When he finally crawled into bed beside Lloyd it was almost three in the morning. His partner had rolled until he was practically on top of him, giggling softly as he whispered, "Why were you late, huh?" Zane's face flushes, already knowing what the younger man was trying to hint at.

"I was merely taking Kai's advice," he defends weakly, and Lloyd rolls off him with a hum.

"Was he good?" Zane reaches out and grasps Lloyd's hand, thinking.

"He was very good. Well spoken. I learnt very much about him."

"Yeah?" Lloyd's voice is heavy, and Zane smiles fondly. "Like what?"

"He and Kai have been friends since, according to him, the beginning of time. They got into quite a few compromising situations." Lloyd giggles, pressing his face into their hands and mumbling something incoherent. "The videos I watched were mostly him telling stories of his life, although I did see some for something called ASMR."

"That's...heard of it..." Lloyd barely manages to get the words out, "Makes you feel all tingly. Very nice."

"Go to sleep," Zane whispers softly. "I'll tell you more in the morning."

"Bully," Lloyd utters around a yawn, and Zane chuckles softly. As Lloyd drifts back to sleep Zane lays awake, staring at his partner. He is not a praying man-hasn't been since he was small-but he prays now, lips forming words he believes with all his heart.

Zane prays feverishly that this is the thing they have both been waiting for.

...

Cole wanders around his apartment, restless. He had cleaned everything he could without having to rearrange the furniture, twice, and he was desperate to find something that would keep the thoughts out of his head. As he's making his third trip around the apartment he hears something scratching, and sighs in relief. Running his hands through his hair he goes to the front door, opening just enough that the source of the scratching can slip through. "Nice to see you too, Google."

Google-a lanky, Siamese cat-curls around his ankles and purrs loudly. "Pixel know you're here?" The cat meows, and Cole reaches down to pick her up. "Either way, thanks for coming to visit." Google lets him cradle her in his arms, rubbing her face against his and pawing at his shoulders. The cat chirps at him as he makes his way to couch, and when he sits she settles in his lap, turning to face him. "Yeah? What is it Google?" The cat meowed and raised one of her slim paws to gently tap his nose.

Cole laughed so hard Google jumped off his lap, moving to stare at him from the safety of the armrest. "Pixel's boyfriend has you trained well, huh? I keep telling him he should quit his job as a mechanic and become a cat whisperer." Google flicks her tail at him and he laughs again. "I know, I know. I'm sorry. Forgive me?" There's a pause, and it's so quite Cole can hear the bed creaking in the apartment above him. Google gracefully leaves the armrest and comes back to his lap, purposefully flicking his chin with her tail.

For a while the two sit, Cole letting Google rub against hands and barely protesting when the cat decides to knead her claws into his thigh. It relaxes him more than cleaning the house had, and for once he doesn't care about what time it is and how he should be sleeping, or editing, or any number of things really. For a blissful moment all his head is full of is the cat in his lap and the way she chirps when he presses her paws or how deep her purrs sound when he rubs behind her ears.

Eventually Google rises, kneading her paws into his thigh one last time before hopping off the couch and sauntering to the door. Cole laughs quietly, shaking his head as he follows. She waits patiently as he scoops her up again and heads to the hallway. The lights flicker, and he hums as he walks to the apartment where Google really should be. Knocking on the door softly, he waits a few minutes before the door slowly opens. "Hey Pixel."

The woman standing at the door smiles at him fondly, and he can't help but smile back. "I hope Google did not bother you."

"Nah, she's welcome any time." The cat gives a loud chirp before Cole passes her to Pixel. "Did you get new tattoo?"

"No, no. I just got the old one's touched up." She shrugs a bit, cooing at the cat in her arms which were wrapped in bandages. Cole had learnt she did that to prevent her boyfriend from scratching them when they were together. She was quite proud of her tattoos, and Cole couldn't say he blamed her. Both arms had been done to look like circuit boards, and she had talked about doing something similar on her legs and back, all in the same purple ink. "Were you working?" He asks, and she nods.

"Yes. Crypt is out with the boys at his work, so I had the evening to myself."

"Quite a luxury," he sighs dramatically and she laughs, leaning against the doorframe.

"Come over for dinner on Saturday," she states suddenly. "As thanks for entertaining the cat."

"Are you sure? Will Crypt mind?" Pixel shrugs before placing a kiss on his cheek, having to stand on the tips of her toes to reach him.

"Get some sleep, Cole. I'll call next time I let the cat out." He smiles as she turns back into her apartment.

"If you want. You can call for other reasons, too." That makes her laugh, and Cole feels his chest swell with pride. It's not often he can get her to laugh.

"Goodnight, Cole."

"'Night, Pixel."

...

Lloyd sits up with a sigh, blearily rubbing his eyes. It's too early, he decides firmly. His partner stirs beside him but does not wake, and Lloyd presses a gentle to kiss to his temple before sliding out of bed. The clock on the dresser reads 9:45 A.M. in bright red letters, and he double checks it to make sure Zane's alarm had been set. After fumbling a bit Lloyd set Zane's alarm and went to grab both of their phones from the nightstand. Lloyd usually answered messages and emails for the both of them in the morning, especially on nights when Zane had classes. A quick glance at his own phone shows that he has no messages, and he sets it back on the nightstand with a grin. Zane's, however has several, and Lloyd sits on the edge of the bed to try and answer them. The first two are from people he doesn't know, but he assumes they are in one of Zane's classes if the desperate pleading to borrow his notes is anything to go by. Lloyd imitates his boyfriend's typing style perfectly as he turns the both of them down gently (even though he wants to tell them both to fuck off and stop mooching off his boyfriend). The third message catches his attention, and he opens it eagerly.

From: Unknown Number

Hey, it's Cole. I figured we could meet around 12-1 today, if that's OK with you? You can pick where we meet, too.

Lloyd grins, because God, Cole sounds so awkward. It's extremely endearing, and he has to bit his lip to keep from laughing as he types a reply.

To: Unknown Number

heya Cole! It's Lloyd! Zane's sleeping rn but 12 is good! there's this little café downtown, if you wanna go?

He hits send and makes sure to save Cole as a contact in Zane's phone and send the number to himself. Part of him wonders if he should be embarrassed because of the drastic change between there two typing styles, but after mulling it over he decides he really doesn't care. He sets Zane's phone by his own on the nightstand without waiting for a response and opens the dresser, scanning through everything before grabbing one of his favorite dresses for himself and a white button-up and jeans for Zane. Lloyd sets Zane's clothes on the bed before going to take a shower, taking a moment to stretch as the water heats up. His mind begins to wander as he steps into the shower, and he wonders what kind of person Cole is. From what he had heard yesterday he seemed kind, if not a bit awkward, and it made his heart flutter in his chest. He had also heard Zane talking about pronouns, and the fact that Cole was willing to accept him made him want to sing. Zane seemed to like him, and if Zane liked him then Lloyd would, too.

As soon as he stepped out of the shower Zane's alarm went off, making him laugh. He reached for a towel, listening carefully for any indication he would need to return to the bedroom. A knock at the door startled him and he quickly called, "Zane?"

"May I come in?"

"Yeah." Lloyd calls back, feeling heat crawl across his skin. The door opens and Zane smiles at him; Lloyd finds it hard to be embarrassed when Zane smiles at him like that. "Hi."

"You will look good in that," Zane's eyes flicker to the dress laid across the sink.

"Zane," Lloyd whines, holding out his arms to the blonde, "I just got out of the shower."

"Do you not want me to?" Zane asks genuinely, and Lloyd feels heat pool in his stomach.

"Let's be quick, yeah?" Lloyd grins shyly at Zane who nods, and any coherent thought quickly leaves Lloyd's mind when the older boy presses their lips together.

...

Even after the friendly chat with his neighbor and the hour he had spent with Google Cole had still felt restless, but he had managed to fall asleep for a few hours. When he woke up his knees were pulled up painfully close to his chest and his neck was incredibly stiff, but he smiled and took a few minutes to rub the tenseness out of his limbs. As soon as he had finished his phone vibrated and he grabbed it eagerly. Reading through the message he couldn't help but grin, quickly saving Zane's number and typing a response.

To: Zane

Twelve works! If you could send me an address I'll meet you there.

Cole sends the message without thinking to much about it, arching his back into one final stretch before maneuvering himself off the couch. He's impressed by how late he slept; even after Google's visit, on nights like that he tended to sleep very little. So he gladly accepted the four hours he had gotten even if it meant that his joints creaked and his muscles ached throughout the day. He's tempted to sit and stretches for a few more minutes-he remembers all the routines from previous dance camps and videos that he watched ages ago-but a hot shower sounds amazing and if he stretches for any longer he'll be stuck on the carpet all day trying to get each stretch perfect. So, to ease the ache he raises his arms over his head and arches his back until the stretch is almost painful. He makes sure to be extra careful easing out of it, grabbing his phone once he finishes. He must have really zoned out because there's another message from Zane, as well as one from an unknown number sent about a minute after his own message. Opening the one from Zane first, Cole can't help but grin a little.

From: Zane

Hey i'mma send you a message from phone in a sec so if you get a message from an unknown number it's from me :D ~Lloyd

To: Zane

Alright. Thanks Lloyd. :D

He grins dumbly at his phone, walking to the bathroom to jump into the shower. He responds to the text from the unknown number-which is nothing more than Lloyd's name and a bunch of emojis that don't make sense to Cole but cause him to laugh anyway-in a similar way, and he scrolls through his music until he finds a playlist that fits his happy mood. The beginning notes of "Folding Chair" by Regina Spektor fill the bathroom, and Cole lets any remaining tension leave him as he turns the water on as hot as it will go. He pointedly ignores the burning sensation when he steps in, running his hands through his hair. Maybe I could vlog today? If Lloyd and Zane are okay with it, that is. Maybe I'll ask them before I go? Those thoughts quickly turn into planning what he should wear today, and a dangerous idea quickly slips into his mind.

I should wear makeup today.

He hasn't worn makeup in a while, and the thought excites him as much as it makes him nervous. Zane had asked if Lloyd could wear feminine clothing, and Cole hadn't been lying when he said he was fine with it. But clothing and makeup were two different things. Cole needed them as his roommates. Badly.

A little eyeliner won't kill you, Cole.

...

"You sure were possessive today," Lloyd says with a hum, admiring the new marks on his neck in the mirror.

"I apologize," Zane began weakly, and Lloyd let out a little laugh.

"Don't be sorry, babe. It was hot as fuck. I liked it. I don't mind it."

"But what about Cole?'

"Listen, he already knows we're in a relationship, right? It shouldn't matter. Stop worrying and bask in the afterglow with me." Zane shakes his head minutely before pressing a kiss to the ring of marks on Lloyd's shoulder.

"Do you want me to grab a different dress?" Zane asks, and Lloyd is stomach flutters with how much he loves his boyfriend.

"That's sweet of you, love. But I'm fine. Tell me if you can see the hickey on my thigh, okay?" Zane nods, and Lloyd pulls away long enough to shuck his towel onto the floor and pull the dress over his head. It's probably his favorite-it was essentially an oversized sweater, and the forest green fabric slipped off his shoulders to reveal the bruising skin. "Do you mind me showing this much?" He asks, tugging the dress down so it covers a bit more of his thighs.

"If you're comfortable, then I do not mind." Lloyd smiled at his boyfriend, holding out his arms.

"Carry me to the bedroom?" Zane smiled back, letting Lloyd wrap his arms around his neck and curl his legs around the other man's waist. "You're so strong, babe."

"You flatter me," Zane replies, and Lloyd nuzzles into his neck. "Are you excited?"

"Very." Lloyd giggles as the other gently drops him on the bed. "And you? Are you excited?"

"I am," Zane answers honestly, running his hands through his boyfriend's hair.

"We can't go now, can we?"

"Lloyd, it's barely ten-thirty." Zane rolled his eyes at his boyfriend's childish whine, watching as he flopped back on the bed.

"Would you like me to put your shoes on?" Lloyd perks up at the offer, and nods eagerly. Giving his boyfriend's knee a gentle pat, Zane got up to go and get his partner's shoes. "Which pair would you like, dearest?"

"My Converse," Lloyd says, then quickly adds, "The white ones. Please?"

"Of course," Zane calls back, trekking through the house to get the shoes in question. After grabbing the shoes Lloyd wanted and a pair for himself Zane returned to the bedroom, smiling softly when he saw Lloyd sitting nervously on the edge of the bed. "You're gonna wear those?" Lloyd asked, eyes bright.

"They are my favorite pair," Zane replies, and Lloyd's grin takes his breath away. Settling in front of Lloyd, Zane presses a kiss to his knees. "They are one of a kind, after all. People would pay millions for a pair like them." Lloyd grasps at Zane's hair, letting out a muffled gasp as Zane kisses along his leg.

"Zane, you're embarrassing me." Lloyd whines, and Zane chuckles.

"You are cuter than usual when you're embarrassed." Zane presses his lips against Lloyd's ankle, who squirms a bit. Tugging a bit on Zane's hair Lloyd lets out a breathy sigh when Zane pulls his mouth away from his ankle. "There. Now we can leave and not be excessively early."

"Zane!" Lloyd laughs, bringing his hands down to cup Zane's face.

"I love you."

"I love you, too." Zane replies easily, scooting back a bit as he began untying the knot in Lloyd's left shoe. The younger wriggles his toes in response, giggling into his hands.

"I love you the most," Lloyd counters, teasing. "More than the sun and the moon and the stars."

"And I love you more than the ice and snow, the flowers and the trees, the sunset and the sunrise." Zane's voice is soothing, and Lloyd can feel any of the jitters he had felt about meeting Cole melt away. He slips Lloyd shoe on easily, brushing his ankle slightly in a way that he hopes is comforting. A breathy sigh from Lloyd lets him release on of his own, and a tension he didn't know was there leaves his shoulders. He does the second shoe in a similar way, and as soon as it's on Lloyd stand up with a grin. "Let's go, yeah?" Zane smiles fondly back at him, and takes the hand that Lloyd offered.

"Let's."

...

A little eyeliner had quickly turned into a full face. It had started slowly, foundation, concealer, perfectly winged eyeliner (he had almost cried at that)...and then he had started contouring. He had started as he usually did by creating shadows underneath his lip and creating stronger ones along his nose. And then it came to his cheeks. He considered doing something more feminine, but after studying himself in the mirror he decided to carve out his cheekbones and jaw line as skillfully as he knew how. It took a while, but eventually he could barely recognize himself in the mirror. God, did he love that feeling. He looked just a bit closer to how he wanted to-another step away from everything his father had wanted. It made him giddy, and he hummed to himself as searched through his lipsticks. "Go black, Cole. You wouldn't dare." He murmurs to himself, and finds himself laughing out loud. "Oh, I would." Reaching for the sturdiest black in his arsenal, Cole applied it easily. As soon as he placed it back in the container his phone vibrated, and it made him jump.

From: Zane

Lloyd and I are on our way to the cafe. We will meet you there soon, yes?

To: Zane

Yeah, I'm just heading out. I'll get us a table, yeah?

Cole hits send without thinking too hard about it, giving his bangs a good tousle before grabbing a pair of his boots and heading to the door. His phone vibrates again and he checks it with a smile.

From: Zane

While I am extremely glad for your offer, I do not know what you look like.

Cole feels his face heat up, and he hesitates in the doorway.

To: Zane

Ah, right. Hang on a moment.

Cole hesitates a moment before shutting the door and leaning against it, glancing around to see if anyone was in the hall. Thankfully, no one was around, and he quickly took a picture of himself.

To: Zane

Image sent

I'll be there in a few :D

The emoji makes him feel better, and he closes his messages before he can stare at the picture too long. All right, Cole, calm down. It's one picture. Now get going! His phone vibrated against his thigh but he ignored it, making it about half-way down the hall before one of the doors opened. "Hey chief."

"Hey yourself," he retorts back playfully as his neighbor leans in the doorway.

"Pixel said you stopped by last night. Everything all right?" He's still unused to his neighbor caring about him, especially since he's usually blunt and rash.

"Couldn't sleep," it wasn't a lie, but his neighbor's brows furrow regardless.

"Heading out?"

"Yeah," the tension leaves him in a rush and his neighbor laughs.

"Right, well, I won't keep you. Call if you need a ride home." The exaggerated wink the other man gives him makes him laugh despite the implications behind his statement.

"Alright, sure. Whatever." Cole jumps a bit when the other man grabs his arm and waits patiently for the other man to say something.

"Thanks for coming over last night," there's a serious undertone in the man's voice, and before Cole can ask about it the door opens and Pixel joins them, Google help possessively in her arms.

"Cryptor, Cole. What are you two up two?" She leans against Cryptor, who places a kiss on the top of her head.

"Nothin', babe. Just wishin' Cole luck."

"Oh?" Pixel looks amused, and Cole feels something stir in his chest. "Well, don't let us keep you. Call if you need anything." Cryptor laughs loudly at that, wrapping an arm around his girlfriend's waist before giving Cole a playful shove.

"Go get 'em tiger!" Cole shakes his head and continues towards the stairs after bidding the pair goodbye. You can do this Cole. They wouldn't believe in you if you couldn't.

He repeats the phrase over and over until the syllables run together, and by the time he steps out of the apartment building he beings to believe it.

...

Lloyd stared at the photo, trusting Zane to guide him away from lampposts and any people that passed them on the street. "He's so pretty," he coos for what has to be the thirteenth time, but Zane hums patiently and tugs him out of the way of a young couple pushing a stroller. Lloyd is tempted to send a whole message of just emojis-again, because the first set doesn't accurately represent the way his heart flutters and his breath is stolen from his lungs at just the sight of him. "Zane, I'm going to fuck this up." He whispers, and Zane grips his hand a little tighter.

"No, you will not."

"Will too," the argument is weak, and Lloyd presses their shoulders together as they walk. "Probably."

"Perhaps, but who is to say it won't end wonderfully?"

"Always the optimist, huh?" Lloyd teases, and the gentle smile he receives from Zane chases his fears away for a blissful moment.

"Only when it comes to us," is the soft reply, barely heard over the din from the street. But Lloyd hears, and it makes his heart ache and he tightens his grip on Zane's hand. "There it is. Are you ready?"

"No," Lloyd replies honestly, but finds himself grinning. "But fuck it, let's go!"

Zane laughs, and Lloyd knows that no matter what happens, they're going to be alright.