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Last finished chapter...


~Bonds, Hot Spot~

~Bonds, Blades~

~Bonds, First Aid~

~Bonds, Groove~

~Bonds, Streetwise~

~Bonds, Marianne/Mariposa~

"Normal"

'Thoughts'

"Comms or phone, other side"

"Bumblebee, Tones"

"Bumblebee, Comms"

"Bumblebee, Radio"


Bringing Ratchet Online

As soon as we're finished with our morning energon—from the heart-shaped bowls, of course—Aid takes me out to the medical bay and motions for me to sit on the berth while he gets a scanner. After not finding any new damage, he huffs softly before searching around for something he can use to make a soft brace.

He returns within a few minutes with what looks like a rubber version of a human's shape wear. "Aid…"

"I saw the braces you'd been using…I just assumed…" He sighs softly. "Did I—"

I shake my head before taking it from him to get a better look at it. "It just looked weird to me at first…"

"The ones you use in your human form looked painful…and you said it was your wrist…"

"They are, and it is." I shrug and set the black ring on the berth. "I usually had to cushion the spots between my fingers with band-aids. It was annoying, and they pulled some of my skin off if I had to wear it for more than a few days—the band-aids, not the braces—but the elastic Velcro stuff at the wrist is amazing at supporting my wrist while still allowing me to move it."

"Then we'll see how this works…" He slips it on my right wrist. "If it doesn't help, then we'll try something else." He sighs heavily. "How's your foot been? I've been trying to make something you can use for it…"

I smile gently. "It's all right for now, Aid. I'll let you guys know if it starts acting up." I glance out the window. "I'm surprised it's doing so good, actually, with all the snow outside…"

"Snow makes it worse?"

"Cold makes it worse." I smile. "But it's been fine so far—achy, but that's normal, so I'm not going to mention it to Spot. No temperature changes means no flares, and I can handle the minor aches for now. I'll let Spot know if it gets worse." I shrug at the skeptical look I'm getting from the gentle medic. "I live in pain, Aid. There's no reason to worry Spot if it's not severe. So long as I can walk without a brace in place, I'll be fine." I stand and walk over to the berth Ratchet's frame is on and start glancing over it. "We need to finish with Ratchet."


10:00 am

I glance over Ratchet's frame for any sign that he had been attacked. When I find none, I smile at Aid before turning to help him put the tools away. Once everything's put away, I turn back to the berth with a nervous sigh. "Moment of truth…"

"Mari?"

I shake my head. "I'm just nervous, Aid."

"Want me to get Spot?"

I shake my head. "I got it, Aid." I smile over at him. ~Spot?~

~You're ready?~

~Yeah…~

~We're on our way. What's wrong?~

~Nerves…~

~You don't lie well…~

~I know. Autism… Most times I love it, but now…~

~Mari… Tell me…~

~Spot…~

~He won't be mad if you do, and you'll feel better.~

~It's about the RSD…~ I sigh over the bond. ~I'm in constant pain, but it's not too severe most of the time, so I usually don't bother telling anyone unless it gets bad and I can't do much. Of course, it has to be on the days when I really want to be active. Too much sitting bugs me.~

~But you're always—~

~Not inactive. My hands and mind are always moving—the latter, really fast. I almost can't keep up with it!~

~Why didn't you tell us earlier?~

~I told you I had it, I just didn't tell you the symptoms. During a flare, mine is usually ice cold to the touch, but it could be really hot too. Every descriptive word out there for pain applies to it, too… It's not fun, Guys, but I've learned to live with it. Aid's seen me on one of my not-so-good-but-not-severe days, when he took me into town…~

"You never told me you were hurting!"

I shrug to the medic as the others walk in and close the door. "I'm always hurting, some days are just better than others. I've been on the edge of a flare for the last month—before I got out here."

"Why did you keep that from us?"

"I didn't want to worry you. Chronic pain is…well, chronic, Spot, and there's nothing you can do about it, so there's no reason to tell you when all it will do is make you feel helpless. I don't use prescription painkillers unless it's severe, and even then, I won't touch them without prodding. I rarely take anything for it—because I rarely need anything for it." I hug the fire-bot before smiling up at him. "I may be like Aid, but for the last eight years, I've been alone with the pain, and I'm used to it now. There's nothing anyone can do, and I've been addicted to Lyrica twice, so I'm not taking that again."

Aid turns to me. "What's Lyrica?"

"So far as I know, it's a medication given for chronic nerve disorders, to help the nerves fire less so you're not in as much pain. It's easy to get hooked on it, though, so I quit taking it." I shrug. "It may be best for us to look it up later…"

~You didn't have any problems getting off it, right?~

I shake my head before hugging the medic. ~Didn't even notice the symptoms the first time… You witnessed the second time without knowing…~

~We WHAT!?~

I hold my hands up in front of me. ~I wasn't a part of you then, and I left them at home!~

Aid sighs. "Why didn't you just get another prescription?"

"Because, it was doing nothing for me, save leaving me addicted. I left it behind on purpose, Aid."

"Doesn't withdrawal last for at least two weeks?"

I close my eyes and look at my feet. "…Yeah…It's my first day, where I feel okay…"

Aid sighs. "We're really sorry you had to go through it alone…"

Spot lays a hand on my shoulder. "We never noticed…"

"Insomnia—usually have that one—was eased by sleeping on Spot the second week, and I don't usually sleep much anyway. Digestive issues—"

"I've noticed that one…"

"Weren't serious, Aid. I don't eat much normally—and I don't usually have a lot of variety either." I rub the back of my neck. "I'm usually as active as Spot—at least in my mind, if not in reality, so not being able to concentrate was a big issue." I shrug. "Nothing serious, though—no seizures—it's used to treat some types, Aid—no trouble breathing that wasn't connected to asthma, and no suicidal thinking."

"But you—"

"That was get-me-out-of-here-before-he-kills-me, Groove, not I-want-to-die, because I want to live, Damnit!" I shrug. "Besides, I took my last one before I left the house. I wasn't withdrawing from it then…just terrified, and wanting to be safe." I glance to Ratchet's still-off-line frame with a sigh. "We need to bring Ratchet back…"

"Don't change the subject!"

"Blades, don't harass her." Spot sighs heavily. "Is there anything else you haven't mentioned?"

I rub the back of my neck. "I'm still dealing with tension headaches and dizzy spells, though I'm in a point where it's not so bad."

"What causes them?"

I turn to Aid. "Anxiety and stress…reverse order. It ties in with my trauma." I sigh. "I haven't had a panic attack since moments before I found out who was pushing on my car, I haven't had a really bad headache since the night before we first merged… I'm okay now. Ratchet's the one who needs us…"

"Mari… Did we cause that?"

"Anxiety over believing I was about to be kicked out caused it, not you all personally." I hug the fire-bot before smiling up at him. "I was fine by morning…" I sigh softly. "Well, at least I was before I bumped it on Aid's hands… That hurt for a little while." Aid opens his mouth. "Not your fault, Aid. I did it, not you." I sigh softly. ~Whelp, here goes nothing…~ I step over to Ratchet's frame and hold my hands together and close my eyes, then take a deep, calming breath, as I've done hundreds of times in my fantasy world. Unlike all those times, my hands become covered in an azure blue flame, the calming effect easing any remaining anxiety over reviving the older medic.

I lay my flaming hands around Ratchet's spark chamber, and hold them there. I know this isn't going to be easy, but I'm willing to give my life for him, if that's what it takes. My arms start shaking, and my brothers step over to try and pull me off before I hurt myself, but I refuse to let go. There's something more powerful than even determination powering me right now: love for my brothers, love for the Autobots… Love for the medic under my hands.

After a full minute, I let the fire fade out and step back. My ears start ringing, and I can feel myself fading, but not even the willpower of a Green Lantern can keep me conscious.


Third POV

"MARI!" Hot Spot dives forward and barely manages to catch his youngest sibling as she plummets to the cement floor. Once he's sure she's safe, he lays her on the ground. "Aid…"

First Aid kneels to his sister and starts checking vitals and examining her as the medic on the berth stands unnoticed behind him. "I think she just exhausted her reserves, but I can't be sure."

The femme on the ground groans softly, seemingly coming to.


Normal POV

My audios are the first to come back. "Mariposa!"

"For the love of Primus, Hot Spot, back up so I can examine her!"

'That voice… I know that voice…' My eyes flutter open, revealing my brothers crowded around me, all with worried looks… And Ratchet hovering over me, his expression unreadable—of course, that's coming from someone with Autism.

"Welcome back to the land of the on-line." He leans back before sighing. "Help her onto the berth so I can make sure she didn't hurt herself."

Groove and Streetwise help me up, and, though I don't need it, help me to the berth. "Thanks, Guys…" I smirk at the returned CMO. "One, I'm fine. I just pushed myself too hard. Two, I should be saying that to you."

He starts scanning me with a built-in scanner. "While I am glad to be back, and grateful to you for bringing me back, I do not think untrained medics should be reviving mechs when their stress levels are through the roof!"

"Mari?"

I shake my head. "Normal levels for me, Guys…"

"Explain."

I turn to Ratchet with a sigh. "One: I'm not good with strangers. Two: I only got here two weeks ago, and I've only known I was Cybertronian and been a Protectobot for one of the two. I'm taking an EMS class, which is really stressful, and I'm training to be a Cybertronian field medic, which is equally stressful—both are a lot of fun, though." I sigh softly. "I broke a promise to myself barely three and a half days ago, I am Autistic, and I have PTSD." I take a deep breath. "Besides all that, I just got done telling my brothers I went through withdrawal under their noses without them knowing."

"You did WHAT!?"

I give the nearly irate newly-revived medic an emotionless look. "I got off a medication I had a script for, but was addicted to, cold turkey, by leaving the meds back at my old house. I have been clean for two weeks, and am mostly, if not completely, through the process, with no assistance from any medical professional, human or Cybertronian."

"Aid…" Ratchet sighs. "I assume you have been training her, since I was off-line?"

"Yes, Sir." He smiles brightly at me. "She's done really well, too." He steps over and sits beside me before running through what he's taught me so far, then nods to Ratchet. "She's fine, but you haven't been checked yet."

"I am functional, First Aid. You did well in repairs—"

"I only repaired your leg and put a new spark chamber in so Mari wouldn't have to see you without it."

"Aid… Tell me you did not allow a newspark medic assist in repairs at barely a joor old?"

I glare up at him with my arms crossed. "I'm 23, Mister." I scoff. "'M not a week old…"

Ratchet leans over to me before continuing more gently than he had been with Aid. "Objectively, your frame is only a week old, and your spark is not even a vorn of age, making you a newspark in an adult frame, same as the Protectobots were."

"Either way, I chose to start my medical training now, and I love it, so you're not making me quit." I smile. "I helped with yearly medical exams too, and I've read through the same medical texts as Aid."

Ratchet sighs heavily. "You can continue training, but I will be the one to teach you." He glances to where my brothers are standing to find one of the three missing. "Where did Groove go?"

I smile up at him, letting my childish side out now that we've gotten through the necessary exams. "Inside. He's feeding Jaspie."

"Jaspie?"

Aid sighs. "Jasper, actually."

Spot steps over. "She's an abandoned kitten Mari took in three days ago. We've all been helping raise her, so Mari doesn't stress herself out over an organic newspark."

Streetwise sighs. "She's still recovering from a life of abuse, and she's got PTSD from it."

Blades crosses his arms. "We already almost lost her once because of the damage her human family caused."

Ratchet looks from them to Aid and I. "Damage?"

I shrug. "Emotional damage, not physical damage."

Groove steps in with Jaspie and her bottle, both so tiny in the protectobot's hand, that they're almost unnoticeable, and the way he's holding his hands is kinda funny. Aid sighs. "She almost went into processor lock within three hours of merging with us, because her biological father made her feed a litter of baby rabbits to a cat, and talking about Lockdown caused a severe flashback."

"She was forced to kill…" Ratchet turns to Aid with a soft sigh. "Sounds familiar…"

Aid sighs heavily. "Spot gave her the same talk he gave me, but she still insists on weapons training."

"I have to defend you five. You's all I gots…"

Ratchet huffs before turning to Spot. "Does she usually regress like this?"

Aid shrugs. "When she's scared or upset, so she says. We've never actually seen it before now. I think it's connected with her disability, but people with her condition are so different, I can't know for sure."

"I wanna be ready to save them if I have to, even if that's on the battlefield."

"How is she working in Defensor?"

Spot turns to him. "We've only combined with her for a few minutes, but it's a strong connection, and she's fully on our side."

"Mariposa?"

"Mariposa Prime, and I try every day to be like Optimus." He gives me a surprised look. "I fully believe that freedom is everyone's right, and I believe that fighting is only a final option, to be used after every other option is exhausted. That being said, I will protect what I care about, and I prefer that "Till all are one" not be "one with the All Spark", and will do everything in my power to prevent that from happening. After all, I plan to be a medic first, and a soldier second."

"Mariposa Prime? First Aid—"

"She's the Star Healer, Ratchet. We found her…"

"And apparently claimed her." He turns to me. "I assume you have yet to meet Optimus?"

"In person… He's off in space with the seed, but he's on his way back." I look at my lap. "I'm kinda excited, but I'm nervous too. He's my role model, after all…"

He nods. "So the sibling bond between them has yet to develop…" He turns to Hot Spot. "You need to be ready. Once she learns to block her bonds with the five of you, she will when she and Optimus talk. Their conversations will be officers only."

He smiles weakly. "I'll try, Ratchet."

I rush over and hug Spot before looking up to him. "It's all right. I won't block you forever." I nuzzle into his chest. "Needs you…"

"She seems really clingy…" He sighs. "I expect that with a gestalt, but I had assumed you were working with her on distance."

Hot Spot shrugs. "She's good at short term, short distances, but we haven't gone past three hours, or one mile. She prefers to recharge on my chest plates, even in her human form, though I haven't seen it since she started her class…"

Streetwise nods. "We're assuming it comes from her past full of abuse and neglect, but I think she's just naturally cuddly, from some of the things she's said over the bond."

I nod. "Some autistics crave touch, some hate it, cause it hurts. It hurts me sometimes, because I'm really sensitive to touch, but I craved it…" I hold up the rubber-braced wrist as I look up at Ratchet. "Now I haves it."

"Yes, you do." He pats my shoulder. "Groove, get her a cube of low grade."

"I have—"

I smile up at him. "Put Jaspie in her bed an' do it. It's not good for little kittens to be handled so much before their eyes open…"

Aid shrugs to a surprised Ratchet. "She has a lot of compassion for animals and bots especially…" He sighs. "I haven't seen her with humans yet, but I assume I'll see once she starts clinicals in her EMS class…" He shrugs. "She even insisted that she didn't want to train with drones when Hide starts training her…you know, once he's revived…"

"And she will be softer than usual with sparklings and younglings because of her Praxian heritage, even if she was more like Blades."

Hot Spot smirks. "She has her moments, Ratchet."

I nod and grin up at Ratchet. "You hurts my family, I hurts you!"

Ratchet sends me a weak smile. "I need some time to look over the medical files, and, since I am sure you have the other frames in my office, I will need the medical bay to myself for a few hours."