I only own my OCs!
I will not be able to post again for a while, as I am in hiding from my abuser, and I will not have access to wifi constantly. I will post as I can. please enjoy!
Meeting the Aerialbots
I watch my brothers leave before turning to Bluestreak and Smokescreen—Prowl has already gone to his office. "So…"
"Did you know you were going to be Praxian?"
"No. I wanted to be, though." I smile and sit on the couch in the media room before patting the seat beside me.
Bluestreak turns to me after sitting on my left. "How did you meet the Protectobots?"
I look down. "I ran from an abusive family. It started when I was three, picked up at ten, again at seventeen, and by 20 I was calling the police." I sigh heavily. "I don't like thinking about them…"
Smokescreen turns to me from the right. "Why is the government after us?"
I sigh heavier if possible. "The Decepticons destroyed Chicago. I learned of it through movies, but…"
"Can I see it?"
I glance to Bluestreak before nodding. "As long as Blue's not in earshot." I smile. "He can go up to the house and see my cats while we're watching it."
"What if I wanna watch?"
I force myself to keep a neutral expression. "Bluestreak… I don't want you to relive Praxus because of me…not when I relive my abuse in my own dreams."
"Wait… What happened?"
"Think Praxus, Smokey. Blue—think anything but Praxus!"
"Praxus…" He blinks in shock before giving me a horrified expression. "What the frag!?"
I nod sadly. "At least it's rebuilt in the last seven years…" I sigh heavily. "Because trust me, I used to live about an hour or so away from here, and I'm glad they kept it secret! The movies were hard enough on me without seeing it in person."
Bluestreak gives me a confused look. "What happened?"
"The Decepticons happened, Blue. To Chicago. Seven years ago." I sigh heavily. "Blue…I'm trying to protect you here, okay?"
"I know… But I feel like I need to know."
"Sentinel Prime made the government ditch their alliance with the Autobots… Sent them into space on the Xanthium… Starscream blew it up… Then the Decepticons went to Chicago, sealed it off, practically leveled it… Then the Autobots arrived—they'd been hidden and splashed into the Atlantic." I sigh heavily. "We saved the day, but lost the war…" I shake my head at their looks. "Five years later, Chicago's rebuilt, and the Autobots are hunted like criminals alongside the Decepticons. We had to revive Ratchet, Blue… I'm still shaken over that…" I blink as a quote runs through my head unbidden. 'Never is here.' I grab my head with both hands, not wanting to interrupt my brothers' time with their friends.
"Mari?"
"'m fine. This happens sometimes."
"What happens?" Smokescreen lays a hand on my shoulder. "Mari?"
"I told you I had PTSD. I didn't tell you that the last movie made it worse—that watching Ratchet be killed was just as bad as the abuse I suffered growing up." I sigh heavily. "I was alone here for a week—figuratively speaking—before I had the bond with the Protectobots. The day before we formed it… I saw Ratchet's decapitated head under a tarp. It made it all more real to me than ever before… I can't go through that again…I have to keep you guys safe—even if I don't want to fight…I have to…to keep you all safe."
"Primus… You've gone through a lot for us, haven't you?"
I nod, and smile at the white Praxian. "And I'll go through more if it'll keep you all alive." I sigh heavily. "I need to go find my brothers. They've had enough "no sister" time for now."
"You're just a sparkling." I blink at him. "You've only been able to reach this form for a week, right?"
I nod. "Ratchet's already pointed that out to me, Smokey."
"You're already doing so much."
I stand, and move to leave the two to settle in. "I have to—it's the only way to protect you all."
I step into the house at a loud laugh from Hot Spot. Just the sound causes me to smile. 'Good. They're enjoying themselves for once…' I blink. 'Wait, didn't I say Optimus would have Silver with him last week when Spot was down?' I laugh, calling their attention to me.
"What's so funny over there?"
I shake my head. "Just realized I called it again."
"Called what again?" I shake my head, causing the black jet-mech to lean my head up to him. "What did you call?"
The smallest jet-mech scoffs. "And what did you mean "again"?"
I sigh before smiling to show I'm not upset. "I'm hyper-aware—not as much as Streets, but enough to where it assists my sixth sense—psychic for those who are confused. I just remembered that I told Spot you guys would be with Optimus when he was getting mopey last week."
"Come on, Mari."
"Join us."
I smirk before walking over to plop myself unceremoniously on Hot Spot's lap. "So…"
"You already know Silverbolt… So…" He starts pointing in an arc, starting with the shortest one who snarked at me. "That's Slingshot." He moves to the black one. "That's Skydive." The finger moves toward the last two. "Fireflight, and Air Raid." He turns back to the group. "Anyway…" ~You okay? Seemed like you were about to cry while you were gone…~
~Yeah… Just telling the new arrivals what happened here… Ratchet came up, and…~
~We're here, Mari. It's okay. You're not alone anymore.~
~And Ratchet's back.~
~Because of me, Aid. That's not easy on me… I can hear Lockdown's voice in my head sometimes…~ "So… What's going on in here?"
Hot Spot looks down to me with a soft smile. "We were telling them how you came to us."
"Oh…" I sigh heavily. "I really should have thought that through…" I shrug. "Things are better because I didn't, but I still have no idea why I ran to Chicago in the middle of the fragged night, in the middle of the fragged winter."
"She was so scared, when she came to us." Streetwise sighs. "She barely did anything that first week here…"
I sigh. "I went on walks while they were on duty, I made a plan to save Ratchet, walked down to the mall so I could get a couple outfits, and I spent the rest of the time working on stories. I'm a writer." I shrug. "So I wasn't entirely inactive, but there wasn't much I felt safe doing—felt like I had to look over my shoulder everywhere I went but here." I sigh softly. "Then…"
"Then she told me what was really going on—why she was so quiet and secretive… Why she acted so timid and jumpy…" Aid sighs heavily. "She said she'd die for us…willingly…like she wanted to die right there, if it meant we'd be able to be ourselves on this planet."
"You wanted to be like us, from the start…"
I nod. The gestalt team knows about my love of cuddling, and I've tried to slip in where I could, but I'd never risk getting smooshed just to cuddle. "They say lesser beings are afraid of intimacy—"
"Where?"
"Young Justice. Organic version of a gestalt. Other planet in the show." I shrug. "Doesn't matter. They fear it, I crave it." I step over to pick out a bed, leaving the now-confused medic to figure out what I meant. I hate being cryptic, but I'm not out-right asking for him to reformat me into a bot.
"What?"
I glance back to him. "I crave that closeness I see in you and your brothers. I want that, so bad I can taste it." I turn back to the beds before continuing. "I've had to distance myself from my family to survive, when I'm the kind of girl that loves to cuddle, and craves touch—not the bad kind, just to be touched. To be able to reach out, no matter where I am, and know I'm safe, because I can feel someone out there…" I sigh before glancing back to him, wondering if my words confused or upset him. "I just don't think I was supposed to be human, Aid. I'm too different to them. I couldn't even hold a job in a facility based around caring for people!"
I look up to the Aerialbots. "I told him that I craved the closeness others fear…meaning I wanted to be a part of them…"
Aid sighs softly at the memory. "She wanted to feel like she was somebody's world—like she'd never felt before in her life."
I look up to the ambulance beside me with a gentle smile.
"They're kind of over-protective of me at times."
I sigh heavily, almost wishfully. I can't help but be jealous, with the life I've had. "That's not a bad thing, Aid…" I sigh again, the same way. "God, the times I've been hurt or sick, and had to take care of myself because telling someone I didn't feel good meant not being believed, even though I almost never lie. I mean, I know I have allergy issues, and I hurt a lot sometimes because of my nerves, but that doesn't mean I'm faking it for attention! I've told you all before not to pamper me. If I wouldn't do it myself, I wouldn't ask someone else to." I can't hold back the tears. "I cared, so much, but when I couldn't handle it—when my mother was dying, and I couldn't handle watching her fade like I'd had to watch Mam—they said if I ran, I couldn't go back home! As if my compassion for my dying mother was a crime! They—they treated me like I was a criminal, all because I needed things a certain way, and—" I unbuckle, even though we're still driving, and slide down before burying my face into the seat. "A-and a-all I-I wanted w-was to feel that—feel loved and sheltered like that…"
He sighs before looking around. Once he's sure no one's coming, he transforms and cups me in a hand. "It's okay. You're safe now." I can't help but curl into his hand. This is what I've needed when this happens—these meltdowns—and I've been forbidden to run to someone for so long I'd almost forgotten what being comforted was like. "I'll take you back home for now. We can finish your errands once you've had time to calm down."
I sigh before nodding, and curl up in the seat once he transforms back into vehicle mode.
"She was so embarrassed about falling apart on me like that…" I look down at my lap as Aid continues. "She thought we'd turn our backs on her just because she'd gotten a little emotional over her past…"
Hot Spot turns to us from the back door. "What happened?"
I shrug after Aid sets me down. "Meltdown. Hate 'em, can't help 'em. Wish I could, though."
"She ordered what she wanted at the furniture store, and they'll deliver them in a few days."
"Um…"
I look up to the wary fire-bot. "I can put it together myself. I told them to leave them outside the door." I sigh. "The mission?"
"Went fine."
"We put the frames in the medical bay."
I nod. "All right." I sigh heavily. "ETA on Bumblebee and the others?"
"Three hours. Said they needed to drop off the Yeager's first."
"Thanks." I sigh softly before grabbing my computer, then start for the stairs. The room they set up for me happens to be the one with a walk-in closet—of course, they don't really need closets, so it doesn't matter who gets the "master" bedroom. "Guess I'll get out of your metaphorical hair…"
"Why don't you come with me?"
I look up at the medic in shock. No one usually wants me around after I "melt down" on them like I did earlier. "I'll be fine, Aid. Really."
"I mean it." He smiles. "Besides, I may be able to help you with what we talked about."
I smile before running after him. "But I thought—"
"I was too scared to bring it up with Spot at the time."
"Why were you afraid of me?"
I look up at him in shock. "I wasn't afraid of you!"
"But you just said…"
"I meant I was afraid of rejection. I was too scared of being rejected to ask you. I was actually horrified at myself, when I blurted it out later that day."
"Gestalt thing?"
We both look up to see Hot Spot staring at us. "She—"
"I crave the closeness other people fear." I sigh at his confused look. "I was telling Aid about something from a show I used to watch. One episode had an organic gestalt from another planet, and the girl on the team told this kid that lesser being feared intimacy, meaning closeness, because there's no secrets when your very souls combine in Defensor—" I sigh and trace a line on the ground. "I've always known I wanted to be an Autobot, but…" Why the frag is this so hard? "I wanna be a Protectobot, Spot."
"She started telling me about something similar to us that she'd seen in a movie, as an example of her not wanting to bring a lot of emotion into our bond…"
"She was worried she'd mess up our connection if she brought her anger at Lockdown over Ratchet's death into the bond."
Aid shakes his head. "She fell apart on us over it again, too. That was an emotion-heavy day in general…"
Hot Spot gives Silverbolt a sad, almost heartbreaking look. "What happened next…reminded me of when we could have lost Aid…"
"But I'm serious. If that level of emotion is dangerous in a drift, then it would be five times worse to have in a gestalt."
"Drift?"
The samurai glances back to us, but I shake my head, causing him to head inside. "It's off a kaiju movie. Two minds—two humans—combining their minds through a neural drift to operate these 200+ foot robots, to take down the monsters and save humanity. Taking a large amount of negative emotions into the drift means you could latch onto a memory, and you'd fall out of sync, then you couldn't operate the machine, and you'd die. I don't wanna be that to Defensor. I want healing, not vengeance." I whimper softly. "It's just…too real now, Aid. He's gone. He's really gone. We may never get him back!" I fall into the Protectobot's arms, once again a sobbing mess.
"You'll get through this." He sighs. "We both will." He sighs heavily. "It's late. I need to lock up, and you need to eat."
I shake my head. Meltdowns take what little appetite I usually have. "I'm fine."
"Mari, you've barely eaten anything since you got here…"
I look down. "'M jus' not hungry, Aid. I don' wanna force myself to, 'cause I might get sick."
"I couldn't just let her keep going like that—feeling like she had no one to care about her…" Hot Spot sighs. "She hardly even ate to begin with most days, and she was dead-set on going to berth without eating."
Aid sighs. "Thankfully, I managed to talk her into it, and we all met up in the medical bay."
"I didn't want her in the bond at first." Blades chuckles. "Now I know how stupid that was."
'The slow death of the slow dance… Tailspin of a romance… Gotta get back and breathe the old air in…' I sigh softly as I look back up at the group. "I was so sure they were going to kick me out… But instead…" I reach up and wipe a few tears off my face. "Instead, I found my true family…"
"It hasn't been easy since then… We've had a few hiccups, getting her settled in with us… But we wouldn't trade it for the world." I stand and start for a back room. ~Mari?~
~I just need some quiet, Spot. Little too much new-ness…~
~All right. I'll be right here if you need me.~
I step into the peaceful silence of my office and shift down to human form before sitting in my special-order office chair. I open my laptop and start working on a story with some peaceful music playing over the computer's speakers.
I look up when I hear a knock. "Yes?"
A white faceplate peeks around the corner. "Hey. Can I come in?"
I turn around and smile as I try to remember which Aerial this is. "Flight?" He nods. "Yeah, sure. Come on in." I wait until he's settled on the floor before shifting back up to my bot form and sitting in front of him. "Did you need something?"
"Just to get away from my brothers for a while. They kind of…pick on me…because I'm kind of…"
"Flighty?" He nods sheepishly. "Don't worry about it. I'm the same way sometimes—well, actually…most of the time." I laugh. "Tripped up a step because I was hyper and daydreamy…"
He sighs heavily. "A lot of the Autobots think I'm a menace in the air because if it. I just like to look around as I fly."
"I look around when I drive… Not smart, but I do." I chuckle. "I'm surprised I made it to Chicago in one piece to begin with!" I smile and lay a hand on his leg. "There's one thing you need to remember when they get like that."
"What's that?"
"No matter what they say, you're perfect just the way you are." I smile up at him. "It's actually something I learned when I got out here. Back home… I was always tormented because I'm child-like and a dreamer—I lived in a fantasy world to escape the hell I lived in then, and they hated it—thought I was nuts." I sigh heavily. "I regress from time-to-time, too—you know, act like a little kid?" He nods. "They'd make fun of me, or out-right abuse me for it. Here…" I chuckle softly. "I regressed just this morning, from excitement over meeting Optimus, and they didn't even bat an optic—they just sat there and enjoyed it—well…" I giggle. "Blades kind of laughed, but that was because "She's cute when she's regressed and angry."."
"What happened?"
I shrug. "My foster kitten wouldn't take her bottle. She only does for Groove, and it drives me nuts sometimes…" I smile. "We're their hope, Flight."
"What?"
"You and I—the childlike ones with the sparks of dreamers. We're the ones that make the darkest times seem a little more bearable to the rest of them. We're their hope, when things seem hopeless, because we never stop believing in the future."
"I guess you're right." He stands. "Ready to go back to the others?"
"Sure." I smile and pull the door open. "I really just needed some time away from new-ness. I've got a condition called Autism, and sometimes I just need a break from…well, from life, I guess."
"Hey, Flight! Finally find your way back?"
"Hope you didn't run into a wall on your way back!"
"He's such a space case, he probably ran into them all."
I clear my throat and cross my arms at the two unruly Aerials. "Stop picking on him. He's all you've got!" I huff. "Besides, I'm just as bad as him, and I manage to get around without walking into walls." Blades and Hot Spot snicker a little, and I do as well once I catch the memory they're laughing about. "Doors are another story all together, but walls?"
Fireflight gives me a look. "Doors?"
"I tend to get so wrapped up in what I'm saying—or thinking—that I forget the doors aren't going to open just because I'm walking toward them. Thankfully, it's only happened with Blades and Spot around, and I know how to laugh at myself." I shrug. "Used to walk into refrigerators all the time back home, too…door frames…tripped over my own feet and everything else possible…" I shake my head at myself. "But I know how to laugh at myself—that's a good thing to learn, Flight. When they're laughing with you, it doesn't hurt as much."
Hot Spot turns to me worriedly. "As much?"
"There's still the pain from walking into a door to deal with, you know."
"I thought you meant it upset you."
I shake my head. "Nope. You're good, Big Guy."
