. A red dress that covered her arms and slightly exposed her chest. She inhaled sharply, that had been the dress she'd been wearing when -

The memory returned and this time she didn't fight it, she let it float through her mind. She tried her best to push away the guilt that accompanied it:

Happy New Year! 2005!

The banner ran across the patio door where she had just watched Charlie disappear. Joe and Bert were discussing the merits of a good table saw leaving her the chance to duck out of the conversation and follow her best friend.

She found him sitting outside in the mild winter weather. He sat on the edge of the brick patio, his long legs tucked. He swirled his champagne around in the glass, mesmerized by the spinning liquid.

"May I join you?" She asked.

He looked up and smiled sadly at her, "Of course."

She closed the patio door. The sounds of the party disappeared, drowned out by the sound of the breeze shifting through the trees. They were alone in the dark.

"What are you doing out here all by your lonesome?" She asked.

His gaze returned to his champagne glass, "I suppose I'm trying to get used to being lonesome."

"You're missing Anna, off at university," she said. She pulled her dress so she could sit down. As she sat she tumbled into him. He pressed a hand to her shoulder as she settled in next to him, "sorry about that."

"Too many drinks?" He asked chuckling.

"Not yet, I don't think," she said, shoving him playfully, "these damn heels. And it's bloody dark out here, Charlie."

They sat in silence for a few moments. She watched him play with his champagne.

"Why don't you ever…see anyone?" she asked, not entirely sure how to phrase the question.

"You mean, why haven't I met another woman?" he rephrased.

"Yes, I suppose. But I don't mean you have to find another wife," she explained, "just, why haven't you dated anyone recently? It's been a while hasn't it?"

"Yes, it's been a while." He said. His voice twinged with sorrow. She wasn't sure if it was the way the moonlight hit his features, but he looked older, worn out, almost as if he had given up hope at the very prospect of being with another woman. His eyes appeared watery.

"I suppose," he started, "Elsie I - Oh, I don't know."

She had only seen him this defeated once before. An impulse roused her hand and she touched the side of his hair, smoothing it for a moment, hoping she could sooth whatever pain it was he was feeling. He leaned into her ever so slightly.

"I'm not much of a catch," he said.

She took in his face: his handsome features, the long nose and strong brow. She thought about how many nights they had spent laughing together, arguing about this or that, their teasing. A bubble of tension grew in her stomach.

"Don't say that," she said quietly.

"But it's true," he continued, "I'm becoming an old man, a curmudgeonly old man at that."

The tension tightened in her abdomen as her breath grew shallow. She swallowed, her eyes following the play of moonlight on his soft hair.

She didn't know what possessed her, except that she had little control over what she did next. Sitting besides him, touching his arm, she turned to face him.

"I think you're quite a catch," she whispered.

She closed the gap between them, and had he not turned his head, her lips would have met his completely. He hadn't expected her move, his inhale of surprise told her that much, and when her lips touched the corner of his mouth he shivered. She lingered there.

When she did pull away, she knew she had kissed him for a second too long. The look on his face said as much. His shock. She stood from him, steady herself by placing a hand on his shoulder. Walking away, back towards the door, she needed some space.

"Come inside, Charlie," she said, as if nothing had happened, "if you're going to be lonely, at least do it with some company."

He rose. She could see his outline in the dark. The tension bubble had not yet been released. She stepped aside as he walked up to the door. She found it difficult to look him in the eyes.

"It is nearly midnight," he said.

They quietly returned to the party.

Elsie shivered. The memory haunted her. The guilt brought a fresh wave of butterflies. The bubble of tension had never really disappeared, she had simply learned to ignore it.

"Elsie?" Charlie's voice brought her back to the present. He stood in the doorway of her bedroom mouth agape. He clearly hadn't expected to find her in the dress.

She watched his eyes roam up and down her body. Elevator eyes. That's what Anna had called it when a man scans a woman up and down. Not being able to watch him take her in like that, Elsie turned back to the mirror. She could see the blush starting to creep up her chest. And knew he was going to see it soon too.

"You look stun -" he caught himself. Standing straighter he corrected himself, his voice low, "you look beautiful."

The blush had practically consumed her face, "thank you."

Pushing the memory away, and the physical feelings it evoked, she joked, "I haven't even done my hair yet."

"Yes, well," he appeared incapable of looking away from her.

She noted the bottle in his hand, "what do you have there?"

"What?" he looked down, "oh, yes, this just arrived from Corked, a new cab on the market. I thought we might drink a bit before heading out."

"If you wish," she said. She was hoping he would leave soon, the dress had grown suffocating under his gaze.

"Right, well," he turned to leave and she started to breath normally, then he turned back, "I was calling you, you must have been miles away, I said your name three times, I started to get worried."

"Oh?" the blush returned, "You're right, I was off with the fairies."

"I see," his gaze was much too intense, "well then, I'll be downstairs. We can drink this and head out whenever you're ready."

She nodded and he left.

She was free to breath again.


Questions? Comments? Concerns? Fill in the box below :)