Playground
"Mom, do you think I can maybe use your credit card to order a new pair of shoes online?" Ashton asked her mother as she came into the kitchen, where Sam, Emma, and Jason were making themselves large ice cream sundaes.
"Ashton, you're twenty years old," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "Don't you think you're a little old to be asking your mom for money?"
"Not really, no," Ashton said simply. "I figured it would make you feel young again."
"What do you even need new shoes for anyway?" Sam asked.
"My summer internship!" Ashton said. "Did you forget? In one week I'm going to be working at First Seattle Bank!"
"How could we forget? It's all you've been talking about," Jason smirked.
"Come on, you were excited when you got your first internship too," Sam said. "And last year when you got that job at the robotics company you were practically doing cartwheels."
"I still don't know why you need new shoes," Emma said, digging into her ice cream. "All you're gonna be doing is getting people coffee."
"Well I'll still have a more productive summer than you," Ashton retorted.
"Hey, I'm training for track all summer!" Emma snapped.
"By eating ice cream?" Ashton frowned, raising an eyebrow.
"I need fuel!"
"Eating ice cream does not give you fuel! It just slows you down!"
"Oh when did you become a fitness trainer?" Emma scoffed. "Why don't you stick to your boring numbers and-"
"Ugh, I just had to pick the week when everybody's here to come visit from California, didn't I?" Jason groaned. "I forgot how chaotic this place is!"
"You love it, and you know it," Sam said, playfully swatting her oldest child's shoulder. "I bet you get real lonely in that apartment down there all by yourself."
"He's not all by himself," Emma scoffed. "Eileen moved in with him last month."
"Emma!" Jason yelled as Sam nearly choked on her ice cream.
"Oh, were we not telling mom that?" Emma frowned. "My bad."
"Eileen moved in with you?" Sam exclaimed. "And you didn't think to run this by me first?"
"I-I didn't know I had to," Jason said.
"I'm your mom! You run everything by me!" Sam said. "When were you planning on telling me?"
"I dunno…eventually?"
"Mom, I'm surprised you didn't figure it out on your own," Ashton smirked. "I mean the only reason he came to visit this week was because Eileen had to fly out to Boston for work."
"So we're a distraction from your girlfriend's absence?" Sam gasped.
"You two are the worst!" Jason hissed at his sisters. "And you know what? If you're gonna play that game…Mom, over spring break Emma and Ashton went to Miami and got so wasted that they almost got arrested for breaking into a petting zoo!"
"You what?" Sam yelled, turning towards the twins.
"Tattle," Emma huffed to her older brother.
"Yeah, way to go running to mommy," Ashton snapped.
"Ugh, I hate having older kids," Sam moaned. "They're so much worse now."
Just then the back door opened and Freddie and sixteen-year old Tyler walked in.
"Oh thank God, my one kid who's not an adult yet," Sam said, rushing over to her son and throwing her arms around him. "Please don't grow up to be as horrible as your siblings, Tyler. Or at least don't let me find out about it."
"Huh?" Tyler frowned, confused.
"So how was the driving lesson?" Sam asked, letting go of Tyler.
"Oh this kid is never allowed behind the wheel again!" Freddie said firmly.
"Are you serious? I was fine!" Tyler exclaimed.
"Oh you were fine?" Freddie said. "You nearly hit three mailboxes and ran five stop signs! Not to mention that you were going at least twenty miles over the speed limit."
"Mom says the speed limit is a suggestion!" Tyler said.
"I was kidding!" Sam said quickly as Freddie glared at her. "You have to listen to those signs, Tyler."
"Dad, come on, I was supposed to get my license two months ago!" Tyler said, turning back to his father. "Jason, Emma, and Ashton all had their license by this time!"
"Well they were all more responsible," Freddie said.
"Yeah, sure," Sam scoffed under her breath.
"This is so unfair!" Tyler moaned. "How am I supposed to pick up chicks if I can't even drive on my own?"
"Use your bike," Freddie said simply, grabbing an orange from the fruit bowl on the counter.
"Why? So I can look as geeky as you?"
"Hey!" Freddie snapped. "You know what? You can march yourself up to your room right now!"
"Fine," Tyler said, turning around and heading out of the kitchen. "I was heading up there anyway."
"Oh-Oh yeah?" Freddie sputtered. "Well then…come back down here and socialize with your family! Yeah, now that's a real punishment, isn't-"
But he was cut off by sound of Tyler's bedroom door slamming shut.
"Why did we have kids again?" Freddie sighed as he massaged his temples.
"Good question," Sam said, shaking her head.
…
"I wonder if mom and dad ever figured out we used to sneak out over past curfew all the time when we were younger," Emma said later that evening as her and Ashton sat in the living room, watching T.V.
"Well mom caught us a few times, but I'm pretty sure dad was always oblivious," Ashton said. "Although they never did find out we threw a party that weekend they went to Vermont with Aunt Carly."
"That was fun," Emma chuckled. "Hey, remember that time we took mom's credit card and rented a party bus?"
"Oh yeah, and then we intercepted the bill before she found out!" Ashton grinned. "Wow…maybe we were terrible kids."
"Eh, there was a lot worse stuff we could've done," Emma shrugged.
"That's true," Ashton nodded.
Just then the front door opened and Jason poked his head in. "Hey, are mom and dad down here?"
"Nah, they're up in their room," Emma said. "God, they're getting old. It's nine o'clock! "Why?" Ashton asked.
"Er, I might have a slight situation on my hands," Jason said.
"What'd you do?" Emma grinned.
"Um, well, I-I needed to run to the store to buy some pudding cups-"
"Pudding cups?" Ashton smirked. "You're a grown man, you know."
"They're good!" Jason defended. "But anyway, you're parked right behind my car, so I had to take dad's car and, um, I-I sort of…I dented it!"
"No way!" Emma gasped. "He just got that car! He's gonna flip out!"
"No chiz!" Jason snapped.
"Well how bad is it?" Ashton asked. "Maybe he won't notice."
"Yeah, old people have vision problems, don't they?" Emma said.
"Okay, you do realize mom and dad aren't that old, right?" Ashton said, rolling her eyes. "They're only forty-seven."
"That's ancient!"
"It's pretty bad," Jason frowned. "It's the whole passenger door that's damaged. You'd have to be completely blind not to see it."
"How'd you manage that?" Emma asked.
"I swerved into a fire hydrant," Jason sighed. "But that's only because a squirrel ran out in front of me!"
"You're a dead man," Emma chuckled. "Hope Eileen likes having that whole apartment to herself back in California, because when dad gets his hands on you, he's going to-"
"Guys, come on, we're not little kids anymore," Ashton said. "We can totally solve this problem!"
"How?" Jason asked.
"Well, dad's probably not going to be using his car for the rest of the night," Ashton said. "He's already got his sweats on, after all."
"Oh yeah, that mean's he's done for the night," Emma nodded.
"Exactly," Ashton said. "So all you have to do is wake up early tomorrow and take the car into the shop to have it fixed. Just tell dad you're getting it detailed for him as an early Father's Day present or something if asks."
"Hey, you know, that's actually a smart idea," Jason said.
"Well I didn't get my fancy internship by being dumb," Ashton beamed.
"Yeah, because you have to be real educated to bring everybody their lattes in the morning," Emma said, rolling her eyes.
"I'm going to do more than bring people coffee!" Ashton snapped. "I have to file papers and schedule appointments and-"
"So you're a secretary then?" Jason laughed.
"Oh don't you have another car to ruin?" Ashton huffed, pushing past him.
…..
"I swear, Sam, it was like being in the car with a deranged psychopath," Freddie said, shaking his head as him and Sam sat in their bed that evening, flipping through the channels.
"Aren't all psychopaths deranged?" Sam frowned. "Aren't you being a little repetitive there?"
"Oh since when have you cared about grammar?" Freddie retorted. "But I'm serious, that kid isn't getting his license for at least another three months."
"Don't you think you're overreacting?" Sam asked, rolling her eyes. "Tyler's fine when I take him out driving."
"Yeah, well, apparently speed limits are a 'suggestion' for you, so no wonder he's so relaxed," Freddie mumbled.
"I was kidding!" Sam said. "Anyway, Tyler's not the kid we need to be concerned with right now. Did you know Jason and Eileen are living together now? I mean what's up with that?"
"Huh, really?" Freddie said. "That's nice."
"That's nice?" Sam sputtered.
"Sam, they've been dating for awhile, this makes sense," Freddie shrugged. "I'm surprised they didn't make this move sooner, honestly."
"So you're totally okay with your son living with his girlfriend?" Sam frowned.
"Baby, since when did you become so old-fashioned?" Freddie asked, amused. "In case you forgot, we moved in together for two whole years before we got married. And we were even younger than Jason and Eileen are now."
"Yeah, I know, but it's just so weird…it makes him seem so grown up," Sam sighed.
"He's twenty-four," Freddie said. "We had already had him when we were his age."
"I know, but it seems like just yesterday he was a little boy running around the playground, too afraid to go down the slide on his own," Sam said sadly.
"They grow up, Sam," Freddie said gently, putting his arm around her. "It happens."
"I know, but I don't like it," Sam mumbled, resting her head on his shoulder.
"I know you don't," Freddie said, kissing her temple. He glanced up at the T.V. screen. "Hey, look; Galaxy Wars is on!"
"Uh-uh, you know the rule," Sam said at once. "No sci-fi junk on in the bedroom. You want to watch this nerdy chiz, take it downstairs."
"Fine, but you're missing out," Freddie said, kicking back his covers and getting to his feet. "Hey, maybe Emma will want to watch with me. She loves these movies."
"Emma's not home," Sam said.
"Oh, well I'm sure it will still be on when she gets back," Freddie said. "It looks like there's a marathon going on."
"She's not coming back tonight," Sam said. "She texted me a little while ago. She went to Quincy's for the night."
"Excuse me?" Freddie frowned.
"Yeah, apparently Gibby, Tasha, Huey and Kirby went to Canada for the weekend, so Quincy has the house to himself," Sam nodded. "She'll probably be staying there until Monday."
"Since when do we allow this?" Freddie demanded. "Since when do we allow our daughter to spend the whole weekend in an empty house with her boyfriend?"
"Since when did you become so old-fashioned?" Sam grinned. "Don't you remember how many weekends we spent together alone at your place when your mom would go to those Aggressive Parenting conferences?"
"I remember too well, that's the problem!" Freddie said.
"Dude, she's twenty…"
"I know how old my daughter is, thank you!" Freddie said hotly.
"Not so easy watching your kids get older, huh?" Sam smirked.
"No," Freddie sighed. "It's not. Guess I'll just go watch my movie alone then. Well, at least I have my caramel corn down there to make me feel better."
"Oh right, about that…" Sam said. "I sort of finished that."
"What? Sam!"
"Hey, you knew the risks of leaving that can in the kitchen for anybody to get to!" Sam said. "So really you're the one at fault here, nub."
"But you-"
"Look, just go to the store and buy some more if you want some so badly," Sam said, rolling her eyes. "It's only ten o'clock. The corner store's still open."
"You know what? I will," Freddie said. "And then I'm going to hide it in a place where no one else can get to it."
"In the hall closet under the towels?" Sam asked knowingly.
"N-No," Freddie said lamely.
He headed downstairs, walking past the empty living room. He let out a soft sigh. It was sad to think that just a few years earlier, it would've been filled with the entire family getting ready for one of their traditional movie nights. Now three of his four kids were all grown up, and soon even Tyler would be an adult.
They really did grow up too fast.
Maybe he had been so hard on Tyler with this whole driving thing because deep down, he didn't want to let his youngest child grow up so quickly.
He's really not that bad of a driver, Freddie thought as he walked out of the house towards his parked car. Maybe if I stop freaking out every time he gets behind the wheel he can-
Freddie was jerked from his thoughts, though, once he reached his car and saw a huge dent in the passenger side door.
"What-How the-Tyler!" Freddie fumed. "That's it!"
He spun on his heel and marched back into the house.
"Hey, I thought you were going to the store," Sam said, coming down the stairs. "I was going to surprise you and have some hot chocolate waiting for you when you came-"
"Do you know what Tyler did to my car?" Freddie cut her off. "Huh? Do you?"
"What are you talking about?" Sam frowned.
"He dented it!" Freddie exclaimed.
"Seriously?" Sam groaned. "Wait…are you sure it was him?"
"Sam, come on, who else could it have been?" Freddie said. "Everybody else has their own car to use. You know what probably happened? He was probably all upset because he couldn't show off his driving skills to all the girls around town, so he took my keys and went on a little joy ride and wound up busting my car! Do you know how grounded he is? Tyler! Tyler, get down here! Now!"
"What?" Tyler said, coming downstairs from his room. "I was actually doing homework, you know."
"Tyler, what on earth were you thinking?" Freddie demanded.
"Um…what?" Tyler frowned, confused.
"Did you seriously think I wouldn't notice?" Freddie said loudly.
"Notice what?" Tyler asked.
"Oh don't play dumb with me!" Freddie said. "My car! You ruined it!"
"What are you talking about? I didn't ruin your car," Tyler said.
"Oh, so that giant dent just magically appeared?"
"Dent?"
"Ty," Sam sighed. "Just fess up. It's going to be easier for you if you do."
"But I didn't do anything!" Tyler exclaimed. "The last time I touched your car was this afternoon when you took me driving, dad. Honest!"
"I can't believe you're just going to sit here and lie to me," Freddie said, shaking his head. "It's one thing that you took the car out without your license, now you have the audacity to sit here and deny it straight to my face?"
"But I-"
"Well you know what? You-You're super grounded," Freddie said firmly.
"What's super grounded?" Sam whispered.
"For the next month, you don't get any electronics, any friends, any fun," Freddie said, crossing his arms. "And you're going to have to figure out a way to pay me back for the damage you did to the car."
"But I didn't do any damage!" Tyler yelled. "This is completely unfair!"
"What's unfair is that my son thinks it's okay to just lie to me," Freddie said. "Now go back up to your room."
"But I-"
"Now!"
"Ugh! I can't wait until I go to college and move out of this place!" Tyler fumed, stomping back up the steps.
"When did our kids become absolute terrors?" Freddie sighed, turning to Sam.
"Not sure," Sam said. "Probably when they started talking."
…..
"Alright, here's your tofu bacon," Sam cringed, sliding a plate of grayish strips over to Ashton the next morning. "Don't know how you can eat this stuff…"
"It's pretty good, you should give it a chance," Ashton said.
"I think I'll pass," Sam said dryly as the back door opened and Emma walked in.
"Morning," Emma said.
"Morning," Sam replied. "What are you doing home? I figured you'd be hanging out at Quincy's for the whole weekend."
"I'll probably go back over later," Emma shrugged. "But all he has for breakfast at his place is this weird oatmeal mess that his mom eats."
"Gross," Sam cringed. "I'll cook you some eggs in a minute. I just have to get the frying pan out of the bathtub…"
"Why's the frying pan in the bathtub?" Ashton asked.
"Just a little experiment I was doing," Sam grinned as she hurried out of the kitchen. She nearly bumped into Jason on her way out.
"Sorry, sweetie," Sam said quickly. "You want some eggs for breakfast?"
"Uh yeah, sure," Jason nodded.
"Alright, be back in a sec," Sam said.
"So, did you take dad's car into the repair shop?" Ashton asked as Jason sat down at the table.
"No!" Jason hissed. "Because the car's not out there anymore!"
"Are you serious?" Ashton frowned.
"Yeah, he's right, I didn't see it in the driveway just now when I got here," Emma nodded. "I thought Jason was out with it, but I guess dad must've gone somewhere."
"Which means he saw the dent!" Jason moaned.
"Well…okay, that kind of sucks, I guess," Ashton said. "But think about it, is it really that big of a deal? You're not a kid anymore; dad can't ground you. You'll just have to pay him back for the damages and then it's done."
"Yeah, but then I have to deal with him being all disappointed with me," Jason sighed.
"Oh, that is the worst," Emma nodded. "He has this way of making you feel all guilty…sometimes it's worse than just straight yelling."
"It really is," Jason nodded. "But…well, it looks like I have no other choice. I guess I'll just have to tell him when he gets back and-"
"-Well, you heard the mechanic, Tyler," Freddie said as him and Tyler stepped into the kitchen from the back door. "That dent's going to cost you six hundred dollars. And since you don't have a job, I suggest you start thinking up some way to get that money."
"Why do I need to pay six hundred bucks for a dent I didn't make?" Tyler said, rolling his eyes.
"Are you still sticking to that story?" Freddie frowned.
"You mean the truth?"
"Um, what's going on?" Ashton asked.
"Dad's being crazy, that's what's going on," Tyler said.
"No," Freddie said. "Your brother decided he'd take my car out for a little joyride last night, and wound up damaging one of the doors."
Jason and the twins exchanged quick, horrified glances.
"For the millionth time, I didn't do anything!" Tyler said. "Maybe someone threw something at your car or-"
"Tyler, the sooner you can just admit that you made a mistake, the sooner I may consider easing up on your punishment," Freddie said firmly. "But until you do, I'm just going to keep on adding to it."
"What more can you possibly add to this ridiculous punishment?" Tyler scoffed.
"Oh you'd be surprised, my friend!" Freddie replied.
"Oh my God," Emma whispered to Jason. "Dad thinks Tyler dented his car!"
"I know," Jason sighed. "I feel awful. Poor kid…"
"What was that, Jason?" Freddie asked.
"Um, nothing!" Jason said quickly. "N-Nothing at all."
…..
"Dude, you have to tell dad you're the one who wrecked his car," Ashton said later that afternoon as her, Emma, and Jason sat in the living room.
"Yeah, dad's really bringing it down on Tyler," Emma nodded. "Even I've never been as grounded as him."
"I know!" Jason moaned.
"You're a twenty-four year old man," Ashton said, rolling her eyes. "Are you really so afraid of getting in trouble with your dad?"
"He'll just yell," Emma said. "I've found it best to just tune him out and let him tire himself out. It's not that hard."
"Yeah, maybe not for you," Jason snapped. "How many times has dad been mad at you guys?"
"I dunno, probably a few times," Ashton shrugged. "Like when I would sneak out of the house to school in outfits he called 'inappropriate' or when I accidently broke one of his train sets when I was a kid."
"At least once a week when I was a kid," Emma said.
"Well dad has never been mad at me," Jason said. "I'm his golden kid!"
"Whoa, are you serious?" Emma frowned. "You've never had dad mad at you?"
"No," Jason said, shaking his head. "Sure, mom's been on my case a few times, but never dad."
"What a dork," Emma chuckled.
"Look, I-I just don't want to let him down, okay?" Jason sighed. "Make fun of me all you want for that, but, well, dad being proud of me has always been really important to me."
"What? You think that we don't want dad to be proud of us?" Emma frowned. "Of course we do!"
"Yeah, he's our dad," Ashton said. "But do you seriously think he's not going to be proud of you anymore because you did something to his car? That's insane!"
"Yeah, getting in trouble just means you're normal," Emma said. "It's a rite of passage that you should've taken like, twenty years ago."
Just then the front door opened and Tyler dragged his feet into the house.
"Hey, Tyler," Jason said. "What are you doing home so early? Don't you usually hang out with your friends after school?"
"Dad grounded me, remember?" Tyler mumbled. "Or, no, my bad, he super grounded me. So I can't do anything after school anymore except be miserable here."
"Wow, I've never seen Tyler looking so glum," Ashton commented as Tyler headed up to his room.
"Yeah, me neither…dang it!" Jason sighed. "I've got to come clean to dad…don't I?"
"If you have a conscious, you do," Ashton nodded.
…
That evening, as Freddie sat in his office, working on his computer, Jason slowly approached the doorway, taking a deep breath as he stepped into the room. "Dad?"
"Oh, hey Jason," Freddie said brightly, looking up from the screen. "What's up?"
"Um, I-I just wanted to talk to you," Jason said.
"Ah…I figured this was coming," Freddie said.
"You did?"
"Sure, your mom told me all about it," Freddie nodded.
"Mom knew?"
"Well she said you told her," Freddie said.
"Er, what are we talking about here?" Jason frowned.
"You moving in with Eileen," Freddie said. "I've been meaning to talk to you about that. It's a big step, but I'm sure you two will be very happy together."
"Um, no, that-that's not what I wanted to talk to you about," Jason said quickly. "It's actually about your car."
Freddie's smile faltered. "I just don't know what we're going to do with your brother. I can't believe he's still lying to my face about this whole thing. You and your sisters never did that!"
"Yeah, um, about that-"
"I don't know if it's the kids he's hanging out with, or what, but that kid is really starting to get out of control," Freddie continued. "Your mom and I really need to start cracking down on him. I mean sure, today it was only my car he ruined, but what if tomorrow he-"
"Dad, Tyler didn't wreck you car," Jason blurted out.
"Huh? What do you mean?" Freddie frowned. "Of course he did. I mean who else could it have been?"
"Um…it-it was…it was me," Jason sighed.
"You?" Freddie said. "I-I don't follow…"
"I-I needed to run to the store the other night, and Ashton was parked behind my car, so I just took yours," Jason explained. "And then there was this squirrel and, well, I-I wrecked it. So I'm the one you should be mad at. Me. Not Tyler."
"W-Wow," Freddie said heavily. "It was really you? But you're the good one!"
"I'm sorry dad, it was a dumb mistake," Jason said. "I'll pay you back for the damage, I swear! Just…Just don't punish Tyler anymore."
"I guess I owe him one heck of an apology," Freddie said heavily. "I was really hard on him."
"I owe him an apology too, I guess," Jason nodded. "For making him take the blame so long."
"Why did you make him take the blame, though?" Freddie asked.
"I dunno, I guess I just didn't want you to be disappointed in me," Jason admitted. "It's dumb, I know. I'm twenty-four, not some little kid. But, well, what you think of me still means a lot to me."
"Jason," Freddie chuckled. "It wouldn't matter if you destroyed my whole car; I'd still be proud of you. You're my son! I'm proud of all my kids, no matter what."
"Yeah but…I'm the good one," Jason said lamely.
"Hey, just because you did something stupid, doesn't mean you're not a good person anymore," Freddie said. "All four of you are good kids. You guys may get into trouble once in awhile, but that doesn't change anything."
"Thanks," Jason said, feeling somewhat relieved. "I just feel terrible that I made Tyler get in trouble. I wish there was something I could do to make it up to him."
"Join the club," Freddie nodded. "But I'm sure you'll have plenty of time to think of ideas during your punishment."
"You're punishing me?" Jason frowned. "I'm an adult!"
"Yeah, I don't really care," Freddie said brightly. "You're staying here until Friday? That gives you plenty of time to weed the backyard, reorganize the attic and clean the bathrooms."
"What if I just go back home to California?"
"You won't," Freddie smiled. "Because you're the 'good one'. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to take your brother to the sporting goods store. Maybe a new basketball hoop will make up for this whole thing…"
