Chapter 29


"I've always wanted to see Italy," Stacie asks, words slipping out softly before she rolls her head to the left.

Beca doesn't look at her, half-lidded eyes finding interest up at the intricate designs carved on the ceiling instead.

Hours after the unfortunate news, they've both gotten drunk on Stacie's perfectly concocted drink called Adios Motherfucker, their empty glasses sitting in between them while the ingredients to said drink are scattered all over the place. Aware that problems like this aren't to be solved with alcohol, they tried the healthy approach earlier but when it doesn't stop the urge to spiral into a breakdown, Beca's prying open her extensive alcohol stash and Stacie ended up mixing said drink because they make a good team when it comes to consuming bad things.

The perfect drink, as she's described, for a special shitty day like this that will most likely infect the next coming weeks—or forever. So she doesn't hold back on pouring Rum, Vodka, Gin, Tequila, some blue stuff and other stuff into their glasses, muttering curses after gulping down said drink.

So now, there they were, lying down the floor of Beca's office, wasted and pouring out emotional sentiments that they would never say if sober.

"You're going home with us, in France," Beca replies lazily.

"What if it's Tom? I don't want to marry that pig… an angry pig with daddy issues," she frowns in disgust and Beca snorts.

"I won't let that happen, Stace,"

"Ugh, the sex will be horrible," she groans before her eyes go wide with horror, "Or he can't even get it up and I'm doomed to live the life of a hermit! I'll be a nun and I'm going to the convent!"

"He's not getting his slimy fingers on you," Beca slams down, in a drunk kind of a way.

"But there's that hot general uncle of theirs, right? Was it Ferdinand or Finn? Maybe he's available for some sinful activities," she relaxes back down, biting on her lower lip.

"Franco. He's married. Three kids,"

"No!" she wails. "Why are all the good ones taken?"

"Because life likes to fuck people in the ass," Beca sighs.

"Life is one kinky bastard,"

"Tell them that. Grab the mic on one of their boring parties and yell it out loud,"

"Maybe if I go unleash my wild side they'll hate me enough to ship me back," she mumbles before giggling at all the nasty ideas she's come up in her head.

"Maybe I should just kill them. Off with all their heads,"

"Okay, psychopath, let's not go there and besides, I don't like that movie. Alice in Wonderland is clearly a euphemism for getting high on drugs,"

Laughter bursts out in Beca's lips and Stacie is joining her a second later. When it dies down, silence overtakes it until the reality of what's to come starts to consume them once more.

"I'll talk to them. Settle another kind of agreement that doesn't involve you or any of our family members being forced into anything they don't want to do. If somebody has to suffer it should be me," Beca says and it quickly calls upon the tears Stacie's been trying to hold back all day.

"Or we could just agree to it," she quietly replies, eyes staring hard at a white dot on the ceiling.

When Beca shakes her head and prepares to assure her, she beats her to it, "I love you," she blurts out and her cousin stills.

"I love you and all our family. And if I have to do it for Stella, for Emily, for the twins, for Jesse and for Chloe, I'll do it in a heartbeat. If I need to be in Italy for you to finally get the happiness you clearly deserve, then I can leave now, right here and then,"

"And how does my cousin being forced to marry someone for the sake of my happiness make me happy?" Beca throws right back at her, eyes filled with anger and hurt but Stacie slowly sits up, legs crossed as she looks down at her.

"It's like you don't know me at all, Becs. I'll thrive in wherever anyone puts me in. You said it yourself, I'm the strongest Du Pont,"

"I know you," Beca emphasizes word for word as she sits up as well, arms resting on her knees, turning her head to look at her. "And that's the problem. I know how much you thrive on affection and love, real love. You believe in meet-cutes, slow motion moments, of fate and destiny more than anyone in the world. You're a walking romantic novel, Stacie Conrad, and that is why I'm never going to let this happen,"

Beca gets up and walks out of the office, leaving her decision to 'fix this' final and Stacie wonders when all of this would end. She's so exhausted, physically and emotionally yet there just seems to be no rest for her heart.

Her cousin was right, she thrives on love but then love isn't only reserved for romantic interests. It's a word that carries so much more to it than just that. Stacie loves and that love bleeds for the people she cares about the most.

She opens the door to her sister's and Emily's room. The girls are now sleeping soundly but Stacie's heart drops at the sight of her sister, eyes puffy and tissues loitering the side of her bed from all the crying. She knows that out of everyone it's her sister that's affected by this news the most. Stella always looked up to her, wanting to do the same things she's done and even though they may annoy each other, like any other siblings, they had each other's backs.

Crossing over to her sister's bed, she quietly crawls on top of it and lies down, wrapping her arms around Stella from behind. In the quiet of the day just before the sun sets, she lets her tears fall, broken sobs muffled against cottony pillows.

For the first time, she prays that the goddess of love would understand why she stopped fighting for her heart.


The sky is perfect tonight. The stars are shining brightly and Stacie looks up to smile at them. Jesse's big end of the school year party is obviously a success and half of Victor Barden's West Wing occupants are present. Blood, alcohol and food are overflowing while the music is pumping, the bass mixing with the beat of her heart. It surely feels like home. The noise, the laughter, the yelling and spur of the moment pool diving—Chloe's idea, raising up Beca's murderous side because soaked, see-through clothing and drunk, horny vampires is a bad mix. Stacie had to laugh when everyone crowding—ogling—the pool scrambles away like mice when her cousin stands up to eye them in a deadly manner.

Resting her head on Jesse's shoulder, she sighs, reveling in the moment of pure bliss.

"They've agreed to meet up tomorrow, the Vanderbilts," Jesse tells her after a minute of silence and Stacie hums, eyes falling over to her right where her sister is sitting.

Stella hasn't left her side all week, always next to her wherever they go and it's understandable so she doesn't say anything. Also, because she does need the company to keep her thoughts occupied.

But tonight was about having fun and her sister needs it.

"Please stop playing mother hen, be a teenager again and dance 'till you break or I'll call Chloe and have her push you down that pool. We'll be back in France in two days and your last two days of freedom shouldn't be wasted with your ass heating up that chair," she demands as they both glance at the redhead who has successfully pulled Beca down the water.

If Chloe has the dark broody Queen clumsily splashing into the pool resulting in the royal crown's security rushing over in panic from their hidden positions then no one is safe.

Stella is smart not to question that so she reluctantly gets up to join her friends.

The twins have spiked the drinks and are now shirtless, bodies smeared with red paint while playing music like rock stars in a rock festival. Earlier they have teamed up to smother her with hugs, unwanted hugs to be exact and really, they may still be the irritating but Stacie knows that they're just trying to make her smile—or scream in frustration.

"You should get up too and woo someone for some end of the school year steamy one-night love affair," she mutters to Jesse, nudging him gently with her shoulder as he smiles.

"Shouldn't you be doing that? It's my turn to be sober since Beca already has her hands full," he says before sighing at the sight of Beca giving a very excited Chloe a piggy back ride across the pool, "Redheads are wild," he adds with a smile.

Stacie chuckles and shakes her head, "So what, go get drunk, nothing's going to happen. And let them be, those two deserve to be wildly in love,"

Jesse stands and she thinks he'll heed her words but he holds on to her hands instead, "We all deserve to be wildly in love. Now, join me and lose control. It's our last two days of freedom!"

He pulls her to her feet and drags her to where the party is wild. She puts her arms around both Emily and her sister as they jump around to the beat. There's shots being downed in one go and then they're cheering loudly in delight. When the twins abandon the stage, they are all soon jumping in the pool with Beca and Chloe, all fully clothed and starting water wars with each other.

Stacie will never forget that night, the experience, the feeling and the comforting company of friends and of family.

She holds on to the memory, getting courage and strength from it as she looks down at the one-way airplane ticket to Italy. A trip that is scheduled tonight.

The house is filled with silence now, the aftermath of their party blowing all over their manor. They've all ended up passing out in the living room floor except for Beca and Chloe—who seemed to have had an after party of their own in their bedroom.

Stacie is not dumb. She knows the Vanderbilts will never settle for any other arrangement. They are being summoned by the Queen and obviously, they must comply but it doesn't mean that they would budge. The last thing she wants is Beca sacrificing her status to kneel down and beg for her sake.

If her last act of selflessness destroys that wall between the two families to pave the way for the future Vanderbilts and Du Ponts to live in peace then all of this wouldn't entirely be in vain. She looks at Emily, the thought of her growing relationship with Scott in her mind. One of the youngest Du Ponts admits it's a special friendship and Stacie knows there's no need to push. They can take their time and figure everything out for themselves. And when the time comes that they do, their union wouldn't be difficult. It'd be out of their own will, at the right time and met without objections or forced arrangements. At least, if ever any other Du Ponts cross to the Vanderbilts side, she'd make sure that they'd feel welcome. That it would still feel like home.

Tightening her hold on her luggage, she glances back at her cousins before returning to give a kiss on top of her sister's head, eyeing the letter she wrote for her sitting on the coffee table.

Having put on her blazing red leather jacket, she's just about to wear her red sunglasses when she hears noise from where she is standing in the foyer. Stopping, she listens as light footsteps make its way downstairs. Backing up to a corner, she stands still until she sees Chloe passing her by, speed-walking towards the door with her phone clutched tightly on one hand.

The redhead, having seemed to feel her presence from behind, pauses abruptly before turning to her. There's a playful smirk on Stacie's face and it's because she knows exactly what Beca's fiancée is up to. If there's one other person who knows about selflessness and courage, it has to be this walking ray of sunshine.

"Morning run?" she supplies, eyeing Chloe's definitely not for running attire—a simple flowery dress matched with cute blue flats.

"Uhm, uhh yeah…" Chloe, obviously lying, fumbles for an alibi but it's completely lost when her big bright blue eyes land towards her travelling bag, the one she's resting her elbows in.

"Where are you going?" there's dread in her voice and Stacie doesn't blame her, Chloe's pretty quick when it comes to figuring things out too. Gabin's apparently been sending her delicious desserts to woo her into joining the investigative department.

So she shrugs and looks down at the address, "Pescia, Tuscany. In—I'm not sure if I'm saying it right though—Viale Ga—,"

"Garibaldi," Chloe supplies, the name rolling out of her tongue with ease and how could it not when it's where Chloe has spent most of her childhood and summer vacations in.

"Ah, right. Is it going to be cold there this time of the year or is this alright" she gestures to her short shorts, midriff top and red leather jacket. "And by the way, what's the Italian for, 'Damn, that's hot' and 'I'm starving'. I need to know the important phrases,"

"Stace," Chloe shakes her head before meeting her eyes, "I should be the one brushing up on my French and the only time you are ever going to Italy is if I take you there on a vacation where we'll be drinking wine, stuffing ourselves with really good authentic Italian pizza, riding gondolas, posing funny pictures at the Leaning Tower of Pisa like every god damn tourist does and showing you fun places where I dragged Aubrey to,"

Stacie watches the passion fire up in the Vanderbilt's eyes and only after a couple of seconds does she reply, "Did you just do the infamous Italian gesture?" she jokingly teases, copying Chloe as she brings her fingers together.

"I'm serious, Stacie!" Chloe huffs in frustration and Stacie bites her tongue before she could tease some more, the smile slowly dying in her lips.

"Will you take care of them for me? Watch out for the twins and make sure that Stella… that she'll be okay. That she'll know why I did it, why I left," she exhales heavily, observing the mixture of emotions clearly passing on the Vanderbilt's face. Chloe's always been expressive.

"Beca will talk to them today. I will convince Aubrey to find something, anything to turn this thing around, Stace. We're working on it and you just have to trust us, okay?" Chloe desperately says before bringing up her phone then mumbling distractedly to herself,

"Although she's probably still on the plane and won't be answering my phone calls but I'll try, she should be landing in Florence by now,"

The Vanderbilts had all went to Italy, considering that it's only Aubrey, Arthur and Scott that were left in their Victor Barden manor. Claire had already joined her brother back in Italy weeks ago. Through Chloe, she knows that the Posen siblings had took separate flights since Arthur left the other day and well, Scott and Aubrey, as it seems, are just arriving.

Her chest tightens at the thought of her.

Not now, she tells herself as she clears her throat and puts a hand over Chloe's wrist to stop her from re-dialing Aubrey's number, the number which Stacie still has memorized and saved on her own phone, the one she's hidden under the name, Chocolate, because she found out about Aubrey's love for chocolate one day when she casually offered her some. How unforgettable the look of excitement in her eyes grew like a kid opening presents on Christmas day and how…

Carefree and happy she was.

"You have to watch out for Beca too because you know how she is when she gets upset, she goes down that dark place and believe me you're the only who can pull her out of it,"

"Stace it's—"

"It's going to be this way, Chloe. It has to," she presses on, moving forward to give Chloe a hug, blinking back her tears. "They aren't going to understand. They're going to be mad. Jesse is probably going to cry like a baby and everyone's going to feel like shit but that's why you're here. It's up to you now. Beca can't handle this all on her own so you go and be you, you adorable fluffy being. I'm counting on you, Chloe. I'm counting on you to let them know that I am happy to do this for them, for you and for Beca. That this, this is how I love," she pulls away to wipe Chloe's tear stained cheeks.

"I'm still invited to the wedding right? 'Cause you're invited to mine,"

"Of course you are!" Chloe sniffs, wiping away her own tears.

"This doesn't mean goodbye, silly," she says, playfully nudging the redhead with her shoulder. Chloe nods and Stacie knows that she's leaving them in good hands. "We'll all still be seeing each other when school comes around. You'll visit me in Italy because we need to do all those things you just said and they can't stop me from visiting you in France, okay? It's all good!" she puts her hands on both Chloe's shoulders.

There's conviction in her words and she likes to believe that it's all going to pull through perfectly. That it's all going to be fine. Even if she's not really sure she will be.

"I'll always be a Du Pont like you'll always be a Vanderbilt. We're all family now so smile. I hate tearful 'see you laters'," she reminds her and finally Chloe's lips curve upwards.

They hug again, this time tighter before Stacie heads for the door only to stop at Chloe's words.

"Aubrey… she,"

Stacie slowly turns to her, afraid of what she'll say, afraid that her words are going to re-open hidden wounds.

"She called you that night when I escaped with Emily's help. The night I got disowned, it was you Aubrey called wasn't it?"

And because Stacie doesn't do lies she answers, "Yes,"

She doesn't know if Chloe has some sort of sixth or seventh sense when she smiles knowingly but doesn't say anything else and Gabin should probably level up his efforts because the redhead will solve a lot of cases.

Once she steps outside, she looks back at Chloe and smiles.

"Later, Chlo Chlo,"

"See you later, Stace,"


"Welcome to Italy, Miss Conrad,"

The man, formally dressed from head to toe, who introduced himself as Davide greets her as soon as she steps out of the airport's arrival gate. After almost 15 hours, she's drained and longing for a warm bath. The travel time is slightly a little longer than her usual trips to Paris but she still feels like collapsing down the floor right then and there. She blames her lack of sleep despite flying on business class.

Guess, everything is just starting to sink in.

Davide seems nice, very approachable and eager to show her what is what as he escorts her to the waiting limousine. Who knew that one day she'd actually get to step in a Vanderbilt limousine? Weird.

Her eyes stay glued out at every place they pass by, watching the vibrant culture Italy is proud of. Now if she wasn't tired, she'd be capturing Instagram worthy photos. The thought that this would be her home now gives her a mixture of emotions.

Home, she misses her real home.

Soon, there's less of the modern city outside and more of wide lands, properties of the rich as Davide explains. The architecture is splendid but then it doesn't really surprise her. France is full of splendid architecture as well.

The limousine slows down and Stacie suddenly feels nervous. This would actually be the night when she meets the person she'd most likely spend this lifetime with. So, she's nervous as hell.

Hopefully, the Vanderbilts aren't so cruel to pair her up with the least attractive cousin or the unmarried uncle… or the angry pig with daddy issues.

The vehicle comes to a stop and Stacie gazes up the huge mansion—50 bedrooms according to Davide—that must have been centuries old. Outside, the garden is massive with two huge circular fountains. It's excessively luxurious even for someone like Stacie. Chloe wasn't exaggerating about how wealthy the Vanderbilts in Italy are.

But what really makes her heart drop is the person waiting outside for her.

Arthur Posen.

Even Aphrodite is unable to save her, as it turns out.

"I'm going to be a nun," she mutters sorrowfully to herself as she eyes the youngest Posen.

Stacie is not blind. Even before Aubrey had told her that Arthur is exclusively attracted to men, Stacie already knew he was gay. Nobody has a hairstyle as perfectly polished as that and be straight.

It's laughable, how her situation turned out. So here she was, arranged to be married to a—the wrong—Posen after all. The one who doesn't even want women. But it's not bad really, he's going to be a lawyer one day which means he's not the spoiled and lazy to work type. Studying law is hard so he's going to be busy even after he graduates which means less interaction. Although, Stacie is not ruling out the option of them becoming good friends in the long run. Who knows? Maybe they could exchange style ideas, gossip about men and paint each other's nails.

Fun.

All those thoughts vanish abruptly however, when she spots the Posen household's matriarch, Caterina Posen in her most regal stance from one of the mansion's first floor windows, looking down at her like she's bacteria.

Some in-laws are just nightmares and hers is most likely the nightmare of all nightmares.

"Great," she internally groans before walking up to Arthur who is kind enough to take one of her bags while the rest were left to his assistants. They both head up the steps and into the house.

"Buona sera," she greets Caterina politely, or as politely as she's ever been, with what she has learned from one of those in-flight magazines.

However, Arthur's mother neither replies nor smiles. Guess that's where Aubrey gets her icy glare. Instead, Caterina looks her up and down like she's in some modeling audition and then just leaves without a word, her assistants trailing behind her.

"This way," Arthur breaks the silence as she turns around to find him motioning over to the opposite direction.

Following him, she lets out a breath, "Wow, that was, uhm, the warmest welcome I've ever received," she comments sarcastically as he shakes his head, a thin smile in his lips.

"You'll have to get used to that. You're lucky someone's already managed to emotionally exhaust her by pissing her off earlier and now she's… calm," he explains as he takes her to one of the rooms.

"That's calm?" she asks softly in disbelief.

She was about to comment about how calm is not looking like you want to hang someone upside down where Nile crocodiles swim below when a loud crash echoes from one of the upper floors making her chest jump. They both pause, looking up at the ceiling. In a second, there's another violent bang before silence occupies the whole mansion again. Looking back at Arthur, who shrugs and proceeds to walk, Stacie frowns, clutching her handbag to her chest and looking around for any sign of harm before rushing to follow the younger Posen.

"Sorry about that," Arthur apologizes, sounding like it's something of a regular occurrence in the house. He turns to the right and Stacie eyes the dreary looking dark hallways. "Thomas... hasn't been himself ever since but don't worry about that,"

Horror films must've had gotten inspirations from this mansion and now she is questioning her decision to pull through with this arrangement because clearly, this is like being exiled to the Amityville horror house. The Du Ponts have their centuries old mansions but they are nothing like this at all. They've had a lot of architects and engineers in the family that their mansions have had changes through the years in order to get with the times. Something this place really needs.

"Calm seems to run in the family," she mutters as they finally enter a room. It was nice, fancy and all with the classic furniture but really not her taste. She's most likely to change it though so that's not really a permanent problem.

Maybe she could try to find a way to get the whole mansion re-painted into a happier color. Some cute, homey decor would work too. And now she wonders if they've even put up any Christmas decorations last December. The thought of a young Aubrey and Arthur spending their childhood in such a gloomy atmosphere feels depressing. She could see a seven year old Aubrey running happily through the hallways only to be scolded by her mother because 'running isn't for ladies' and proceed to have her go back to her room to study or practice playing piano.

A thought suddenly enters her mind and her tongue itches to let it out.

"Is Aubrey here?" she weakly asks, the temptation to big for her to resist. She can't help it.

The question has Arthur's brow arching up after he stops to look at her curiously, arms crossing in front of him. "And why are you looking for her?" he asks in a tone that Stacie can't decipher if it's something positive or negative.

Stacie hates lying but she also doesn't think that now is the time to cause problems with her future husband. Having to find out that your future wife has had intimate, very intimate, nights with your sister isn't a good start if you want to have a successful marriage.

"U-Uhm, she's the new head of the house, right? I just... wanted to get in her good side," she says, tripping over her words a bit and lying isn't really healthy for her. It's like she's about to get sun fever.

The younger Posen studies her for a couple of moments before nodding his head making it possible for Stacie to exhale and breathe again.

"Don't think too much about that. I'll let you rest for a bit. We have a long trip later, in an hour or two, so it's best to freshen up and eat before we travel," Arthur tells her and Stacie swiftly looks back at him in surprise.

"Where are we going?"

Anywhere but here, she'd extremely appreciate.

"Castiglione," he simply says as if she should know this by now but due to the lost look in her face he adds, "Castiglione della Pescaia. Still in Tuscany. It's a couple of hours away by car. Well, that is if you'd prefer staying here with my mother breathing down your neck twenty-four seven?"

That breaks her stupor and she's nodding eagerly, "Right, no, I don't want that," Silence then, "Can we leave in an hour though?" she asks hopefully and when he mumbles with an ,'Understandable', she finds that maybe this arrangement can work after all.

Turns out, she only needs twenty minutes in the shower and fifteen minutes of eating before she's letting the assistants know that she's ready. Nobody can blame her if the walls feel like Caterina's cold eyes watching her every move.

Surprisingly, Arthur takes the wheel of what seems to be his own private car, a gold Lamborghini Aventador—which is of course very Italian—and Stacie is more than eager to hop in. She doesn't even look back as they drive off with two escort security cars, relieved to be staying far away from Caterina.

Their trip stretches to about almost two and a half hours. The sight of various places which Arthur points out has her excited for a much proper tour in the coming days. She's already contemplating calling Chloe as they almost reach their destination.

The surroundings are lush green and the town looked very peaceful and full of color that if she were on a vacation right now she'd want to stay forever. Sticking her hand out the window, she feels the warm breeze and breathes in the scent of the ocean. She wonders why they never took summer trips to Italy because this right here would've been one of the best vacations.

Of course, deep down she knows why.

It's the same reason why the Vanderbilts don't go to France.

They go off the main road and in a couple of minutes, Stacie is staring at the place she'd soon call home. The villa wasn't as big as the mansion earlier but it was really pretty and much more modern. There's a flight of cobbled steps you have to take to get to the main house but she's not really bothered by a little exercise. Her body might very well have been sculpted by the gods but that doesn't mean she can maintain it like that without hitting the gym.

As soon as she reaches the top what takes her breath away is the view overlooking the ocean. As if it isn't enough, there's an infinity pool near the edge and to be honest, it's like this little piece of paradise away from the noise, the drama, the problems and even the pollution. She's already envisioning having tea every evening on one of those chair hammocks by the pool when Arthur calls her name.

"Your bags are already up in your room," he says after having a quick tour of the place downstairs. "So, now that everything's all settled, I'll be on my way,"

His words snaps her from her thoughts and suddenly she feels like she hasn't been given the memo because now Arthur is leaving.

"Wait, you aren't going to live here?" she asks, the prospect of having the place to herself rather than the thought that her husband to be isn't keen on sleeping under the same room as her, makes this situation much better.

"Absolutely not. I doubt your betrothed would want that and I hate to be the third wheel in this matrimonial home so, best of luck and I'd like to say 'Welcome to the family' but I'll save it until after the wedding," he says in a matter-of-fact tone before looking up to whoever it is behind her.

"Fiancée delivered and handled with care just as you requested. My job is done, I'm out. Have fun, don't call me tomorrow because I'll be on a date and please don't kill each other even though I'd very much want to see her kick your ass," he sighs before leaving, one hand waving goodbye in the air.

"Thanks Art," the voice behind her speaks and Stacie freezes.

Her heart beat accelerates and when she looks around to find the source, suddenly she feels like hiding or running away, far from everything.

Because it hurts.

It hurts how beautiful she still is. How the fabric of her dress perfectly molds her curves. How those eyes haven't lost the power to pull her and hold her still. How those lips still keep calling her for a taste. How her heart still…

"Aubrey,"

It's strange, uttering that name after quite a while. She remembers going to extremes just to avoid her because she fears that the mere sight of the Vanderbilt would just make her cave, to give in to the urge to go to her and break her promise of staying away.

"Stacie," the Vanderbilt smiles lightly before adding, "How was… the flight?"

It's a poor attempt of stalling the awkwardness and Stacie quickly decides to help her. If anything, she doesn't want the Vanderbilt to feel in any way uncomfortable in her own home.

Home. It suddenly occurs to her that this is more or less the property Aubrey had talked to her about before everything… ended. This was that quiet villa she was given as a graduation gift by her grandfather. The one she goes to whenever she wants to get away from her overbearing mother. The one that you could see the ocean from a distance and be comforted by the beauty it offers.

"It was great. If you don't count those incidents regarding snoring and farting in confined spaces but no worries, I survived all that. Also, your mother is super charming. A woman of… very, very few words," she grimaces at the thought and that's enough to make Aubrey's smile widen.

Her heart almost explodes at the sight.

"I'm sorry about that. Glad to know you passed through her unscathed. Not many people have been lucky," she nods, "I would have picked you up at the airport but I got caught up with some important matters," she suddenly explains even though personally, Stacie doesn't know why and somehow, she looked nervous.

She didn't have to feel that way though and it only makes Stacie guilty because she knows she's causing it. Because she made everything difficult the moment she confessed her feelings.

"Have you eaten yet? I've actually just arrived a couple of minutes before you came and I was about to grab something to eat,"

The offer is really tempting and months ago, Stacie would have eagerly said yes but then it is wishful thinking to interpret Aubrey's tone into something close to hopeful. The truth is Aubrey is polite and being polite is offering people these things for the sake of their comfort.

"Oh I'm already full. I don't know what kind of bribe you've given your brother before this but, contrary to popular belief, he has actually been a good host and fed me before the trip," she says, keeping her tone light and natural as much as possible.

"Actually, I'd really like to get some rest. It's been a really long day," she adds and before she knows it Aubrey is leading the way to her room.

Trailing behind, she inhales only to get a whiff of the Vanderbilt's perfume and images of those evenings waking up next to her cloud her head. It's strange to feel a million of things for one person yet be unable to act upon it.

When she enters her room, she takes note of the beautiful art hanging on the walls, all her favorites. It's cozy, that's the first thing that comes to mind as her gaze wanders to the bed, inviting and comfy. The colors are warm and she appreciates the small touch of France in some certain pieces—that Eiffel Tower pillow is cute. Needless to say everything meets her taste. As if she herself had decorated it.

As if someone really cared to consider her preferences.

"I wasn't sure how you'd like to decorate your room. If you want to change or add anything feel free to do so," Aubrey breaks her thoughts and again she hears it, the discomfort in her tone. She doesn't even turn around to know that the Vanderbilt is fidgeting—which must be a Vanderbilt habit in all awkward situations since Chloe does the same thing too.

"It's nice. I like it. Well, so much better than that holding room back at your mother's place. Thank you," she genuinely says and it earns another smile.

The air between them slowly goes back to that stifling awkwardness and by the looks of it, Aubrey's about to bring up the one thing Stacie is trying to avoid. It's too early for things as heavy as that but she also knows that the quicker they get it out of their chest, the better.

"Stace I just—"

"I'm not mad at you," she blurts out in the calmest way possible and she wonders why she hasn't won awards yet for 'best in feigning nonchalance'.

She sits down the edge of the bed, seemingly testing its 'bounce factor'—wherein which she softly bounces her ass on top of cushions to test how comfy they are—and finds that it's the queen of all beds with how perfect it feels.

"I'm the safe choice," she follows just a moment later before Aubrey could say otherwise because she doesn't want to hurt Stacie's feelings.

She eyes the soft fabric, running her hands along it as she gives Aubrey a light smile. "I'm not saying I am but I'm probably the most Vanderbilt qualified out of all my cousins. I've got the looks, the body and most importantly, the brains," she points out playfully before settling her eyes back on the interior of the room.

"What I mean is, I'm glad I'm not marrying your brother 'cause we all know that this," she motions over to her long legs, "Is something he will never appreciate and I'm pretty sure that you find yourself lucky not to be paired to one of the twins for obvious reasons. Or Emily because then Scott is going to hate you for all eternity. Or my sister because she's got so much sass that you're going to age so fast with her as your wife," she rolls her eyes at the thought.

"Or Jesse because," she pauses at that because it makes her wonder. "Actually, you and Jesse might get along. You can plan social affairs together. He's lovable, if you get pass his addiction to those dramatic movies and series he binges every night," she sighs fondly at the thought.

"Besides," she adds, "At least, we're already familiar with each other's bedroom habits so, there's that,"

Aubrey looked like her cheeks could match the shade of red on Stacie's jacket and she remembers how adorable it was, teasing her.

Maybe they could at least be friends.

"I'm just saying that you don't really have to put so much effort. I'm open to everything. If there's something I need to do, change or some rules to follow then I'm willing to comply. And also, thank you for finding a way for Beca and Chloe to be together. I know you care for Chloe as much as I care for Beca. If this is the only way for that wedding to happen then I'll do it," she swallows hard.

"And I'm… I'm sorry, that it had to be this way,"

Sorry that now you have to be stuck with me for the rest of your life whether you like it or not.

Somehow, the Vanderbilt looked like she was going to say something, a frown passing her features after saying everything she's said and Stacie decides that discussing this situation any longer would break her further.

Fearing that Aubrey's next words could most likely be a string of apologies or something similar to 'I know that you're in love with me and the sex is good but I don't feel the same way even if we are bound to be tied to each other in this lifetime' which is going to literally kill her. So, she quickly jumps ahead before any of that could be said to save herself.

"Wow. I really need to sleep. I guess I'm just going to pass out here for a couple of hours," she breathes out. "And this bed is calling me,"

There's conflict and disappointment in Aubrey's eyes but Stacie isn't entirely sure because apparently, when it comes to her she reads everything wrong.

Like the time she thought Aubrey might actually feel the same way only to find that once bloodline reputation and responsibilities come calling, she's easily discarded to the side.

Ultimately, her act is bought and Aubrey seems to have thought twice about it, "Okay, if you need anything—"

"I'll let you know," she quickly assures her even though all she planned to do is stay inside her room for as long as she can.

The door closes and finally she shakily releases the breath she's been holding all this time, eyes closed to stop the tears as she places a hand to her wildly beating heart.

It's been more than a month.

It shouldn't hurt this much anymore.

But she must never tell Aubrey that.


Two weeks ago.

Vanderbilt Manor, Victor Barden.

Aubrey sighs heavily, massaging her temples as voices of her relatives argue over the video conference call they are having. They were all miles away from her yet it still feels like they were all at the same room. She's exhausted, mentally. It doesn't help that prior to this drama, she's already emotionally drained. Sleeping was hard and her focus lost to matters that are not about politics or college. The mess in her head has been going on for a month but despite that she has responsibilities to hold. So, back to the drama.

The ongoing argument?

Beca and Chloe's union.

Turns out, the house of Vanderbilt has suddenly been divided into two. One side in favor of having a Vanderbilt sharing the crown. The other, against said union and are bent on calling Chloe an outcast due to her actions many moons ago.

"She's not considered as a part of this family the moment she left! And even if she is, this only means that her loyalty will ultimately be towards the Du Ponts! This is not going to benefit us at all and we are going to have a Queen marrying an outcast! Vanderbilt blood mixing with a Du Pont!"

Aubrey grits her teeth at the offensive term but keeps her mouth shut. Leaders are supposed to be neutral and should be open to listening to every side.

"And what about their child? Sooner or later, they're going to have one. That child, whether you like it or not, is both Du Pont and Vanderbilt which makes him or her powerful! A child carrying two bloodlines that have never united before. Think about it? It'll benefit us all!"

Okay, maybe the side in favor's motives are as outrageous as the opposition but at least it's a much better option.

"That's the point, they're going to have a child! Or children! Children which would gain so much advantage in votes once they have a turn at the high seat then eventually, the throne and whose flag do you think they'd carry? Of course, it's going to be red!"

Aubrey gives another heavy sigh as her gaze wanders far away, back into forest green eyes that sometimes turn gray, dark brown tresses swaying under strobe lights and the safety of relaxing arms where she could sink into forever without any worries of being judged or corrected. She can just be… herself.

"Aubrey,"

"Huh?" she abruptly tunes back in to find herself at the center of everyone's attention.

"What's your verdict on the matter?" one of her uncles asks, looking exasperated at her lack of interest but is unable to do anything. She holds the final say in everything now.

She looks at expectant faces, one of them, her mother's and Aubrey swallows hard, hands clasped down her lap with her thumb nail digging into the skin near her wrist. Her mother has always been the bane of her existence. Despite the resentment and anger she harbors, she's feared her ever since she was a child—ever since she was born.

It's not good enough. Again. She grew up with those words along with much harsher ones that have followed her up until this day.

You're nothing if you're not on top.

And what do you think? That love is going to bring you success? Love is a distraction.

Do it again until you perfect it!

Again!

She closes her eyes, deep in thought as a swirl of memories continue to assault her. She has to be better. She has to be on top. She has to be perf—

"I love you," a voice softly whispers, soothingly and sincerely. It's small and far away but it's there, strong enough to wash away the pain with words that no one has ever told her.

Opening her eyes once more, she straightens up, head held high as she faces them all, the final decision planted firmly in her mind.

"I see no harm in this union," she lifts up her hand when voices erupt to silence them all once more. "A Vanderbilt sharing the crown with a Du Pont is something that calls for a celebration rather than this childish uproar,"

Protests from several people start to burst again but she stands her ground, eyes now focused on her own seething mother. "This senseless rivalry needs to end and therefore I propose a solution that will benefit everyone,"

To be honest, from that moment onwards it's as if she has lost all control. Her emotions had run so high that she couldn't stop herself.

Stop herself from being selfish.

It was only that moment, one evening, when Chloe looks at her like she's ruined her whole world does it finally occur to her, what she had just done. The letter she herself wrote, all words straight from heart, the agreement she had forcibly proposed, lay crumbled down the ground where Beca had harshly thrown it.

Chloe picks it up, staring at it as if it will just vanish if she keeps looking at it. It doesn't take long until she's facing Aubrey again.

"But why… why does it have to be Stacie?" her cousin weakly asks, eyes pleading for her to revoke her decision, to change her mind.

But no, she will never yield, no matter how much Chloe begs.

Why stop now when she's already at this point?

"I'm sorry, Chloe. She just fits all the qualifications,"

It's a lie. The truth was just so hard to admit, even to the cousin she's dearly close to. How can she even begin to explain it if she confessed the real reason. That Stacie was…

The one I want. I don't care about anything else anymore. She wasn't just a casual affair. I want her back. I need to hold her close to me again because if I spend one more day without her, without seeing her face or hearing her voice, I might just die.

Aubrey knows she's caused havoc amongst the Du Ponts. She doesn't even spare a glance at Stella's face as she leaves, knowing that if she does then everything just might sink in and crumble.

That Aubrey's the reason why she won't be going back to France with her sister ever again. That she's the villain of their story.

But she pushes all of those thoughts aside and instead, she does what she does best, plan.

She makes a couple of calls to Italy, hiring all the best people she knows in order to come up with a room Stacie might like. One of the bedrooms in her own home comes to mind, it's as huge as her own room and closer, just a couple of feet away. A room that the Du Pont can occupy until they get married.

It has to be of the finest quality only.

She spends extra time deciding on the colors, the theme and art to be displayed. Stacie likes paintings that speak of anything about love. There has to be books too. The brunette reads a lot, surprising her when she recognizes Aubrey's favorite authors and proceeds to give her opinion about their works. Of course, she also purchases the latest stereo player, high definition sound systems and a uniquely designed CD rack to be hung on the wall filled with Stacie's favorite songs. Stacie loved to dance.

It's insane how she goes through every detail meticulously, her entire focus having been just that, intense. So intense that she almost breaks one of the family figurine heirlooms on top of her desk when Chloe opens the door to her office without even as much as a knock. She's never clicked the exit button on her laptop so fast.

Her cousin ends up begging her to change their minds. If only Chloe knew, it was all her. That none of their relatives could do anything about it as soon as it left her lips. And yet, even as Chloe tells her that it's wrong and unfair, Aubrey doesn't break. Purity of a bloodline be damned, nothing can change her mind. She wants to yell it out loud, desperately.

Can't you see how much I need her? She's all I want. She's the only one I want and she will be mine.

But what leaves her lips are, "I can't do anything about it, Chlo. You know that it's all for the best. Don't worry, I'll make sure that she's treated with the highest respect,"

All these lies. They make her want to vomit.

"And who is she marrying?"

The question throws her off. She's not really sure if she wants Chloe to know. Her mother has already sent her a letter, her very strong objections to her 'plans' written in it.

"Actually… we're still deciding,"

Another lie. She's already made it clear from her proposal that it will be her. This caused another uproar amongst her relatives but she slams all their protests down. It was final and done. Her engagement to Lorenzo already broken with this decision. She doesn't want him.

Chloe tries to convince her all week but to no avail. She'd never budge.

Finally, Beca calls for a private meeting with them and because she's made it clear that they can't refuse, Aubrey agrees. Only it doesn't happen because two nights before her flight to Italy, Scott brings in the news she's dying to hear.

"She's agreed to the arrangement,"

At first she doesn't comprehend what he's suddenly informing her of until he explains that Stacie called him—after acquiring his number from Emily.

"It's not a decision the rest of the family agrees upon so she requests that it's done quietly," he continues but Aubrey's mind is still stuck on one thought.

That she called Scott and not her. And that bothers her.

Pushing that aside for now, she nods before picking up her phone to prepare for whatever is necessary. There's a one-way plane ticket on one of her drawers and it's been there since two weeks ago. She takes it out, looking at it for a while. When she's done with the calls, she realizes that she'll never get any work done in her state. It's all happening and she's still having a hard time believing it.

She agreed.

She's going to see her.

Aubrey is nervous. She can't eat. She can't sleep. She can't think. She's seriously lost it when she's burnt the eggs she was cooking because of all the anxious thoughts in her head. All she's ever done is make sure that she's got everything covered while her mind runs off with all the what ifs. Everyone else thinks it the stress of leading their bloodline but deep down, it's not that.

What if she doesn't like the room?

What if she doesn't like the house?

What if she hates me?

What if she… doesn't feel that way anymore?

The last thoughts almost gives her a panic attack. She's never had those since high school but with what's going on in her life right now, she might as well have them again.

Eventually, the day comes and Aubrey's composure is all over the place that she's unable to sit still. How she even managed to pull through travelling towards her villa, she doesn't know. When she gets out of the limousine, she heads straight up to check on the room—and everything else. She's worried about everything even the smallest of things that she arrives late to her Aunt Gianna's invitation. It's her 143rd birthday and it's definitely an occasion that cannot be missed.

It's no surprise when she feels eyes watching her, the whole family now knows of what she's recently decided and heads are shaking. Her first few weeks as head of the high seat and there she was, breaking tradition. Hopefully, the hours trickle down fast because she may not look like she cares but having to be the center of gossip is unsettling. All her life, she's done everything to please others and now, she's doing the opposite and changing history.

Guess, she and the Queen herself aren't so different after all in that sense.

Time passes by slow but it does pass and Aubrey already feels like throwing up. Her anxiety is making her feel really sick. She's gotten a call from her brother, informing her that Stacie is already at the Vanderbilt's Iron Mansion. It's centuries old, built when Kings and Queens ruled Italy. The Posens were already powerful then, a noble family that should never be crossed. It's the Vanderbilt bloodline's main residence, three huge mansions interconnected together, and is shared by every family member. It's where she and her brother had spent their childhood in before moving to a much modern residence in New York.

Anxious thoughts aside, it frustrates her that she can't be there right now. Having Stacie meet her mother is making her worry. As much as possible she'd like to keep the Du Pont very far from Caterina Posen. She hates to think of Stacie having such a depressing first impression of Italy because of her mother.

But all that is forgotten when finally, she hears the cars arrive. Arthur's turbo engines roaring on the front gates. Her brother loves fast luxury cars and loves it even more that it irritates her whenever he'd like his presence be known by revving it up loudly. Now, there's a reason why she chose a peaceful neighborhood and it's because loud race cars aren't in it.

Her senses goes into overdrive, however, when she sees Stacie getting out of the car as if she owned it. Stepping away from her window, she tries to calm herself with the fact that she's here.

She's finally here.

She hears people bringing up Stacie's bags as she steps out the door to make sure they don't mess anything up. When they leave, she slowly walks to the balcony overlooking the floor below. Her eyes follow long brunette locks outside and it seems that Stacie has found interest in the large infinity pool. She's not surprised though, the stunning pool sitting at the edge of the cliff and the heavenly view of the ocean far away was one of the few reasons she escapes to this place whenever she feels down.

When Arthur calls Stacie inside, Aubrey finally lets out a shaky breath and quietly makes her way down, her heart pounding uncontrollably that she's sure that they could all hear it.

"Thanks, Art," she finally speaks.

Stacie's shoulders stiffen although subtly but Aubrey catches this. Having spent so much time together for months, she's memorized her little quirks and reactions by heart. They are all burned in the back of her mind.

The Du Pont turns around to her, having pieced everything together, and Aubrey feels her chest constrict. Stacie is very beautiful and it's been so long. It feels like it's been years. She's missed her so much. So, so much. Those eyes had plagued her dreams and that voice, it follows her everywhere she goes. Always comforting her in times of pain. There had been countless times where she almost breaks and turns around to go find it. To find what she's let slip away and get it back only to stop herself at the last minute.

She has now though. She's right here, in front of her.

"Aubrey"

She almost loses it when she hears her say her name and she wonders why she's still alive after that.

But she spoke too soon because maybe she'd rather be dead than watch as everything finally falls apart. Words she wished she could say left unsaid and buried behind fear, a habit she hasn't gotten rid of.

"I'm the safe choice,"

You're not. Please don't say that.

It's like a punch to the gut when she realizes, finally faces, the gravity of what she's done.

"I'm just saying that you don't really have to put so much effort,"

But for you, I will. Say the word and I'll do it. All of it, I did for you. Only for you.

It hurts, the sting bouncing back in waves. Her smile no matter how genuine it looked never fully reaches her eyes. Her words although said casually and light holds no life in them. It wasn't how she used to remember it. This isn't how it's all supposed to go. This isn't the Stacie she knows. This is the broken version of the girl who has so much love to give.

"If there's something I need to do, change or some rules to follow then I'm willing to comply,"

Nothing. Change nothing. I don't want you to. Just be yourself.

All these weeks and finally the weight of it all catches up with her. Everything she's done to avoid it and now it's being slapped at her face.

"If this is the only way for that wedding to happen then I'll do it,"

She wants to say something. To correct her. To tell her that that's not the reason why. Why she's done all this and struggled to fight for it in the way she knows best. But she finds herself being shut out, pushed far away helplessly.

It's because I want you to be here. With me. To be mine.

The door closes with the last image of Stacie staring out in the window longingly, waking her up from this delusion she had hid behind of, what she's been blinded to see from the very beginning.

Rushing back to her room, she heads straight into the bathroom, locking herself in it and opening the faucet of her bathtub. Water rushes out, flowing down the drain as she slowly slips down the floor, hands muffling her sobs as her tears fall nonstop.

"And I'm… I'm sorry, that it had to be this way,"

The words Stacie uttered last linger in her head and stay there. It sounds too deep to mean just as she says it. Sorry for what? For getting tired of waiting? For losing my love for you?

It aches everywhere. It aches like nothing she's ever felt before and she doesn't know how to make it stop. She crumbles even more as the realization haunts her.

She's taken Stacie away from her own home, from her loved ones, from the freedom she so loves. And for what? To be a prisoner in this house, complying orders and doing what she is told to do. She's successfully dragged her into this miserable life, Aubrey's life.

What has she done?

What makes her different from Tom then when here she was doing the same thing he almost did to Chloe?

What makes her different from her parents when she's running uncontrollably down the same path herself?

Truly…

Aubrey Posen always gets what she wants.

But now she has everything, she's not sure if she deserves it.


When Aubrey was young, she badly wanted this pretty red doll. She wanted it so much she begged and cried about it to her parents. Her father could buy it in just a snap of his fingers but before he could, there was her mother, harshly dragging her away from the store by the arm. She gets strongly reprimanded for behaving so un-Vanderbilt like and she cries harder because of that. That, and the pain of her mother's grip.

In order to make her stop—being an embarrassment—her mother finally strikes a deal with her.

Become top of the class and the doll is hers.

It's how it all started to be honest. At a tender age of eight, there she was fighting for that golden spot just so she could get what she wants. She's desperate enough to sabotage Rosa Colombo's project because it looked really pretty and Aubrey was sure she'd get first if she doesn't do anything.

She wins over and over again, by intelligence and by foul play, just to possess whatever she desires, not caring if she destroys someone's feeling because of it until it's plain obvious that it's not about the toys or the expensive materials anymore. It's about her struggle to gain her mother's approval. That maybe if she was good enough, she'd stop hurting her and love her instead.

Apparently, she hasn't gotten rid of that habit.

Buying everything and everyone for their affection.

Stacie doesn't come out of her room the whole night, or at least, until Aubrey's back in her room.

She finds out about it when sleep doesn't come to her and goes down for a cup of tea only to find the Du Pont sitting on the tiles near the infinity pool, knees tucked to her chest as she gazes out on the ocean where the skies are starting to lighten up. The sun will be up in an hour or two so Aubrey abandons her quest for tea. Because Stacie is clearly avoiding her and she doesn't want to make her feel uncomfortable.

It only fills her with guilt and shame.

As quietly as possible she retreats back to her room where she curls up in bed, hoping that tomorrow night would be better. When she hears the soft click of the door across her room, she closes her eyes, a tear rolling down her cheek.

The sun shines and then sets, making way for another evening, an evening of more misery. They ate in silence. Sometimes Stacie would comment about something just to alleviate the awkwardness even for a little bit and Aubrey tries not to look right into forest green eyes.

Because if she does, the unbearable guilt might just be too much for her heart to handle.

As much as she wants to get close to the Du Pont, she stops herself. Her hand itches to hold Stacie's and she forces back the tears that threaten to spill. She has no right to do that.

Not when she's torturing the woman she loves.

She knows about torture. She lived a life witnessing it. Growing up to have this distorted version of what love is. That it doesn't exist and happily ever afters in fairytales are a lie. She saw it in her parents and knows that the toxic cycle continues if things were to go according to her plans. And now she fears that she'd turn Stacie into someone who doesn't believe in love, someone who has lost faith in it and lets the hatred conquer her. It scares her because now she knows that when you love someone, their happiness would always be a priority.

No matter how many jokes or smiles Stacie gives, Aubrey recognizes that none of them really come from the heart. Because she knows what they look like, she's seen them and felt them.

It's not this.

Stacie is not happy.

Not wanting to suffocate her further, Aubrey suggests that Stacie take a small tour of the town with Davide. Having nothing else to do, it's not surprising how eager the Du Pont jumps on the prospect of wandering off for the whole night. She tries not to give in to the hurt, to the thought that Stacie seems too eager to fly away from her grasp.

However, as soon as Stacie leaves, Aubrey doesn't get to breathe and decide on what to do because her mother is at the door. It's a very good distraction and thankfully, she's successful in putting Stacie far away from Caterina's reach but still, this confrontation fills her with dread. She had promised herself that as long as Stacie is with her, protecting her would be first on her priorities. To shield her from harsh words and painful insults.

Also, based on years of experience, none of her mother's visits are any good.

"You're making a huge mistake," her mother's voice chills the whole place despite it being warm.

Aubrey walks straight to the dining area, trying to tune her out but Caterina is right on her heels.

"You ignore all my letters, humiliating Lorenzo who is your perfect match by rejecting him and aggressively demanding to taint our purity of blood just so you could take that ill-bred Du Pont as your wife. You think I don't know about her various romantic conquests? That girl is better as a courtesan than a lady worthy of sharing the high seat and your name. For god's sake, you're the head of this bloodline now! You must have children with pure Vanderbilt blood. If you want peace within this family then throw her away to somebody else! Give her to Thomas! Poor boy's gone insane and all, nobody would care!" her mother lashes out but despite that Aubrey stands still, her trembling hands balling up into fists as she musters all the courage she has.

She focuses on the anger boiling inside her. Focuses on the words that make her want to fight back just as hard. How much it enrages her with how her mother talks about Stacie as some sort of object to be passed around like a worthless piece of toy and to the cousin she hates the most, of all people.

"No," the word is said in a low voice but it's loud enough.

It's loud because Aubrey's never defied her mother and it's obvious with the way Caterina's eyes look at her in surprise. Aubrey's never talked back against her, never blatantly disobeyed her orders and stood her ground until now. Aubrey was the obedient child. Arthur is the Posen who's always clashed with their mother but never Aubrey. Aubrey was the golden girl of the family.

She is the eldest Posen and with that, the weight in her shoulders are heavier than Arthur's. Every move she makes is careful and calculated. She's supposed to be the epitome of true class, the perfect image of the house of Vanderbilt.

Until Stacie.

"You don't talk about her like that," her voice shakes but she boldly takes another step forward.

"I will not let you insult the woman I will marry or disrespect her. She's the girl I choose and I would rather kill myself than be married to someone who I don't lo—" she says through gritted teeth, stopping herself but not in time for her mother's eyes to widen and piece it all together.

Her mother inhales sharply before exhaling shakily, emotions clearly running high as she tries to compose herself yet it's clear that it isn't exactly working. She shakes her head, denial etched on her face, "You do not have feelings for that girl," she hisses in a hushed tone but Aubrey is done bottling everything up.

She's done hiding.

"But I do!" she screams, her vision watering as she finally admits it out loud, her whole body shaking.

"I do," she repeats in softer tone. "I can feel, mother. I'm not made of stone and I will fight for this feeling even if it ends in flames because unlike you I am not afraid to give my heart to someone who makes me happy. No amount of success can ever give me that kind of happiness. There's strength in love and I pity you because you're too blind to find it. I pity my father for living with a woman like you. And I pity myself for having a mother like you!"

The sharp sound of a palm against cheek painfully resounds through the walls of the house but it's not new and as usual, Aubrey's eyes turn empty. She's used to it anyway. How many times has she been in this position before?

A lot.

Where else had she learned how to hide bruises under make-up?

"How dare you!" Caterina shrieks angrily.

Another slap and Aubrey takes it, welcoming the sting. Her tears fall yet she doesn't back down, doesn't make an effort to stop it. It's a better this way rather than face the fact that her own mother has never loved her, even once. Never considered that all these years she's yearned for love and now she's found it.

How precious it is to her.

She'd rather bleed to death than take back what she's said. She's meant every word and she doesn't regret it. If anything, it feels liberating and she wonders why it took her this long to do so.

Her mother's arm swings in the air again and Aubrey hopes she does it hard enough to make her unconscious because there's no way she'd change her mind.

But the slap never came.

"Good evening, Mrs. Posen,"

The voice makes Aubrey quickly whip her head up, bringing her back to life, panic rushing through her veins and her heart thudding loudly.

And how could it not when what she has feared is right in front of her. Stacie standing between Aubrey and her mother, the Du Pont holding Caterina's wrist to stop it from hitting her. It's really a sight to behold as her mother's face seemed like it was torn between disbelief and outrage. She's never seen her like that.

"Stay out of this, Du Pont!" her mother coldly says as soon as she takes her hand away from Stacie's grasp like she's been burned.

"Forgive me but I cannot do that," Stacie replies calmly, completely shielding Aubrey away from her as she moves to face Caterina squarely.

"I am to take the Vanderbilt name soon and technically, you are in our house which makes this my business. I have no objections to having you here as you are after all my fiancée's mother and I respect that but—"

"Stace, it's no—"Aubrey tries to intervene, taking a step forward to take all of her mother's wrath. She'd rather it be her suffering than Stacie.

Suddenly, she feels Stacie's hand tightly clasp around hers instead and just like that everything seems to feel better, the heavy weight she's been carrying and the guilt following her fading away.

"But," Stacie continues, voice steady. "I cannot tolerate you hurting her like that. My fiancée has a beautiful face and I like to look at it without bruises. Ever. As the future wife of the head of this house, protecting her is my number one priority. I will not allow you to come here again if you are unable to control such animalistic behavior. It's very un-Vanderbilt like, Mrs. Posen," she says and although her tone isn't as aggressive as her words, it feels like huge verbal punch nonetheless.

Caterina looked like she broke a nerve and Aubrey is too stunned to even react. Nobody has ever talked like that to Caterina Posen.

"Now, with all due respect, I'm asking you to leave so we could all call it a night," she says smoothly without even blinking, a hand motioning over to the door, "Or would you rather we call all the family elders for a meeting to discuss these issues in a much more civil way?" she asks and this time the sarcasm cannot be hidden in it.

It's probably comparable to advance sorcery when after an extremely tense silence Caterina growls and spins in her heels to leave, the door banging loudly. She may have said a lot of offensive and threatening words but Aubrey cannot hear them as she tries to figure out what just happened. It takes her one full minute to try and decipher it all before she realizes she's still holding hands with Stacie in front of the dining table. She also realizes that Du Pont is looking at her, really looking at her, with concern filled in her eyes.

Honestly, it's the first time she's really looked into those serene orbs ever since this arrangement and her heart twists just looking at them because after all this time, they haven't changed, still void of judgement and pity unlike the others. All she sees in it is something akin to…

Longing

It's too much and something in the back of her head whispers that she doesn't deserve it, this concern or the way Stacie's hand seems to want to reach out to touch her face but stops halfway to settle tentatively on her arm.

"So uhm," Stacie starts, a smile slowly forming at the corner of her lips, "Want to sit down for a while and drink some wine?"

She doesn't know who lets go first but now her hand feels cold and she fights the urge to chase after Stacie's hand again.

Brushing her tears away, she finally finds her voice and mirrors Stacie's smile. "It's okay. I'm okay. I just wished you didn't had to see all that—did you forget something? I thought you already went out," she says, abruptly switching topics because what she has with her mother is heavy and heavy issues like that are what people struggle to avoid.

It's a burden she doesn't want to share with Stacie. It's hers to carry and hers alone.

"Yeah," Stacie nods lightly, eyes never leaving hers and being in her most vulnerable, she feels like she is being stripped to her very core.

Nobody outside their family has seen this side of her.

The dark and broken side of her.

"You,"

For a moment Aubrey looks at her in confusion until she realizes what exactly Stacie meant.

"I really wanted to ask if you would like to come with me. Davide would be a great companion but I wanted to know things from your point of view, what made you love this place and what your favorites are. Besides, we can go eat outside and debate about which country is better, France or Italy,"

Her answer pulls some strings from her chest because how can Aubrey continue this illusion, this make-believe, when Stacie's soul is unmeasurably beautiful. It's all too much and she doesn't deserve it. This kindness, this genuine care and understanding. It belongs to someone more worthy. Someone who is whole and free. Someone who can give her the world, freedom and a healthy relationship. Someone who'd never use their power to clip her wings and keep her chained to their side.

Someone who isn't her.

So she doesn't hold back the sob in her chest, doesn't stop the tears from falling because she knows beautiful things aren't meant to be forced in a cage for her to selfishly keep, not when it doesn't belong to her to begin with.

"You aren't the safe choice," she finally chokes out. "I put you here. I dragged you down with me. It was all me. I wanted you here without considering what you wanted. I chose you because I—" she looks down shaking her head.

I love you

"You don't have to stay. You can go home, your true home, back to France, back to your family. I want you to be happy and I can't…" she gives way to a fresh new batch of tears, her fingers tentatively touching Stacie's.

"I can't find it in myself to be fine when you are not. Being here with me will only give you suffering and I cannot bear to witness that. I cannot do this to you any longer. Not when you…"

Are everything to me.

"Not when you deserve more," she sniffs and she wishes that she could hold her tightly, wishes to feel that warmth again but Stacie deserved more, better.

Better than her, a broken shell living in a life of misery.

Stacie doesn't move, doesn't leave her side or quickly run away the second she was given the opportunity and Aubrey remembers something important, the reason why they are together in the first place so she clears her throat to assure her.

"Beca and Chloe will have their wedding. I'll make sure of it," she nods and now as she releases her hold on Stacie's hand, she feels like breaking.

"Do you really mean it?" Stacie asks and Aubrey finds it hard to look into those eyes so she settles them on the floor where her heart must be as of the moment.

She nods in answer to Stacie's question, "Yes, I promise. You can tell Chloe that I'll take care of the rest. She doesn't need to worry about anything,"

"Not that," Stacie corrects as she takes a step forward, closer to her. "I was talking about what you said earlier, your feelings… for me. Did you really mean it?"

Stacie has heard it, she might've actually caught everything she had admitted to her mother and Aubrey doesn't know what to do about that fact. So she simply nods, tears finding its path down her cheeks once more.

It takes only a second before she lays it all down in an honest confession, tearfully and sincerely. Her heart pouring out its contents for the first time.

"I'm so sorry. I know, I'm late. When you confessed to me that night, I got so scared because if I told you and had fought for it—for us back then I would have lost you. My scheming, manipulative mother would've gone to the extremes to keep you away from me. You've met her, she can find ways to separate us. I thought I'd lose my mind when I longed to write back to you, all those letters I never got to send. It even came to a point where I was ready to challenge Tom for the title, for you and for Chloe, because this was the only way I know but Chloe stopped me. I'd only get myself killed and dying just means not being with you so, it's useless. Then finally I got the opportunity, with this power I have now, I created a solid, unbreakable agreement and I know it's not exactly standing up against them. Instead, it's something a coward like me could hide behind from to get what she wants but this is all I could do—"

Her words are swallowed by soft lips and she didn't know what's even happening until she's feels so warm it makes her dizzy but Stacie is there, holding her tightly, keeping her grounded. It takes her back to the very first kiss they had and her head fills up with music. They sway lightly and maybe Stacie hears it too.

When they break away, Stacie doesn't move far, their faces inches from each other and Aubrey's lungs are desperate for air, desperate for more of her.

"You came back," Stacie breathes out in what sounds like relief as she brushes Aubrey's tears away. "You came back for me and that's more than enough,"

Aubrey gives in almost quickly and kisses her because after all this time, after what had happened, after what Aubrey did, Stacie stuck to her word. She waited and the mere thought of it was so absurd to her that she had foolishly chose to believe that she would move on and forget. Because nobody has ever loved her like this before. Nobody cared enough to wait for her. When everyone walked away, when she herself walked away from everything there was this stubborn Du Pont who clung to the possibility that she'd change her mind.

Stacie waited for her despite all that and how could she possibly not fall for this girl more? How could she have been so stupid to think otherwise? That Stacie being hurt wasn't because she was done with her but because Aubrey kept pulling away from her.

Their lips part again and this time the smiles she sees are genuine as she vows to correct something important, "I never changed my mine. Not once," she admits and Stacie nods, knowing exactly what she means. "It's always been you."

There was only one choice and Aubrey will stick to that choice no matter what.

She lets herself be buried in Stacie's arms and breathes in the scent she's missed the most.

"Just promise one thing," she hears her whisper and truthfully, Aubrey is ready to promise her the universe.

"Don't ever let go because I won't. Don't leave me like that again," and it's a huge thing to promise because it means she's in this for the long run. "No matter how evil your mother is,"

They both laugh through happy tears and Aubrey's hug tightens, grasping at the fabric of Stacie's clothes as she closes her eyes.

"I'll never let go. Never again. I promise,"

And she means it with all her heart.

"You can still visit France whenever you like. I won't hinder you from seeing them," she offers.

"Yeah but I'm enjoying the serenity of this place way too much and god, that pool! That view! My bed! Did the gods make that themselves?" she says, voice filled with awe that it instantly pulls on the corner of Aubrey's lips.

"My noisy cousins can survive without me for a month," Stacie laughs and Aubrey decides she's addicted to the sound of it.

They stay wrapped in each other's embrace until Stacie starts swaying them again and unlike before Aubrey doesn't question it, doesn't find it absurd or weird. Instead, she follows along, letting herself be swayed because she gets it now, she hears it all around her, swirling and producing the sweetest melodies.

They could call her crazy. Maybe she's lost her mind but she doesn't care.

That's love.

But before anything else…

"So about those letters you said you wanted to send me. Does that mean that you actually wrote replies to my love letters all these years but you just didn't send them?"

Aubrey pauses, blood draining from her face as she realizes what she had uttered minutes ago and where this is all going.

"What? I-I… never said anything like that,"

It doesn't take a second before she's untangling herself from Stacie's hold and speed-walking away from her, not catching the sly smirk on the Du Pont's face.

"Sweetheart, don't be shy! It's romantic! It's so you! You wrote them for me so I have to read them. And you do realize that you cannot run away from me anymore? We're tied together now!" Stacie yells as soon as Aubrey is up the stairs, taking two steps at a time pausing only to yell back.

"No! I'm having second thoughts about this marriage. Go back to France!"

"I don't want to!" comes the indignant reply as Stacie follows her.

She's just about to open her door and possibly hide in embarrassment when Stacie grabs her wrist and swiftly pulls Aubrey inside her room, catching her off-guard that she squeaks in surprise. She opens her lips to protest but they only hang at the tip of her tongue as Stacie silences her with a kiss. The door closes behind her and Stacie whispers something about testing the bounce factor of their bed in a low tone that makes her brain malfunction.

The conclusion?

The bed is truly heavenly.

When the sun sets, Aubrey wakes up with a smile on her face armed with the realization that it's not a dream. It's all real, the love they shared last night, Stacie's body pressed against her, legs tangled underneath the sheets, the peace in her heart and the unmeasurable bliss that she feels, it's all real.

And when Stacie pulls her close, planting soft kisses all over her skin, looking at her like she's all she's ever dreamed of, she makes sure that Aubrey knows that she deserves all of it.

"I'll never hurt you," the soft sincere promise, as soft as Stacie's gentle touch when she touches the fading bruise on her cheek, conjures up tears that came straight from her chest.

She believes it, knows it in her heart.

That she's safe in between these loving arms.

It doesn't take her long to say those three little words that she finally gets to say for the very first time, words she wouldn't hide in silence anymore, and watches it reflect back at her with the radiant look on Stacie's face.


Author's Note:

Chapter 29 also entitled as, 'The Billion and One Ways Aubrey Subtly Says I Love You' or 'The Billion and One Moments Where They Could've Just Been Honest' OR my personal favorite, 'The Countdown To When Stacie Finally Loses Control in Italy And Drags Aubrey To Bed'

And In celebration of Staubrey because you all love these two so much and I sincerely cannot bear to leave these obvious soulmates wandering apart miserably any longer,

Everybody now! Wave your hands in the air! C'mon, sing with me!

** I DON'T WANNA BE YOUR FRIEND. I WANT TO KISS YOUR NECK!

Don't you see me? I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you. And don't you need me? I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you. On this night, and in this light I think I'm falling, I'm falling for you. And maybe you, CHANGE YOUR MIND **

Who knew the only person to defeat Caterina Loveless Posen is Anastasia Cerise Conrad? She went there and did that. Coming in strong with the shade and the undying Du Pont sarcasm, all the while looking calm as the quiet night. So, a warning to anyone who tries to hurt Aubrey Antonette Posen. If you don't want to run away whining like a baby, better think twice.

Also, Stacie signed up to be a Vanderbilt because of that damn infinity pool.

But seriously, it's hard for me to give Stacie away to the Vanderbilts because she's so Du Pont through and through (even though she has Vanderbilt traits when it comes to her love for peaceful mornings with tea and a good novel). Just imagining what it would feel like at nineteen (also turning twenty like Beca) and leaving everything behind because you are forced into something that you're not even sure of, something that is as huge as marriage, that's insane! Yeah, Aubrey is there but initially there's no guarantee that all will be well. Going back to how they ended things, it's uncertain. Also, super scary. Aubrey never told Stacie her feelings. She just ended their thing when Lorenzo came and then she just left, claiming that love is not real and all! (Imagine just how hard it was for her to say that back then).

From the beginning it feels as if it's only Stacie who is deeply in love, willing to cross uncharted seas for her, while Aubrey is only in it because of sexual attraction. That is until, her side of the story comes to light and we can finally sigh in relief because Aubrey is definitely crazy in love over her all this time (she just doesn't handle all that sudden overflowing love well).

Remember, I wrote Aubrey as someone who 'carefully executes her plans by not rushing'. She waited for months before using Ethan's ex-girlfriend to break Ethan and Stacie up (then because she's such a soft adorable bean, apologized for it). Yep, she's that bitch, that one that you just fall in love with because she's got layers and you find out that she's not entirely as bad as she is known for. That she's just lonely (and possibly jealous of Ethan because she's already unconsciously claimed Stacie as hers) and broken-still not a good reason to hurt people, I know.

If Chloe followed her heart and just jumped, Aubrey is grabbing a parachute, supplies and emergency kits before taking said jump and landing on a strategic area where she then plots her next move of attack. The girl is a strategist which makes her extremely smart. It's so Aubrey to wait until the opportunity comes and when it does she grabs it without any hesitation. And who would be the perfect match for someone like her? A girl who is willing to wait as long as it takes for Aubrey to scribble her brilliant plans on her whiteboard. A girl as understanding, loving and patient as Stacie.

But of course, there's room for improvement and growth. Where Aubrey, who always gets what she wants, is willing to let Stacie go in order for her to be happy and free, ready to bear the consequences no matter what. Aww. Fuckin' right in the feels! Then Stacie's 'I'll never hurt you' Awwwww. Fuck! Whyy?

Okay I better stop. This is getting embarrassing already (Yes fanfic authors cry when they write their stories sometimes, so what?!)

Uhm... I think... we only have... one chapter left.