Late September, 1976
This year we have to take our O.W.L.S and I am sufficiently nervous. Marlene and Lily spent a lot of time studying and turoring with Tobster. Meanwhile, I usually was in the Hufflepuff common room studying with Lydia and some of her Hufflepuff buddies. When we weren't at the Hufflepuff common room, we were at the Gryffindor dorms, studying with Molly Prewett and Arthur Weasley. All in all, it was a good arrangement,
The best days, however, were when we all studied together—Hufflepuffs and Gryffindors alike. It was especially fun when Lily and Marlene joined, but then I never got any actual studying done.
Lydia and I were studying in the Hufflepuff dorms when she remembered that she was supposed to meet up with Peter. Therefore, we left the dorms and then parted ways. I didn't really know what to do so I decided to head back to the Gryffindor dorms. If Molly and Arthur weren't available, I knew Remus wouldn't be impartial in spending some idle time with me.
As I walked through the corridor, I turned a corner to find Sirius. I was about to greet him but then I noticed the Ravenclaw girl beside him. Then he bent down and kissed her on the lips.
Jealousy I didn't want entered my heart as I forced myself to look ahead and just walk past them. When I succeeded, I could tell the Ravenclaw was looking at me as I walked. I didn't care but when I turned anither corner, getting out of their line of sight, I leaned against the wall and breathed in relief.
I didn't know what I expected. Sirius was the player of Hogwarts. So what I was 'his girl'. Thst didn't matter to Sirius so it shouldn't matter to me. Except, of course, it did. It did metter to me and it bothered me every time I saw him with a different girl. It bothered me that he flirted with nearly every girl in school—including Marlene when she didn't kick him—but me.
It also bothered me that it bothered me. It bothered me that I made a decision and walked back around the corner.
I knew I would regret it, but I was both annoyed and angry so there you go.
I stopped in front of Sirius and the Ravenclaw, who were talking and smiling with each other. The Ravenclaw gave me the dirtiest of looks but Sirius simply gave me a charming smile that almost made me melt.
I held my ground, however, as I said, "Leave us." The Ravenclaw actually laughed and that was when I glared at her. "Now."
The amusement left her eyes and were replaced with terror as she scurried off. Sirius watched her go and then gave me a confused look.
"What was that about?"
It took me a while to find the exact words I needed to portray what I felt. "You truly are the Black Plague. And I was so, so stupid to be a victim to your charms."
Sirius chuckled but look very uneasy. "Um, Kaiser? You okay?"
I ignored his stupid question. "I'm your girl? You really expect me to believe that? Especially when I see you every week with a different girl and when I see you flirt wifh everyone around me. You are so full of crap and words can't express how stupid I was to hang on to every word you said about me being 'your girl'. I'm done with you, Black."
Not eanting to give him time to respond, I spun on my heel and began to walk away. But Sirius rushed after him and gradded hold of my arm, forcing me to stop and face him.
"Kaiser, please wait."
I snatched my arm away from him. "Don't touch me."
"Kaiser!"
Sirius walked beside me, obviously waiting for me to stop, but I didn't. I didn't want to hear anything he had to say. Instead, all I wanted was for Marlene's mother to give me the cure to the Black Plague. All I wanted was not to feel the way I feel whenever Sirius was around. I didn't want to feel disappointed and jealous when he was with someone that wasn't me.
"Kaiser, you're obvious upset," Sirius said, walking in front of me, forcing me to stop. "Let me explain."
I had sufficiently calmed down so I crossed my arms and glared at him. "This should be good. What lie have you got for me now, Black?"
Sirius sighed and placed his hands in his pockets. "Kaiser, you are my girl"—I scoffed and rolled my eyes— "and it is because of that that I don't flirt with you."
I wondered if he was wording it wrong or if he eas jusf plain dumb. "That makes zero sense."
Sirius smiled slightly. "I realize that. But I'll explain if you want me too."
I shook my head, looking down at my feet. I already regretted my decision to confront him and all I wanted now was for this entire conversation to never have happened. "Forget it, Black. Just forget it. I was just in a mood."
I started to walk away but Sirius blocked my path again. "You weren't in a mood, Kaiser. I know you better than that. You're confused and I will explain whether you want me to or not."
"Fine, go ahead."
"All right," Sirius said, obviously wondering how fo begin. "I don't have a romantic bone in my body. Frankly, I don't like being committed to a person romantically, hence the different girls each week. I'm just not built for it. I missed the maturity bus and I can't find it. So there you go."
"That's it?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.
"No," he added. "Because I can't commit, I don't want to give you false hope that I will commit for you. I care about you, Kaiser. You're a pain at times, obviously, but I care about you. I don't want to hurt you and or give you any disappointment."
I pressed my lips together and kept my annoyance at bay. "That's too late, Black. I already am disappointed and honestly if you wanted have spared me, you wouldn't have spent time with me. You wouldn't have teased me and —"
"Flirted with you?" Sirius interuppted with a smile. "Because whether or not you noticed, Kaiser, I flirted with you quite a lot."
"Exactly," I agreed. "You wouldn't have done all that. You wouldn't have called me 'your girl'. Because I'm not and I never will be. Sometimes I think I'm not the one who needs to realize that."
Sirius didn't respond and he didn't stop me as I continued my way back to the Gryffindor dorms. When I arrived, Lily was there, talking with Remus. Therefore, I planted a smile on my face and joined them, pretending everything was all right.
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So what do you guys think? Both Sirius and Cerisa have thinking to do...
Read and review as always!!! Love you guys! :)
