West
"This is the worst day of my entire life!" Carly announced as her, Sam, and Freddie walked into Spencer's apartment.
"Did you get gum stuck in your bellybutton like I did?" Spencer asked, looking up from trying to pull a string of pink bubblegum out of his navel.
"Um…no," Carly frowned.
"How'd you get gum stuck in your bellybutton?" Freddie asked.
"Well see I-"
"We don't want to know!" Carly said quickly.
"I kind of wanted to know…" Sam said.
"Well what's got you all glum, kid?" Spencer asked.
"The school just announced that they're going to be having this four-week driver's ed. course offered on the weekend," Carly sighed.
"Oh yeah, I did driver's ed. back in high school!" Spencer nodded. "It was fun! Well, except when I crashed the car I was driving into the gate around the parking lot…but we were only going like, ten miles an hour, so it was all good."
"You crashed into the gate and you still passed driver's ed.?" Freddie said.
"Oh no, I failed," Spencer said. "Three times."
"Well I'm not even gonna get the chance to fail once!" Carly snapped. "I can't take the course!"
"Why not?" Spencer frowned. "I thought you just had to be fifteen. And you're seventeen; you're plenty old."
"But I don't have my permit!" Carly said. "That's a requirement for students to take the class!"
"Oh yeah, it is," Spencer nodded. "Forgot about that. Well, why don't you have your permit?"
"Because you refuse to go down to the DMV with me to get it!" Carly exclaimed.
"Well I hate that place!" Spencer defended. "It's depressing!"
"Come on, Carls, I'm sure it's gonna be boring," Freddie assured her.
"No it wont," Sam scoffed. "A class where you get to race around Seattle driving cars? That's probably the one class I won't want to fall asleep in."
"You two signed up for driver's ed.?" Spencer asked.
"That's right, my two best friends are going to learn all about driving while I get left behind," Carly sighed.
"Hold up…Freddie, your mom let you get a permit?" Spencer frowned. "She doesn't let you eat solid fruits!"
"I know, I was shocked too," Freddie said. "But her theory is if I learn to drive, we can take 'exciting mother-son road trips' to botanical gardens all across the country."
"And the list continues to grow," Sam said.
"What list?" Freddie asked.
"My list of reasons why you're a total loser," Sam replied promptly.
"And see? Without me in that course with them, Sam and Freddie are probably going to wind up killing each other," Carly sighed. "Can you two just promise me that you'll at least behave in this class without me?"
"I am not the one you need to be concerned with," Freddie said. "It's her!"
"I'm not gonna do anything to your nubby butt, so calm down," Sam snapped. "I'll be too busy speeding around town with the wind in my hair."
…
"I hate this…" Sam said as she slumped down in her seat a few weeks later as her and Freddie sat in their driver's ed. course.
"Shhh!" Freddie hissed, dutifully taking notes as the instructor went through his slideshow. "I'm trying to pay attention!"
"I thought this was driver's ed.," Sam continued. "So why the heck are we in a classroom instead of driving?"
"You can't just jump behind the wheel of a car!" Freddie said. "You have to learn all the rules of the road, the different street signs, proper car care-"
"Blah, blah, blah!" Sam cut him off. "This is boring! I can't believe I signed up for this chiz. It's Saturday; I could be out searching for illegal fireworks right now!"
"Look, we'll get to practice driving soon enough," Freddie said. "But will you please leave me alone so we don't get in trouble with-"
"Hey, Benson!" the teacher suddenly said loudly, turning away from his slideshow. "Cut the chit-chat!"
"But-But I wasn't-" Freddie sputtered.
"Quiet! Or you'll be dismissed from this course immediately!" the instructor said. "Now, as I was saying, when carrying out a three-point turn…"
"Well, I guess that was mildly entertaining," Sam smirked. "Still, I might actually pass out from boredom. This is just as bad as Mr. Howard's lecture on binder clips the other day. Are we ever gonna get to drive?"
"If you would read the course packet, you'd see that we get to start driving in three weeks," Freddie whispered. "Now seriously, let me pay attention!"
"Three weeks? I have wait three weeks to get behind the wheel?" Sam moaned. "Ugh! I knew anything held at school on a Saturday couldn't be good. Why do we have to wait three weeks? It's insane! I want to-"
"Puckett? Why are you talking during my lecture?" the instructor demanded, turning back around.
"Ha!" Freddie smirked happily. "She's finally gonna get in trouble…"
"Oh, I was just explaining to Freddie here the importance of using your turn signal when driving," Sam said. "He's a little slow with this stuff."
"What?" Freddie exclaimed.
"Oh, well thank you for being such a helpful student," the instructor said. "That's always refreshing to see. Now, as I was saying-"
"It's moments like this when I can't believe I actually dated you," Freddie mumbled, rolling his eyes.
"Right back at you, nub," Sam smirked.
…
"Okay, so at a four-way stop, the first vehicle who arrived at the stop will be the first vehicle to proceed," Freddie said several weeks later as he sat up in the iCarly studio, pouting over his notes. "And at a two-way stop-"
"Dude, you've been studying for your final exam for a whole week, you'll be fine," Carly assured him. "Don't you just have to drive through a little course that they set up?"
"Yeah, but the people riding in our cars grading us are DMV workers," Freddie said. "And at the end, if you pass, they'll write you a certificate that you can take to the DMV to get your actual license."
"Wow, that's exciting!" Carly said. "I can't believe you and Sam are actually gonna be licensed drivers after tomorrow. Think of all the places we can go! We can go to the mall and, um…well I'll think up some more places tonight."
"Hold up there, Carls, you have to pass the test to get that license," Sam said. "And sure, Fredwad may know all the lame rules of the road, but behind the wheel he's gonna be a total mess!"
"I've done just fine behind the wheel in class, Puckett!" Freddie snapped.
"Dude, you're like a grandpa driving," Sam said. "Worse than a grandpa, actually! You go like, two miles an hour, you put your turn signal on five hundred feet ahead of your turn, you look both ways a gazillion times before crossing any intersection-"
"It's called being a defensive driver!" Freddie defended. "Which is better than being a reckless driver like you!"
"We'll see who's talking when I get my license tomorrow and you don't," Sam shrugged, getting to her feet. "Hey, I'm gonna go walk down to the Groovy Smoothie one last time before I can drive there. You want anything, Carls?"
"Oh, a Kiwi Splat would be nice," Carly replied.
"I'll take a Strawberry Slam," Freddie said.
"Yeah…wasn't asking you," Sam said.
"I saw that coming," Freddie said, rolling his eyes as Sam headed out of the studio.
"So," Carly said. "Exactly how reckless of a driver is Sam?"
"Well, let's put it this way," Freddie said. "Last week when the teacher had us practicing parallel parking out in the parking lot, she decided that was too boring for her, so she spent twenty minutes trying to do donuts."
"I'm not surprised, I mean her mom is a horrible driver," Carly said. "Have you ever been in the car with the woman?"
"No," Freddie said.
"Well lucky you," Carly mumbled. "Last time her mom drove us back from school she stopped off at an Inside-Out Burger and tried to go through the drive-thru backwards!"
"So that's where Sam got the idea!" Freddie said. "Yeah, she tried to do that exact same thing when we did our on-road driving practice a few weeks ago!"
"Do you think she has any chance of passing her test?" Carly asked.
"Honestly…not really," Freddie sighed. "It's not that she's not a good driver; she could totally be if she wanted to! But, well, you know Sam. She thinks it's more fun to try and do crazy car stunts than to be a cautious driver."
"Aw man, she's gonna be so upset," Carly sighed. "She's been so excited about finally getting her license. Can't you try and talk to her and help her?"
"Yeah, like that would go well," Freddie scoffed. "You know Sam would just call me a nub, tell me I don't know what I'm talking about, and then give me a wedgie."
"Yeah, you're right," Carly sighed. "Well…who knows. Maybe between now and tomorrow a miracle will happen and Sam will become a sensible, defensive driver."
"You really think that will happen?"
"Of course not, but a girl can dream, can't she?" Carly said.
…
"Why are we at your school on a Saturday again?" Spencer moaned the next day as him and Carly waited in the Ridgeway parking lot. "I should be sleeping in till noon."
"I just thought it would be nice for us to be here for Sam and Freddie when they get back from their driver's test," Carly said. "This is a big moment for them. And it could've been a big moment for me too if you would get over your dang fear of the DMV!"
"Well those wait times are insane!" Spencer defended just as a white vehicle pulled into the parking lot.
"Oh, that's Freddie!" Carly said as Freddie perfectly parked his car and hopped out of the seat.
"Hey, how'd you do?" Spencer asked as Freddie approached the siblings.
"A perfect score!" Freddie said proudly, holding up his certificate. "The woman who was testing me said I was the best driver she's ever tested!"
"Wow, congratulations!" Carly said, giving him a quick hug.
"Thanks," Freddie said. "I can't wait to go to the DMV to get my actual license. I mean I know it's going to be awhile until my mom lets me drive on my own, but it will still be cool to have. Hey…has Sam come back yet?"
"No, not yet," Carly said. "But shouldn't she-oh! I think that's her!"
Another white car sped into the parking lot, driving over the curve and coming to a stop right in front of a fire hydrant. The second the car stopped moving the passenger door opened and a man in a suit jumped out and began vomiting as Sam got out of the drivers seat and stormed over to the group.
"Oh…that doesn't look like the face of a girl who just passed her driving test," Carly sighed.
"Considering her tester is puking his guts up, I don't think it went well," Freddie said. "Poor Sam…Look, let's not say anything about me getting my license. I don't think it's a good idea to-"
"So did you pass?" Spencer asked cheerfully as Sam reached them, causing Carly and Freddie to groan.
"That guy had it out for me from the start!" Sam snapped. "He was total scuzzbag! First he refused to let me eat my breakfast burrito while I was driving because he said I needed 'both hands on the wheel', then he yelled at me because I sped through a school zone, and he took of like, half my points because I tried to take a shortcut to main street by going through a back alley. Apparently you can only drive on 'official roads' now."
"Sam, I'm sorry," Carly said. "But can't you retake the test again? You know, now that you know you need to be a bit less, um, reckless?"
"I have to wait six whole months before I can try again," Sam said, shaking her head. "I can't believe this!"
"Hey, if it makes you feel any better, it took me five tries before I got my license," Spence said.
"That makes me feel terrible!" Sam snapped.
"Well!" Spencer huffed.
"Come on, why don't we all go grab some lunch to get your mind off of this, Sam," Carly said. "You can't be all pouty with a mouth full of wings."
"Sure," Sam conceded.
"We'll go grab the car, Spencer parked kind of far away," Carly said. "You two wait here."
As Carly and Spencer went off to the car, Sam turned to Freddie and saw the certificate in his hand. "So you passed?"
"Er, yeah," Freddie said. "I did."
"Great," Sam said, shaking her head. She looked up at him. "Well?"
"Well what?" Freddie frowned, confused.
"Aren't you going to rub this in my face?" Sam asked. "After all that smack I talked about how bad of a driver you were?"
"No, I'm not," Freddie said. "Because I can tell you're genuinely disappointed about this, and if there's one thing I've learned from you, it's that you don't kick someone when they're down."
"Oh," Sam said, slightly taken aback. "Well…cool. Alright then."
"Look, you said you can retake the test in six months," Freddie said. "So…why don't I help you study during that time."
"Study?" Sam frowned.
"Yeah, you know, we can go over tips to be a defensive driver, review a few road rules…things like that," Freddie said. "If-If you want."
Sam sighed. "Well it looks like I'm not gonna get my license unless I learn to drive like a total slug so…sure, you can teach me, I guess."
"Great, we can start tomorrow then," Freddie said. "And lesson number one will be 'How to Use a Turn Signal'."
"Oh come on, turn signals are totally unnecessary!" Sam complained. "What's next? Are you going to expect me to slow down at yellow lights?"
"Wow…we really have a lot of work to do," Freddie said, shaking his head.
