Chapter 60: A Marvelous Life
The strong smell of salt and seaweed bombarded his nose as he opened his eyes and looked out at the moonlit ocean underneath a star-strewn sky. He was standing with Harry on a high ridge of dark rock, water foaming and churning below them.
He turned to look behind him at the cliff, black and faceless, surrounded by the sea and devoid of any greenery or life. He looked around at the forlorn scenery—feeling that staying here too long would be enough to traumatize anyone. No one in their right mind would come here unless they had good reason.
"What do you think?" he asked Harry curiously.
"They brought the kids from the orphanage here?" Harry asked skeptically.
"Not here, precisely," he answered as he held his wand up so that he could try and get a look of the entrance. "There is a village of sorts about halfway along the cliffs behind us. I believe the orphans were taken there for a little sea air and a view of the waves. No, I think it was only ever Tom Riddle and his youthful victims who visited this spot. No Muggle could reach this rock unless they were uncommonly good mountaineers, and boats cannot approach the cliffs, the waters around them are too dangerous. I imagine that Riddle climbed down; magic would have served better than ropes. And he brought two small children with him, probably for the pleasure of terrorizing them. I think the journey alone would have done it, don't you?"
He felt a great deal of sympathy and pity for the two children that Tom had damaged beyond all recovery. He was never able to find out what it was that he had done to them, but he had a bad idea that he might've Apparated himself and the two orphans to the cave where he tortured them. He felt chills go down his spine at the very thought.
He did his best to hide the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach as he told Harry that they had to go on a little farther. He made sure that Harry followed him to the very edge of the rock where the jagged ridges would be enough to serve as footholds for them to move as close as they could get. They moved slowly and carefully, taking about ten minutes in total to get as close as they could—with him silently cursing his useless hand—before they reached the water's edge.
Ignoring the water spray on his face, he lit his wand and looked dangerously over the brink. He could see the light sparkle on the water's surface and when he looked a little wider, he could just make out the fissure in the side of the cliff. He smiled.
"You will not object to getting a little wet?" he asked Harry causally.
"No," said Harry.
"Then take off your Invisibility Cloak — there is no need for it now — and let us take the plunge," he told him, and with a grace he hadn't used in years, he slid from the rock. Clutching his wand between his teeth, he swam towards the dark outface. He heard Harry jumping into the water behind him as he made his way closer to the cliff.
After fitting through it, it led to a long dark tunnel whose walls were coated with years of slime. Finally, they reached a small passageway on the left, being careful to avoid the sharp rocks, his feet eventually kicked to a stone that served as stairs. Glad to get out of the chilly water, he stepped up as the water poured out of his soaked clothes. But he ignored the shivering as he went over to examine the wall.
Holding his wand high, he looked around, trying to sense something. "Yes, this is the place," he said softly, not realizing he spoke out loud.
"How can you tell?" Harry whispered behind him as he heard him come out of the water.
"It has known magic," he answered simply. "This is merely the antechamber, the entrance hall. We need to penetrate the inner place… Now it is Lord Voldemort's obstacles that stand in our way, rather than those nature made…"
He put everything else out of his mind as he began to touch as much as the rock he could, chanting revealing spells and incantations to get something to show. It must've taken five minutes as he walked around the cave, trying to sense the entrance…
Finally, on a particular smooth part of the rock, he found it.
"Here," he said to Harry certainly. "We go on through here. The entrance is concealed."
He stood back and used his wand to try and force the entrance open. And for the briefest moment, there was light shining, revealing the outline of the door.
"You've d-done it!" Harry stuttered, sounding close to freezing, but before he could even finish speaking however, the light had faded. Albus looked back at him and realized that Harry was also dripping wet and looked half frozen.
"Harry, I'm so sorry, I forgot," he said; he now pointed his wand at him to dry out his clothes. He had then turned back to the wall as Harry gave him a thank you. But he was now focusing all his attention on the wall, trying to think like Tom would… how to open the door.
Perhaps he had known about it from the start… but it was what must be done. After a few minutes he sighed to himself, now deeply disappointed that Tom was still as predictable as ever… "Oh, surely not. So crude."
"What is it, Professor?" Harry asked behind him.
"I rather think," he said, absent-mindedly reaching into his pocket to pull out a knife, something that he had a feeling would be useful… "That we are required to make payment to pass."
Blood… That certainly is crude and very pure-blood-like. Most of the bonds and bindings have to be attested using Blood Quills or drops of blood. To people like them, blood means everything.
"Payment?" Harry asked, not understanding it. "You've got to give the door something?"
"Yes," he nodded dully. "Blood, if I am not much mistaken."
"Blood?" Harry repeated incredulously.
"I said it was crude," Albus said shaking his head, unable to hide the disappointment here. Really Tom, was this the best that you could come up with? "The idea, as I am sure you will have gathered, is that your enemy must weaken him- or herself to enter. Once again, Lord Voldemort fails to grasp that there are much more terrible things than physical injury."
But he was also a little uneasy. A bit of blood doesn't really cause much of a physical injury. What exactly was Voldemort trying to do?
"Yeah, but still, if you can avoid it…?" Harry said, sounding distained at the idea.
But he was already shaking back his sleeve of his injured arm. "Sometimes, however, it is unavoidable," he said calmly. As soon as Harry realized what he was about to do, he stepped over, offering to do it himself. But Albus just smiled back at him before he could finish.
It was alright. He wouldn't be around for much longer and he might as well make himself useful with what little time he had left. Besides, Harry shed enough of his blood…
He left a deep cut in his own arm and made sure that the rock was splattered with it before he healed the wound. "You are very kind, Harry," he told him, "But your blood is worth more than mine. Ah, that seems to have done the trick, doesn't it?"
He was right. For at that moment, the doorway appeared again. The bloody rock vanished so that there was an opening wide enough for them to step through. Beyond however was pitch black. Making sure that Harry stayed close behind him, he stepped through…
They were standing in a large cavern with the ceiling so high that he couldn't see it, and on the edge of a large black lake—so wide that he couldn't make out the distant banks. Even as Harry pulled out his wand and lit it, it was still too dark to see. But what caught his attention the most was the eerie, misty greenish light shone far away in what looked like the middle of the lake; it was reflected in the completely still water below.
Magically induced darkness… Tom truly did something sinister here.
Frowning he told Harry to stay very close and not to step into the water no matter what. They walked along the bank, their footsteps the only sounds in the whole place as he tried to sense for something.
After several minutes Harry finally spoke. "Professor? Do you think the Horcrux is here?"
"Oh yes," he answered with certainly. He knew that the Horcux was surely to be where that light was coming from and Tom was sure to have discovered some way to get to it as well should he have reason to. "Yes, I'm sure it is. The question is, how do we get to it?"
"We couldn't… we couldn't just try a Summoning Charm?" Harry offered, his tone clearly admitting that he was willing to do almost anything to get out of this place as soon as possible.
Not that Albus blamed him for that. But that idea wasn't bad at all and he stopped dead so that Harry almost walked into him. He looked back and offered for him to do it. Harry looked startled at that, but he did as he asked…
Gripping his wand extra tightly in case something happened, with a loud booming noise, something burst from the water just twenty feet away before it crashed back into the water and Harry jumped back in shock.
"What was that?" he gasped out in disbelief.
"Something, I think, that is ready to respond should we attempt to seize the Horcrux," Albus answered, having a very bad feeling to what was in there. Almost at once the water was smooth as glass and Harry asked if he knew that something like this would happen. "I thought something would happen if we made an obvious attempt to get our hands on the Horcrux," he admitted, "That was a very good idea, Harry; much the simplest way of finding out what we are facing."
But knowing what it is, will be beneficial. At the least they'll be able to come up with some kind of counter-attack ready; especially Harry.
"But we don't know what the thing was," Harry told him at once, trying to control his breathing.
Oh, Albus had a bad feeling that there was much more than one. "What the things are, you mean," he said softly. "I doubt very much that there is only one of them. Shall we walk on?"
They walked on for a few more minutes before Harry asked him if they would be forced to go into the lake, to which he replied that would only happen if they were very unfortunate.
"You don't think the Horcrux is at the bottom?" he asked him in surprise.
"Oh no…" he answered calmly as he pointed to the center of the lake where the light was coming from. "I think the Horcrux is in the middle."
Harry followed his gaze to look at the misty green light before he looked back and asked, "So we're going to have to cross the lake to get to it?"
"Yes, I think so," he answered as they set off again, but almost at once, he stopped when he felt something here.
"Aha!" he called and stopped. But Harry ended up really walking into him, and dangerously came close to falling into the water. Albus quickly grabbed him and pulled him back to safety as he gave him an apology before he turned his attention back to the spot that he felt it. Something was here, he could tell…
He reached up and tried running his hand through the air, trying to find it…
But he smiled brightly when he found it. He could sense the Concealment Charm around here and it paid off as he taped his wand on the chain he just found. The thick, coppery green chain appeared for them both to see and soon he was able to spot the green boat breaking through the surface and floated towards them.
"How did you know that was there?" Harry asked in astonishment.
"Magic always leaves traces, sometimes very distinctive traces," he answered. There was a Concealment Charm, a Disillusionment Charm… and several others. Though basic, there was a lot of power put into them so that most never would've noticed them. But he had one advantage to them…
"I taught Tom Riddle. I know his style."
"Is… is this boat safe?" Harry asked nervously, glancing over the tiny thing.
"Oh yes, I think so," Albus answered him, "Voldemort needed to create a means to cross the lake without attracting the wrath of those creatures he had placed within it in case he ever wanted to visit or remove his Horcrux."
"So the things in the water won't do anything to us if we cross in Voldemort's boat?" Harry asked, now looking very nervous as he glanced around at the water.
"I think we must resign ourselves to the fact that they will, at some point, realize we are not Lord Voldemort," he answered without looking at him, "Thus far, however, we have done well. They have allowed us to raise the boat."
"But why have they let us?" he asked hurriedly and he explained that Voldemort would've been confident enough to know that none but a powerful wizard could've found the boat and that he would've been prepared to risk the chance that someone would find it. But he must've have some other trap in store for him… they would soon find out.
"It doesn't look like it was built for two people," he pointed out, "Will it hold both of us? Will we be too heavy together?"
Albus doubted that weight would've been a problem. He chuckled softly to himself as he informed Harry that there was a good chance that a spell had been placed here so that only one wizard could cross at a time.
"But then —?" Harry began at once worriedly but Albus cut him off.
"I do not think you will count, Harry," he said, "You are underage and un-qualified. Voldemort would never have expected a sixteen-year-old to reach this place: I think it unlikely that your powers will register compared to mine."
He suddenly realized what he said and knew that those words wouldn't have been what Harry wanted to hear right now, especially from him.
"Voldemort's mistake, Harry, Voldemort's mistake…" he added, and here he spoke from experience, "Age is foolish and forgetful when it underestimates youth. Now, you first this time, and be careful not to touch the water."
He stood back and watched as Harry carefully climbed into the boat and then joined him before the ship set out at once, clearly knowing the way to the mist.
He kept his eyes pierced on the pathway in front of them—having a very good idea to what it was that was beneath the water. And apparently, Harry found out the hard way as he called loudly in a startled voice, "Professor!"
"Harry?" he asked.
"I think I saw a hand in the water — a human hand!" he gasped, sounding close to choking.
"Yes, I am sure you did," he answered calmly, letting him know silently that they were safe for now. But Harry was still staring down into the water as he gasped out, "So that thing that jumped out of the water —?"
But he got his answer at once when they passed by a large patch of water were they could see the form of a dead man lying face up inches beneath the surface, his open eyes misted as though with cobwebs, his hair and his robes swirling around him like smoke. "There are bodies in here!" Harry cried out, his voice sounding higher than he ever heard from him before, sounding close to hysterical.
Albus supposed that he was freaked out by this. "Yes," he answered mildly, "but we do not need to worry about them at the moment."
"At the moment?" Harry repeated loudly, staring back at him.
"Not while they are merely drifting peacefully below us," he told him softly. "There is nothing to be feared from a body, Harry, any more than there is anything to be feared from the darkness. Lord Voldemort, who of course secretly fears both, disagrees. But once again, he reveals his own lack of wisdom. It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more."
He was surprised that Harry didn't say anything at first as he tried to master his breathing. And when he next spoke, he was pleasantly surprised to hear that his voice sounded much calmer and level-headed than before. "But one of them jumped. When I tried to Summon the Horcrux, a body leapt out of the lake."
He nodded back to him, letting him know that he was aware that once they take the Horcrux, they will be less peaceful. But also added that they needed light and warmth to drive them away. When Harry continued to look baffled, he smiled and clarified that he was talking about fire.
"Oh… right…" said Harry quickly. Neither of them said anything more as they continued sailing towards the Horcrux. He knew that Harry was scared here, given the way that he was shaking slightly next to him. Albus looked at him through the corner of his eyes sadly.
For some reason, he was almost overwhelmed with the desire to tell him that he was going to die very soon. But he couldn't…
He wasn't sure it was because he didn't want to scare him anymore than he already was… or because he, himself, was too cowardly to tell him. Instead, he put as much cheerfulness he could put into his voice, "Nearly there!"
And there… in just minutes they bumped right into a small island in the middle of the lake—just about the size of his own office, and he suddenly felt a strong pang of homesickness. He had Harry climb out first, after warning him not to touch the water, before he quickly followed and looked around cautiously.
There it was… a faint light was coming from a large stone basin on a pedestal in the very center of the island. That had to be where it was. Albus went forward with Harry close behind him before they approached the basin… they looked into it together to see that it was full of emerald liquid that glowed threateningly in this piercing darkness.
"What is it?" asked Harry quietly.
But Albus wasn't any surer than Harry was here. "I am not sure. Something more worrisome than blood and bodies, however," he said almost absent-mindedly. He pushed his sleeve over his dead hand and cautiously stretched out his fingers to touch it before he got even some kind of answer.
Harry tried to tell him not to touch it, but he gave him a faint smile as he explained that he couldn't. Harry looked puzzled but he carefully attempted to touch it as well. He saw his eyes widen when he realized that he couldn't go any closer to the surface—as if there was some kind of wall between them.
"Out of the way, please, Harry," he said as he stepped forward and raised his wand. He tried everything he could think of. Vanishing it, parting, scooping, siphoned, Transfigured, Charmed… but nothing.
Albus was starting to grow frustrated here as he stopped, thinking like how Tom would think and came to what had to be the answer. Once he withdrew his wand, Harry asked if he thought that the Horcrux was in there. Oh, there was no doubt as he told Harry as much before he conjured up a crystal goblet and picked it up.
"I can only conclude that this potion is supposed to be drunk," he said and Harry reaction was predictable.
"What?!" he yelled out. "NO!"
"Yes, I think so," he told him firmly, "Only by drinking it can I empty the basin and see what lies in its depths."
"But what if—what if it kills you?" Harry asked him at once.
"Oh, I doubt that it would work like that," he told him calmly. "Lord Voldemort would not want to kill the person who reached this island."
Maybe he should've worded that better, for Harry was staring at him as if he thought that he lost his mind. He then spoke in a voice that was at least halfway respectable, "Sir… sir, this is Voldemort we're —"
"I'm sorry, Harry;" he corrected. "I should have said, he would not want to immediately kill the person who reached this island. He would want to keep them alive long enough to find out how they managed to penetrate so far through his defenses and, most importantly of all, why they were so intent upon emptying the basin. Do not forget that Lord Voldemort believes that he alone knows about his Horcruxes."
Harry didn't look the least bit convinced this time, looking ready to argue, but Albus held up his hand to him, silently telling him to remain quiet as he thought it all through.
"Undoubtedly," he said, finally, "this potion must act in a way that will prevent me taking the Horcrux. It might paralyze me, cause me to forget what I am here for, create so much pain I am distracted, or render me incapable in some other way. This being the case, Harry, it will be your job to make sure I keep drinking, even if you have to tip the potion into my protesting mouth. You understand?"
He knew that he was being cruel… but he needed someone here to keep his mind on the matter at hand. The last time he tried to do it alone, it had cost him greatly…
This needed to be done. He knew Harry would resent what he would surely had to do for perhaps the rest of his life. But someone had to ensure that he drunk the entire thing… and he had to be the one to do it. Though he felt truly sick with himself here for even thinking such a thing… this was an astoundingly huge task to ask—especially since he had already suffered unspeakable horrors—he didn't need another one. But…
Their eyes met over the basin, each pale face lit with that strange, green light. Albus knew that he couldn't do this alone anymore.
"You remember," he reminded him softly, "the condition on which I brought you with me?"
The green that was reflected in Harry's own green eyes seemed to make them glow as he asked, "But what if—?"
"You swore, did you not, to follow any command I gave you?" he went on before he could finish.
"Yes, but—"
"I warned you, did I not, that there might be danger?" he also added.
"Yes," Harry gasped, and he was suddenly reminded of the Hearing almost two years ago when Fudge kept asking question after question before Harry could finish answering, "but —"
"Well, then," he finished, as if that settled the matter as he shook his sleeves back and raised the empty goblet. "You have my orders."
"Why can't I drink the potion instead?" asked Harry desperately.
But Albus knew that he'd never be able to rest in peace if he let a student be harmed in his presence like that… at least not by choice.
"Because I am much older, much cleverer, and much less valuable," he said without looking at him, his eyes still on his hand. Because it makes sense… he's already knocking at death's door as they spoke. It was only fitting that he put his life on the line. He looked back to Harry and asked, "Once and for all, Harry, do I have your word that you will do all in your power to make me keep drinking?"
"Couldn't —?" Harry began.
"Do I have it?" he pressed on firmly.
"But—"
"Your word, Harry."
He seemed to be struggling within himself to do the right thing and he finally gasped out, "I—all right, but—"
That was enough for him. Before he could think of anything else to say, Albus lowered the goblet into the potion, and like he thought, the goblet was able to sink into the potion and filled it to the brim. Raising it up to his mouth, he looked to Harry's pale face and wide eyes as he said, "Your good health, Harry."
After taking one last look around him and clearing his mind, he closed his eyes and tilted his head back as he drank the liquid. It was worse than he had imagined.
It felt as if he was drinking boiling water, though it was tasteless it let a terrible burning pain in his mouth and all the way down this throat. In his mind's eye however, a familiar pair of blue eyes was looking at him underneath that mess of long, blonde hair…
"Professor?" he heard a voice say from somewhere close by as he felt his arm lower the goblet. "How do you feel?"
The burning pain continued to hurt, he wasn't sure if he could speak without crying out in pain, so instead he shook his head, not able to remember whose voice it was. But that wasn't the point here. He couldn't remember why it was suddenly so important, but he just knew that he had to keep drinking. So then, he felt his hand moving down and filling a second cup of the potion and drained it as well.
Ariana's face came clearly to mind, the room around them was also starting to become less foggy. He could hear other voices, but he couldn't make out who they were.
Instead he kept going… a third cup and he had almost finished the fourth when the image in his mind suddenly cleared completely and he knew where he was. He was so stunned, that he felt the cup starting to fall from his hands and he had to grab hold of something he couldn't see in front of him to keep him from falling.
Grindelwald was there, looking just has he did that horrible day that changed his life forever. As well as his little brother and sister—Grindelwald was standing over them, torturing them as they screamed in pain.
He tried to stop, to try and get this madness to end, but he felt his mouth being forced open and hands, other than his own, pouring more of the burning liquid into his mouth.
He could hear the voices around him, Grindelwald was laughing as his siblings screaming increased, and a voice in the far distance telling him to drink.
He could no longer feel anything but pain as his whole body felt as if was being smothered by smoke and the fire burned almost as terrible as the fire that took his hand. He couldn't think, couldn't remember, only the scene in front of him seemed to exist.
Ariana was sobbing on the floor, crying for help and he fell to his knees, shaking. It was his fault… all his fault…
He knew now what she truly wanted… he understood the pain of being alone, of thinking that no one else cares about you in this world. His sister… all she wanted was for someone to love her. He couldn't take it, he wanted it all to end… the pain inside him was nothing compared to seeing his sister and brother being tortured before his eyes, screaming at them to help him when he couldn't even move…
The whole time the images came faster and clearer than before—he was vaguely aware of hearing a voice in the distance, gently telling him that it would be alright, that whatever he was seeing wasn't real. What did that voice mean? How could any of this not be real? He was seeing it… feeling it all…
The burning pain was nothing compared to his mind being torn apart from seeing it all. He didn't know where he was anymore… but if he was alive, hell would be mercy over this. He began to scream, plead to die, that he didn't care anymore.
He tried to stand between them and Grindelwald, and he screamed out two words…
"KILL ME!"
"This- this one will!" gasped the voice, now sounding desperate—but Albus just couldn't tell who's voice it was anymore. "Just drink this… It'll be all over… all over!"
He couldn't help but trust this comforting voice and did what he was told before everything went dark and he faded into darkness. The burning had stopped and Ariana's dead blue eyes faded from his vision and he felt a sense of peace of falling into this warm night.
But he could hear desperate pleading, trying to wake him up. He didn't understand… wasn't he supposed to die? The voice was begging that he wake up, despite what it had promised before. Not sure why he did it, he turned back from the dark and he followed the voice back and his eyes opened. His vision so blurred and faded around him that he couldn't see… couldn't understand anything that was going on. But the voice was close at hand.
"Sir, are you-?"
"Water…?" he croaked out, desperate for a way to cool the fire that was burning him.
"Water…" the voice said at once and he felt the hand holding on to him leave. He was struggling for breath, the fire choking his insides and he wanted nothing more than to fade away right there. But then something cold hit his face and entered his mouth.
Water… cold and clear almost completely extinguished the fire. Suddenly he could move again, and was struggling to get up when he heard a yell of fear. His vision cleared as he looked up and saw Harry was there, being grabbed on all sides by pale, rotting hands… Inferi. An army of them had come out of the water, and each of them were pulling him back towards the dark water, attempting to drown him. It only took him a few seconds as his memory returned to him and he raised his wand high as he called the most powerful ring of fire that he could muster. The fire around them pushed them back at once, they dropped Harry and headed back to the cover of the darkness and cold. He gestured Harry to get back to the boat as he crawled back out of the water, shaking from head to foot. Trying hard not to pass out, Albus grabbed the Locket from the bottom of the basin.
Back in the boat, he kept the fire going, trying hard not to black out… keeping the fire up was taking all his power and concentration.
"Sir," Harry gasped next to him, "Sir, I forgot- about fire- they were coming at me and I panicked-"
For the first time, he sounded scared. Not that he blamed him for that. "Quite understandable," he was able to choke out, his voice very faint. Neither of them said anything else as they continued to sail across the lake. They reached the opposite shore with a little bump and Harry jumped out before he turned back to help him out.
As soon his he was free of the boat, he let the fire go out—no longer having the strength to keep it going anymore. To his relief, the Inferi stayed below the surface again. Leaning against the wall, he struggled for breath, the terrible burning in his chest back not as bad as before.
Images of what he had seen sent shame through him once again.
"I am weak…" he muttered, not sure if he was speaking to Harry or himself any longer.
"Don't worry, sir," Harry said, anxiously, "Don't worry, I'll get us back… Lean on me sir…"
He couldn't ever remember a time that he allowed himself to be so weak as to need the support of another just to help him to walk. He had always tried to go on his own, never to let anyone else see him weak… to never drag anyone down with him…
He had to fight the urge to laugh as he realized what was happening. Harry was bearing most of his weight as he guiding him back around the lake—like how one would when they had hurt their leg.
"The protection was… after all… very well-designed," he said in a hoarse voice, trying to give Harry a little insight about the potion. Though he was deeply afraid of what happened here—just what happened to him? Did he say anything? And if he did, what was it? He wanted to ask Harry what happened, but he couldn't bring himself to ask, shame washing through him at how easily he had falling prey here.
"One alone could not have done it…" he said instead, "One alone could not have survived. You did well - very well, Harry…"
"Don't talk now," he scolded, "Save your energy, sir… We'll soon be out of here…"
"The archway… would've sealed itself," he said, barely aware of what he was saying anymore, "My knife…?"
He just told him to be quiet again, letting him know that he had cut himself on the sharp rock. At that, he fell silent, knowing that he was wasting too much energy talking right now. It must've been truly terrible for him to do so… to keep giving him that terrible potion, even as he knew that he must've screamed that he wanted to die. But he shut his eyes with a little smile as they reached the wall and Harry brushed his bleeding arm on the wall so that it opened again. He knew now who's voice it had been that he heard…
He knew that he had been safe there the whole time.
Harry kept saying over and over again that it was going to be alright, like how a parent would to a child who had a bad nightmare.
"It's going to be alright, sir," Harry gasped as he helped him back into the frozen sea water, "We're nearly there… I can Apparate us both back… Don't worry."
Maybe the potion did something to his reasoning… but he felt his mouth speaking, no longer caring. He had already admitted he was weak, and this was the truth that he wanted him to know.
"I am not worried, Harry," he confessed, his voice a little stronger with the cold water helping to cool the burning, he smiled at him, "I am with you."
He let Harry lead them back so that they were under the clear, black sky once again, and he stared at them as if he'd never seen them before. Harry was able to pull him on top of the nearest rock. Soaking wet, Harry gripped his arm and stepped into a very shaky Apparation.
But it was enough to get them back to Hogsmeade. He tried to tell him how superb he did, but Harry didn't seem to be listening as he whispered that they did it, they got the Horcrux. He tried to smile but instead he staggered against him, his hand gripping his chest in terrible pain and Harry asked him anxiously if he was alright.
"I've been better," he admitted weakly, feeling the smile tugging at his mouth as he joked, "That potion… was no health drink…"
Just then his strength seemed to leave him and he sank to the ground. Harry reached over and grabbed hold of him to keep him from falling face-first onto the pavement. "Sir - It's OK, sir, you're going to be all right, don't worry -" he said at once as he looked around for an answer to what it was he was supposed to do. "We need to get you up to the school, sir… Madam Pomfrey…"
But Albus was shaking his head, croaking out that he needed to see Severus, but he couldn't walk very far in this condition. Harry nodded in understanding, looking around, trying to figure out what to do. But then, they heard running footsteps and when he looked up in time to see Madam Rosmerta, in her nightgown and slippers.
He sighed in relief when he saw her. "I saw you Apparate as I was pulling my bedroom curtains! Thank goodness, thank goodness, I couldn't think what to - but what's wrong with Albus?" she had run most of the way and stared at him with wide eyes, slightly glazed eyes.
"He's hurt," said Harry hurriedly, asking if she could help him get him to the Three Broomsticks as he went up to the school for help.
But Rosmerta looked stricken at the thought of him going up there and cried out, "You can't go up there alone! Don't you realize - haven't you seen -?"
Harry ignored her for a moment, but Albus didn't like the sound of it and asked her what was wrong. She pointed a shaking finger to the sky and croaked out, "The - the Dark Mark, Albus."
It was at that moment Albus felt the rush of fear and dread going through him when he looked. She was right… hanging up in the sky above the tallest tower was the infamous blazing green skull with a serpent tongue, the mark Death Eaters left behind whenever they had entered a building… where they…?
Struggling back to his feet, having to hold onto Harry to stand up, he asked her quickly when it appeared and she struggled, suggesting just minutes ago perhaps.
Albus somehow found energy he never knew he had, standing up he gasped that they had to get back there at once. He looked to Rosmerta and asked if she had any brooms that they could use to get up there.
"I've got a couple behind the bar," she said, looking very frightened. "Shall I run and fetch -?"
He shook his head, letting her know that Harry could do it. Just as he had done almost three years ago, he called two brooms to them, racing towards them. He mounted the one nearest him, gave Rosmerta some orders on what to do before he turned to Harry and told him to put his cloak on.
He supposed that he should've seen this coming. He knew that Draco had been working all year for a way to kill him, but to think that he could actually bring Death Eaters into the school…? He shook his head hard, trying to clear it as Harry joined him on the second broom and they took off from the ground. No longer feeling the blissful peace that he usually had when he flew… only fear and panic running through him.
Fighting hard to stay awake, he flew on, bent low over the broom and his long hair flying behind him. He began casting the counter spells, undoing the protection that he put up himself so that they could enter without any problems.
'Please… please, please, please… don't let anyone be dead,' he thought to himself. This was war, and he knew that people had to die, but these were his students! Children inside this castle, and he didn't want to imagine which of the other Death Eaters here.
They landed, and Albus was forced to lean against the ramparts to keep himself falling, the pain in his chest suddenly so terrible that he felt close to passing out. Everything spun around him as Harry landed next to him… it was deserted… and that was when he realized the horrible truth.
"What does it mean?" Harry asked suddenly. "Is it the real Mark? Has someone definitely been - Professor?"
But Albus was kicking himself once again for falling in such an obvious trap. Clutching his chest, he looked to Harry, and said weakly for him to bring Severus to him… not to speak to anyone else and not to remove his cloak.
Harry looked ready to argue, but he reminded him of his promise. He didn't know how much more time he had here… but he knew that he had reached the end of the line here. His old body just couldn't keep up any longer…
Gasping for breath, he knew that he had to at least get Harry out of here before it happened. He knew that he was going to die here, and the last thing he wanted was for Harry to see that. Hoping that Harry would obey this one order without any complaint, he reached his hand into his pocket as Harry hurried over to the door… but just then they heard running footsteps coming up. He knew that Harry was looking at him, and he nodded for him to move back.
'Forgive me… Harry…' Albus thought as he raised his wand and wordlessly immobilized him. Just then, he heard a familiar voice call out, "Expelliarmus!"
It had only taken him a brief moment to stop Harry, but it provided Draco with the necessary opportunity to disarm him and he felt his own sense of horror as the Elder Wand went spinning out of his hand.
But that wasn't important any longer…
"Good evening, Draco," he whispered, careful to stay calm as he spoke, not wishing to forewarn him—or Harry—of what he knew was going to come. Instead, he spoke to Draco, who informed him about how he had smuggled the Death Eaters into his school through the magic cabinet inside the Room of Requirements and it turned out that Rosmerta was under the Imperius Curse all this time.
His hands shaking, Draco called out, "Right under your nose and you never realized!"
"Well, then, you must get on and do it, my dear boy," he answered politely to him, straining to keep his voice even. After a stretched minute, during which Draco said and did nothing, he smiled gently, letting him know the hard truth, "Draco, Draco, you are not a killer."
"How do you know?" he demanded loudly, realizing that he sounded a little childish. It was then that he that he was right… his soul was still clean. He had been so pressured into joining the Death Eaters and threatened by Voldemort that he felt that he had no other choice and this was all he could do to protect his parents.
"You don't know what I'm capable of," Draco went on, and it was clear to him that he was trying to convince himself more than him, "you don't know what I've done."
"Oh, yes, I do," Albus answered and he told that he was aware of it all—fighting hard not to look into the corner that he knew Harry too be. But he was aware the whole time that in his feeble attempts to murder him, that he had almost ended up killing Katie and Ron. "…so feeble, to be honest," he whispered, slowly slipping even further down the wall, "that I wonder whether your heart has been really in it…"
Draco was getting angry once again, his hand shaking worse than ever as he tried to argue that he had been dedicated to his mission, but then they heard the sounds of the battle below them.
"Perhaps you ought to get on with the job alone," he said softly, hoping against hope that no one had been killed. "I have no wand at the moment… I cannot defend myself."
And yet, Draco was still frozen, insisting that he wasn't afraid that he should be the one begging for his life.
The pain inside him had reached a point that it was almost unbearable and he had to fight the scream that was building in his throat. Instead, he said as calmly as he could, "I don't think you will kill me, Draco. Killing is not nearly as easy as the innocent believe."
He continued to try and talk to Draco, to let him see that it wasn't too late, that he still had a choice here. He was trying to bid time… to wait for Severus to hurry and finish the job before Draco was forced to do so. He wouldn't let a young man ruin his soul because of him.
In a way to draw this out, he asked how he did it, and Draco seemed to cling to the question. He explained that he used the idea of the enchanted coins to communicate with Rosmerta, while controlling her with the Imperius Curse. He had gotten the idea from 'Dumbledore's Army' last year. He listened with great interest, even as he was slowly falling to the ground, unable to stay upright anymore. Draco mentioned the poisoned mead, an initiative he said he had got from "the Mudblood Granger".
"Please do not use that offensive word in front of me," he said firmly and here, Draco actually laughed wildly.
"You care about me saying 'Mudblood' when I'm about to kill you?" he demanded.
Albus couldn't bring himself to be too angry with him. This was just how young Draco was raised… he was brought up hating… and that was just the most tragic in his part. Struggling to stay up and fighting off the pain, he said, "But as for being about to kill me, Draco, you have had several long minutes now. We are quite alone. I am more defenseless than you can have dreamed of finding me, and still you have not acted…"
He then asked, trying to continue to get him into talking more. He confirmed some of his fears by telling him that somebody was killed. Fighting hard against the waves of emotion welling up inside him, he continued to try and discuss the options that he still had left.
"My options!" Draco yelled out, sounding furious as he then began to rant, almost fearfully, "I'm standing here with a wand – I'm about to kill you –"
"My dear boy, let us have no more pretense about that," he interrupted him gently, determined to show him that he still had a choice, that he truly didn't have to do this. "If you were going to kill me, you would have done it when you first Disarmed me, you would not have stopped for this pleasant chat about ways and means."
"I haven't got any options!" Draco finally yelled out, losing all previous cool that he had tried to put up. He admitted that he was stuck and that there was no other way out for him but to do this. "I've got to do it! He'll kill me! He'll kill my whole family!"
"I appreciate the difficulty of your situation," he answered softly, his heart truly going out to him. "I knew that you would have been murdered if Lord Voldemort realized that I suspected you," he confessed as Draco flinched at hearing his master's name. "I can help you, Draco."
"No, you can't!" Draco yelled, his whole body trembling as if he was cold, "Nobody can. He told me to do it or he'll kill me. I've got no choice."
It was a relief to hear… Draco came out and told him that he truly didn't want to do this. But his desire to save his family overwhelmed everything else until this moment. Albus knew better than anyone that the world wasn't split into Saints and Devils… sometimes good people did bad things… and even sometimes bad people do good things… but most of the time, he learned that good people did bad things for good reasons.
And so Albus told him that he would help him… if he wanted it. "Come over to the right side, Draco, and we can hide you more completely than you can possibly imagine. What is more, I can send members of the Order to your mother tonight to hide her likewise. Your father is safe at the moment in Azkaban…. when the time comes we can protect him too… come over to the right side, Draco… you are not a killer…"
Draco glared at him, his eyes narrowed as he asked slowly, trying to buy himself a little more time to think of an answer to this tempting offer, "But I got this far, didn't I? They thought I'd die in the attempt, but I'm here… and you're in my power… I'm the one with the wand… you're at my mercy."
Albus held his head high and told him the hard truth. "No, Draco, it is my mercy, and not yours, that matters now."
Draco only continued to look at him fearfully before, at long last, he lowered his wand. But at that moment, they heard more footsteps behind them and soon they were joined by several other Death Eaters. The siblings Amycus, Alecto he recognized at once—but his vision was going and he was having a hard time trying to see the two behind them.
When they began to praise Draco for disarming him, he acknowledged them as politely as he could, "Good evening, Amycus. And you've brought Alecto too… charming…"
Alecto laughed. "Think your little jokes'll help you on your death bed, then?"
"Jokes? No, no, these are manners," he answered, something that they never seemed to have learned. Just then, he recognized one of the other Death Eaters and he had to bite back a groan. Greyback was there, blood dripping from his face as he urged Draco to hurry up and kill him.
He began a slight talk with him, still hoping that Severus would show up soon. He tried to hide some of his disgust to hear that Fenrir had developed a taste for humans that couldn't be satisfied once a month and the werewolf began to brag about it. "Shocks you, that, does it?" he grinned, "Frightens you?"
Still forcing calm, he said, "Well, I cannot pretend it does not disgust me a little."
The talking was soon wearing thin on them all, the other Death Eaters were now prompting Draco to hurry up and do it… to kill him so that they could leave. Draco was still frozen where he stood, looking at him as if asking for help now. The other Death Eaters didn't seem to understand what the problem was… and they were now starting to argue among themselves on who will be the one to kill him. He was growing nervous, for a moment thinking that he would be tortured to death before Severus even arrived, or worse, they would force Draco to do so. But to his relief, just a few minutes later, Severus finally arrived, looking around at them all.
"We've got a problem, Snape," Amycus said at once, pointing to Draco, who continued to just stand there. Severus didn't move for a moment before he slowly walked to the head of the group, looking only at me. His wand was clutched tightly in his hand, staring down at him… he could see the hesitation, the self-hatred in Severus's eyes…
"Severus…" he croaked out, vaguely aware that he was now begging. He had to do this. If he failed to do this, not only would he be killed by the other Death Eaters, but they would lose their one and only spy on Voldemort's side… as well as Draco paying the ultimate price for his failure.
Besides…
His eyes once more glanced to the corner where Harry was once again. He shut his eyes for the briefest of moments. 'Don't worry, Harry…' he thought, 'the potion won't be what kills me.'
"Severus… please…" he pleaded, hoping for it to end quickly for both of them. Severus slowly raised the wand, looking directly at him, and it seemed to take all the courage he had to do so. As he did so, he thought back to Harry once again. He felt sick with himself for forcing him to watch this, knowing that he wouldn't be able to help him any longer.
One would think they had done this to plan for death under the assumption that there is no worse end to one's life… but living in a world with guilt and regret weighing you down was much worse. In a way, they were doing him the greatest favor by finally setting him free. He was dying… and he wasn't ashamed to admit it.
He remembered the day that he first met young Tom… thinking about it now, he could see that Hogwarts had created a monster by allowing him to come. A young and brilliant mind… yet one so dark that it could never hope to have a long and happy life that we all deserve.
Harry…
This young man is strong enough to finish it all… what he should never had let happen in the first place. He felt a terrible agony go through him as he thought of the weight that he would have to bear alone.
He once said to Harry himself that he cared about him too much. That he cared more for his happiness than him knowing the truth; more for his peace of mind than his plan, more for his life than the lives that would be lost if the plan failed. And he meant those words… he acted exactly as any fool who cared about someone would act.
Many parents likewise dream that their children will succeed where they have failed. They hope the lessons they learned will permit their children to move forward. And for him, that was his greatest wish here… he wanted Harry to learn from his own mistakes and surpass them. Right now his greatest fear was that Harry would walk along the same road that he once did and make the same errors.
"Avada Kedavra!"
A split second before the curse hit him, he smiled at Severus… and then he felt it collide with his chest, sending him flying backwards and over the ramparts. As he hung suspended in mid-air, for a split instant he could see through Harry's cloak and see his own eyes wide with horror.
Almost at once darkness overcame his eyes as he could feel everything around him becoming numb, the pain vanishing almost at once. He had felt old in that tower… far older than he ever felt in his life, and yet now he felt completely empty at this moment. They say that your life flashes before your eyes before you die and that was true. He thought back to his years here, both as a student, and as a teacher. The long and happy years that this castle had been his home…
Over the years he had made many friends, Muggle and Wizard both, he had done his best to pass on what he knew to the next generation… he had seen and done so much… he suddenly felt so tired… he had grown weary of life.
He had a lot of regrets and disappointments… things that he had done that were far too late to ever change. He once said to an innocent young boy that 'To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.'
And he meant it. He was relieved to finally leave behind the pains of life… he was tired of life, he was ready to finally rest before starting that next adventure… yet, why did he feel as if he took the easy way out?
He remembered once wishing for someone else to relieve him of all responsibility. To have been free to do what he wanted… and now Harry was going to have to make the choice. People have said it to him for a long time now… that they were startled at the resemblance between him and Harry. That's what he was so afraid of… because he knew that it was true. Harry was so like, yet unlike him, that it was frightening. He had met so many people in his life, but none of them had ever confused him as much as the young man who he was now leaving behind.
Just like his little sister…
Was it possible that the remarkable resemblance between Harry and Ariana was what made him grow to be so protective of him over the years? That by protecting him he could somehow feel like he was making it up to Ariana for his selfishness? He just didn't know anymore… but he trusted him.
He remembered when they were leaving the cave and he couldn't even walk anymore. He was forced to lean on Harry, and he felt the strength and determination rising from him to get them both out of that mess alive. For the first time, he wasn't doing the protecting, but was allowing someone else to protect him… in that moment he realized that he fully trusted Harry with his life…
It seemed to have taken an age to fall…
He was over the edge and he could see the whole scene in front of him. Severus's face full of self-loathing at what he was forced to do, the Death Eaters—each former students—all smiling triumphantly, Draco Malfoy staring in terror at what he had been forced to see…
And Harry… still trapped by the spell that he had cast.
He hoped that he would understand that it was for the best… that he could see that it was for his own good… though he knew that he could never ask for forgiveness for being forced to witness his own death—the one person he didn't want it to see. He was now begging inside his own head, hoping that he could hear him and understand that it was to keep both him and Draco safe… that if the two had been fighting by the time that the Death Eaters arrived then it would've ruined everything.
As he felt his life fading from his body, he understood what his greatest regret was. It wasn't because of trusting too much… it was the lack of trust. That he couldn't ever feel like he could completely trust another, despite what he felt for them.
There were so many things he did not get to tell him, so much he did not explain about his life or his past or what he speculated might be coming. This young man had so little faith and confidence in himself when he first arrived… since then he had done his best to teach him and guide him through the darkness until he was ready to walk forward on his own, without another there to protect him.
He had always held such high hopes for Harry… trusting him more than he had trusted another since he had been a very young man himself. And he was glad that he got to spend his last few hours with him as well…
He felt tears burning his eyes and a smile appeared on his mouth as he was able to stare past the green skull and up to the countless stars above him. He felt… he truly felt that he was leaving this world in the best capable hands as possible.
'My name is Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore…' he thought to himself, 'And though I have lived through much suffering and countless regrets… I've still had a marvelous life.'
He shut his eyes and the darkness came for good this time. It had come faster and easier than he thought… much easier than falling asleep in fact. And as his spirit faded away, leaving this world behind him, a single sentence suddenly returned to him…
"He accused me of being 'Dumbledore's man through and through'… I told him I was."
In the end… everyone dies… both the strong and the weak… the kind and the greedy… the rich and the poor…
"And even me…" he whispered.
And then that lifeless body hit the ground… but Albus Dumbledore was beyond felling pain as his spirit was freed at long last from his long suffering.
(How was it? Dumbledore's finally died and I actually felt the need to cry while I was writing this. While I'm not making any promises, stick around to see what I've got planned next. Hope you enjoyed it… and though I plan on doing another chapter before the new year, in case I don't get it up before the end of the year, please enjoy this as a X-mas present…)
