AN-This oneshot takes place during iSaved Your Life
Also, glad to be back to writing! I've really missed it.
…..
When Sam Puckett woke up, she checked outside her window to see if any pigs were flying through the sky, because clearly the universe has been turned upside down. The rules of logic no longer seemed to apply. After all, how else could you explain the fact that for the past week Carly and Freddie had been a couple?
It was surreal.
It was weird.
It was…obnoxious.
And worst of all, it was really messing things up for her.
The past week she had suddenly found herself as the third-wheel of the group. At school in the mornings, when the three of them would normally gather around her and Carly's lockers and catch up (usually while she made herself waffles in her locker), Carly was now hanging onto Freddie as if her life depended on it. Sam couldn't even get two words in without 'Ridgeway's hottest new couple' interrupting her to exchange nauseating Eskimo kisses. And after school, the gang's usual Groovy Smoothie hang-out sessions were now cut out because Carly would always convince Freddie to take her to the park or to the yogurt shop or some place like that so that they could spend quality couple time together. And of course hanging out at Carly's apartment had lost its appeal, as Sam found her time there was now plagued with either having to watch the couple cuddle up with one another or, on the rare occasions when Freddie wasn't present, having to listen to her best friend go on an on and on about how sweet Freddie was.
It all was enough to make her puke.
She never thought this would happen. Sure, she had lived through two straight years of Freddie lusting after Carly, but that had been when they were younger. It had been quite some time before the tech producer had openly expressed his love to Carly. In fact, Sam could've sworn he had gotten over her…
That morning when she arrived at school, sure enough, Carly and Freddie were standing right in front of her locker. Carly was giggling as she brushed a stray hair off of Freddie's shoulder.
I knew I should've skipped today, Sam thought to herself as she watched the scene. Maybe it was her imagination, though, but it looked as if Freddie wasn't enjoying the attention too much…Or it could just be that his broken leg was bothering him. That was probably more likely. After all, as someone who had finally gotten the affection of his long-time crush, he must've been loving his life right now.
Slowly Sam turned around amend walked off in the other direction, away from her locker. She'd just get food from a vending machine (even though she had been looking forward to the bacon she had stored in her locker). She would have to get a couple snacks, for that odd sensation boiling in the pit of her stomach had to be hunger…didn't it?
…
"-And then Freddie and I kept sending these really cute texts all through study hall," Carly said later that afternoon as the girls sat up in the iCarly studio. "Want to hear some? They're super adorable."
"No," Sam said.
"I texted him 'I love that shirt color on you'," Carly said, ignoring Sam. "And he texted back 'Thanks. It matches your shirt'. Get it? Because we were both wearing blue today?"
"Yeah, I cracked the code," Sam said, rolling her eyes.
"Oh, what do you think I should get Freddie for our two-week anniversary tomorrow?" Carly continued.
"It's not two weeks since you guys got together," Sam frowned.
"No, but it will be two weeks since he pushed me from in front of that taco truck," Carly smiled. "Which is what got us together. Man…I still can't believe he did that. I mean how much more romantic can you get? It was like something right out of a romantic comedy! No one has ever done anything like that me before. It was…unbelievable. I mean he just risked his life for-"
"I've heard the story, Carly," Sam said, trying to keep from sounding too annoyed. "And I was there. Remember?"
"I know, but I just love telling that story," Carly chuckled, getting to her feet. "Anyway, I need to go to the mall to try and find his present. Wanna come? You can help me!"
"Um, I-I actually have to do some homework," Sam lied lamely. "Briggs has really been getting on my case lately…"
"Oh, okay," Carly shrugged. "Hey, while I'm out, I should stop at Glitter Gloss! They're having a huge sale on lip gloss, and I need to get some more pineapple gloss. It's Freddie's favorite. He says it makes his lips all tingly. He has the softest lips…"
I know, Sam thought to herself before she could stop.
"Well, I'll see you later," Carly said brightly. "Good luck with your homework!"
"Thanks," Sam mumbled.
Once Carly had left, Sam took a minute to enjoy the peace.
God, she's really something…Sam thought to herself as she leaned back in her beanbag chair. She was used to her best friend being super excited about relationships, but this was extreme, even for her.
And she doesn't even love him, Sam's thoughts continued. It's so obvious. Everybody but Freddie can see it. She just loves what he did for her. She loves that he was a hero for her. That's it.
Maybe that's why all of this was bugging her so much lately…Maybe that's why she felt like she had just been punched in the stomach every time she saw the two of them kiss. Because she knew it wasn't real, and, no matter how big of a nub she told Freddie he was, she didn't want him to wind up getting hurt.
Just then the studio door opened and Freddie himself walk in.
"Oh, hey Sam," he greeted the blonde. "I didn't know you were up here."
"Well I am," Sam said. "And you just missed your little girlfriend. She ran to the mall to stock up on pineapple lip gloss for you. She says you love it when she wears it."
"Did she?" Freddie said, sitting down on the beanbag chair across from her. "Oh."
"What?" Sam smirked. "Is it not your favorite?"
"It-it kind of makes me nauseous, to be honest," Freddie admitted. "It's way too fruity. Plus I think I'm allergic to it. It always makes my lips feel all tingly and painful."
"Well tough luck for you," Sam laughed. "Just tell Carly if it bugs you so much."
"No, it-it isn't that bad," Freddie mumbled quickly. "It would just hurt her feelings."
"Whatever," Sam shrugged. "So what are you doing here? Like I said, Carly's at the mall, and you know she can stay there for hours."
"I thought I'd just hang around here," Freddie said. "Hey, we can watch T.V or something."
"Alright," Sam shrugged, grabbing the remote and pointing it at the pullout monitor. "There's probably nothing on, though. It's just those lame after school specials."
"Well, I'm sure you can find something," Freddie said, sitting down next to her. "Hey, is Fear Fighter on?"
"Probably," Sam said. Fear Fighter was Sam and Freddie's favorite reality show. The two had stumbled across it one afternoon a few years back when Carly had been in Yakima, and they had been hooked ever since. "But I think it's just reruns. Last week ended on a real cliffhanger, which means they're going to make us wait at least another two weeks for a new episode."
"Well that's perfect, actually," Freddie said. "I'm two episodes behind."
"What?" Sam frowned. "Dude, it's getting really good! They just got a new team of lawyers who managed to bring back the Shark Tank!"
"I know," Freddie moaned. "But Carly hates that show. And she's always with me when it comes on, so I can never watch it."
"I'm pretty sure her girlfriend duties don't include controlling what you watch on T.V.," Sam pointed out.
"Try telling that to her," Freddie smirked, rolling his eyes.
Sam opened her mouth to reply, but managed to hold her tongue.
"Hey, did Carly say when she was going to be back?" Freddie asked.
"Um, no," Sam replied. "But you know her at the mall. It will probably be hours."
"Good," Freddie said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out Caramel Crunch candy bar. "Because I've been craving this all day."
"She won't let you eat candy?" Sam frowned in disbelief as Freddie bit into the treat.
"No," Freddie said. "Not all candy. Just the kinds with caramel in them. She says it makes my lips sticky, and apparently it's real unromantic to kiss someone with caramel covered lips."
I wouldn't mind, Sam thought before she could stop herself.
"I'll just have to drink a lot of water to get rid of the taste before she gets back," Freddie said, finishing the candy bar. "And she'll never know."
"Well," Sam said dryly. "You must be real happy in this relationship."
Freddie looked at her, but didn't respond.
"You know," Sam said slowly. "You don't have to do everything Carly says. She's your girlfriend, not your mom. You're a nub and everything, but nobody deserves to have their caramel consumption controlled. Or their T.V schedules."
Again, Freddie was silent.
"But…I guess getting to go out with the girl you've loved since you were eleven makes all that other stuff bearable," Sam continued. "Right? I guess you-"
"I thought it would be different," Freddie finally blurted out.
Sam blinked. "What?"
"D-Dating Carly," Freddie answered. "I mean…I've dreamed of it for years. I thought if I ever did get the chance to date her, it would be the best thing to happen to me. But-But…it's…well, it's not."
Sam nearly fell out of her seat. "You don't like her?"
"I-I do!" Freddie said quickly. "I-I just…This is all so weird. Dating her, I mean. It feels like I-I'm dating my sister or something. When we're just hanging out together, it's great. But then when she wants to do, er, coupley stuff, I-I dunno, it feels forced."
"You don't like her romantically?" Sam said softly, hardly daring to believe it.
Freddie took a deep breath before shaking his head. "I don't think I do."
Sam sat there, too stunned to even reply.
"But you can't say anything," Freddie said at once. "I know you two tell each other everything, and there's probably some sort of girl code for things like this, but you have to promise me you won't tell her that. It-It will crush her. I-I'll figure out what I'm going to do soon, but right now, it-it'd just be easier to leave everything as it is."
"But-"
"Please, Sam?" Freddie begged. "I know you hate me and all, but-but at least do this for Carly's sake, okay?"
Sam looked down at her lap. "Fine," she agreed. "I won't say anything to-"
"I can't believe I forgot my wallet," came Carly's voice as the brunette suddenly burst back into the studio. "I got halfway to the mall when I realized I had left it in my red purse and-Freddie! What are you doing here?"
"I-Uh-" Freddie stammered, quickly getting to her feet. "I just came by to hang out."
"Oh, well this is perfect, now you can come to the mall with me!" Carly said excitedly. "Won't that be a fun date?"
"Er, yeah, that-that sounds fun," Freddie said lamely.
"Ick, Sam, don't make Freddie watch this show," Carly cringed, glancing at the television screen, where Fear Fighter was still showing. "It's so gross."
She took Freddie's hand in hers and led him off towards the door. "Sam, you sure you don't want to come to the mall? You can try to find some new boots like you said you wanted. And you can get yourself those churros you like."
"No, I-I'll just stay here," Sam said, silently thinking to herself that all the boots and churros in the world couldn't make hanging around with that couple bearable.
"Well, suit yourself," Carly shrugged. "Come on, Freddie. Let's go."
Freddie looked back over his shoulder enviously at the television before he reluctantly followed Carly out of the room.
Once they were gone, Sam picked up the room and turned off the T.V., leaving only silence in the studio.
"I don't hate you," she whispered softly to nobody.
