AN
Some of you may recognise this, I first started uploading this story earlier this year, but have had a very traumatic time recently, so I took my stories down to stop myself feeling so much pressure to update when I felt that i couldn't, and I hate letting people down. As I've been rereading, I've been making some tweaks, so if you've read the original story, please disregard it, as there are some things that I am changing to make the story more solid, as I was beginning to notice some sloppiness with the plot.
Thank you everyone for your support over the past few months, especially my darling Dream, your messages have really helped me through and I am so glad that I've found a friend in you. This first chapter is dedicated to you. Thank you for making me love writing again.
Chapter 1
Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift, that's why it is called the present.
In my line of work, you take very day at face value, as it may very well be your last. In my time I have dealt with deranged Moroi, masses of Strigoi and a hell of a reputation. Sometimes I forget the lessons of days past, and find those days repeating over and over until I get my stubborn mind to accept what it should have done long ago. It has taken many (many, many) years to appreciate how exactly I came to be here at this exact place and time, recounting my story to you.
So with all that in mind, we shall start at (almost) the beginning, with, you guessed it, those fateful words in the chapel…
"Love fades, mine has"
With those words my world came crashing down, everything I had worked for and risked seemed to mean nothing in that moment. Does he not understand what I did to save his life? I gave him back the one thing he held dearest, and now it is as if none of it had happened. I fled from the chapel with tears in my eyes, not caring who saw, feeling no shame in one of my bleakest moments.
I got to my room, wrenched open the door and stumbled inside, my vision clouded, equally by rage and the tears that were still falling like heavy rain, and threw myself down on my bed. Sometimes you just need to cry it out, and I did. Sometimes you also feel the need to pack a bag and run, which I got half way through before realising that this is not what Guardian Rose Hathaway would do, and that's how Novie Hathaway got me to where I was. I sat, a bag open with three t-shirts and that damned lip gloss inside. Staring at the contents, I realised that I was at a crossroads. Last time I ran, it was to kill/save Dimitri, and we all know where that landed me. Whilst pondering my next move, I figured that I may as well be productive and figured a good, long run wouldn't hurt. Whilst never my favourite activity, the rhythmic pounding of my feet on the track would help me to think.
After drying my eyes and washing my face, I changed into my gym gear and headed down to the track. 20 laps later, I had decided what to do. No more crying over Dimitri, no more worrying about Lissa as anything more than my charge, from then on I would become the job, the model Guardian. No more drama or heart break or running away. Just running towards being the best damn Guardian the world had ever seen. After my run I hit the gym, going at the punching bag with everything in me, getting out all the leftover feelings of resentment and anger. This would be my outlet from now on, running and training and lifting weights until I was too tired to care anymore, leaving the gym stronger every day, straying further from who I was, towards who I was meant to be.
Day in day out for months I continued this regime, until all I could be found doing was working, eating and exercising. My friends eventually got the message to just leave me to it, all except one. Surprisingly, Adrian. Even though everyone avoided me like the plague, he continued to bug me until I eventually gave in. It only started as a grunt of acknowledgment in place of a glare, till acknowledgment became one, two word answers, sentences, and then I was communicating like a person again.
The easy friendship (and nothing more which was the big shocker) alleviated the negative effects of being so dedicated to my work (which is a fancy way of putting it, I was basically a hermit who lived in the gym) Even though me and Lissa were nowhere near as close as we once were, the effects of darkness still got to me. Adrian understood, he knew how to keep me calm so when I wasn't working, I could truly rest. Over the months of working with Liss, he had mastered some level of healing ability, but found it most effective when he dream walked. He would visit me every night to talk and soothe me to a peaceful slumber. He kept me sane when sheer determination couldn't, and to this day I will owe him my life.
Aside from Adrian, another surprise came my way in the form of my mother. Whilst we had never been close when I grew up, now that I had graduated and been assigned, we maintained more stable communication. She told me about her travels with Lord Szelsky, I wrote her back about the comings and goings of court. She would deny it till she was blue in the face, but that woman lived for gossip. When she visited court with her charge, and could get a night off, she would accompany me to the gym, we would work out, spar and trade notes, then she would crash at my place, I would tell her all the juicy details that I couldn't disclose in my letters and she would cook something that she learned on her travels with my father. We'd dig in, split a pint of Ben and Jerry's after and just hang out. We never really seemed to develop that mother-daughter bond, but she became like an older sister, which suited us both just fine. I started to let go of the grudge I held against her for leaving me, I would never forget, but in time I understood her more, and instead of desiring to change the past, I figured what the heck, may as well move forward. We grew closer, and she reminded me that life wasn't just work all the time. There was still space for me, even if that space was small, it was mine and nobody could touch that.
Time kept passing, the world moved forwards. Lissa went to Lehigh after a longer than planned break with me in tow, as well as another guardian, Celeste. Dimitri was assigned to Christian, as was Eddie. This meant we were all a bit close for comfort considering our history, but it was easier to guard our charges during the daylight, as we were on a human schedule. During the night their accommodations were warded and there were always a few extra guards from court posted around the area just in case. I found myself surprisingly good at political sciences, and somewhat enjoyed the experience, it was definitely different to what we studied at the academy.
We had been at Lehigh for a year and a half, when one day Dimitri came to my room in the night. Alone.
AN
Hope you all like the first chapter, promise the real story will get moving soon, just trying to cover what's happened between then and where the story picks up :) reviews and CC welcome, would love to hear what you all think! Also to clarify, in this story Rose didn't get framed for Tatianna's murder, she is still alive and well (for now?).
Till next time!
