Note: Same warning as last time: Anorexia and mentions of it. The same warnings are also for chapters 18, 19, and 20, just in case.

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October, 1974

That night, after I had taken the potion, I fell asleep immediately. When I woke up, I didn't feel any different but I didn't except instant results. So I met up with the girls and we accompanied each other to breakfast. Afterwards we went to our classes. All day I didn't notice any side effects, nor did I feel any different.

"Reesa?"

Knocking myself from my stupor, I turned to Lydia, who was walking beside me. "Yeah?"

"Well what do you think?" She asked.

"About what?"

On my other side, Marlene laughed and Lily looked at me with concern. "Are you okay, Cerisa? You seem distracted."

"I'm fine," I assured them just as we approached our next class: Transfiguration.

We got to our usual spots in the classroom and I noticed that all the Marauders were all ready there. Us girls paid them no attention while James gazed at Lily as she walked and Peter did the same with Lydia. Remus's eyes were on his book but Sirius seemed to be flirting with the girl sitting behind him. I rolled my eyes and took my seat.

When Professor McGonnagal appeared and class started, I began to take notes. But as I looked down at my notebook, my vision seemed blurry. I blinked and all was well again but then I started to feel very light headed. I pushed the feelins away and tried to pay attention to class but my stomach ached and I began to feel extremely hot and cold at the same time.

It was in the middle of class when I felt myself about to become very, verk sick. Beside me, Lydia gave me a worried glance and as I tried to force a smile. I felt something coming up my throat.

Without asking to be excused, I scrambled to my feet and rushed out of the room, one hand over my mouth and another over my stomach. I had just made it to the bathroom before I threw up in one of the toilets. My chest hurt and I got into a couching fit.

The room had gotten warmer and the room begun to spun. I collapsed on the cold floor and shivered despite feeling as though I was on fire.

I groaned in pain as my stomach flared with pain and my throat ached as I resumed my coughing. It was only when I threw up again that this sudden fever seemed to pass. However, my body was sore so I just lay on the ground, unmoving.

When I got back some of my strength, I cleaned myself up at the sink and gargled water to get rid of the taste in my mouth. I looked at my reflection and saw how pale I seemed. I shook my head in confusion, unsure of what was happening. But then I remembered.

I was certain it was that potion I took. Needing to know and not wanting to go back to class, I left the bathroom and made my way to the library. When I arrived, Tobster was nowhere in sight but his book pile was. I rumaged for the book that had the spell and opened it up, reading every word. But nowhere in it said there were such side effects—until I read what happened if the potion was brewed wrong.

I closed my eyes. "Stupid."

"Please don't touch my book."

I turned around to find Tobster, a pile of books so large in his hand it almost covered his thing, long face. He sat down at the desk and snatched the book away from me.

"I think I did the potion wrong," I told him.

"Not my problem," Tobster said, opening his notebook and scribbling something in it. "Bye."

Nostrils flaring, I glared at him before leaving the library, fists clenched at my sides. Halfway through my walk I decided to get my books back at the classroom. Before I did so, however, I found a mirror and made sure I didn't look pale before making my way to the classroom.

But before I reached it, Lydia was running towards me, my book bag over her shoulder.

"Cerisa! Are you okay?" Lydia asked, coming up beside me, handing me my satchel.

I nodded and gave her what I hoped was a convincing smile. "Yeah, I must've just ate something bad. Don't worry about it."

Lydia pressed her lils together, still looking very much concerned, but after a while she nodded. "All right, as long as you're okay now."

"I am," I replied. "But I think I'll see Madam Pomfrey at the end of the day just in case."

Lydia nodded and then we walked back to class. I really was going to go go Madam Pomfrey. I needed to get myself fixed. I needed to lose weight, sure, but I wasn't going to do this to myself.

And so we continued class, McGonnagal looking slightly concerned for me, and afterwards Marlene, Lily, Lydia, and I spent the day together. We took a walk around the grounds, talking about anything and everything. Lydia had asked why Severus wasn't joining us, but Lily just shook her head sadly. Apparently he was becoming more obsessed with the Dark Arts and didn't have time for her.

We talked about other things too. Marlene had some choice words about Sirius and his habit of flirting with every girl in school. I smiled at that. Marlene hated the Blacks and it was always so funny hearing her complain about them all the time.

But as the day went on and after we went to our last class of the day, I decided it was time to see Madam Pomfrey. So I said goodbye to the girls and then made my way to the infirmary, wondering how I was goonf to explain my reason for taking that potion. It was no doubt going to be embarrassing.

However, as I walked the corridor, I noticed Veronique walking towards me. When she saw me, she smiled and stopped walking.

"Hello, Cerisa," she said. "I heard about what happened in Transfiguration. Are you okay?"

I nodded, suspicious at th sincerity in her tone. "I am. Thanks for asking."

"It's a muggle method, of course," Veronique said. "But if it works."

I frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"Purging," Veronique replied, as though it was obvious. "Keep it up and then maybe Mother and Father will let you stay in Hogwarts."

"There are other ways to lose weight, Veronique, instead of hurting yourself," I said quietly, getting really annoyed.

"But none that'll work for you," Veronique told me, a mischievous smile on her face. "Are you really willing to risk Hogwarts and everthing you have here?"

I was at a loss for words and Veronique's smile widened as she walked away. When she was gone from sight, I glanced at the where the infirmary was. I told myself to go but my feet wouldn't move. I thought about my friends and the happiness I felt at Hogwarts and found myself walking away.

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Early November, 1974

"Cerisa? You okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be right out."

I sat on the cold bathroom floor, leaning against the wall hoping to cool myself. I was sweating all over and I felt incredibly weak. I had thrown up again after breakfast and when I had a snack because I was hungry, I had to race back to the bathroom. I didn't know how long I had been here but now Marlene was waiting for her turn and I knew I had to clean up my act.

Therefore, I shakily got to my feet and looked at my pale reflection in the mirror. I sprayed my face with water but I knew they was only one way to make myself look normal.

"Hey, Marlene? Can I use some of your makeup?"

"Really? You? Yeah, sure. Go ahead."

"Thanks," I said as I found her makeup bag.

I applied as much as needed to make my skin look it's normal color. And then I added lipstick and mascara so it looked like I actually used it. When I was done, I got out and Marlene scrambled in after me. I quickly got changed from my sweat-drenched clothes and then sat on the bed, letting out a shaky breath.

When Marlene emerged from the bathroom, I frowned at her. "What's on your face?"

"The quidditch match is today," Marlene replied. Gold and red streaks were painted on one cheek and yellow and black were painted on the other.

"You never go to quidditch matches," I reminded her.

"Didn't you hear? Lydia's brother made fhe Hufflepuff team and since Hufflepuff and Gryffindor are playing against each other today, I'm going to show support. You want to come?"

I thought about. I was worried at might get sick again, but I figured that if I didn't anything I should be fine. Therefore, I nodded before grabbing my jacket. Marlene smiled and then we left the dorm, making our way to the quidditch field. As we walked, Marlene was clearly studying me.

"What?"

Marlene shook her head. "The makeup looks good. And did you lose weight?"

I forced a smile and nodded. "Do you really notice?"

"Yeah. You look good."

I smiled again but didn't feel as happy. When we arrived at the field we found Lily and Lydia and sat down with them. Peter was also there sitting beside Lydia. I looked around and saw Remus sitting beside Lily. They seemed to have a conversation. James and Sirius were nowhere to be seen.

Marlene and I sat down beside each other and soon the game started. It was then that I realized that Potter was on the Gryffindor team. I can't deny I was surprised.

"Hey, Lupin," Marlene said, leaning forward to glance at Remus. "Where's Black?"

Remus shrugged. "Probably in a broom closet with some girl."

Marlene laughed and leaned back in her seat. "Typical."

As the game went on, it was very clear that Lydia's brother, Johnny, was a really good player. I honestly wasn't surprised when Hufflepuff won, much to the vocal disappointment of all the Gryffindors. But Lydia sat up and clapped, meaning Peter did as well. Meanwhile I looked at the field and found James, who look more than disappointed at having lost.

"What did I miss?"

I looked to the side to find Sirius sitting down beside Remus, his collar crooked and his head slightly disheveled.

"Try the whole game," I told him.

"Hufflepuff won," Remus said before returnin to his conversation with Lily.

"And it's your fault," I said jokingly. "You weren't here to support Jimmy. I mean look at his face!"

Beside me Marlene smiled but Lily laughed.

Lydia and Peter went off together while Lily, Marlene, and I made our way back to the dorms, completely ignoring James when he expressed his disappointment at us leaving so soon.

As we made our way back to the Gryffindor common room, we passed by a group of Gryffindor fifth-years. One of them looked at us as we walked and her eyes widened in surprise when she saw me.

"Makeup, Kaiser?"

"Yeah," I said. "I thought I would try it out."

"And you lost weight," another one of the girls said in surprise. "You look good."

The others nodded in agreement before walking off. Marlene and Lily smiled at me and I forced myself to share it. But as we entered the common room, I couldn't help but feel incredibly wrong. I couldn't help but feel like I wasn't myself.