Slipping Zane's phone into his pocket Lloyd let his boyfriend lead him into the café, huddling closer when he realized how packed it was. He was tempted to leave, text Cole an apology and hope he understands how controlling anxiety can be when he spots the man in question causing his heart to stop. Cole is looking at his phone, taking one black lip between his teeth as he focused. His hair was pulled up into a bun, but some of the strands weren't long enough and fell messily around his face. He seems perfectly at ease, laughing to himself at whatever message he was reading. Lloyd forces himself to take a shaking breath before turning to his partner. "Found him," he chokes out, and Zane nods, giving his hand a squeeze.

"Relax," Zane murmurs. "Deep breaths. I won't let them hurt you."

"I know," he speaks louder than he normally would, desperate to be heard over the other people. "I know."

"Would you lead me to him?" Zane asks gently, brushing his thumb over Lloyd's hand.

"Yeah," the gesture soothes him greatly, and he tries to mold his expression into something confident as he leads Zane towards the booth that Cole was sitting at. "Cole Matthews?" He asks, hating the way his voice rises and threatens to crack. The other boy looks up in surprise, but his expression quickly melts into something warm.

"You're...Lloyd, right?" Cole turns off his phone as he speaks, even going so far as to turn it upside down on the table.

"That's me." He replies weakly, and Zane squeezes his hand gently. Cole absolutely beams at him, and if Zane hadn't been holding onto him Lloyd might have floated away from glee. "So that makes you Zane?"

"Yes, and it a pleasure to make your acquaintance." Lloyd can't help but feel envious of Zane's level head, but he's extremely grateful that he has it.

"Hey, the two of you can sit down...if you'd like?" Cole raises the last few words politely as if he was asking a question, and the couple exchange looks before settling into the booth. "That dress is cute, by the way. It suits you." Lloyd feels his face heat up, and a quick glance at Cole shows that the other is just as red. Zane chuckles and nudges him gently. "Thank you," he blurts with all the eloquence of a toddler, and that just makes his boyfriend laugh. The kind that makes his head tilt back and shoulders shake; the kind that makes Lloyd so weak in the knees he feels like he's going to faint. Instead, he buries his face into Zane's shoulder and pouts, muttering, "You're bullying me. Both of you."

Cole laughs then, and Lloyd watches him with wide-eyes. His eyes close when he laughs, Lloyd notices, and his heart swells at the sight. The makeup is nice, too! Maybe he could teach me how to do that? Cole settles after a minute, looking at the pair with a smile. "The waitress keeps coming over and asking if I'm waiting for someone. I'm pretty sure she thinks I've been stood up." The words come out between chuckles, and Zane hums in acknowledgement.

"Sorry to keep you waiting so long." Lloyd mumbles, and Cole shrugs.

"It's no problem; gave me time to check the comments section of my latest video."

"You make videos?" Lloyd asks excitedly. Zane mentioned he makes videos, but I still don't really know much about it.

"Yeah, I was actually planning to make one today, if that's okay?" Cole rubs the back of his neck, and when Zane looks over Lloyd has stars in his eyes.

"Really?" Cole flushes at the awe in Lloyd's voice, and nods his head in agreement.

"This café is pretty great; even though it's crowded they let you film. I come here to vlog sometimes."

"You can totally film today! Right, Zane?" Lloyd turns to his partner, who smiles fondly and nods his assent.

"Ah, really? Then do you mind if I film now? Can I show you guys in the footage?"

"Yes," Lloyd breathes, practically vibrating in his seat. Just as Cole moves to pick up his phone the waitress arrives, and Lloyd and Cole both let out a sigh.

"Glad your friends showed up," the young woman replied, setting three menus onto the table. "Can you figure out drink orders, or do you want me to come back in a minute?"

"Guys?" Cole asked, and Lloyd noticed how he hadn't even opened the menu.

"Ah, well," Zane began, and the waitress gave a soft hum.

"I'll come back in a moment; there's no rush." She gave a little wave before heading to another table.

"The milkshakes here are really good," Cole offered, and the other two men hummed.

"Cole," Zane began, and the other boy raised his head. "We will take the bill. Feel free to order whatever you would like."

"No way; I can't do that!" Cole had grown pale and gripped the table tightly.

"You can," Zane retorted gently. "We would like to do this for you. As thanks for considering us."

"It's selfish, really, having you move in. I can't pay the bills and need help. Going home isn't an option."

"Our reason for moving in with you is selfish, too." Lloyd chimes, closing the menu with a distinct snap. "Let us do this for you, okay? If you want to do something in return you can teach me how you got your wings so sharp." Cole hesitates, staring at the wooden table-top for a few moments.

"Alright," he relents finally, and Lloyd lets out a cheer. Cole gives a weak smile in return, and the waitress decides this is the most opportune moment to return.

"Ready kiddos?" She asks, and Zane can't help but furrow his brow. The waitress looks about as old as they are, if not younger. Cole smiles at her finally, seeming to finally relax. "I'll take the usual, yeah?"

"Whipped cream and no cherry. We have some extra strawberries-I'm sure I could pull a few strings and use them to replace the cherry."

"Could you?" Cole brightens immediately, and Zane stifles a chuckle.

"I'll have..." Lloyd hums cutely, "the lemonade shake."

"Sounds good! Whipped cream and a cherry?"

"Yes, please," Zane can't help but feel the waitress's kiddo remark was fitting with how childish Lloyd sounded. But his boyfriend was happy, and Zane felt his heart melt at the sight.

"And for you?"

"An iced tea, please. Unsweetened if possible." The waitress flashes him a grin as she writes everything down on her notepad.

"Sure thing. I'll bring those out in a minute, alright? Sit tight and behave yourselves." Cole laughs, another full body one, and Zane feels Lloyd searching for his hand underneath the table.

"That was Denise," Cole begins, tapping his fingers against the table. "She's goes to the college around here as a modeling student. We've done a couple photoshoots together."

"You model too?" Lloyd asks, and Cole blinks in surprise.

"Me? Nah, I'm not made for that sort of thing. I just took some pictures."

"You're in front of a camera a lot, aren't you? I bet you could model if you really wanted to." Lloyd said with an air of finality, and Cole shook his head.

"Kai mentioned you had a YouTube channel," Zane began conversationally, and Cole seemed to go pale all over again.

"Did he now?"

"Yes; I watched a few of your videos. You are quite talented, Cole."

"What did watch?" Cole's voice seemed strained, and Zane furrowed his brows.

"A few of the story-time videos. I was curious about you. If you would prefer I not watch anymore I would understand." Lloyd squeezes his hand gently, and all the tension leaves Cole's shoulders in a sigh.

"No, no. It's quite alright. I don't mind you watching. Some of my videos are just a bit, ah...unusual." Just before Zane can ask what is unusual about them Denise returns with their drinks.

"Alright, here we are. Strawberry for Cole, iced tea for blonde on the right, and lemonade for blonde on the left. Are you guys going to want something to eat, too? Or should I come back?"

"Come back," Cole states just as Lloyd says, "Food sounds good." The two exchange a look while Denise laughs.

"If you could come back in a few moments that would be greatly appreciated," Zane stated, and Denise nods before sauntering off.

"Sorry," Cole begins, rubbing at the back of his neck shyly. "I just...don't eat a lot in the mornings. If you want to eat that's fine, but I probably won't get anything."

"Are you sure?" Lloyd ask, swirling his straw around his milkshake. "You totally can, if you'd like."

"I'm good," Cole assures before glancing at his phone. "Can I...I can still film, right?"

"Yes!" Zane chuckles at his boyfriend's eager response, and Cole grins back at them.

"Alright, well, let's get started then." Cole shifts, grabbing his phone and fiddling with it for a moment before he began. "Hey guys! So, I'm going on some adventures today and I thought I'd bring you along. I'm sure if you've seen any of my vlogs before you know where we are, but there's a bit of a surprise today. I have some guests! Say hi, guys!" Cole shifts his phone so the camera faces the other two boys. Lloyd waves, and Zane offers a smile. "We met up for lunch! Or, breakfast I guess. You guys are going to kill me when you see what I ordered." Cole focus his phone on his milkshake. "Crazy, right? I was old told not to eat ice cream for breakfast, but here we are. Perks of living on your own." Cole laughs at that, turning his camera back to himself. "Although, I guess if this meeting goes well I won't be living by myself anymore, huh?"

"Right," Lloyd chimed, and Zane hummed his assent. He couldn't help but feel in awe of how at ease Cole seemed. The other man was completely in his element, and a quick glance at his partner revealed that Lloyd was just as taken as he was. Zane nursed his ice tea as the other boy continued to talk, and in the minutes he spoke Zane learnt more about the other man then he probably would have if they had had to instigate the conversation. "I know you guys are going to tease me for getting the same thing every time but I swear it's the best thing I've ever had. Do you think they would sponsor me? Zane, do you think I could convince them to sponsor me?"

"Perhaps," he replies, and Lloyd laughs.

"Alright, well, I'll talk to you guys in a little bit. See you!" Cole waves into his phone camera before stopping the recording. "Thanks for letting me do that, guys. I just...I really love filming."

"Do you have a spot for filming in your apartment?" Zane asked politely.

"I film in my bedroom, mostly. There used to be a neighbor who was really loud, so I would film in one of the spare closets." Despite Cole's nonchalant tone his eyes were shining. "My neighbor-well, she lives on the same floor as me-she and her boyfriend got me this really nice mic for Christmas. And her cat comes over a lot-she's really sweet. Her name's Google, and she's a Siamese cat!" Cole was talking rapidly now, smile wide and his hands had begun moving as he spoke. "Cats are really cool. I thought about getting one, so the apartment wouldn't be lonely, but I couldn't afford one. So I'm really glad that she lets her cat come over. Are either of you allergic to cats? Ah, fuck, I'm rambling, aren't I? Sorry, I just, I'm just so fucking excited and..." Cole trailed off, staring at his hands.

"Cole," Lloyd began, and Zane feels his heart swell with pride when Lloyd reaches across the table and takes Cole's hands in his. "I want to meet this cat, and your neighbor, and see your film space. I want us to go to Walmart at three in the morning for groceries just because we can; I want to stay up until we regret it in the mornings, high on caffeine and talking about weird conspiracy theories." Lloyd pauses there, and Zane quickly picks up where he left off.

"I, too, want to get to know you better. You seem passionate about your videos, and if I can do anything to help create a place where you can film and be happy then I want to do so."

"Why?" Cole choked, looking between the two. Zane knew what Lloyd wanted to say, could see the words on his lips before he even registered it himself. Because I love you, that's why, Lloyd wanted to say, but Zane would be damned if he let his partner say those words and get hurt again. Not after last time.

"Because why not?" Lloyd retorted, and Zane's heart swelled with pride when his partner playfully added, "So, when can we mov...

...

Cole sighed, feeling emotionally exhausted. They had parted ways soon after, with a promise to meet up again some other time to discuss the finer details of their moving process. As they had left he café Lloyd looked like he wanted to say something, and he had started to several times, but the words died on his lips and the blonde would look at his boyfriend for help. Zane ended up carrying most of the conversation as a result, and during the walk home Cole couldn't help but feel like it was all his fault.

I went and got attached-I barely even know them! God, you're such a fucking idiot, Cole.

As he entered his apartment building he considered going to Pixel's, because he didn't want to be in his own. Especially since he would have to edit the footage, and film some more. The weight of his encounter hung heavy on his shoulders, and he wanted nothing more than to sleep. But sleeping meant dreaming, and he wasn't quite ready for that, either. At least, not alone. So, he trudged up the steps to the second floor and went to Pixel's apartment. He only had to knock once before it opened, and Cryptor was smiling at him. "How'd it go, champ?"

"Later," he replied, and Cryptor reached out to press the back of his hand against Cole's forehead.

"You're warm. Come on-do you want to take a nap?"

"That sounds great," Cole murmured, and Crytpor placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Easy, champ, come on. Slip your shoes off, will you? Pix just vacuumed." Cole nodded, and Cryptor kept a steady hold on him as he shucked his shoes off. Cryptor murmured soft encouragements as he led Cole to the couch as if it was his first time being in the apartment. "I'll get you a blanket. Do you want some makeup remover too?"

"Please," Cole muttered, and Cryptor ruffled his hair before disappearing into the apartment. He faintly hears Cryptor talking to Pixel, and he takes this time to look around the apartment. It hadn't changed much since the time he had last been here-a few more photographs on the wall, Pixel's desk surprisingly organized in the far left corner; a cactus sat on the windowsill, and he heard some shifting behind him. Turning carefully, he smiled fondly when he saw Google climbing one of the cat trees he knew were around the house. The cat meowed happily, and he chirped back at her. "C'mere, champ."

"I can do it," Cole murmured, flushing when Crytpor tried to remove his makeup for him. The other man laughed, shaking his head as he grabbed Cole's chin with his free hand. Kneeling, Crytpor spoke softly to him as he rubbed the cloth over Cole's face, asking, "Did something happen? Did they hurt you? You look exhausted." The worry was a bit out of character for the other man, but Cole was grateful for it.

"It was just emotionally exhausting. I started rambling and...felt guilty for it. They still want to move in; I don't know why, though."

"They want to move in because you're creating a safe space for them. People want to be safe."

"You'll stay, won't you?" Cole asks suddenly. He feels emotionally vulnerable, and God, he doesn't want to be alone right now.

"'Course I will. Sit up for a second, will you?" Cole did as he was told, and Cryptor filled the spot he had vacated. "Alright, come 'ere." He adjusted so Cole's head was in his lap. Cryptor unceremoniously threw the blanket over him, and began threading one of his hands through Cole's hair. "Now sleep, champ. God knows you need it."

Cole shut his eyes and his mind began to wander. Cryptor and Pixel had always been there for him-he had moved into the apartments just after his eighteenth birthday, and the couple had almost four years on him. Cryptor had taken a liking to him immediately, and it was with him Cole first confided in his concerns about his mental health. The older man had taken it upon himself to ensure that Cole had a safe space, and both he and his girlfriend figured out what worked for helping Cole. When he asked why they did this Crytpor had joking replied, "Geography." It was later that Pixel revealed that Crytpor had bipolar disorder, and most of the methods he used for helping Cole were ones he used to help himself. As she had put it, "He worries you'll end up like he was when he was your age-so depressed that it converted into anger. He wants you to be happy, and he'll do whatever it takes to ensure that." The two of them knew his emotions better than he did himself, and he murmurs something that vaguely sounds like "I love you" into Cryptor's thigh.

"I know," Crytpor replies, "I know. Just sleep, champ. Sleep."

Cole squeezes his eyes shut and tries to forget the Lloyd's smile and the deep rumbling of Zane's laugh. God, Cole, you've really done it this time. Cole's breathing evens, and he finally falls into a restless sleep.

They hadn't talked since they gotten home. Lloyd had simply stated, "I'm going to take a shower," and left, not even bothering to take his shoes off. Zane could see steam coming from underneath the door and knew that Lloyd was trying to burn away the guilt and pain he felt by having the water as hot as it could go. It made his heart hurt, and he sat on the couch to patiently wait for Lloyd to return. It was nearly an hour, and when Lloyd settled next to him he wasn't warm like Zane thought he would be; Lloyd was frozen, as if he had turned the water as cold as possible before stepping out. He hasn't even dried off properly, he thought, Lloyd's hair stuck to his forehead and icy droplets cascading down his back. He had left to get a towel and his boyfriend barely looked up when he returned, knees drawn painfully close to his chest. Zane took his time, carefully toweling his boyfriend's hair and neck before taking his hands in his.

They stay like that for a while; Lloyd's hands trembling in his and Zane unsure of what to say so he says nothing. The blonde sniffles occasionally, and Zane considers going to get a blanket and a hot drink for him, but the moment he makes to stand Lloyd grips his hands so tightly his knuckles grow white. So he stays, kneeling in front of his boyfriend and pressing delicate kisses to his fingers, trying to take whatever was eating him inside himself; willing all of Lloyd's pain to rest on his shoulders.

"Zane," it's the first word spoken in hours, and Zane hums softly in his boyfriend's palm. "He...he was so happy. Did you seem him smile? I wanted to see him smile like that forever. Fuck, Zane. I've got it bad. I barely know him and I already want to spend forever with him." It was like the floodgates had opened, and once Lloyd started talking he couldn't stop. "Fuck, I've got you, and you're amazing and beautiful and I don't deserve you but God, fuck, Zane. I want him. It's different from how I feel about you but just as good. I don't get it. One should be enough-one is enough for lots of people. And I don't love you any less-hell, I think I love you more every day-but I want him. I want to love him just as much as I love you. Zane," Lloyd chokes on the syllables, barely getting them out around his sobs.

"I understand," Zane murmurs this into his boyfriend's wrist. He does understand, for the most part. While he had never fallen for a partner as quickly as Lloyd had, he certainly felt something with Cole. Lloyd frees his hands from Zane's grip and cups the other boy's cheeks. "Kiss me," he whispers, and Zane leans up to oblige. It's messy, Lloyd's teeth nipping his bottom lip and their foreheads knocking together almost painfully. Zane's hands move to Lloyd's thighs and he grips so tightly he worries there might be bruises later. "Fuck, Zane," Lloyd pulls away just enough to get the words out. "Can you...Can you do the thing? Pretty please?"

"Of course," Zane murmurs, and Lloyd let's go of him long enough to stand. As soon as he's upright Lloyd's clinging to him again; arms wrapped tightly around his neck and legs struggling to wrap around his waist. Zane helps where he can, and when Lloyd's in a position where he can be carried Zane heads towards the bedroom.

I don't fully understand how he's feeling, but I am going to make him feel better. I have to.

...

Author's note: This chapter will be continued on AO3, where it will get a bit more...not safe for work. I appreciate all your support for this fic so far! I'll see some of you on AO3, loves!