Chapter 12
Hey y'all! I come begging for forgiveness on my hands and knees! I am SO sorry I haven't posted in a while. It's been a hell of a month and I never wrote anything that I liked enough to post. I'm not even sure I'm in love with this chapter, but…here it is. You're reviews are literally what keeps me going. I'm thankful for the people who consistently review and for so many amazing comments. You guys are literally the best and I promise I will try to be more consistent. Continue!
Sheldon clogged into his room, massaging the lump of tension that was assaulting his neck. He placed a bowl of popcorn on the foot of the bed and sat beside it reaching for a game console. The pixelated screen and the bouncy tune of Super Mario Bros. expelled a rush of nostalgia and or a moment he forgot about his looming problem.
Run, run, run, jump! His right thumb grazed over the button to jump but he never pressed it. His thoughts shifted to the way Amy's skin felt when he grazed her cheek.
Hits barrier. Start over.
Run, run, run, jump, cliff! His left thumb rotated the joystick in the same circular motion he rubbed Amy's back hours before.
Falls off cliff. Start over.
Sheldon had never failed to finish level 1 of Super Mario Bros. Ever since he received the game he could advance to level 5 with no hesitation. He threw his head back, feeling the sensation of tension resurfacing, the console teetered in his palms the same way he wanted Amy's hands to rest in his.
Mocking him, the losing tune of the game played like an annoying earworm.
Like Sisyphus, I am doomed to hell. I blame Amy!
His organized mind was quickly becoming cluttered with hormonal baggage. And Amy had only been here for 4 weeks. Women are truly sirens and he, like a fool, fell prey to her trap.
He felt stupid, confused, and cold, unlike the warmth he felt hugged against Amy's back. That was before he had to snatch himself away when her mother interrupted.
Ugh! Her mother. He thought his mother was…'special' but Amy's mother was so...'special' she belonged in an exhibit at the county rodeo.
'Come one, come all to see the unrelenting, nagging, accusing mother, Barbara Fowler. Just picture her; beady eyes, thin lips, sunken cheeks, and a soul so cold it makes ice look hot. THE HORROR! Don't get too close or she will lock you in...THE SIN CLOSET'
Sheldon grinned at his personal joke, but a knot in his chest prevented him from enjoying it. It was 7:15pm and Amy hadn't called at 7:00pm like she usually does. Perhaps she was locked in the sin closet. She did warn him that if her mother caught a boy in her room she would be locked in there forever. This was all his fault. Or maybe she just hated him for walking out on her after her mother accused him of not caring. Also his fault. He physically shook the idea from his head and stuck his hand into the bowl of popcorn, returning to the game.
"Sheldon?" A weak voice came from the window. He froze and tried to remain as silent as possible but the popcorn in his mouth sounded like fireworks as he chewed. "Sheldon?" The whisper blew past again. This time accompanied with a loud thud of a rock. He jumped and the bowl flew from his lap hurling kernels and popcorn in every direction. The console was somehow tossed toward the TV screen while Sheldon threw himself to the far side of his bed.
Get yourself together, Cooper.
It's probably Missy needing to sneak back in after a night of God knows what; probably drunk, probably loud, definitely with a guy.
"Not this time, Missy!" He threw a handful of popcorn at the window.
No response.
Or maybe it isn't Missy at all and it is a criminal trying to kidnap him, or kill him, or worse...steal his Nintendo.
"Go away!" Sheldon grabbed the lightsaber he had resting next to his bed as a weapon.
"Sheldon, it's me!" The voice came muffled from the window.
"Me who?"
"Amy."
He hurdled over the bed and ran to the window noticing Amy standing just beyond the shrubs. She looked different; feeble and small. The oversized men's jacket cocooned her while the hood shadowed her entire face.
"Amy?" He wiped the dew from the window. She finally looked up and her face was burning red, the green of her eyes looked dull and tired. God, did he want to run his hand down her cheek and wipe the pain away from her face. But the window lock prevented him from doing so, he fumbled and pulled but it was impenetrable. The longer he rattled with the lock the more anxious he got, he pointed toward the front and bolted through the house to meet her before anyone saw. He snatched open the front door and the moment the cool wind hit him, his energy went with it.
Amy was sitting close to the street, her head resting in the grass while her limbs were stretched out. Chills went down his back and his legs felt like sinking cement and feathers at the same time. Why was he nervous? This was Amy, in the past month he had talked to her more than he had talked to himself, and he loved talking to himself. She must have heard him shuffling through the grass when she sat up holding her knees into her chest.
"We have to stop meeting like this." Sheldon said, hovering over her back. The moment the last word crossed his lips he regretted saying it. He'd heard Clark Kent say it to Lois Lane and she seemed smitten by it and laughed, he expected to have the same reaction with Amy. But watching her unmoving frame and hearing the ear shattering silence he knew he didn't have the same results. "I- uh, I mean because this is the same place we were when I found you after pr-" Was prom night really an ideal event to bring up during this situation? "Well, I guess it's not the same exact place, you were a little closer to the street and I was standing further over there. Plus you had on this huge and noisy blue dress, I actually thought it was a trash bag from all the noise it was making in the wind but…" Amy slowly turned toward him, her face screamed 'what the hell!" No, prom night was not an ideal event to bring up during this situation. "I'm sorry that I uh walked out on you, well not you, I was just- I don't function well during family disputes. My go to reaction is to leave. When I was 8 my dad-"
"Sheldon?" Amy said.
"Yes?"
"Stop talking."
"Happily." Sheldon said.
The crickets chirped. The wind howled. Silence.
"Sheldon?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you for comforting me."
"No problem."
The trees creaked. The moon glowed. Silence.
"Sheldon?"
"Yes?"
"Thank you for kissing me."
"You're welcome."
Sheldon sat. Amy stirred. Silence.
"Sheldon?"
"Yes?"
"Do you love me?"
His face completely distorted. She was joking! She had to have been joking, he needed her to be joking. But the look in her searching eyes said otherwise. She was screaming for him to say he loved her. He saw her hold her breath awaiting his answer, but he couldn't give one.
"I-you...we were just- I mean I-I…" He scrambled to his feet, watching her head follow him as he ran into the house. He wasn't sure what happened next. Did she yell after him? Or at him? Did she leave? Or stay out there all night?
"No, no, no" Sheldon roared as he stomped in circles around the kitchen.
"Shelly?" What's wrong sweetie?" His mother rushed in hearing the commotion.
"This wasn't supposed to happen. We got too close. I knew we shouldn't have started that agreement in the first place. Now look, it's ruined."
"What's ruined baby?" The last thing he needed was another woman trying to talk about feelings. He headed toward his room, or anywhere else but his mother followed steps behind.
"Our friendship!"
"What do you mean, you two spend every minute together these days. So much so I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks." She ran her hand through his hair the way mothers love to play in their children's hair "When did your hair get this long anyway?" He snatched himself from her touch and crossed his arms.
"She asked me if I loved her." He growled.
"I see. And what did you say back?"
"What do you mean what did I say back? Nothing! I ran. How could she even ask me something like that? How could she think that? We were...we were just supposed to be friends, nothing more."
"You are right, Sheldon. That was a tough question to answer." He relaxed when she agreed with him. "But baby, you have to admit that you really have come to like her."
"Of course, I have to like her. I'm contractually obligated to like her."
"So calling her every night and walking her home and standing up for her in class is all in your little contract?" Curse Missy and her big mouth! "You care about her, Sheldon. It's okay. It's okay to tell her, I'm guessing she feels the same about you."
"I don't like her."
"Okay." She didn't believe him.
"I don't!"
"Okay." He didn't believe himself. "So what are you going to do?"
"I'm gonna tell her" Her puffed his chest out, "that she is just being a ridiculous, homormal, hippie-dippie woman that should not clutter my perfectly organized mind with meaningless emotions such as love."
"Okay. So what are you actually gonna do?"
"I'm going to lock myself in my room until the zombie apocalypse comes and kills us all!"
"So what do you think I'm going to tell you to do?"
His shoulders fell, "Talk to her?"
"Take your coat!"
"Hi" Sheldon walked to the same spot he was a few minutes ago. He was actually surprised that Amy had stayed. He was actually hoping she had left.
"Hello"
"May I sit?"
"Sure."
He sat. He noticed how wet the grass felt under his pants, how loud the bugs roared in the background, how rosy her cheeks were, how her hair curtained around her face, how her eyes were like the ocean; a tropical ocean, the ones with colorful fish and clear water.
"Who's jacket are you wearing?"
"My Dads."
He noticed how cheap the jacket was, probably purchased at Walmart or a truck stop. He noticed how there were small holes in the lining of the jacket and the frayed edges around the collar and the cuffs."
"It's nice"
She played with a loose string. "Thanks." She shivered and placed her land in her lap. Her fingertips were red but her palms were stark white.
"Are you cold?"
"A little." Amy said. "You okay?"
"Yes"
"Did what I said upset you?"
"Amy."
"Yes."
"I don't function well with emotion. I am most comfortable with facts and logic."
"Okay." She was searching for what to say next, "Let's conduct an experiment."
He nodded
"A series of questions that can be gathered to make an educated guess."
"Of course."
"What does love feel like?"
A knot caught in his throat.
"I-i thought we said no emotion."
"Okay. When I call you, what do you feel?"
"I feel excited to engage in an academic discussion with a pier."
"When we speak, what do you feel?"
"I feel intellectually stimulated."
"When I look in your eyes, what do you feel?"
"I feel like I can't breathe, my arms begin to sweat, and my mouth dries."
"When I grab your hand," She placed her hand on top of his "what do you feel?"
"I feel like I'm being electrocuted." She pulled her hand away. "Like every cell in my body can feel your touch."
"When I am close to you," She edged closer, the bottom of her jacket tickled his lap. "what do you feel?"
"Like we're magnets."
"When I kiss you," She leaned in. Her lips were inches from his. He could feel her shaky breath on his mouth. She pressed her lips to his. He leaned in against her and placed his hands on top of hers. "I'll ask again, what does love feel like?"
"It feels like this."
Sheldon licked his lips, focused his attention to her mouth and leaned in again.
"I don't think my Dad knew what love felt like." He stopped at Amy's sudden comment. "I know my mom doesn't know what love feels like. And I was afraid I wouldn't know what love felt like either."
"And now?"
"And now, I'm not afraid anymore."
They kiss.
