Deliberation
Chapter Four
Word Count: 5,214
Rating/Warnings/ Summary: Same as chapter one
Author's Note: Writing Shin was hard. I don't know that I have good grasp on anyone's characters, to be honest, but it was much easier to attempt Kent, I'll admit, and I wasn't sure how to do Toma, either.
A part of me still thinks I should have found a way to make this the one scene, and another part of me thinks all the guys deserve a bit of a say. Well, mostly. I'm still kind of biased, as much as I've tried to be more balanced and consider all angles. I know it's not completely balanced, since this did rise out of my frustration with the ending in the first place.
Still, as much as I wanted to work through some of those issues, maybe that one scene could have been enough...
Four
"I can't believe you want to hire that guy," Shin muttered, giving the manager another look. Sure, Mine had made the recommendation, with Sawa backing her up, but even Waka had to know that Mine was just after hot guys. Sawa's help didn't change that. It was all about how good that guy looked, and even if Waka liked how the female customers and staff reacted to him, how could it be worth it?
"Oh, Shin. It's not like he'll take your job," Sawa said. "You're happier in the kitchen anyway, right?"
"Yeah. We'd probably lose customers if you were out there," Mine said. "You're so grumpy, but Ikki... he's so nice. And gorgeous."
"I know," Sawa agreed. "When he looked at me, I could have sworn I was in love."
Shin needed to get away from here. Fast. He grabbed the broom and took it with him. He could get a little air and maybe they'd be done talking about that guy by the time he'd swept the front.
Shin was still grumbling to himself when he reached the top of the stairs. The last thing he needed was someone new who would create even more work for him. Toma had the butler role covered, and the customers liked him. Between him and Mine, they had plenty of regulars. They didn't need anyone else to make a mess of things.
He frowned. What was with this crowd?
Wait, was that the same guy from before? It had to be—look at the girls all around him, trying to hang off him and that tall guy he'd come in with was there, looming over everyone.
"Ikki, you can't mean that. You love us. We love you."
"Love? Is that what you call it? When you conspire to make sure all my girlfriends leave me at the end of three months? How is that love?"
"Even I fail to see the logic in that choice," the big one said. "And I am not someone who understands emotions."
"We were keeping it fair," a girl in a hat insisted. "We just wanted to share you."
Shin shook his head. Unbelievable. Share him? What was so special about this guy? First Mine and Sawa, and now this crowd, all of them obsessed with one guy.
"And if I didn't want to be shared?" the man demanded, shaking his head. "I will date who I please and be friends with who I please. You will never again interfere in my life. Do I make myself clear?"
"It's because of her, isn't it?" one of the noisy ones demanded, pointing at the girl in the cap next to the tall guy. "She's why you turned your back on us. She's not special. She's not even pretty."
"Don't think we can't deal with you because we can," the other girl snapped, stepping closer to threaten the one who'd been in the cafe earlier.
"What are you, stupid?" Shin demanded. They had to be to make such a fuss over someone who was telling them to take a hike, but even more than that, were they blind? "You know she's holding the other guy's hand, right? They're the couple here. Even I know that, and I'm just here to sweep the sidewalk."
"No one cares what you think. You're just a loser that works in a cafe."
"Wait, Taeko, watch what you say to him. He's that one Mine told us about, you know? The one whose dad killed someone. You don't want him killing us, too, do you?"
Shin glared at them. Why was it all anyone ever saw was his father? And who the hell was Mine to tell these other girls about that? She had no right. "You know what, I—"
"It is again a rather vivid display of your idiocy that you would assume such a thing," the tall guy said over what Shin was about to say. "One, you cannot be certain even if he fits the description this Mine gave you that he is in fact the same person. Two, having met the source of such gossip, I do not know how much of it you can give any legitimacy, but allowing that some facts in this matter were indeed true, you again make a poor assumption in believing that simply because someone shares the genetics of a person they will act in the same manner. While there are those who have tried to claim such a thing and documented cases among convicted felons of a gene they believe predisposes people toward violent behavior, they begin first by operating under a bias that negates the entire argument and furthermore, studies have also shown great differences between twins who share identical DNA."
Just about everyone around him blinked. Shin found himself frowning. If he understood right, this stranger had just stood up for him—not that Shin couldn't fight for himself or needed big words and studies to tell them they were dumb.
"Are you calling us stupid?"
"Should I have stated it plainer so you comprehended it easily?" He snorted. "Your lack of reason when it comes to Ikkyu is excessive and dangerous, made all the more so by your rampant ignorance. In other words, you are both stupid and unstable."
"Ikki, you're not really going to let them talk to us like that, are you?" the girls said, pulling on his arm. He frowned, stepping back from them.
"Ken here is a true friend. The only one I have," Ikki said. "And he's not wrong about anything he said. Look at what you were willing to do to her because the three of us ate breakfast together. It doesn't even matter to you that she's Ken's girl. You were also willing to go after this stranger who pointed that out to you. You are dangerous."
"All we want is to be near you, Ikki. If you let us—"
"No. I already told you to leave. I told you that the fan club is disbanded. I don't want to see any of you ever again."
"It would seem even direct declarations do not seem to be enough to convince them," Ken said, still standing protectively close to his girlfriend. "I would consider it wise to report them to the authorities, Ikkyu. Otherwise this could still end in violence."
"I just might," Ikki said and all but one of the girls cried out in protest. "Do you really think Ken's wrong? None of us missed what you just did, and you're making me very angry. If you keep ignoring what I say or you hurt one of my friends—or anyone else—it won't be this guy you have to worry about. I'll take care of you myself."
"Ikki?"
They really were idiots, Shin thought. They weren't listening to a word he was saying, couldn't seem to understand why he was that angry or that he meant every word of his threat. Shin didn't even know the guy and he was sure of it. Ikki reminded him of Waka in a way. He was smiles and polite when he needed to be, but he was also deadly serious.
"I need to clean here," Shin said, figuring that would get them moving if nothing else did.
"We're not leaving until Ikki changes his mind."
Shin snorted. "You really are stupid."
"I'm not changing my mind. You need to leave. I should make you apologize for interfering with his work, but I'll settle for you going," Ikki told them. "Now."
"Ikki—"
"Your moronic behavior continues even now. Do you honestly believe that such displays and lack of respect for his words will change matters? You are only irritating him further. Also, do you not realize that all of us here have cellphones? We can easily call the police. In fact, I would advise Shin here to do just that as an employee of the business upon which you currently trespass."
"It's a public street," Taeko protested. "He can't make us go."
Shin could, if he forced the issue, but he didn't want to fight with a bunch of stupid girls who would likely get the police on their side if it came down to their word against his.
"Then we'll go," Ikki said. He turned and bowed his head. "Shin, I'm very sorry about all of this. Please give my apologies to the rest of the staff as well."
Shin nodded. "Of course."
Ikki looked at the girls. "You had better leave in the opposite direction. If you follow us or I hear you continued to cause trouble for anyone here, I will take action."
He walked over to join his friends, the two men putting the girl in between them protectively. She'd been awful quiet, but that was probably for the best, since those other girls would have gone after her in an instant.
"Ikkyu, I wonder if it might not be advisable to begin the process of filing for restraining orders against all members of your former fan club," Ken said as they started walking. "I will ask my mother about it."
"Ooh, look at the big man now. He's so scared he's calling Mommy."
Ken frowned. Shin almost laughed, but Ikki did first, confusing the morons again.
"Kent's mother is a very prestigious lawyer," Ikki informed them with clear satisfaction. "And I will be speaking to her about this. Trust me on that. Now go."
The girls looked at each other and at Shin and back at Ikki before they finally left. Shin shook his head. It had better not be like this every day if that guy started working here.
He saw the girl tug on Ken's coat, and he leaned down so she could speak in his ear.
"Our apologies," Ken said, and Shin frowned. Ikki had already apologized. They didn't have to do it twice. "Though I know it is of little consolation after having been caught in the middle of such a display—it was not our intention to disrupt your work or force you to witness such behavior. I fear I can offer little in compensation, though if you are at all in need of someone with mathematics expertise, Ikkyu or I may be of assistance. Ikkyu's focus is economics and accounting whereas I am a graduate student in mathematics. Also... as Ikkyu previously said, my mother is a lawyer and may be available to assist with any legal matters if such a thing were to arise."
Shin wondered if that would be any use to Toma. For himself, of course, he couldn't help thinking of his faltering grades and the need to catch up in prep if he was going to get a scholarship. No, he didn't need help.
"It's not like Ken to make such an offer," Ikkyu said, smiling toward the girl, who blushed and was more obviously the cause than before. "But he's not wrong. Either of us could probably help with math stuff, though when it comes to that, this man's a genius and you should ask him quick before he goes off to London."
"That is yet to be decided, and judging from the current state of my presentation, I hardly think it likely," Ken said. Ikki frowned at him. "I have fallen very behind in my work."
"I'm sorry," she said. "It's my fault, isn't it?"
"I do wish you would stop blaming yourself. You are not to blame for all of this."
"It was for me, even if I didn't do it or intend to change things when I was a part of it. I don't want any more hurt because of me."
"And they won't be," Ken told her. He glanced towards the others. "This is not the place to discuss this. We should go."
"Yeah," Ikki said, though he was frowning at them now, like he was suspicious.
Shin gave the girl another glance, uncertain himself. There was something a bit familiar about her, but he didn't know what it was. Had he met her before? He supposed she could have been the reason they went into the cafe in the first place. He didn't think she was a regular, but then he spent most of his time in the kitchen and she could have come in before when he wasn't working.
He watched them go before turning back to sweep. He had a lot to think about all of a sudden, and he didn't know what to make of any of this.
Ikki could tell that Ken was preoccupied as they walked back to the university. He had that look on his face, the one where some problem was eating at him enough to where he was barely aware of any of the rest of the world. Even the girl's hand in his didn't seem enough to ground him where he was.
Ikki looked at her again. What was that, earlier? Sure, it made sense that she was why Ken wasn't ready for his presentation and might not even want to go to London at this point, but it was like she'd come out of nowhere. Not that Ikki thought Ken would willingly introduce him to his girlfriend, not if he could seduce her away, but their whole relationship was strange. Calling it research was almost cute when Ken was denying his feelings, but she was aware of them, so why bother trying to hide?
Was it Ikki he was trying to hold off? Why? If Kent really liked this girl, he should hold onto her with all he had. Ikki might tease him a bit more, but he wouldn't go too far. Even the prospect of making Ken jealous was not as appealing now, not when he owed his friend this much.
And yet, something was still wrong here. Ikki could feel it. He even wondered if that Shin guy was aware of it. He seemed pretty level-headed, after all, and there was that thing the girl had done in prompting Kent to make that offer. Did she know Shin? Neither of them said that, but she did seem to feel something since she'd prodded Kent like that.
"Are either of you going to tell me what's going on?" Ikki asked, finally sick of the silence and his own questions. He'd like some answers. "And don't say it's nothing, Ken. I know there's something odd happening. I'm not just joking around about your girlfriend. You have been acting strange, and I thought it was the girl after I met her, but it's not that, is it?"
"It is more complicated than a simple romantic entanglement," Kent answered. "Though if I tell you all of it, I would think you would believe us both crazy."
"I'm used to dealing with crazy," Ikki reminded him. "Or did you not see those girls back there?"
She shuddered and leaned closer to Kent. "Do you think that we did enough? Or did we just make them angry enough to do something dangerous? Ikki doesn't have a girlfriend now, so they won't target her, but they were really mad at you and even at Shin and he didn't do anything."
"I am not worried about myself, though I acknowledge the possibility that they will harm you if they are able despite more than one person mistaking us for a couple. However, you are not in an isolated area with them, did not enter into an agreement you inadvertently neglected, and if you make the obvious choice, none of this will matter."
"But it should," she said. "What good is changing anything for you or for Ikki or even that offer you made to Shin if it all goes away? You go back to not knowing love. Ikki returns to being a victim of his fan club. Shin thinks all everyone sees is his father and that he will never overcome that man's shadow so he will never even try to do better. And there's Toma who doesn't realize his own dangerous tendencies. Ukyo might not be here, but that doesn't mean he doesn't need help. And I don't even know enough about Sawa or Mine's situation."
Ikki frowned. "Wait a minute—how do you know all them? You were a stranger to Mine earlier. And Shin. And you sound like you know all about my fan club. Who are you? You're not just Ken's girlfriend, are you?"
"I told you. It is much more complicated than that."
"Then explain it to me."
Crawfish Park—she had not yet learned the true name of this place despite it featuring in more than one world she'd been in, since she'd come here with Shin, Toma, Kent, and Ukyo—was silent in the wake of Kent's final words. She'd let him do most of the explaining. He had a better understanding of what had happened to her than she did, and he was able to make it clear to Ikki in ways that she never could have on her own.
She was still rather hesitant and her words came out rushed or jumbled most of the time.
"Wow," Ikki said, staring at them. "I almost would say Ken is teasing me again, but this is a little much for that. Maybe if he'd just claimed the part about one parallel world, but the whole spirit in your head and the god fulfilling a wish... that's a bit more than I'd think he'd come up with to tease me with. Actually, I never thought I'd hear those words come out of Ken's mouth at all. Wasn't the closest you came to religion the acknowledgment that the probability of certain elements combining to make animals or even plants without some kind of higher design slightly unlikely?"
"Rationally, it is difficult to believe in any sort of higher power as the world naturally gravitates towards chaos. However, it is also undeniable that certain things on this earth defy the odds just by their very existence."
Ikki nodded. "That's what I mean. So you treating the existence of gods and spirits as facts is pretty big to begin with."
"It was admittedly easier to consider the likelihood of parallel worlds than it was to admit to the existence of the other beings, though in some ways, one could simply change the names to make their presence more scientific and less mythical, thereby more acceptable to a rational mind."
"Is that what you did with Orion?" she asked, frowning. "You simply see him as, what, an alien in my head?"
"No. I considered the possibility of using that to understand and cope with his existence, but I rejected it. If I was to believe one part of your story, I must believe it all. And I am not so rational as to believe that only things that are explained by current scientific and technological discoveries are possible. The world—worlds—are infinite, and there is much more to learn about the universe."
Ikki nodded. "That's for sure. Though now that I hear this, I have to wonder if we both interacted with the same misguided god. What if that stupid wish I made was granted by the same one who did all this to fulfil this Ukyo guy's desire to see you survive?"
"I did wonder about that myself," she said, "knowing what I did about the wish you made and that Nhil had that power. Orion told me he was very curious about humans. I wasn't able to talk to Nhil directly, so I didn't get to ask. It was so... sudden, Orion telling me to go, that I'd forget him, and I thought... I wasn't ready to go back."
"And you came here, to Ken." Ikki grimaced. "While I'm jealous you didn't choose me, I understand. I'd have gone to Ken first myself. Well, maybe not if I had a girl I was in love with that loved me back, since that's the kind of wish I'd make now that I'm older and smarter, to have a genuine love, but I know I'd ask Ken for help."
"You exaggerate. After all, is it not clear now that I only knew about your fan club's actions because of what she told me?"
"Maybe, but that doesn't mean you didn't care at all. You told me as soon as you knew and offered to help me prove it. That's still friendship. And maybe you still would have figured it out if you'd been studying my condition more. I did put a stop to most of those experiments you wanted to do, remember?"
"Yes. Still, it was wrong of me to treat you as a science project."
Ikki turned toward her. "You know, if you brought about that change, then yeah... I'm not so sure you should leave, either."
"Ikkyu, she has to. In order to restore all the worlds to their original condition, she would have to return to her world and let everything reset to its rightful position before the interference of this god. It is not for any of us to keep her here regardless of our feelings."
Ikki stared at Kent in disbelief. "Can you really say that so calmly?"
Kent faced away from them, his voice strained when he spoke. "Please stop asking me that. I can't... I refuse to answer. This is how it must be, and even you must be able to see that."
She sighed. She hadn't meant to hurt Kent like this. "Please, Ikki. Don't push him. I know this is painful for him. What I asked of Kent isn't fair. The other worlds, the people I knew in them, they weren't aware of all of this. They still aren't. Not that it would be right to go to one of them knowing that I was supposed to leave, either, but... Kent already knew. Somehow, I thought that was enough. I was wrong. I never meant to put him through all this. I was just... too scared to go back right away. And I'm still not sure it's the right thing to do even though Kent's theories all say it is and that was basically what Nhil and Orion told me and... you believe that, too, don't you, Ikki?"
Ikki grimaced. "Well, it's not that I don't see the reasons why Ken thinks this is the best for everyone. If he's right about the effect this will have, then it's almost the only choice. Setting everything back to zero, as it were, that's only fair, since it's not like anyone else deserved to die in your place, so that should be fixed, but damn it, how am I supposed to tell you to go back to this guy who caused all this and killed you more than once? I admit that my own definition of love is warped, but how can that guy call what he feels for you love? And how is it at all safe to give you over to him? You might not be my true love here, we're basically strangers, but that feels wrong to me. Sacrificing you like that. Ken's trying to be selfless and do it, but it's tearing him up inside, and even if it does fix the other worlds... is it really the right thing to do?"
She didn't understand. "It has to be, doesn't it?"
"Are you asking that in the sense that you think the god should put the other worlds back to rights regardless of her choice?" Kent asked, and Ikki nodded. "I suppose I can see why you think that as well."
"Why is this Ukyo so special that only he gets his happy end?" Ikki asked. "Oh, sure, I know I can't really expect to have a wish granted twice, no matter how foolish my first one was, but when I think about someone who caused so much damage and death getting his way and the rest of us suffering because of it—I get angry. All I can be is angry. There are infinite worlds where I am trapped in this damned cycle of three months and the fan club. It sounds like Shin and Toma play out this rivalry over and over again with disastrous results. Sure, maybe Toma doesn't deserve a happy end any more than Ukyo does, not if he's willing to go that far, and Shin needs to learn how to treat a girl right, but then again, so does Ken."
"Even you could improve in that regard, Ikkyu."
"True." Ikki looked over at her. "I just don't like the idea of sacrificing anyone."
"It... If I love Ukyo, then it's not such a sacrifice. And that world was where I was meant to be all along. I shouldn't feel the need to hesitate."
"Are you sure about that?" Ikki asked. "I think what Ukyo did gives you plenty of reason to hesitate. How do you trust him again after all that? He killed you. That's not so simple or easily forgiven, and someone who expects that of you—they not only have an unrealistic idea of love, but they have no real understanding of human nature."
"You imply it is the god who chooses so foolishly," Kent said. "I am not so certain. Think of the statistics regarding domestic violence. Many abuse victims return willingly to their abuser. Some misguidedly believe that is love but others believe their abusers will change. Both lead to the same outcome."
"Seriously? That's your defense?" Ikki shook his head. "I don't care if that's accurate. It's not right. No one should accept that kind of treatment."
"I never said it was logical. Only that the precedence exists."
"Well, from Waka's perspective, the effect on business would be a plus," Toma said thoughtfully, and Shin rolled his eyes. Toma's tendency to look for the good in things—and people—could get really annoying sometimes. "If this Ikki draws that kind of a crowd everywhere he goes, then he'd have a lot of regular customers and possibly double or triple the revenue. That would be worth the risk to Waka, I'd think, since he has to consider the money aspect of it. And while you want to say that we don't need more help, the fact is that we're still understaffed. If we had more people, we could even specialize more so you could spend your time in the kitchen where you prefer it. We could run two shifts and stay open longer."
"I guess."
Toma laughed. "You still don't like change, do you?"
"I think I handle it better than you do."
"What, by withdrawing from everyone and becoming more and more antisocial?" Toma shook his head. "That's not a solution, Shin. It's not right that people are still judging you based on your father, but you have overcome so much of that already. And I do think you could get that scholarship if you wanted it. You just have to work a bit harder, and yes, you're running out of time, but it's not too late. Not yet."
Shin grunted. What did Toma know, anyway? It wasn't like he'd shared any of his grades with his step-brother. He didn't want to hear the lecture.
"I can help if you let me," Toma said. "I know I've been busy a lot with my own coursework, but I never meant to leave you hanging. I'll do whatever I can to make sure you get the chance you deserve."
Shin nodded. He knew that Toma would do it, too. He'd find some way of help, even when it wasn't worth helping. He thought again of that guy's offer but chose not to mention it.
"Wait a minute. Why are we headed for Crawfish Park?"
Toma smiled. "You looked like you could use some cheering up, so I thought I'd take you somewhere special to us. And knowing you, you'd say no if I'd told you I was doing it, so I didn't say anything until you noticed. You mad at me?"
"Yes," Shin said, but Toma just laughed, walking deeper into the park. Shin rolled his eyes as he followed after him. "You're the one that hasn't changed, Toma. You're still playing big brother even when it's not needed."
"You know that's never going to change," Toma said. "Being your brother is a huge part of who I am. I don't think I could ever lose that."
Shin supposed he might be right about that. Toma took that role really seriously, as annoying as it was. Shin didn't need a babysitter, and he could take care of himself. He'd had to grow up fast because of what his dad did and the shame that followed him around, but Toma still saw him as the little brother he needed to protect.
"You can't mean that, Ken. I know you better than to believe you do."
"If you look at it logically, Ikkyu—"
"Logic has got nothing to do with this. This is about how you feel."
Toma let out a low whistle. "Guess this isn't the quiet place I was hoping for tonight. Maybe we should go somewhere else to finish our little discussion."
"You have to be kidding me," Shin said, taking in the trio across the park from them. Toma looked at him. "Yeah, no discussion, but... that's the Ikki guy I told you about. And his friend. They're here."
"Oh, really?" Toma asked, now curious and trying to get a better look at the men arguing across the park. Shin really was ready to leave now. He didn't need to see another fight, even if there was no crowd of girls this time.
"Come on," Shin said. He wasn't about to get close to them again. Once was enough, and Toma didn't need to get in the middle of it, either.
"If you insist on bringing feelings into it, then why do mine have any precedence over yours? Or even those of Shin, Toma, or Ukyo?" Ken asked, and Shin tensed up, hearing not only his name but Toma's, too. The hell was going on here?
"Okay, so I'm jealous. If she stayed here, you get the girl, right? And I might be losing out on my chance at true love, something I never thought I'd have after my condition, but I don't know her here. You say there's another world where I do and I do love her, and a part of me wishes this one was it, but it's not. And if you're going to be so damned logical about it, what about the part where the bad stuff didn't happen to her when she was with you? My fan club didn't hurt her. She didn't fall off a cliff like with Shin, get locked in a cage like with Toma, or get killed by Ukyo. She's safest here, logically, and you're ignoring that along with what you want for the greater good? Since when are you that selfless?"
Toma frowned. Shin thought he actually looked worried. Did he know what they were talking about? A cage? That wasn't right, was it? And if there was a cage—no, Shin didn't know anything about a cliff. That hadn't happened.
"The hell are they talking about?"
"Me."
