Bacterium

"Man, I forgot how much I love Mystic Mountain," Spencer said happily as him, Carly, Sam and Freddie walked into the theme park. "Look at this place! All the rides, games, and attractions…it's like paradise!"

"Yeah, if you're ten," Carly chuckled. "You're almost thirty."

"Come on, Carls, this place isn't just for kids," Sam said, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, that's right!" Spencer nodded. "It's fun for people of all ages. It says so right in the brochure!"

"So are you excited to ride the carousel then?" Freddie smirked.

"No," Sam snapped, thumping the back of his head. "Those are kiddie rides."

"But I love the carousel," Spencer said lamely.

"I'm excited for the real rides," Sam said, ignoring Spencer's comment. "The roller coasters."

"Oh yeah, they just opened up that new one, didn't they?" Carly said. "What was it called? The Skull something…"

"The Skull Squeezer," Sam beamed. "It's supposed to be the fastest roller coaster in the country, with more drops and loops than anything Mystic Mountain has ever created before."

"The Skull Squeezer?" Freddie repeated. "Why on earth would somebody get on a ride called the Skull Squeezer?"

"Uh, because it's awesome," Sam said, rolling her eyes.

"Shoosh yeah it is," Spencer nodded. "Socko came here last week and rode it. He wet his pants!"

"Sweet!" Sam cheered. "Well what are we all standing around here for? Let's get over there and ride it before the line gets too long."

"Wait," Freddie said. "You mean we're all going over there?"

"Why wouldn't we?" Sam asked.

"I-I just thought we-we'd be splitting up or something," Freddie said. "You know, two of us go off to that roller coaster, and two of us go do something…else."

"But I think everybody wants to ride the roller coaster," Carly said.

"You mean you do?" Freddie frowned.

"Sure, I love roller coasters," Carly smiled. "Even though they wind up making my hair all frizzy."

"Great, we're all going," Sam said. "Now that that's established can we actually move people?"

"Well…won't we need someone to stay back with our bags while everybody's on the ride?" Freddie asked. "Because I'm willing to take the hit and-"

"Oh don't worry about that, they've got lockers we can store everything in," Spencer said.

"But-But do you really want to keep your stuff in those?" Freddie scoffed. "I bet they're filthy and covered in bacteria and-"

"Hold on, I see what's going on here," Sam said, a grin creeping onto her face.

"What?" Carly questioned.

"Fredwad here is afraid to go on the Skull Squeezer," Sam said triumphantly.

"I am not!" Freddie said reflexively.

"Then why do you keep stalling?" Sam asked.

"I'm not!"

"Dude, how can you be afraid of a little ride?" Spencer asked. "You only have to be forty-eight inches tall to ride it."

"I'm not afraid!" Freddie snapped.

"Okay, okay," Carly said. "You guys, we shouldn't tease Freddie for being afraid of a-"

"For the millionth time, I'm not!" Freddie exclaimed.

"Fine," Sam shrugged. "So you're going to be riding it, right?"

"I-I-" Freddie stammered nervously.

"Great," Sam said brightly. "It's settled."

"Sam…" Carly sighed. She turned to Freddie. "You don't have to ride if you don't want to, Freddie. You can always play some of the games while we ride and-"

"No," Freddie said firmly. "No, I-I'm riding it. Because I'm not afraid of some pathetic little Skull Squeezer."

"You sure?" Carly asked.

"Positive," Freddie nodded.

The group headed to the back of the theme park, where the Skull Squeezer stood. There was already quite a line, and by the time they took their place, they had about an hour to late.

Freddie tried to act calm and nonchalant as they stood there, but he could already feel his heart racing out of his chest and his palms sweating. He had never been a big fan of roller coasters. Truthfully he could never see the point in them. Who would want to zoom around at crazy speeds through all sorts of twists and turns? That just seemed suicidal to him. But there was no way he was going to just hand Sam this sort of mocking material on a silver platter, so he was going to have to get through it.

Alright, you can do this, he told himself. It's just a dumb ride…A dumb stupid ride that can possibly break your spine…No, don't think about that…Just think of this whole thing as-as-as a physics problem! There you go, you like physics! Nice, safe physics…we've got potential energy and-and kinetic energy and-

But his thoughts were suddenly rattled as a loud scream came from the ride.

"Oh, I think we're about halfway there!" Carly announced, craning her neck.

Great, Freddie thought glumly to himself.

"How you feeling, Benson?" Sam asked softly as Carly and Spencer got distracted by a video playing on an overhead screen. "Still 'not afraid'?"

"Yes," Freddie mumbled.

"Because you know, this is your last chance to get out of line," Sam told him. "Once we get around that corner, you can't turn back; they lock you in."

"No they don't!"

"Alright, you're not exactly locked in," Sam conceded. "But once you get there, you'll be laughed at by everybody in line if you bail."

"Well I'm not bailing," Freddie said as another scream sounded. He cleared his throat. "But, um…just out of curiosity, you happen to know when the last time this thing was checked out by a safety crew?"

"I dunno, probably after that incident that happened a couple weeks ago," Sam said.

"Incident? What incident?" Freddie asked anxiously.

"The roller coaster got stuck in the middle of one of the upside down loops for three hours," Sam told him. "They had to have the fire department come in with a giant net so that when they unlocked everybody's seatbelts, they wouldn't land on the concrete."

"It got stuck?" Freddie hissed.

"Sure did," Sam chuckled, clearly enjoying Freddie's apprehension. "But don't worry…I'm sure they've sorted everything out by now."

Freddie was beginning to wonder if maybe he should just accept Sam's ridicule and bail on the ride all together. They were starting to get really close to the front, and he could feel his nerves worsening. He was now sweating profusely, and it took a great deal of effort to get his legs to move, as they felt rooted to the spot.

"Dude …relax, will you?" Sam said. "It's not as fun to mess with you when you start taking it seriously. It's just a ride. You've been on roller coasters before, haven't you?"

"Er, just-just one, actually," Freddie admitted.

"Well which one?"

"The-The little one at the city fair," Freddie said. "With-With the lady bugs…"

"The Toddler Coaster?" Sam smirked. "You haven't been on a roller coaster since you were a toddler?"

"It-It might have been when I was twelve…"

"Wow," Sam chuckled. "Well, um…okay, it-it really isn't that different, you know. Just instead of a two foot drop….it's an eighty foot drop. And instead of-"

"Yeah, not helping," Freddie said.

Sam sighed. "Look…if-if you want to bow out and go wait for the rest of us by the lockers I-I'll give you a free pass."
Freddie gave her a strange look. "What?"

"Yeah, you-you seem really freaked out, and-and it's not as much fun to mess with you if you're not going to cooperate so if you want to bail I-I promise I won't make fun of you or anything," Sam said.

Freddie blinked. "Really? You really won't make fun of me?"

"Really, nub," Sam nodded. "It'll be hard, but I'll hold my tongue."

Freddie contemplated this for a moment. "You know what? No. I'm doing this."

"Are you sure?"

Freddie took a deep breath. "Yes."
"Wow…I'm impressed," Sam said. "Honestly, I figured you would've run before we even got in line. Well…okay then, let me give you some tips."

"Tips?" Freddie repeated.

"For making it through your first real roller coaster," Sam said. "First thing is, don't close your eyes. It's ten times scarier when you don't know what's coming. Second, if you feel like you've got to puke, just count to ten in your head…works every time for me. Oh, and don't look down when we're climbing to the top of the drop. You'll just freak yourself out."

Sam continued to give Freddie tips until the group finally reached the front of the line. The worker directed Carly and Spencer to one row, and Sam and Freddie another.

"Good luck you guys," Carly said brightly.

"Don't puke," Spencer added.

As Sam and Freddie took their seats, Freddie took another calming breath.

"It's a thirty second ride," Sam reminded him. "It will be over with before you know it."

Freddie didn't reply. He was too anxious.

Sam sighed. She reached over and extended her pinky to him.

"What are you doing?" Freddie asked.

"When I was five and I rode the Cranium Cyclone for the first time, I remember feeling a little scared-"

"I'm not scared!"

"Okay, I remember feeling whatever mess of an emotion you call this," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "So my Uncle Carmine let me hold his hand and, well, I didn't feel so bad after that. Course I'm not letting you hold my hand…that'd be gross. But if you want I probably wouldn't be too disgusted if you just held on to my pinky."

Just then the lights began flashing, signaling the ride was about to start.

Freddie quickly reached over and took Sam's pinky. Maybe he was just imagining things, but the second he did, he actually did feel much better…

"You ready?" Sam asked excitedly.

"Yup," Freddie nodded, determined. "I'm ready."

….