Warning for discussion of death and discussion of past sex
Chapter Eight - Temporaries
Cynthia and Nikolai had never dated. Not in the traditional sense. They had talked after the championship, talked her through how to have an apprentice, especially one as fickle and young as Dawn. They had gone out to dinner and caught pokemon. She had shown him the ruins he had seen with his family once when he was small. It had only been propriety that had kept the two of them from doing anything untoward by those ruins, likely out of some cosmic kind of irony.
Well that and he was somewhat religious. It wasn't a good time.
He had to be kept a secret. Noelani had to be kept a secret. Not out of hate or fear (well there might have been on the manager's part for the many pinwheels and circles she'd had to circle around to get things worked out) of each other, but of everything else. And illness. Noelani was a victim of the child Champion's innocent mistakes, of the mother's lack of foresight. And he was the scum of the earth for daring to touch her in the first place.
Besides, Cynthia was a human being. She deserved her secrets as much as anyone.
He could tolerate being that secret, he thought.
But now that was over. They would be in the limelight now, once the rumors spread, once the news caught hold and clung. It was necessary, he knew. He even thought Noelani knew it deep down, that hiding her was a mistake. That she was someone to be proud of, come what may. And Cynthia had decided to show her that. Decided to give her something good. Also it would give her some more help that hiding it had avoided.
And now she was sleeping, or dozing, in his arms. Noel had gotten dizzy during her play, not a surprise. It was better not to take any chances, though, just in case. She was so small for a seven year old. Not fragile, exactly, but small. Small because something was hovering over her. Small from the weight of humans not leaving well enough alone.
"She's healthier than I thought she'd be today," Cynthia said after a long stretch of silence, during which Noelani had let out a little snore. He wasn't too sure if it was faked or not. "Nothing too bad since the krabby?"
He wanted to tell her no, wanted to rage at her that it was none of her business because of something that… wasn't even her fault. The rage deflated like a balloon. "Dizzy spells, droopier days, nothing the doctors don't know about, unfortunately. It's not as often as it could be. The exercise is doing her good."
Cynthia nodded, acknowledging his pause but not pulling on it, as Jen would have. Jen was a nosy git though, he didn't even count really. "I'm glad. I figured that would help but…"
"It's not delaying the inevitable," he finished. "No, of course not, but it's good. It's hopeful and fun. That's all that matters, that she has this, that she has fun."
"What if she…" Cynthia's brow furrowed and she looked at the sleeping lids of their little girl. They weren't old, not by any stretch of the imagination, but she had been twenty-two. He had been twenty-one. League seasoned, desperate for something that wasn't his disaster of a sixteenth year of existence. Or his eighteenth. Those were two very bad years practically back-to-back. But they'd been old in spirit, Cynthia in the same place she had stood since eleven years old and with a heavy pokedex. "What if she dies on your way, Lai-Lai?"
Nikolai swallowed his Adam's apple. "I…" He screwed his eyes shut as they entered the Pokemon Center, leading her to the shared rooms as he did. The lights weren't too bright, but his heart was a little too big now, all of a sudden. "I'll do what I can for her… and if that fails, I'll call you and we'll-"
He coughed on the rest of his sentence, on the rest of his feelings and they spewed out anyway in tears. "I don't know," he admitted through them, through him leaning on her the rest of the way, through Noel's sudden lack of snores. "I don't know, I don't know, Cyn."
Her own silence meant she didn't either. And a sick tiny part of him was relieved he could say those words.
Cynthia was not a person of carnal pleasures. He had been for a time, out of curiosity mostly, out of that desire to understand himself that his mother had planted into him at a very young age. It was the only way to even start having mental health, she had impressed upon him many times. You have to know what is you and what is someone else. You have to know where you are and how. And so he had done as she had asked.
Simply put, it wasn't pretty. Sex wasn't either, but was it supposed to be? He couldn't tell you.
But she wasn't too fond of it. During her pregnancy it had been encouraged, and thus, being twenty something and not really in need to go out and work for a living they had, but afterwards, it wasn't a thing to think about. The idea hardly came to him, and he knew it almost never came to her, so it didn't happen. Also there was a small child in the house and having the talk wouldn't make interruptions any less awkward.
So it was very unsurprising for Cynthia to be sitting on his bed, in her casual pajamas, and with her hair decs resting in Noel's own messy white as the little girl slept in hers. Feeling his gaze, she looked up at him. "What?"
"You," he said, admittedly struck a little dumb. "I thought you'd go home."
"The league?" She snorted. "Dawn has been back for three days. They've decided to sink their claws in and not let go. She gets to observe Elite Four replacements."
"Oh. Right. Bertha's retiring." He sat down beside her, chuckling at the way Noel's pokemon had taken to curling around her. "Weird."
"Her knees are starting to give." She sighed. "So they need a type specialization."
"Oh." It wasn't required, but type specialization was preferred for most gyms and elites because it taught strategy. You had to learn how to get past your weaknesses through experience.
Cynthia smiled at him very gently and gestured for him to lay down. Nikolai obeyed, if only to avoid talking about what ifs again, if only to appreciate everything that he had and then some. Tomorrow, they could confront everything.
Tomorrow, he would read Jen's email.
