Chapter 73: The Truth Revealed
How did it all go so wrong so quickly?
One minute they were sitting by that lake, laughing and savoring the fact that they were alive and safe… but now they were here…
As the trio were catching their breath and were about to get their new tent out, Harry had another vision of Voldemort and it had been just as Dumbledore had feared… Tom finally knew that they were hunting his Horcruxes. He had checked on Tom at that moment when he knew that Harry was seeing into his mind again. He witnessed the fear and rage on Tom's face when he had discovered that the cup had been stolen. Going on a rampage and killing everyone in his sight, until he was pacing back and forth down the room, the bodies of wizards and goblins lying at his feet…
Albus pulled himself back, sickened at the sight of it all. There truly wasn't anything left in Tom was there? Just an empty shell with a black hole where his heart had once been. He knew that it had been foolish, but there had always been a tiny ray of hope that there was still a shred of humanity in him. But in Tom's desperate desire to live forever, he had destroyed his own soul and had unknowingly cursed himself to a fate worse than death… there wasn't left of him.
But there was a bit of good news… for Harry informed his friends that he finally knew the location of the last Horcrux and he had been right all along. It was apparently at Hogwarts.
Albus shook his head, wondering how he could've missed this. He had been Headmaster there for most of his life and yet he never figured out that there was a Horcrux inside those magical walls all those years? How could Tom have hidden something there without him knowing? And where was it now?
Harry claimed that he didn't know where it was, but they had to go there and try to find it. Voldemort was going to check the locations of the other Horcrux's just to make sure that they were safe. And Albus knew that once he discovered that they were gone, then he was going to completely lose it. He agreed with Harry, they had to get to this final Horcrux before Tom did.
For once Tom had seen that his other Horcrux's were gone, there was a chance that he may move the last one from its hiding place in the castle. If that should happen, then they may never find it. So after arguing and a little panicking on the trio's part, they threw the cloak over them and made to Disapperate to Hogsmeade and just figure it out as they went.
He had to admit though… their best plans just seem to be winging it and hoping for the best. He only hoped that their luck hadn't run out.
In the next moment they were back among a street that he knew all too well. They were back at Hogsmeade and his heart ached painfully as he remembered the last time that he had been here… it was with Harry and he had been so weak and in so much pain that he had to lean on Harry just to stay upright.
But at that moment there came a horrible loud shriek and Albus had forgotten about that. The Death Eaters had put up charms so that no one can walk the streets after hours so that they could catch any student to try and escape the castle. He should've guessed that they would do something like that. At that moment, the doors to the Three Broomsticks burst open and at least a dozen Death Eaters came dashing out with their wands held up and ready for a fight.
After putting an end to the shrieking nose, the Death Eaters were searching around for any trace of Harry, and Albus was grateful for the darkness covering up their disembodied feet from under the cloak.
"Accio Cloak!" roared one of the Death Eaters
But that did not worry him. For that would have defeated the purpose of the Cloak… its purpose was to protect and conceal so a simple Summoning Charm would never be able to work on it unless the owner needed it to. And he wasn't surprised to see that nothing happened.
"Not under your wrapper, then, Potter?" yelled the Death Eater, "Spread now. He's here."
Albus watched with baited breath as six of them ran right down the street and to where he knew that the three were hidden. Tom's servants ran by them, just barely missing them as they went searching desperately for their quarry.
"Let's just leave!" he heard Hermione whisper in a petrified tone. "Disapparate now!"
"Great idea," Ron agreed, but at that moment a Death Eater shouted out to them.
"We know you are here, Potter, and there's no getting away! We'll find you!"
"They were ready for us," he heard Harry whisper to them. "They set up that spell to tell them we'd come. I reckon they've done something to keep us here, trap us - "
He was right, if they tried to Disapparate now, then it would just give their location away to their enemy. He bit his lower lip and stared around for someone, anyone, to help them escape from here.
"What about Dementors?" called another Death Eater. "Let 'em have free rein, they'd find him quick enough!"
Oh, this only kept getting worse…
"The Dark Lord wants Potter dead by no hands but his –" another reminded him.
"'an Dementors won't kill him! The Dark Lord wants Potter's life, not his soul. He'll be easier to kill if he's been Kissed first!" he retorted and Albus felt himself go pale when he saw them all agreeing with that. To repel Dementors they would have to produce Patronuses which would give them away immediately.
"We're going to have to try to Disapparate, Harry!" he Hermione whisper again desperately, but even as she said it, the familiar cold sweep over them. Light was sucked from the environment right up to the stars, which vanished.
There was no choice… they would have to fight. The Death Eaters had already made sure that they couldn't leave by Disapparating and have summoned the Dementors. He bit his lip as he watched as the cold grew stronger and the horrible creatures came. At least a dozen of them gliding down the street, searching for the ones whom they knew shouldn't be here.
And to his dread it didn't take them long to find them. They felt their presence there and started to head straight to a point right to his right, where they had to be hidden. That was when he saw the tip of Harry's wand sticking out from under the cloak.
"Expecto Patronum!"
And like that, the silver stag burst forth from his wand and it charged down at the Dementors, scattering them until the air was warm again. But that only confirmed the Death Eaters what they already knew and they were letting out a triumphant yell.
"It's him, down there, down there, I saw his Patronus, it was a stag!"
No. He wasn't blaming Harry, of course not. The Death Eaters just got something right for once. At that moment, they all began to run to the end of the street to where they had seen the stag appear, but before anything else could be done, a random door burst open and a familiar voice said, "Potter, in here, quick!"
Albus turned and to his amazement and utter gratitude, his little brother Aberforth was there. They were in the shadows of the Hog's Head and he must've heard what was happening and put it all together.
"Upstairs, keep the Cloak on, keep quiet!" he muttered, and when he felt the three of them pass by, he walked out himself to the middle of the street after slamming the door behind him so that he could face the Death Eaters himself.
Though he knew that he could take care of himself, Albus still felt fear at the sight of Aberforth marching towards them. But then he remembered who he was looking out and relaxed when he heard Aberforth shouting out at them all, "So what? So what? You send Dementors down my street, I'll send a Patronus back at 'em! I'm not having 'em near me, I've told you that. I'm not having it!"
"That wasn't your Patronus," one of the Death Eaters retorted. "That was a stag. It was Potter's!"
"Stag!" Aberforth shouted out furiously before he pulled out his wand. He watched as some of the Death Eaters tensed up, reaching for their own wands in case he attacked them, but then, "Stag! You idiot - Expecto Patronum!"
And he summoned his own Patronus to show them. If the Death Eaters had really thought about it then they would have seen that the two Patronus's were not the same. But already there was doubt there. But then again, Tom appreciated blind loyalty more than intelligence when it came to his servants.
"That's not what I saw," one said, sounding like he wasn't sure what to think.
One of the others took another approach and demanded, "Curfew's been broken, you heard the noise. Someone was out on the streets against regulations - "
"If I want to put my cat out, I will, and be damned to your curfew!" Aberforth yelled back.
"You set off the Caterwauling Charm?" they demanded.
"What if I did?" he shouted back, showing that he refused to be intimidated by the likes of them and Albus beamed with pride. "Going to cart me off to Azkaban? Kill me for sticking my nose out my own front door? Do it, then, if you want to! But I hope for your sakes you haven't pressed your little Dark Marks, and summoned him. He's not going to like being called here, for me and my old cat, is he, now?"
No… he wouldn't. And given with how furious and paranoid that Tom was right now, he suspected the he would most likely kill all the Death Eaters right here for daring to summon him without having Harry.
"Don't worry about us," one of the Death Eaters barked, but anyone could hear the anxiety there, also thinking the same thing. "Worry about yourself, breaking curfew!"
"And where will you lot traffic potions and poisons when my pub's closed down?" Aberforth demanded, "What will happen to your little sidelines then?"
"Are you threatening - ?"
"I keep my mouth shut, it's why you come here, isn't it?" Aberforth yelled, not even bothering to let them finish.
"I still say I saw a stag Patronus!" shouted the first Death Eater.
"Stag?" Aberforth roared out. "It's a goat, idiot!"
Albus spluttered out a strangled laugh, knowing that Aberforth was just too stubborn to ever believe in anything unless it was something he wanted to believe in. Though not much of a liar, he was a fantastic story-teller… he almost believed it himself that it was a goat he saw run down those Dementors.
"All right, we made a mistake," said the second Death Eater. "Break curfew again and we won't be so lenient!"
And to his relief, he watched as the Death Eaters stowed their wands away and strode back down the street, all of them complaining and grumbling the whole way. Once they were gone, Aberforth went back inside, re-bolting the door tightly before he went marching up the stairs to the nearest room and walked in to see the three of them standing there by the fireplace mantle and Hermione having collapsed into a nearby chair.
"You bloody fools," he said gruffly, using just one of his usual introductions. "What were you thinking, coming here?"
"Thank you," Harry panted gratefully. "We can't thank you enough. You saved our lives!"
Aberforth just grunted, which Albus knew was just his way of saying 'you're welcome'.
Harry was staring up at his face and seemed focused on his eyes before his own widened in realization, "It's your eye I've been seeing in the mirror."
Ron and Hermione looked between the two of them as Harry and Aberforth just looked at each other.
"You sent Dobby," Harry went on and Aberforth nodded, before he glanced around, as if thinking that Dobby was nearby.
"Thought he'd be with you. Where've you left him?"
Pain flashed across Harry's face at the question before he said grimly, "He's dead. Bellatrix Lestrange killed him."
Though there was no emotion on his face, Albus knew that Aberforth was taking the news hard. Once he found his voice he said, "I'm sorry to hear it, I liked that elf."
That was something that Albus couldn't argue with. Dobby was someone whom you couldn't help but come to like. Aberforth did a good job of hiding his emotions as he turned away from them, focused on lighting the lamps with his wand. The other three watched him for a while before Harry said, in more of a statement than a question, "You're Aberforth."
Aberforth didn't say a word to him, focusing on lighting the fire before Harry spotted the mirror on the mantle above. Harry looked at it and asked "How did you get this?"
"Bought it from Dung 'bout a year ago," said Aberforth disinterestedly. "Albus told me what it was. Been trying to keep an eye out for you."
This was true. He remembered how Sirius was still at Grimmauld Place and one time he had gone there for a meeting, he spotted Sirius shouting Harry's name into the mirror. When he had asked him what he was doing, Sirius explained what they were and how they worked. He also said that he had given Harry the other mirror, yet he wasn't using it. And then, during his last year of life, when he dropped in on Aberforth after he had a word with Mundungus for stealing from Grimmauld Place, he spotted the mirror on the mantle much like how Harry had.
He then informed Aberforth what it could do, and Albus had been hoping that he would be able to keep an eye on for the three of them for him. And he was glad that Aberforth was for it did save them from Malfoy Manor.
Ron suddenly gasped in excitement and asked, "The silver doe, was that you too?"
Albus had to fight the small smile. Really, Ronald, you need to learn to pay attention. Aberforth just proved that his Patronus is a goat.
"What are you talking about?" asked Aberforth in confusion.
"Someone sent a doe Patronus to us!" Ron explained and Aberforth rolled his eyes.
"Brains like that, you could be a Death Eater, son," he retorted. "Haven't I just prove my Patronus is a goat?"
"Oh," said Ron, and his face was turning red before his stomach started to roar and he complained about being hungry.
Not very good with comebacks that young man.
Aberforth seemed to take pity on that as he looked them over and realizing that they had all lost a lot of weight since being on the run and were still covered in burns and scars from their escape from Gringotts just hours before. He brought back some food for them after a minute, carrying bread, cheese, and mead for them—which they ate gratefully.
"Right then," said Aberforth once they had eaten their fill. "We need to think of the best way to get you out of here. Can't be done by night, you heard what happens if anyone moves outdoors during darkness: Caterwauling Charm's set off, they'll be onto you like bowtruckles on doxy eggs. I don't reckon I'll be able to pass of a stag as a goat a second time. Wait for daybreak when curfew lifts, then you can put your Cloak back on and set out on foot. Get right out of Hogsmeade, up into the mountains, and you'll be able to Disapparate there. Might see Hagrid. He's been hiding in a cave up there with Grawp ever since they tried to arrest him."
"We're not leaving," said Harry, who looked close to dozing off in his chair from exhaustion. "We need to get into Hogwarts."
"Don't be stupid, boy," Aberforth barked back.
Once again, just Aberforth's way of showing concern for their well-being.
"We've got to," Harry pressed on.
"What you've got to do," said Aberforth, leaning forward and said very seriously, "is to get as far from here as from here as you can."
"You don't understand. There isn't much time. We've got to get into the castle. Dumbledore - I mean, your brother - wanted us –" Harry began, but at the mention of his 'brother' Albus saw Aberforht's eyes turn dark. Albus sighed grimly, knowing that was the worst thing to say…
Aberforth didn't like to hear about him… he hated it when he was called his brother. The light from the fire reflected off his glasses, until there was nothing but light and it was impossible to try and see the emotions there. Yet, Albus had a very good idea what was going on inside his head…
"My brother Albus wanted a lot of things," said Aberforth, "and people had a habit of getting hurt while he was carrying out his grand plans.
Albus hung his head in shame, fighting the waves of emotions that were fighting to get out. He wanted to deny those words, yet he couldn't for he knew that they were very true. These three were living proof of that.
"You get away from this school, Potter, and out of the country if you can," Aberforth said, "Forget my brother and his clever schemes. He's gone where none of this can hurt him, and you don't owe him anything."
Well… Aberforth was half right…
Harry didn't owe him anything… it was quite the opposite…
"You don't understand," Harry began again, but Aberforth cut him off again.
"Oh, don't I? he asked quietly. "You don't think I understood my own brother? Think you know Albus better than I did?"
Albus stepped away from the scene, as if he was watching it from the far end of a tunnel. And though his younger brother didn't even speak up in more than a whisper, the words were still loud in his ears as if he had bellowed it.
Albus knew that Aberforth knew their past, yet they would go for years without speaking, so it would be impossible to know someone all that well. The truth was, Albus knew that no one knew who he was inside for he could never bring himself to completely trust another. Yet another regret…
"I didn't mean that," said Harry, "It's… he left me a job."
"Did he now?" Aberforth asked as he raised his eyebrows at him. "Nice job, I hope? Pleasant? Easy? Sort of thing you'd expect an unqualified wizard kid to be able to do without overstretching themselves?"
Everything that Aberforth was saying was like a slap in the face to him. Those guilty feelings only increasing when he heard Ron gave a grim laugh and Hermione was looking on fearfully, like she expected a fight to break out.
Harry looked like he wanted to lie, but there was no reason to try and deny it so he admitted, rather painfully, "I-it's not easy, no. But I've got to - "
"Got to? Why got to? He's dead, isn't he?" Aberforth demanded roughly. "Let it go, boy, before you follow him! Save yourself!"
"I can't," Harry said, shaking his head.
"Why not?"
"Because whether he does it or not… he could die," Albus whispered, knowing that Tom would never let Harry live in peace so long as he still lived himself.
"I - " Harry said, though he looked like he couldn't find the words to explain what was going on inside. So instead he demanded, "But you're fighting too, you're in the Order of the Phoenix - "
"I was," Aberforth admitted. "The Order of the Phoenix is finished. You-Know-Who's won, it's over, and anyone who's pretending different is kidding themselves."
Albus looked at him, a little surprised that he would say that. But he had to admit that it did appear that Tom had already won. Yet there were still people out there willing to fight; proving that this was far from over.
"It'll never be safe for you here, Potter, he wants you too badly," Aberforth said seriously. "So go abroad, go into hiding, save yourself. Best take these two with you." He jerked a thumb at Ron and Hermione. "They'll be in danger long as they live now everyone knows they've been working with you."
"I can't leave," said Harry. "I've got a job - "
"Give it to someone else!" Aberforth barked, growing more and more frustrated with him. Albus didn't want this anymore than his brother did, but he also knew Harry. He knew that Harry wouldn't stop even if given the choice. He would want to finish what he started. Besides, to whom could he give it to?
"I can't," Harry said regretfully. "It's got to be me, Dumbledore explained it all - "
"Oh, did he now?" Aberforth asked and that was when he sounded truly skeptical. "And did he tell you everything, was he honest with you?"
Again, that was as good as a smack. Albus flinched horribly, and his guilt rose higher when Harry didn't say anything to deny it. Though that wasn't a surprise for he knew that Harry knew that as well.
"I knew my brother, Potter," Aberforth said darkly. "He learned secrecy at our mother's knee. Secrets and lies, that's how we grew up, and Albus… he was a natural."
That was true… all of it. His dear mother did teach him to become an amazing liar… it was the only way that they could protect Ariana. Though, to be honest, Aberforth was never much of one. He knew how to keep his mouth shut, but lying was so much more difficult for him.
Aberforth was then looking over at Ariana's portrait over the mantel. Albus knew that Aberforth had done it himself… having worked very hard to make it look just like her after she had died. He had known her so well that he could do it perfectly and captured her sweetness in the paint better than anyone else could have.
"Mr. Dumbledore?" said Hermione rather timidly. "Is that your sister? Ariana?
"Yes," said Aberforth abruptly before he asked, "Been reading Rita Skeeter, have you, missy?"
Hermione turned red but Harry spared her the pain of answering that by saying, "Elphias Doge mentioned her to us."
Aberforth didn't look impressed as he took a swig of mead himself and muttered, "That old berk. Thought the sun shone out of my brother's every office, he did. Well, so did plenty of people, you three included, by the looks of it."
Something that Albus knew he didn't deserve. Yet those words warmed his heart so much that he couldn't help but want to cling to them. Yes, he wanted to be admired… yes, he wanted people to look up and listen to what he said. But he knew that he was still so selfish. Just as selfish he had been when he was young.
Hermione looked up and bravely said, "Professor Dumbledore cared about Harry, very much."
Once again, Aberforth looked skeptical. "Did he now? Funny thing how many of the people my brother cared about very much ended up in a worse state than if he'd left 'em well alone."
He couldn't hold them back. Tears began to fall down Albus's face at those words. After Ariana had died, Aberforth refused to speak, or even look at him ever again. Albus had spent a couple years wandering, trying to figure out the turmoil inside his own head, to figure out just what it was that he was to do. Aberforth had returned to Hogwarts, if only to escape the house where their broken family had lived, and he remained there until he had left the school.
It was after Aberforth left Hogwarts did Albus return to the castle and asked for a job, knowing that it was the only place that he could feel safe. And to keep everyone else safe from him. But it was still many years later before he worked up the courage to write to his little brother, desperately reaching out to try and connect with him.
After some time, they eventually came to an understanding. They weren't friends but they were able to meet without a fight breaking out. Yet… just like when they were young, Aberforth kept his mouth shut about how he truly felt. Albus always suspected that this was how he felt about him, but he had never said it because he was afraid of finding out the truth. Though now that he was dead, and the world knew some of the past, there was no point in keeping quiet.
Would Harry have been happier if he never planned out his life for him? Would Ariana have been better off if their family had accepted help? He didn't know anymore.
"What do you mean?" asked Hermione breathlessly, looking afraid of what he might say next.
"Never you mind," Aberforth retorted rudely.
"But that's a really serious thing to say!" Hermione pressed on, her eyes looking to the painting before she worked up her courage and asked, "Are you - are you talking about your sister?"
Aberforth glared at her: His lips moved as if he were chewing the words he was holding back. For a moment he looked like he was just going to tell her that it was none of her business, like he had always down. But after decades of anger and pain just seemed to build up until, at long last, he burst out talking to them.
"When my sister was six years old, she was attacked, by three Muggle boys," he said loudly, and Albus felt a tremor of fear going through him as he realized that Harry was about to get the whole story…
"They'd seen her doing magic, spying through the back garden hedge: She was a kid, she couldn't control it, no witch or wizard can at that age. What they saw, scared them, I expect. They forced their way through the hedge, and when she couldn't show them the trick, they got a bit carried away trying to stop the little freak doing it."
Pain was all that Albus could feel. It had been years since he heard what had happened that day spoken out-loud. He thought about what happened so often… yet he never spoke of it. It was like it was taboo, and if by not speaking of it could somehow make it less real. But to hear him shouting it out like this was more than he could ever bear.
Aberforth's own anger and pain seemed to spread like a raging storm cloud, covering everything as he let out decades worth of grief.
"It destroyed her, what they did!" he shouted out, "She was never right again. She wouldn't use magic, but she couldn't get rid of it; it turned inward and drove her mad, it exploded out of her when she couldn't control it, and at times she was strange and dangerous. But mostly she was sweet and scared and harmless."
Again, that was true. Ariana's truest nature had always been kind and gentle. But she was afraid of magic, terrified that it would hurt her. As far as she was concerned, magic ruined her life and if she never had it then those boys never would've hurt her. But the harder she tried to hold her magic back, the more unstable it became until it finally would just burst out—unexpectedly and often violently. Albus cover his face as he cried hard at the tragic story…
"And my father went after the bastards that did it," Aberforth snarled out, "and attacked them. And they locked him up in Azkaban for it. He never said why he'd done it, because the Ministry had known what Ariana had become, she'd have been locked up in St. Mungo's for good. They'd have seen her as a serious threat to the International Statute of Secrecy, unbalanced like she was, with magic exploding out of her at moments when she couldn't keep it in any longer. We had to keep her safe and quiet. We moved house, put it about she was ill, and my mother looked after her, and tried to keep her calm and happy."
But was that right? Was that the best decision to make? They had done so much to keep her safe and hidden so that she wouldn't be locked away at St Mungo's. A little girl… locked away in the closed ward for the rest of her life? They wanted her to live far away from that kind of a situation, but was it just possible that they did more harm than good?
"I was her favorite," his brother went on, and for a moment he sounded like a young child again. "Not Albus, he was always up in his bedroom when he was home, reading his books and counting his prizes, keeping up with his correspondence with "the most notable magical names of the day."
Albus didn't want to hear anymore, he couldn't bear hearing all this being shoved right back into his face even if he wasn't truly here any longer. But Aberforth just went on and Albus found himself unable to turn away.
"He didn't want to be bothered with her," he said. "She liked me best. I could get her to eat when she wouldn't do it for my mother, I could calm her down, when she was in one of her rages, and when she was quiet, she used to help me feed the goats."
Yes, that was one of the reasons he was so fond of goats… they brought back happier memories of him and Ariana. He said that she liked him best and that was true. They had been very close when they were children, hardly ever saw them apart. He could make her laugh and cheer her up when their mother was too tired, or… or when Albus was up in his room.
"Then, when she was fourteen…" Aberforth stated, but it was clear that it was becoming harder and harder for him to continue speaking, yet he couldn't seem to stop himself. "See, I wasn't there. If I'd been there, I could have calmed her down. She had one of her rages, and my mother wasn't as young as she was, and… it was an accident. Ariana couldn't control it. But my mother was killed."
He took a deep breath and went on, pain written all over his face, "So that put paid to Albus's trip round the world with little Doge. The pair of 'em came home for my mother's funeral and then Doge went off on his own, and Albus settled down as head of the family. Ha!"
Albus just watched on, the pain and the shame inside him felt like it was tearing his soul apart. And his heart just seemed to shatter when Aberforth spat angrily into the fire.
"I'd have looked after her, I told him so, I didn't care about school, I'd have stayed home and done it. He told me I had to finish my education and he'd take over from my mother," Aberforth informed them.
Of course. He couldn't neglect his education just because their mother was no longer here. He wanted him to go to school so that he could be able to support himself and Ariana in the future. It was only for a couple more years… and then Albus would've felt right about leaving her in his brother's hands and he could be free to change the world and move onto great things. But thinking back, he knew that Aberforth never felt like Hogwarts was his home without Ariana there. He was a true big brother… he always wrote back to her, several times a day, and would constantly ask how she was doing and that she was to be a good girl for their mother.
She listened to him, and always did better when she would wait for him to come back home and tell her that he was proud of her. That simple, but pleased, smile that would come to her face just seemed to light up the whole world… how could Albus have never noticed that before? When he would come home, he would barely look at her before he would race upstairs to continue studying… only leaving to join them at the dinner table. And even then, that was as a favor to his mother rather than actually wanting to sit there.
"Bit of a comedown for Mr. Brilliant, there's no prizes for looking after your half-mad sister, stopping her blowing up the house every other day," Aberforth yelled out, sounding livid, "But he did all right for a few weeks… till he came."
And now he looked deadly, almost like he was close to destroying something in his anger.
"Grindelwald," he snarled. "And at last, my brother had an equal to talk to someone just as bright and talented he was. And looking after Ariana took a backseat then, while they were hatching all their plans for a new Wizarding order and looking for Hallows, and whatever else it was they were so interested in. Grand plans for the benefit of all Wizard-kind, and if one young girl neglected, what did that matter, when Albus was working for the greater good?"
Words that he, himself, had said all those years ago that were just torture now. He couldn't bring himself to look in a mirror for years, there were days that he was so miserable that Albus just wanted to lie in bed, in the dark, and just fade away.
In his pride and lust for glory he had neglected the only two family members he had left. He lost the will to live that day and became an empty husk of a man, tormented in sleep and while awake both by the memory of his sin. Though he did find some measure of solace when he discovered teaching, but he was always shackled to the dark memories that he sometimes wished that he could just forget.
It hurt too much… he couldn't be himself. He wanted to be someone else… if he helped enough then he was different, no longer that selfish little boy. We can change if we want it enough, that's what he wanted to believe. However, he learned that you can't run from who you are. No matter where he went or what he did, there he was… the chains of the past binding him too tightly… we all carry chains of our pasts with us…
It would be so much easier if he could just be one thing… that egotistical, arrogant little boy who failed his family, or the man who had spent most of his life at the school and did his best to teach the next generation. Hoping that he could help teach them not to make the same mistakes that he had in his life.
If Harry and Aberforth wanted to hate him, then that was alright. There was no shame in that for he could understand completely. For he often hated himself as well.
"But after a few weeks of it, I'd had enough, I had," Aberforth confessed angrily. "It was nearly time for me to go back to Hogwarts, so I told 'em, both of 'em, face-to-face, like I am to you, now! I told him, you'd better give it up now."
And Albus thought back to that day. When they were both still teenagers, his brother half wild and furious as he went marching up to him, after the two of them had spent the last hour discussing possible places where the Hallows might be.
"You can't move her, she's in no fit state, you can't take her with you, wherever it is you're planning to go, when you're making your clever speeches, trying to whip yourselves up a following. He didn't like that."
No he didn't… and Albus's memory came back and he was seeing it all over again as he listened to Aberforth's words.
"Grindelwald didn't like that at all. He got angry. He told me what a stupid little boy I was, trying to stand in the way of him and my brilliant brother… Didn't I understand, my poor sister wouldn't have to be hidden once they'd changed the world, and led the wizards out of hiding, and taught the Muggles their place?"
Aberforth didn't mean that, of course. He was angry with what those Muggles did to Ariana, not because he believed that wizards were better. Which was understandable…
Everyone hides things. Everyone pretends. He wanted nothing more than to fix things. He made mistakes and he wanted to make up for them. To make himself a new person. If he had known about what would happen, he would have stopped himself from ever meeting with Grindelwald… he would have done something to help Lily and James… he would've questioned Sirius and found out the truth rather than just allow him to be locked away for twelve years… he wouldn't have tried to keep Harry safe when it only hurt him in the end.
But he couldn't change that… it doesn't work like that. So he carried those memories to remember.
His mother, his father, his sister… for countless years, up until he died, he wondered if some part of them watched him still. He wondered if they wanted him to feel guilty. If they wanted him to make up for what he did.
"And there was an argument… and I pulled my wand, and he pulled out his, and I had the Cruciatus Curse used on me by my brother's best friend – and Albus was trying to stop him, and then all three of us were dueling, and the flashing lights and the bangs set her off, she couldn't stand it - "
The pain in Aberforth's voice was so great that it was as if someone had shoved a blade into his heart.
" - and I think she wanted to help, but she didn't really know what she was doing, and I don't know which of us did it, it could have been any of us - and she was dead."
Albus collapsed to the ground, his grief so great that he was unable to stand at all. He broke down completely, his cries of agony ringing in his own ears. And he wasn't the only one…
Aberforth's voice broke on the last word and he dropped down into the nearest chair, the grief over what happened that day still as strong as it was then. Hermione's face was wet with tears, and Ron was almost as pale as Aberforth. Harry's expression was just… empty… his eyes looking like they were a million miles away.
"I'm so… I'm so sorry," Hermione whispered, the tears continued to fall.
"Gone, gone forever," croaked Aberforth and he was also close to tears. He wiped his nose on his sleeve and cleared his throat, only speaking when he felt that he had a grasp of his emotions. "'Course, Grindelwald scarpered. He had a bit of a track record already, back in his own country, and he didn't want Ariana set to his account too. And Albus was free, wasn't he? Free of the burden of his sister, free to become the greatest wizard of the - "
Pain filled every part of him as he broke down again, wanting nothing more than to collapse into a fit of weeping then and there. So desperate to tell Aberforth that he was wrong… that he had never been free.
But then… to his shock… someone did speak the words he wanted so badly to say…
"He was never free."
Albus slowly raised his head, looking with tear-filled eyes to see that those words had come from Harry.
"I beg your pardon?" Aberforth asked, looking directly at him, and silently dared him to continue to try and prove him wrong.
"Never," Harry said and there was so much certainty in his voice that the tears stopped flooding for a moment in Albus's eyes. "The night that your brother died, he drank a potion that drove him out of his mind. He started screaming, pleading with someone who wasn't there. 'Don't hurt them, please… hurt me instead.'"
Albus stared at him, as if this was the first time that he had ever see him. He had always wondered if he had said anything while drinking that potion and now he knew. He was screaming out in agony at those memories. He remembered that terrible night, and how he was pleading with the Grindelwald inside his head to punish him and to let his little brother and sister go. And he also remembered the only thing that kept him going… that comforting voice in the distance telling him that it was going to be alright…
So that was what happened…
Ron and Hermione were staring at Harry in shock, and Albus knew that he had never spoken about this to anyone else. He never told them the details about that night, but Harry went on, telling Aberforth, "He thought he was back there with you and Grindelwald, I know he did. He thought he was watching Grindelwald hurting you and Ariana… It was torture to him, if you'd seen him then, you wouldn't say he was free."
The words echoed inside Albus's head as he stared at him. The things that he wanted to say the most to Aberforth for so long were too painful for him to come out and say. But Harry was able to speak them calmly, almost easily…
Words that he wanted Aberforth to know for so long but could never find the courage to do so…
Aberforth didn't seem to know what to think. Aberforth seemed to be taking this revelation like he just couldn't believe it. Albus didn't have a clue how he was feeling but after a long moment, he asked, "How can you be sure, Potter, that my brother wasn't more interested in the greater good than in you? How can you be sure you aren't dispensable, just like my little sister?"
Harry didn't answer, but the look on his face was as if he had been slapped this time.
"No, don't believe that for a moment, Harry, please…" Albus said, shaking his head. But this was greater than any one person. Albus meant the words that he spoke so long ago, how he had told Harry that he cared too much about his happiness… how his happiness became his chief concern over the years. But the harder that he tried to protect Harry, the worst that it got until it cost Sirius his life.
He had been forced to see something that he was not ready to see… that Harry didn't need his protection anymore, in fact, he didn't need it for a long time. He was an adult now and he knew that Harry wanted to be a part of this war. He wanted to fight and protect the people that he had come to care about. He wouldn't run even if he was given the choice because he wasn't going to just let others die trying to protect him any longer.
War was never a pleasant thing… and there had to be sacrifices. As much as he loathed himself to admit it… sometimes you have to think about the greater good.
"I don't believe it," Hermione said fiercely. "Dumbledore loved Harry."
'Thank you, Hermione,' he thought gratefully, but how did she believe so firmly about that? Even Harry was looking at her in surprise at how certain she sounded.
"Why didn't he tell him to hide, then?" shot back Aberforth. "Why didn't he say to him, 'Take care of yourself, here's how to survive'?"
"Because," Harry said suddenly before Hermione could even open her mouth, "sometimes you've got to think about more than your own safety! Sometimes you've got to think about the greater good! This is war!"
And yet Harry didn't see himself as a hero? Albus smiled with pride there knowing that if he wasn't one, then he didn't know who was. Harry was a better hero than he ever will be. Brave and determined is better than flawless. True heroes try their hardest even if they fail a lot. It's easy to be valiant when you always win and everything goes your way. There's nothing great in that.
"You're seventeen, boy!" Aberforth yelled out.
"I'm of age, and I'm going to keep fighting even if you've given up!" Harry shouted back
"Who says I've given up?"
"The Order of the Phoenix is finished," Harry repeated in the voice that he used when wishing to wound, "You-Know-Who's won, it's over, and anyone who's pretending different is kidding themselves."
"I don't say I like it, but it's the truth!" Aberforth stated.
"No, it isn't," said Harry firmly and the more he went on, the more confident that what he was saying was true. "Your brother knew how to finish You-Know-Who and he passed the knowledge on to me. I'm going to keep going until I succeed - or I die. Don't think I don't know how this might end. I've known it for years."
They both always knew… if you thought about it, it seemed obvious from the start how this would end. Harry and Voldemort would always be fighting against each other until the day that one of them left this world for good. Though at this point, it was impossible to know just who it would be who would win.
But Albus also knew that Voldemort was coming here tonight… leading an army of his own. Nagini was with him and the last Horcrux was hidden here at the castle. He didn't know how he knew, but somehow, he could sense that this war was, at long last, coming to its conclusion.
And everything now depended on these next few hours.
Aberforth didn't say a word as he just looked at him long and hard like he was a particularly difficult puzzle to figure out. Maybe Aberforth saw it too… maybe he felt how similar Harry was to Ariana, who stood up and tried to do what she could to stop the fighting, even though it cost her life in the end. If there was anyone out there who could feel that similarity between the two it would be him.
"We need to get into Hogwarts," said Harry again. "If you can't help us, we'll wait till daybreak, leave you in peace, and try to find a way in ourselves. If you can help us - well, now would be a great time to mention it."
Again, Aberforth just looked at him, gazing at Harry's eyes for the longest time and Albus was silently pleading for him to help. He may deny it, but Aberforth was a firm believer in justice and that there was a chance to end this war once and for all. He knew that he could help them, and Albus was hoping that he would… not for his sake, but for theirs and all the lives who depended on them.
And at last, Aberforth seemed to realize that. He stood and went to Ariana's portrait, telling her that she knew what to do.
Albus knew that Aberforth may never fully forgive him for his part in their sister's death, but he hoped that he would at least put that aside for now and help them to put an end of the war before anyone else would be forced to suffer. Though he also knew that he had every right to think the very worse in him as well.
At least Aberforth was honest with himself… he should've learned that lesson while he had a chance.
(Aww… so they now know the whole story of what happened. Things are coming to an end, and the battle of Hogwarts is next. Hope you're looking forward to that part and thanks for reading.)
