Reminder of the Past
Magnus Tiggular was many things. A respectful, and respected King, a devoted father, and a kind person to those who didn't cross him. He had a softer side that many did not see publicly, as a King should be viewed as powerful, confident, and a peacekeeper. A King was someone who should be of strength. He had shown that side, but only a few times in his life, once when he first began his marriage to Ada, another when Fiyero was younger, and the other times, he could count on one hand. But, he began to count those times, on his other hand as well, when he walked into the royal Vinkun library, and found a heartbreaking scene before him.
There in the foyer of the large room, Elphaba centered in the middle of a circle of books, which Magnus assumed where magical journals, and she hadn't even noticed him standing there, completely absorbed in what she was reading, and Magnus slipped down the bookcases, to assume what he already knew the answer to. The Royal Vinkun had but a handful of magical books, and many were ancient, being kept as only a memory of their past, and ancestors.
Magnus brought his hand up to his forehead, rubbing lengthwise, trying to wipe the headache away that he knew was soon to come. He let out a soft sigh, as he reached the section that he had been looking for, and found it to be empty. He brought his hand to his forehead again, trying to come up with what to do next.
Tension had been high for the last two weeks, ever since the accident. Ada had locked herself into Fiyero's room, not leaving his side, waiting for him to wake. Elphaba hadn't been much better, mostly ignoring any staff who tried to get her to come for things such as dinners, and locking herself away or disappearing somewhere. Now that Magnus thought about it, this was the first time in two days of actually seeing Elphaba with his own eyes. He headed back to where the green girl had centered her in her circle.
This time, Elphaba turned to look at the King, hearing his footsteps, "Oh, Magnus! I didn't hear you come in. I think I might be finding something that may help, and-"
Magnus sadly watched, and listened on to Elphaba. But, he knew it was no use. He knew those magical journals had nothing that would work to bring their son, and her husband back to the way he once was.
He smiled, sadly, when he spoke again, cutting her off, and it was only nine words that completely unravelled all the green girl had been keeping locked up, "Elphaba. Fiyero wouldn't want you to be doing this."
Elphaba eyes, flashed angrily at the King, "Well, he wouldn't want me to sit around and do nothing!"
He saw the anger, actually he was happy to see her show something that he knew she was actually feeling, and not pretend that she was fine, "But, he wouldn't want you to not be eating, burying yourself in something that won't help, and hurting yourself more than you already are."
He watched as her eyes changed, from anger, to sadness. He knew he caught her off guard, knowing her, and the words leaving his mouth, sounding so much like Fiyero, made her resolve crumble.
All the warning had was her shoulders beginning to shake, and two hiccups escaping her lips, before the green girl completely broke down.
Magnus mentally thought to himself, six. This would be the sixth time, he was going to act as a father first, before acting as a King.
Taking off his kingly robes, as they were much too heavy, and laid it on the chair beside him, he looked the part of a father more than a king, showing his somewhat normal clothes, beneath the robes. He looked like Fiyero would many years into the future, especially without the royal garb. Fiyero was truly his spitting image if you put them side by side.
He kneeled beside the green girl, gathering her into his arms, holding her tightly and protectively, in an attempt to comfort the green girl. He knew it may be fruitless, but he had to attempt something. This was the first breakdown that she'd had since the accident.
"Elphaba," Magnus began, the green girl looking up at him through doe-like eyes, still clinging to his shirt like he had seen her do with Fiyero, the first night after the accident when she wouldn't let go of him, let alone leave, "you are allowed to grieve, you know?"
Elphaba looked up questioning, and then sadly, he reworded, "I don't mean because of the unknown extent of Fiyero's injuries. The doctor is sure, he will wake. But, that doesn't mean that your lives haven't changed. He may change from the Fiyero we currently know. You are allowed to grieve the life that you're leaving behind, and learn the one that is starting anew."
Elphaba still kept her stare steady with Magnus', not knowing what to say.
"Elphaba, you know that you couldn't have stopped the accident, right?" Magnus questioned. Elphaba's eye finally lowered toward the ground. They betrayed her, filling with tears again.
"Oh, Elphaba…" He rubbed her back, in soothing motions.
Elphaba hiccuped, "Magnus, if I hadn't asked him to go out for me, he wouldn't have been in the carriage, and it wouldn't have caused the damage that there is now! If it wasn't for me, Fiyero wouldn't have been out. I'm a curse, Magnus, a curse!"
"Oh, Elphaba. You are not a curse. Fiyero loves you, and he would not want you to be doing this to yourself. He went on his own accord. He wanted to pick up those supplies for you, it's the kind of guy he is. You couldn't have changed that Elphaba, neither could you have changed that carriage hitting Fiyero's. You can't control everything, and I know that bothers you, but you cannot, and it's just a fact. What you can focus on, is putting away these magic journals, Elphaba. You cannot fix this with magic. After that, focus on your husband. Focus on Fiyero because he is going to need you. We are all going to have to lean on each other to get through this, not pushing each other away."
Elphaba contemplated that, and attempted to compose herself, when in a heartbreakingly low tone, she asked, "But, what if he doesn't remember me?"
Magnus just stared, "How-"
Elphaba eyes met Magnus, "I heard him in the hallway, the first night after the accident. I know it may have damaged his memory. We won't know until he wakes."
Magnus clapped a hand on Elphaba's shoulder, "Then, and only then, we will deal with it. Okay?"
Elphaba heaved a sigh that took up all her energy, and could visibly be seen. She nodded, rubbing her eyes, and then playing with the hem of her dress.
They both sat in silence, for many clock-ticks before Magnus' voice cut the silence, "I lost a sister to the same type of accident that Fiyero was in."
Elphaba head snapped up, "What? Fiyero's never said anything before about an aunt."
Magnus shook his head, "He doesn't know. It was long before Fiyero was even born."
Elphaba nodded, and resumed playing the hem of her dress, "Elphaba," she looked up, "I know how you are feeling."
When she cocked her head to the side, he continued, "It was just weeks before my coronation. I had just began courting Ada for a few months at that point, and she, my sister, had been bothering me about the flowers that would line the royal hall where the coronation was to take place. I told her that I didn't care about flowers, and she huffed something to me about how it should look nice. I told her she could handle it then, pushing her aside, feeling like there was more important things than flowers to worry about. But to her, they were important. She kept going on about which flowers had been used in past generations, and how we should use them."
He looked, and saw that Elphaba was listening to him, and continued, "That day she stormed out mad at me, saying she was going to go into town, and find the flowers and bring them back to prove that they were important. She never came back, and they found the flowers in the carriage with her when it happened. She was on her way back to prove her big brother wrong, which she loved to do…"
He slightly shook his head as he recounted his story.
Elphaba laid a hand on Magnus' arm, "What was her name?"
Magnus smiled, thinking of his little sister, taken too young at just seventeen years, "Eytalia."
"Magnus, you know that couldn't be your fault? She left on her own terms, she wanted to go to get them, to prove you wrong."
And as soon as the words left her lips, she realized why he had told her this. Magnus let a small sad smile slip onto his lips, knowing he got through to the green girl.
"How long did it take you?" Elphaba asked, looking to Magnus, "To grieve, to forgive yourself?"
Magnus inhaled a deep breath, "Awhile, but I did, eventually. We can grieve our past, but we also have to think about our future, and how we are going to make it. Hold onto the fact that Elphaba, he is still here. Living, and breathing in just rooms away from us, right this moment."
She sat there, silent and frozen.
He gently scooped up all the magical journals, placing them back into the shelves where they belonged, and when he came back, Elphaba was now standing, hesitant and quiet. He slipped beside her, and grabbed his robe, putting it over his arm and offering his other to Elphaba, "Now, let's go see him, alright?"
Elphaba nodded, and took his arm. They walked down to Fiyero's room, and found Ada in her normal spot. She looked up, tired and drained, and Magnus held out a hand to his queen, as Elphaba made her way to Fiyero.
Ada understood, and made her way to Magnus, slipping out of the room, leaving her son alone for the first time and watching Magnus as he closed the door.
There before closing it, Magnus watched as Elphaba climbed into bed with Fiyero, wrapping herself tightly around him, laying her head on his chest and gripping his shirt in her hand as she began to drift off, hearing his repetitive heartbeat. Reminding herself, that he was there, alive and breathing, feeling his chest rise and fall.
Magnus smiled, and closed the door. He knew whatever the outcome was, that they were strong enough to get through this.
That eventually, they would be okay…
