I only own Marianne! Everything else belongs to Hasbro!


~Bonds, Hot Spot~

~Bonds, Blades~

~Bonds, First Aid~

~Bonds, Groove~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa~

"Normal"

'Thoughts'

"Comms or phone, other side"

"Bumblebee, Tones"

"Bumblebee, Comms"

"Bumblebee, Radio"


Gestalt Lessons

The Next Morning

I stir, bumping my head on something warm and metal. My eyes snap open when I hear a whimper, and I look up. "Aid…" I glance to where I had hit my head. "Oh… Oops." I pat his hand. "Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

He shakes his head. "Don't be." He glances at me with a confused look.

I rub the back of my neck. "I just…I don't know why I wound up under your chin. It just felt right."

"You're fine." He smiles. "How did you sleep?"

I grin. "Better than I have since I was little enough to climb in bed with my parents." I shrug at his look. "I absolutely hate to be alone, but I've had to be to protect myself…" I smile as the other bots start moving. "Now I don't have to anymore."

He nods. "I need to get some energon, and you need breakfast."

"Morning."

"Morning, Spot." I finally sit up and stretch. I hadn't wanted to wake the others, after all. "Morning, Guys." I wait for Aid to set me on the ground, then start for my room. "I'm gonna get changed. I'll meet you downstairs, Aid."

"Don't forget, we've got your gestalt lessons as soon as you finish breakfast."

I nod and turn for the door before turning back to give Aid a look. "Would it be safe for me to try some energon?" The five give me a look. "I know it's dangerous to humans, but I'm not completely human."

"After your first transformation, you can. Don't risk it before that." Aid sighs. "And try to stick with low grade until you know how it affects you."

"And no high grade."

I start for my room. "I'll assume that'll be explained in your gestalt lessons."

"Yep."

I pull on a yellow tunic sweater and jeggings, then grab my blue-green coat before pulling on socks and my wedge boots. Once downstairs, I warm up a scrambled eggs and sausage frozen meal, then curl up on Spot's foot to eat, getting strange looks for a moment before they shrug me off, and I finish my breakfast in peace.

I throw the cardboard tray away, then glance up to Aid, who simply nods before following me out to the medical bay.


"Guess you're having a good day?"

I nod. "Don't have to hide anymore. I don't have to pretend to be a loner so I'll be safe." I smile. "I just am. I won't get punished for having compassion, I…" I look down at the memory.

"You what?"

"I won't have to watch another innocent die because I was too afraid of Aaron to say "No"." I shake my head. "Let's not let Aaron the Abuser ruin what could be a perfect day."

He nods before sitting beside me on the berth. "Gestalts are really simple to understand once you know the basics." He sighs. "I know you've researched our kind. What have you learned so far?"

I rub the back of my neck. "First off, I really hate the 'con ones…" I shudder. "Devastator. Is. Creepy."

"Besides that."

"I heard that there's never only one survivor."

He nods. "We usually go all at once." He sighs. "We were separated for several vorns when we were younger. We'd—Wheeljack, Ratchet, and I—really thought they were off-line."

"So you're the exception…"

He sighs. "Determination. It's the only way to survive alone. Even then, I only held on because they'd told me to…"

I squeeze one of his fingers. "It's all right. They're back now."

"I know." He looks down at me. "I knew this wouldn't be easy, Mari, but you need to know what you're getting into." He sighs. "As you mentioned yesterday, there's not much secrets, though I'm able to block more off because of my position as a medic."

"Confidentiality."

"Right." He smiles. "The bonds are a two-way street. They'll be able to sense you, same as you'll be able to sense them. That means pain and illness as well as thoughts and feelings."

"If one gets sick, they all do, right?"

"Yep, and that goes for crashing too." He turns to me. "And don't get me started about what would happen if one of us were to carry…"

I hold up a hand. "Don't." I make a face. "I get the picture, and I'd like to keep my breakfast where it belongs."

"Squeamish?"

"Sort of… Sometimes… It's been a while since I've had to deal with that kind of thing." I look at my hands. "I'm a little nervous about the EMT thing, because I know Chicago's dangerous, which means worse EMS calls, and more…" I shudder, and make a face. "Ugh." I sigh. "I don't know if it's the body fluids, or the patient's pain, that's the worst part." I shrug. "I may be autistic, but not all of them lack empathy—it just slams into them like heavy metal does with a baby."

He looks down at me. "Selfishness would be a survival instinct, not a purposeful act." I blink up at him. "Silverbolt. The day my sensory grid came back on-line… We were sharing quarters, and he had to snap at his brothers to get them to listen."

"Let me guess. Too loud, and you over-reacted."

He nods, smiling slightly. "I ran. Tore out an energon IV line and knocked the stand on top of my brothers… Scared everyone into following me… caused everyone to purge when it got to be too much for me…"

I scoff lightly. "Sounds like fun."

"Yeah… It wasn't an enjoyable experience, but it was a helpful one when it came to patients."

"Guess I need to work a little more on strengthening myself against suffering—not to weaken my compassion, but to balance my compassion for patients with my ability to stomach what's wrong with them." I shrug when he gives me a look. "Can't go making the rest of you sick if I can't handle a call."

"We wouldn't blame you if it did happen. Groove, at least, would hold his own either way, and I've handled worse in the med-bay. Street would understand you more, and Spot and Blades are kind of in the middle." He sighs. "Now, how 'bout you try getting to robot form?"

I nod, and slide down his leg before looking up to him from the floor. "How?" I listen closely to his explanation before following them. When I look down, I'm about the same size as Aid, but feminine, with a light pink frame, and doorwings. I look down at my hands, turning them over. They look almost like Ratchet's—silver, with pink fingers instead his green. I smile over at Aid. "Well?"

He steps closer and looks me over. "A Praxian frame… Medic details…" He snags a doorwing, causing me to cringe.

"Ow…"

"I'm sorry." He sighs. "I need to check the sensors. I'm almost done." He smiles at me. "Everything checks out. Want me to take you back inside so you can see it?"

I nod. "And… Could you explain the whole "bond" thing?"

"That…" He rubs the back of his neck. "Would be the awkwardness you were trying to avoid." He sighs. "But there's a certain way to go about it, just like there is when one takes in a minicon, and it won't create a second spark." He sighs. "Then we'd have to figure out where you'd go if we combined." He looks me over again. "Though, with your frame being similar to my own—mine without the doorwings—I'd assume we'd switch out. If I was needed in medical, or we needed to protect you… Either one of us could take the left side."

"So long as I wasn't a foot." I cringe. "Just the thought makes my nerves act up…"

"So that's why you were doing that…" I give him a look. "Your foot. You almost put it under my armor during the night."

I rub the back of my neck. "Sorry…" I shrug. "Though I did warn you about the RSD. I never realized I'd do that in my sleep…"

"RSD*?"

"Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy. It's a nerve disorder. I've been coping all right, but… the doctors said it was in my back too…"

He sighs before grabbing a scanner and running it over my back, then scans the rest of me once I sit down. "I'm picking up damaged sensors in your wrists and your foot, but your back was just Praxian sensitivity." I raise an eyebrow. "Simply put, your spine and shoulders were trying to compensate for your missing appendages, and probably have been since you were born."

"That sounds about right."

He nods. "All right, let's get you inside so you can see your frame." I step over to the door only to squint over the mostly cloudy, but still too bright sky. 'Come on, eyes, not now!'

I feel a hand on my shoulder. "You okay?" I shake my head and point to the door before covering my eyes. "Oh!" He closes it before turning to me, slipping his visor off as he does. "Try this."

"But—"

"I'll make you one if it helps. It won't take more than ten minutes."

I shrug before slipping it on, then nod. "Better than my sunglasses were."

"Good." He slips it back on before gathering a few things, and soon hands me an almost identical visor. "Keep it on you. I can't keep taking mine off." He sighs. "Sorry if that sounded rude, but…" He rubs the back of his neck.

I shake my head. "You're fine. I saw how you were squinting when you took it off. You need to keep that on." I shrug. "I've had optical sensitivity for a long time, Aid. Goes along with my own hyper-awareness. I know how it feels."

"What?"

I shrug. "Between ADHD, Asperger's, and PTSD, I'm over-stimulated, and in sensory overload almost constantly…" I rub the back of my neck. "Don't tell Spot."

"Why not?"

I shrug. "Because it's not too bad most of the time, and Spot knows I have sensory issues, and how to tell when it's bad. I don't want you guys thinking you have to tip-toe around me constantly." I sigh softly. "Now that I think about it, that may be why I need cuddles so much…" Aid gives me a look. "I'm comforted by touch, and constantly over-stimulated and stressed from the overload of detail and information. I've had to use music in the past, and I still pick up too much to be good for me. Little details about cartoon characters that mean absolutely nothing in the whole scheme of things, and I can't get them out of my mind!" I sigh softly. "Like Wave's eyes in Today and Forever, or Robin's vest in Performance… A flower pattern in tulle… Alvin's thumb in AATC…" I shake my head. "How does Street do it?" Aid gives me a confused look. "How does Streets stay so hyper-aware without being so stressed out?"

"You'd have to ask him."


We step inside together. "You two almost look like twins."

"Hi, Streets." I glance over to see everyone in the living room. "Hey, guys…no work today?"

Hot Spot shakes his head before stepping over to us. "Is she ready, or…"

I smile. "As I'll ever be…" I sigh. "Can I find a mirror first, though?"


I turn to one side. "Wow…"

"You like it?"

Now that I can see myself, I can see more of what my head looks like. I have a red chevron, and red details on my sides, which I hadn't noticed out in the medical bay. The visor blends great—which is both good, and hard to believe—I didn't know Aid had the right colors in the medbay to match my frame when I just reached it today. "Better than I imagined…" I shift, trying to get a better view of my doorwings. "Definitely better than what I'd imagined." I'd been picturing something like Sari Sumdac on TFA, not my being the same size and frame type as Aid, with doorwings and a chevron being the only differences.

"Spot went back down to get the others. We're ready when you are."

I nod. "Looking forward to training with you, and my EMS class…" I sigh softly. "Maybe target practice, so long as it's only wood or metal, or hay…"

"You don't want to fight?"

I turn to the medic. "I love guns, so long as they're not pointing at a living being, or something mimicking life. It's the shoot-to-kill part of fighting I don't like." I rub the back of my neck. "But I have to be ready, in case you're in danger. I have to be able to fight back." I sigh softly. "I'm a lover, Aid, not a fighter; but I'll fight for what I love, and I love you guys. If you're ever in any danger, don't doubt that I'd shoot that gun, if only to get you to safety." I rub the back of my neck. "Not sure I'd be able to walk away without trying to save the person after, though…" I sigh. "Wow, this is an upsetting topic."

He nods. "Let's go find Spot before you get yourself worked up." I give him a look. "It'll be easier and safer if you're not near a meltdown."

"Ah…" I nod. "Awkward enough if I'm not in tears."

He sighs. "And just plain sad if you are."


We step back into the largest berth room before stepping over to Hot Spot. I look up to him—he's still taller than me, but not as much as he had been—and nod. "Let's do this."

Aid sits beside me. "I'm right here. I'll talk you through it…"

"Aid… I-I—"

He sighs softly before putting an arm around me. "It's a deep merge, but we know what we're doing. We won't hurt you."

"I-I'm not scared you'll hurt me… I'm just…" I sigh softly. "I've never—" I shake my head. "I guess I'm just nervous. I know it can't be undone, if things don't work out…"

I feel a hand on my shoulder, and look up to find Spot smiling down at me. "We wouldn't have gone through with all this if we thought it wouldn't work out." He sits beside me. "We don't have to do it now, if you're not ready."

"I want to…really…" I sigh heavily. "It's just… I know that a Cybertronian's spark is their very soul, and… I'm still a little unsure about this "merging" thing. I know it's not—that you're not going to do anything to hurt me, but…"

Aid sighs softly. "Want me to walk you through it?"

I blink slightly. "Could you?"

He nods. "We'll have you open your chest plating, then, one at a time, we'll merge. Spot would start, since he's the oldest, and our commander. Then Groove, then Street, then me, and Blades last. It should take anywhere from five to ten minutes each." He squeezes my hand lightly. "Combiners have the strongest sibling bonds possible, so it'll be intense, but I promise, we won't hurt you."

"Feel better about it now, or do you want to wait?"

I sigh, and shake my head. "I'm ready now…"


Half an Hour Later

I sit on the edge of the bed and rest a hand over my now-closed plating. Silence isn't so… silent, now. 'I wonder if this is how Mako felt…'

~Who's Mako?~

~Sorry. I was just thinking…~ I smile at him. ~She's a character in Pacific Rim. She had her first drift during the movie, and it's like… Well, like this.~

~Do you still have the movie?~

~It's with my things, so it'll be here sometime today or tomorrow. I'll play it for you then…~ I blink. ~Well, maybe not Aid. A lot of death…and a lot of trauma.~

~I can handle it. It's just a movie.~

~Aid, I couldn't handle it one time.~

~What part upset you?~

~Their first drift together—Raleigh's ghost drifts pulled him out of phase, then Mako got caught in a memory, and almost shot Cherno's pilots with a—~

~Mari?~

~I'm fine. With a plasma cannon. It reminded me of my Transformers movies, which made me think of Megatron, which reminded me of Optimus dying, then Ratchet saving him, then Lockdown…~

~Sounds like you got caught in one too…~

I shrug. ~Several, actually. I'm just glad I can pull myself out of it if I have my music.~

~You keep it with you, right?~

~It's on my phone, Groove. I never leave home without it.~ I sigh heavily. ~But it dies on me sometimes, so I'm kind of sunk then.~ I rub the back of my neck. ~And I hate crowds, so it's kind of lose-lose then…~

~If that happens, we'll be here.~

I smile up at him. ~Thanks, Spot.~ I suddenly grin. ~Hey. This will help when I have my non-verbal moments.~

~Excuse me?~

~It's not that I can't talk then, but that I don't want to. If I'm really upset, or tired, or Ratchet-level cranky, I won't feel like talking. If I'm forced to, then we have a problem.~ I shrug. ~This bond, will help. I can talk about what's upsetting me without needing to talk.~

~Then we'll be here when you need us.~

~Anything else we'll need to know?~

I nod as we start down the stairs. ~I get carsick sometimes.~ I shrug at their looks. ~It's a sensory issue, guys. I can't help it. Usually, it's because I'm doing too much, or thinking too much, while I'm riding. I could take something, but it causes drowsiness, and that may affect the rest of you.~

~I'd rather be tired than nauseous.~

~Nauseated, not nauseous, and same here.~

~What?~

~Nauseated means you're about to purge, nauseous means you'll make someone else purge.~ I shrug. ~Same diff in a gestalt, but…~

~You're worse than Street!~

~I am not!~ I cross my arms and glare at Blades. ~Just because I know things, and like to show it off, doesn't mean I'm as "bad" as someone else.~ I shrug. ~I just love facts.~

~Good to know. Maybe you could—~

~I'd gladly help any of you with anything.~ I smile. ~I've got a lot of information on my computer, Street, and I'm always looking for more because of my stories. How-to pages… Movie and TV show information… Stuff about my condition and other issues…~ I grin. ~Even Cybertron and her people.~

~What about that rescue show you were telling Spot and I about?~

I smile. ~Yep! Character bios and everything.~ I scowl suddenly. ~I hate High Tide!~

~Who?~

~And what, while we're asking?~

~Rescue Bots, one of my favorite Transformers TV series. They're based off you all, without the combining, and…~ I sigh heavily. ~God, I miss it…~ I shake my head. ~And High Tide's one of the later additions. He came in at a time when they really needed a "mega-bot".~

~A what?~

~A bot the size of Defensor. He came for water rescue training, and ultimately helped them re-cap an oil well when an undersea earthquake caused the old cap to break off. Primus, that mech was so—~ I growl. ~Frustrating! I hated that guy!~

~What about the others?~

I grin in Blades' general direction. I can't help it. ~Heatwave—a fire-bot and the leader, Chase—he's an enforcer, and kind of like Prowl, as well as being the closest thing they have to a Second in Command. Boulder—he's a bulldozer, and he loves everything about Earth.~ I smirk. ~And Blades…~ I stare off in the distance, thoughtfully. ~That mech put him on my overall favorites list for good. Primus… They're so different…~

~How?~

~Not a brawler, for starters. He's timid half the time, a hotshot when he's not, and always as caring as Aid.~ I sigh softly. ~I could probably count on one hand the reckless things he's done…~

~Well?~

~There was the shark sub he carried out to sea and got hooked on his winch… Going to blow up a meteor with Bumblebee when it had been proven that a virus-causing toxin was on it… Flying through ash after helping erupt a fake volcano, just because Cody was in danger… Grabbing a boulder the size of a house with a scoop claw before testing the thing…~ I blink. ~Those were just in season one. Holy cow.~

~After that?~

I shrug. ~Got jealous of Dani, had a few hotshot moments, nothing really reckless.~ I rub the back of my neck. ~Used his rotors as a snow blower in season three…~

~What happened with the meteor?~

~He and Bee contracted the virus, of course. Bee had gotten a sample, Graham used their tech and found the cure on the Sigma. All was well that ended well.~ I sigh softly. ~Three of them wound up shrunk once, and Chase seemed kind of lost, but they never showed why he would.~ I quiet down for a moment. "God, I miss that series…"

"Why?"

I glance over to Blades. "Because, they're on hiatus. I still haven't been able to learn when it's gonna start back up again, but I really wanna see it again."


* Also known as CRPS, or Complex Regional Pain Syndrome…