Liver
"So, do you feel any different?" Freddie asked as he handed Sam a large bowl of popcorn and sat down next to her on their couch.
"From what?" Sam asked, taking a handful of popcorn.
"You know, from going from just a couple to an engaged couple," Freddie smirked.
Sam chuckled as she looked down at her left hand, where a beautiful, sparking engagement ring had been for the past two weeks.
"Maybe a little," Sam smiled. "What about you?"
"I do," Freddie nodded, wrapping his arms around her and kissing her deeply.
"Dude…" Sam laughed as he began kissing down her neck. "I thought you wanted to watch a movie."
"I changed my mind," Freddie mumbled, still kissing her.
"Did you now?" Sam grinned. "Well in that case…"
She quickly put her arms around his neck and began kissing him back. Just as Freddie was about to scoop his fiancé up in his arms and carry her off to their bedroom, the front door of the apartment opened.
"Hey, you guys," Carly said, walking in.
"Dang, it, Carly!" Freddie moaned as him and Sam pulled apart.
"What?" Carly frowned. "Sam told me to come by at three!"
"Oh…right," Sam said. "Sorry, baby."
"It's fine," Freddie sighed, taking a few deep breaths. "What are you two going to do anyway?"
"Carls is going to help me address wedding invitations," Sam said.
"Oh," Freddie nodded. "Well do you need any help? I bought some special edition stamps just for the occasion! They have pictures of the original 1896 Trudgemaster."
"I think we'll be fine," Carly said quickly, exchanging a knowing looking with Sam. "Oh! But speaking of your wedding, I got you guys the best engagement present!"
"We get engagement presents?" Sam grinned. "Sweet!"
"Carly, you didn't have to-"
"Shut up!" Sam snapped. She turned back to her best friend. "So what'd you get us?"
"I made you an appointment with this really great photographer!" Carly said excitedly. "You know, for your engagement photos."
"Engagement photos?" Sam repeated. "That's a thing?"
"Well sure, don't you want to have pictures to remember this special day?" Carly said. "I read in a bridal magazine the other day that a lot of couples are getting them done."
"Huh, I guess we can use some pictures of the two of us," Sam said. "Right Freddie?"
"I dunno," Freddie said. "I'm not exactly photogenic."
"Oh, what are you talking about?" Carly said, rolling her eyes.
"Eh, he has a point," Sam said. "He always winds up making really weird faces in pictures. It's part of the reason he was always behind the camera when we did iCarly."
"Well, like I said, this photographer is really amazing," Carly said. "He's a professional. I'm sure he's used to working with less-than-photogenic people. You'll be fine, Freddie."
"Well I doubt that, but I'll give it a try," Freddie said.
"That's the spirit," Sam said, giving him a quick kiss. "Alright Carls, let's go do these invitations before I come to my senses and leave them all with you."
…..
"See, look at how good all these guys look," Sam said a few days later as her and Freddie stood in the waiting room of the photography studio. "This photographer clearly knows his stuff. I mean this guy on the beach looks amazing, and whoa, check out this guy playing golf! He is hot!"
"You having fun there?" Freddie asked, rolling his eyes.
"Little bit," Sam smiled.
"Sam and Freddie?" the photographer called out, sticking his out into the waiting room. "We're ready for you now."
"Say goodbye to your boyfriends," Freddie said to Sam as he took his fiancé's hand and followed the photographer.
"Alright, you're just getting an engagement picture, correct?" the photographer said.
"Yup," Sam nodded.
"Have you picked out your background?"
"Yes, we'd like the summer sunset," Freddie nodded. "Since our wedding's in June."
"I still say we should've gotten the swamp background," Sam mumbled.
"These are our engagement pictures, Sam," Freddie said. "We want them to look romantic; not like we're a couple of hillbillies!"
"Alright, well, this should be real simple," the photographer. "Just sit down on that bench right there, look into the camera, and smile."
"Got it," Sam said.
"Er, just so you know, I-I'm not real good at having my picture taken," Freddie told the photographer as him and Sam sat.
"Relax, sir, I've been doing this for twenty years," the photographer assured him. "I can make a beautiful portrait even out of the most un-photogenic individuals."
"Well you'll have your work cut out for you," Sam warned him.
"Okay then, I'll countdown," the photographer said, stepping behind his camera. "In three, two, one…smile!"
There was a flash of light, and the photographer stepped over to his computer to analyze the shot.
"Can we see how it turned out?" Sam asked.
"Of course," the photographer nodded.
The couple walked over to the computer and stared at the picture.
Sam looked perfect, giving the camera her signature smirk. Freddie, on the other hand, looked as though someone had hit him over the head with a bat.
Sam couldn't help but laugh.
"We'll have to redo this one," the photographer said.
"Can I please get a copy of this?" Sam asked.
"I told you, I'm bad with photos," Freddie sighed.
"Now, now, I am sure we will get one that you will love our next try," the photographer said. "Just try and look less…awkward."
"That's what I've been telling him for years," Sam chuckled.
"Hilarious," Freddie snapped.
"I'm kidding," Sam said. "Jeez, unknot your boxers, will you?"
"Er, are-are you two ready for the photo?" the photographer asked, clearly not used to this sort of behavior.
"Yeah, we're ready," Sam nodded as the two took their seats again.
"Alright," the photographer said. "In three, two, one…smile!"
He snapped the photo, and the couple stood up again to examine it.
"I look even worse that before!" Freddie exclaimed as he stared at the picture.
"Yeah, it looks like you swallowed a goat liver or something," Sam agreed. "Seriously dude, what is it with you and pictures? You look somewhat normal whenever you're not in front of the camera."
"I don't know," Freddie sighed. "But do you think we can have our engagement photos with just you in them?"
"You know Carly would march us right back here to have them retaken if we tried that," Sam pointed out. "Come on, I'm sure you'll get it this time. Just start thinking about Galaxy Wars or computers or something. You always get a dorky little smile on your face when you think of those things."
"Okay, well, I guess third time's the charm," Freddie nodded.
So once again the photographer counted down from and snapped the picture, and once again Freddie's expression came out looking less-than-flattering.
"Well, um, you-your teeth look really white in this one," Sam said, obviously trying to contain her laughter.
"I look like someone just spilled hot soup on me!" Freddie said. "People are going to see these pictures and think that I paid you to be in them with me or something."
"Yeah, probably," Sam agreed.
"Gee, I'm so glad my future wife is this supportive," Freddie said, his voice dripping in sarcasm.
"Come on, baby, you know I won't care how this picture comes out looking," Sam said, squeezing his hand. "This is just for fun. I love you no matter how ridiculous you look in photos."
"I know, but this is still our engagement photo," Freddie said. "I don't want to look like a total doof in it."
"Yeah, but you're my doof," Sam smiled, craning her neck to give him a short kiss. "Listen, let's just take one last photo, and that will be the one we go with. No matter how ridiculous it may wind up looking."
"Well…alright, I guess we can do that," Freddie said. "Otherwise we may be here all day." He turned to the photographer. "Um, listen, when you count backwards, would-would you actually mind not saying the one? I think that's kind of throwing me off a little bit."
….
"Wow, these pictures came out nice," Carly commented a week later as she watched Sam slide one of the engagement photographs into a frame. She stared down at the picture of Sam and Freddie, both with perfect smiles. "What was Freddie talking about him not being able to take a good picture. He looks great!"
"Yeah, that would be because he had a little help," Sam smirked.
"What do you mean?" Carly asked, confused.
"After the photographer took our picture, Freddie talked him into letting him work his tech magic to paste a smile from one of the studio models over his own," Sam explained. "So those are the ones we'll show people."
"Oh, so-so he was that bad?" Carly frowned.
"Yup, that dude cannot take a good picture to save his life," Sam said, reaching for a second empty frame. She pulled out another photograph and slid it in. "This is the original picture."
Carly glanced at it and almost spit out her smoothie.
"Why does he look like he's having a seizure?"
"Who knows," Sam shrugged.
"Well what are you going to do with that picture?" Carly asked. "Throw it away?"
"Nah," Sam said, smiling down at the photo. "I'm gonna keep it in our bedroom."
"To mock Freddie?"
"No," Sam replied. "I actually think this is a cute picture. It really captures his inner nub."
